All About Autism
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Niu2009:
Today went for RDI assessment. Based on current level, consultant think he is not ready for p1 next year. She let me do registration first then decide whether defer him in Nov. Sign!
Niu
Personally, I find that there is no problem with deferment if this is going to be beneficial for the child. Where I am, I see a lot of parents who deferred their children for 1 to 2 years, and that decision has really helped their children grow. Having said that, you would have to consider what to do with your child during the year of deferment.
If you are two minds about the consultant's recommendations, then maybe deferment could be the consideration. However, if you are really sure about your child and feel that you have strong grounds to reject your consultant's recommendations, then you would have found your decision.
One step at a time. Hope this helps. Good luck!
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Thanks a lot! I haven’t made my mind yet. Will see how he progress in the next half a year.
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ImMeeMee:
I agree. Objectively assess your child's readiness. Compare with other kids the same age. There's no need to make sure your child is among the better ones, but observe to see if your child is able to keep up with the middle of the pack in most things. Waiting for the child to \"grow up\" in skills rather than just go by chronological age works better for kids who have developmental issues like ours. And this applies right through their educational journey, I believe. My 18yo girl is still more like a 14yo, and I wish I could have slowed her down earlier, but we didn't see it as an option for various reasons. Now we are trying to slow her down - 3 yrs to do A levels, and possibly poly after (if she can get in), and then hopefully a job later on. She will be 3 yrs older than other students in poly, and will then start work at 23yo - hopefully she will have \"grown up\" sufficiently by then!Niu2009:
Today went for RDI assessment. Based on current level, consultant think he is not ready for p1 next year. She let me do registration first then decide whether defer him in Nov. Sign!
Niu
Personally, I find that there is no problem with deferment if this is going to be beneficial for the child. Where I am, I see a lot of parents who deferred their children for 1 to 2 years, and that decision has really helped their children grow. Having said that, you would have to consider what to do with your child during the year of deferment.
If you are two minds about the consultant's recommendations, then maybe deferment could be the consideration. However, if you are really sure about your child and feel that you have strong grounds to reject your consultant's recommendations, then you would have found your decision.
One step at a time. Hope this helps. Good luck! -
Hi all,
Do agree! Actually my son is ready except social. The consultant said if he can make a few friends will much lower down the chance of bully. That’s why she said maybe defer one year, then he won’t suffer in school. For me, I will observe till year end and see how his progress. -
Niu2009:
perhaps ask KK hospital child psychologist :Hi all,
Do agree! Actually my son is ready except social. The consultant said if he can make a few friends will much lower down the chance of bully. That's why she said maybe defer one year, then he won't suffer in school. For me, I will observe till year end and see how his progress.
whether got any social behavior lessons for K2 / P1 children, to teach them how to behave in a social setting, under different scenario. Maybe zoom in on the social behavior part, to enhance the child's social awareness of surrounding, of people around him.
when start P1, there are 2 type of readiness
- academic
- social behavior
If child is already academic ready, but only social part not ready, not sure if really worthwhile to defer P1.
But if u say both academic + social part also not ready by end of K2 : then Yes perhaps defer 1 year may really help him a lot to develop further. -
Niu2009:
Actually if he is ready except social, I don't see why there's any need to defer. There are many out there who are loners.Hi all,
Do agree! Actually my son is ready except social. The consultant said if he can make a few friends will much lower down the chance of bully. That's why she said maybe defer one year, then he won't suffer in school. For me, I will observe till year end and see how his progress.
Friends or no friends isn't how bullies pick their targets. They pick the weak ones. If your son is tall, nobody will dare touch him. So I don't agree with the consultant. There are 2 autistic kids in my son's class including him. He got bullied in p1 not because of his social skills. There are many protective classmates surrouding him. He got picked coz he is the smallest sized one. The moment he cries, all his other classmates will come over and call for the teacher. U can see the whole bunch form a circle to protect him from the bully. He hasnt even learned how to make friends then. The other classmate was much taller and he didn't get that much of a bullying problem.
Bullies are everywhere and they don't pick based on social skills. -
It’s a judgement call how much poor social skills will affect a child’s experience in P1. If the social skills are not lagging too much, well, as others have pointed out, there are also NT kids who are not social or have idiosyncracies. I don’t think bullying is the only concern - the child should be at the level where he can learn from the social experiences, and not too far behind. Lagging too far behind and always struggling to keep up and understand will affect his self-esteem, and can have long-lasting repercussions. School is as much for social education as for academic learning.
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Hi
How and what can we do to improve child social behaviours ? Social skills? To improve his self esteem. -
Improving social behaviour is a constant part of life for any child, and more so for those who lag behind. When my daughter was young, I spent a lot of time explaining the kind of behaviour I wanted to see, trying to help her see the reasons for it, and what others would think about her behaviour, and getting her to practise the expected behaviour through role play, then putting it in action. We also used social stories to remind and reinforce as I found she absorbs well through the written word. It’s a long, slow process. And when she finds that she is accepted by her peers and can do things with them, even if only on the fringes, I think it helps her self-esteem.
And as the get older and more self-aware, you may have to explain to them that they are different from the "norm", and how that affects their perception of what behaviours are appropriate, odd, hurtful etc. They will need to find a balance between being themselves and not being so odd/inappropriate that others avoid them. -
Snow24:
I am grateful that my ASD daughter has two elder sisters that she can learn from. They are her best social mates, and best teachers. When they play together, she has a mix of interactive play and parallel play with them.Hi
How and what can we do to improve child social behaviours ? Social skills? To improve his self esteem.
Their cousins come over during the weekend, and my daughter has begun to play with her younger cousin. She used to ignore the other kids, but now she is becoming more aware of their presence. It's quite a slow process, but I do see some baby steps.
Skills wise, I am still teaching her about the proper ways of maintaining a conversation. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she doesn't.
I think lack of social skills will always be a deficit for my doter, we just have to keep trying.
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