disappointment wif kids
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u r right…even if my boy knows he will be caned and has been caned many many times, he DOES NOT LEARN from his lessons! he just repeats the same things i told him not to do
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Maybe some kids need some time to understand certain stuff. When my ds1 was younger, he used to be not bothered about schoolwork, think of playing the whole day and do stupid things and say stupid stuff. But now, he's in Sec 1. I see a difference in him. Everyday after school, he would auto take out his work and do. He even do his assessments books, something that he would totally avoid previously. He also ask me when he don't know how to do his work and even request for tuition. He didn't really have tuition in primary sch.
Even though he is still rude to other family members and long-winded, at least it is less 1 worry. Hopefully, in time to come, he will learn to be more polite and be more independent. I can't nag at him forever.
Now, my p3 ds2 is worse than ds1. Academically weak and poor in attitude. Stubborn and deaf! Thick skin too! :stupid: Dump tuition on him also useless. Disappointed with him? Ya, but can't always scold him on same issue right? Might really switch off. Haiz... I hope to build up his confidence level so that maybe he will find positive energy to deal with his school work. He likes sports and maybe have to work in that area. -
Children are not the same as adults. They don’t care about the future. They don’t care if they fail all subjects and end up as a road sweeper in the future.
I think that parents must try different methods to teach and motivate their kids. In many cases, we simply cannot afford to let kids face the consequences. Also, most kids just simply do not learn their lessons even if they have faced the consequences.[/quote]
I’ve lost count of the number of times that I reminded my P5 ds that he will end up a road sweeper or toilet cleaner. Despite that, the attitude does not change and he’s still not worried and continues to put in minimal effort in his studies. So i have to agree that kids just don’t care or are unable to care at their maturity level. Even if they care, it may be for a short five or ten mins before something more interesting crops up. And having failed his Chinese paper and badly for other papers, he definitely has éxperienced’the consequences however, without learning the lessons.
Frankly, I’m at a loss at how to motivate him. Think short of sitting with him every time he’s 'studying’or doing homework, his mind will just drift away.
Disappointment with him, definitely yes because i know he has the potential to do much better but is simply bochap and will most likely do badly in his psle next year. I don’t know when he will finally mature and it may be too late when he finally does. -
I taught in a university in China last year, and I observed the living conditions of the Chinese students. Their hostel rooms are like prison cells, and stink so badly that I almost vomited when I walked past. 6 students squeeze into a small room. They sleep on wooden planks with only a very thin foam padding.
As a result, they are very hardworking and motivated compared to Singaporean students, because they want to get out of their horrible living conditions.
This is the real consequence that the child will face if he ends up as a road sweeper. Are Singapore parents prepared to let their kids experience this type of living conditions ? Not just for a few weeks, but all the way until they complete university. Then I believe that the kids will work as hard as the students in China. -
tamarind:
I am keen to let my dd experience for a week. It should be enough to make her be more appreciative of what she has.I taught in a university in China last year, and I observed the living conditions of the Chinese students. Their hostel rooms are like prison cells, and stink so badly that I almost vomited when I walked past. 6 students squeeze into a small room. They sleep on wooden planks with only a very thin foam padding.
As a result, they are very hardworking and motivated compared to Singaporean students, because they want to get out of their horrible living conditions.
This is the real consequence that the child will face if he ends up as a road sweeper. Are Singapore parents prepared to let their kids experience this type of living conditions ? Not just for a few weeks, but all the way until they complete university. Then I believe that the kids will work as hard as the students in China.
Is there a way to simulate such environment here in SGP as I don't think there is such \"opportunity\" in China to let kids realise how fortunate they are and hence are more motivated to learn? I am keen to be part of the team to set up such simulated environment
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sharon1234:
Actually it is very easy to simulate that kind of environment in Singapore.
I am keen to let my dd experience for a week. It should be enough to make her be more appreciative of what she has.tamarind:
I taught in a university in China last year, and I observed the living conditions of the Chinese students. Their hostel rooms are like prison cells, and stink so badly that I almost vomited when I walked past. 6 students squeeze into a small room. They sleep on wooden planks with only a very thin foam padding.
As a result, they are very hardworking and motivated compared to Singaporean students, because they want to get out of their horrible living conditions.
This is the real consequence that the child will face if he ends up as a road sweeper. Are Singapore parents prepared to let their kids experience this type of living conditions ? Not just for a few weeks, but all the way until they complete university. Then I believe that the kids will work as hard as the students in China.
Is there a way to simulate such environment here in SGP as I don't think there is such \"opportunity\" in China to let kids realise how fortunate they are and hence are more motivated to learn? I am keen to be part of the team to set up such simulated environment
One of my neighbour, a Myanmar family, runs a homestay for students from Myanmar. They squeeze 3 students in each tiny HDB room. Every time I walk pass, I smell something unpleasant.
However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job. -
tamarind:
actually, the current thinking is why work for others when you can work for yourself. Most entreprenuers are very fulfilled and passionate about what they do. That can't really be said of the working masses today. Even the highly paid ones who seems to be working 9 to 9pm, and at the end of the day, might be asked to leave the company due to a company reorganization.
However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.
The current view is work for yourself and get multiple avenues for passive income. A good example of passive income is this site. The advertising it draws is pretty good passive income. -
tamarind:
Perhaps no need to go to the extent of simulating poor living condition?Actually it is very easy to simulate that kind of environment in Singapore.
However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.
Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea: -
tamarind:
Sorry to hear that your son was sick. Hope he is well already.
I withdrew my son from kindergarten at K2, not because he complained about going to school, but because he was always getting ill. He stayed at home for almost one year, and he loved it so much. He was not looking forward to going to primary one at all.
Children are not the same as adults. They don't care about the future. They don't care if they fail all subjects and end up as a road sweeper in the future.
Since my boy's foundation in both English and Chinese are good and he is learning a lot on his own, the work in P1 is easy for him and he can complete his work quickly and correctly. He does not like going to school very much, because to him, there is no need to go to school in order to learn.
When my boy was very young, he used to sleep without brushing teeth. His teeth never have any problems. Now he does not mind brushing teeth, not because we let his teeth decay, but because we brush for him right up to about 5 or 6 years old. After that, he enjoys brushing teeth on his own because he thinks it is fun.
I think that parents must try different methods to teach and motivate their kids. In many cases, we simply cannot afford to let kids face the consequences. Also, most kids just simply do not learn their lessons even if they have faced the consequences.
Yes, I strongly agree with you that parents must try different methods to teach & motivate their kids. Every child is different, and every parent is different too. Parents gotta figure out, try different ways till they found the right way. And even after getting it right now, doesn't mean the same method will work forever.
Which is why, forums are useful. Different parents put up different methods for all to \"study\" and decide whether to try or not.
My principle is very simple. I can only help you, if you are willing to help yourself. Of course, my kids are still young, plus I must say that they are pretty good kids (the type that's easily talk to and coorperate), so I don't really have much disappointment in them or problems with them.
Keeping my fingers crossed that parenting (for me) can remain as smooth-sailing as it is now. Might be wishful thinking... but I hope it's possible. -
sleepy:
How to do that? Any concrete examples will be much appeciated. I'm at a loss for ways to motivate my DS. He is in P6 and does'nt seem to take PSLE too seriously. Infact he is very easy going. What ever little effort he puts in is because I supervise and he does it just to please. No real self motivation.
Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea:
I believe it is not possible to perform to your true potential ulness you want to, meaning you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. As parents we can encourage and push, but ultimately it is the child's desire to succeed and excel is what matters most.
Requesting parents to share tips on how to nurture/create an environment so that a child is self motivated. Any good books on self-motivation for preteen/teen will be much appreciated.
P.S: Shoud I start a new thread on self motivation? :?
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