Help! my boy hates going to school

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 10:40:53 GMT

tamarind — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 10:40:53 GMT

ks2me:
Yes we do that too. As long as there are no test or any special school events, we do apply to school for LOA for extended holidays. Of course if the school does not permit, we will abide by the rules as we recognise that if school permits, it is a bonus not our rights.

Oh I didn't know that can be done. That is a very good idea. Airfares/hotels are so expensive during the school holidays, and everywhere affordable seems to be fully booked.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:33:24 GMT

smurf — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:33:24 GMT

sleepy:
Alternatively, you can replace kindy with a number of once a week type of enrichments eg. music, swimming, phonics, chinese, maths enrichments

Can also explore nearby community centers for classes eg. art & craft, abacus

thing is, it's not the classes, he is having chinese enrichment. initially he is so enthusiastic about going and said he enjoyed lessons, but fter a while, he said he doesn't want me to continue.

very tiring leh, have to keep looking around for things to let him try.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:13:38 GMT

smurf — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:13:38 GMT

Trina:
Am wondering how's your ds learning progress? I have heard from two mums with gifted kids that their kids were very bored in school cos they already knew everything. Perhaps your kid is gifted too?

I do think that some of the stuff taught at kindy can be rather boring e.g. keep practicing penmanship etc.

no lah, I dun think he is gifted...gifted child very smart 1 leh...sometimes when I tell him something, he has to take time to digest...I think he is just bored with routine?? cos his sch is quite big (for a kindy size) and a lot of time, they have to queue up, sit in class room and wait and wait...etc...so maybe he is bored with that lor...he did mention that his current teacher is very fierce...but to me, I think she is ok...and he did behave better in this class.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:10:00 GMT

smurf — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:10:00 GMT

tamarind:

smurf,
When we provide enough books, resources and materials like papers and tools for creating new crafts, then the child will naturally think of things to do.

Thinking of ways to occupy his/her free time, is challenging, and this is an important skill that kids must learn. The problem is that most kids are put in pre-school since 18 months old, they are constantly being told what to do. So many kids nowadays lack this important skill.

I believe that kids are most creative before the age of 6. In order to develop creativity, kids must be given lots of free time to play and do whatever he wants.

Anyway, I am not telling you to keep your son at home lah. I am only saying that at this age going to kindergarten is not important. We still have another 16 years to worry about !

you are right.

things is, he hates reading! he only enjoys going to malls, outings, etc. but I dun have a lot of time bringing him out...

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:20:01 GMT

Trina — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:20:01 GMT

Am wondering how’s your ds learning progress? I have heard from two mums with gifted kids that their kids were very bored in school cos they already knew everything. Perhaps your kid is gifted too?

I do think that some of the stuff taught at kindy can be rather boring e.g. keep practicing penmanship etc.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:17:32 GMT

corneyAmber — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 11:17:32 GMT

sleepy:
tamarind:

I think the same way too. I like to travel with my kids overseas during school terms. Sometimes I even bring them to the swimming pool on weekdays instead of going to kindergarten I really miss the years when both are in kindergarten. I cannot do this any more now that my girl is in P1.
We still do that, skip school to go holiday during school term. Pick those days that don't coincide with test or exam. Just have to drop form teacher a note

Yes we do that too. As long as there are no test or any special school events, we do apply to school for LOA for extended holidays. Of course if the school does not permit, we will abide by the rules as we recognise that if school permits, it is a bonus not our rights.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:25:00 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:25:00 GMT

smurf:

thing is, if I dun let him go Kindy, I dunno what else he can do, and he keeps asking me what he can do. :x

also must have something to do mah, if dun have anything to do, then also no fun right? :celebrate:

Alternatively, you can replace kindy with a number of once a week type of enrichments eg. music, swimming, phonics, chinese, maths enrichments

Can also explore nearby community centers for classes eg. art & craft, abacus

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:11:49 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:11:49 GMT

tamarind:

I think the same way too. I like to travel with my kids overseas during school terms. Sometimes I even bring them to the swimming pool on weekdays instead of going to kindergarten I really miss the years when both are in kindergarten. I cannot do this any more now that my girl is in P1.

We still do that, skip school to go holiday during school term. Pick those days that don't coincide with test or exam. Just have to drop form teacher a note

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:00:48 GMT

tamarind — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:00:48 GMT

[quote]
Also, at kindy, missing classes was common and I had no qualms because alot more things were more important to me at that age than going to school, I would prioritise.[/quote]I think the same way too. I like to travel with my kids overseas during school terms. Sometimes I even bring them to the swimming pool on weekdays instead of going to kindergarten I really miss the years when both are in kindergarten. I cannot do this any more now that my girl is in P1.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:55:09 GMT

tamarind — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:55:09 GMT

smurf:
Hi Tamarind,

thanks for your experience. thing is, if I dun let him go Kindy, I dunno what else he can do, and he keeps asking me what he can do. :x

also must have something to do mah, if dun have anything to do, then also no fun right? :celebrate:

smurf,
When we provide enough books, resources and materials like papers and tools for creating new crafts, then the child will naturally think of things to do.

Thinking of ways to occupy his/her free time, is challenging, and this is an important skill that kids must learn. The problem is that most kids are put in pre-school since 18 months old, they are constantly being told what to do. So many kids nowadays lack this important skill.

I believe that kids are most creative before the age of 6. In order to develop creativity, kids must be given lots of free time to play and do whatever he wants.

Anyway, I am not telling you to keep your son at home lah. I am only saying that at this age going to kindergarten is not important. We still have another 16 years to worry about !

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Wed, 14 Apr 2010 08:34:51 GMT

smurf — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 08:34:51 GMT

Hi Tamarind,

thanks for your experience. thing is, if I dun let him go Kindy, I dunno what else he can do, and he keeps asking me what he can do. :x

also must have something to do mah, if dun have anything to do, then also no fun right? :celebrate:

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:47:28 GMT

corneyAmber — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:47:28 GMT

I agree with Tamarind that children need free time to dream and have fun.

I am one strange parent who was not particular about kindy. I did not do any homework(maybe dunno KSP then?? :lol:) prior to sending to the kindy, just choose something nearby for ease of getting there. And there was no academic enrichment outside school other than Chinese plus we did not join the school's prescribed enrichment at all either. \"Where got time?\" :lol:

Also, at kindy, missing classes was common and I had no qualms because alot more things were more important to me at that age than going to school, I would prioritise. Going kindy was just an immersion exercise for us, for her to understand what is school.

Did she suffer in P1 academically? Lucky not at all...even though 90% of her schoolmates were from premium academic kindys....it turned out more than fine for her. So this reinforces my belief that it is good to play hard when they can, no regrets when they enter formal school.

Disclaimer: Apply the above according to the child's personality as I would not want to be responsible for children not prepared for P1.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:32:49 GMT

tamarind — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:32:49 GMT

For the information of all parents :

http://www.moe.gov.sg/education/preschool/faq/
2. Is it compulsory for my child to complete Kindergarten 2 (K2) to be admitted to Primary One?

It is not compulsory for any child to attend kindergarten or complete K2 to enter Primary One. All children will be admitted into Primary One at the age of 6 as in 1 January of the year of admission.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:31:36 GMT

tamarind — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 23:31:36 GMT

smurf:
Thanks Bobbi for your encouragement. :celebrate:

Hi Tamarind,

I dunno how to homeschool child. Most of the time, I'm so held up by chores, chores and more chores, that I hardly have time to teach him. and what to teach? read book, I can only read few pages to him, after that, he stop wanting me to read. do maths, after 15 mins, he wants to stop and take a break. sometimes, I add in fun play, such as ask him to help me to cook, etc. so in 1 day, the 'quality' time spend with him (although we are together) is less than 1-2 hours maybe?

yes, I think he is bored, with routine, but what else can I let him do? sometimes, he would ask me, ''what can I do now, mama''? :oops:

and he can be very lazy. I'm so lost nowadays that I dunno why I choose to be a SAHM in the first place.

smurf,
It is not necessary to teach a child for a few hours a day at home.

When my boy was ill due to HFMD, I kept him at home for a few months. I only taught him for less than a hour everyday. I have a \"reading scheme\" which is very easy to follow, as described in my http://tamarindphonics.blogspot.com/. I don't read to my boy, he reads out loud to me. I also taught him how to do addition and subtraction by counting his toys. The rest of the time, he plays with his toys and create his own crafts using paper, pencils, scissors and glue.

Many parents are buying lots of P1 assessment books for their kindergarten kids to prepare them for P1. Just do a few pages a day at K2, and kids will know the entire P1 syllabus by the end of the year.

It is perfectly OK to let a child play or daydream on his own for most of the day. Playing and daydreaming are essential for a happy childhood. I daydreamed a lot when I was young. The child still has to suffer for a long time from 7 to 23 years old.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:12:37 GMT

corneyAmber — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:12:37 GMT

smurf:
Hi Ks2me,

really ah? I do hope that (ie, bored and looking forward to something to do) is the case lor, otherwise I dunno what to do.

Yes it was true for my child. You need to figure out if it is the same for yours.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:01:59 GMT

smurf — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 16:01:59 GMT

Hi Ks2me,

really ah? I do hope that (ie, bored and looking forward to something to do) is the case lor, otherwise I dunno what to do.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:40:00 GMT

corneyAmber — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:40:00 GMT

Actually kids are no different from us. They need to have something to look forward to like us. Perhaps the school is not offering that?

When my child was in K2, she stopped liking school too...nothing interesting and challenging to look forward to. Towards the last 6 months, she was dragging her feet to school, could not wait to go P1.
I was not too concerned and due to lack of motivation, the body also weakened and ended per her desire, absent for medical reason. However she was happy staying at home running her own life.

Then in P1, suddenly chirpy as a bird again because so many things to look forward to....school was like the most happening thing for her.
Now there are certain mini competitions to read x number of books to chase medals and being the first to arrive in school for her class(but no prize :roll: ) that keeps her on her toes in wanting to go to school. They just need something to look forward to....so I hope the school continues to have something in store for her to look forward to because I dread the day she comes home like in K2.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:11:30 GMT

smurf — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:11:30 GMT

Thanks Bobbi for your encouragement. :celebrate:

Hi Tamarind,

I dunno how to homeschool child. Most of the time, I'm so held up by chores, chores and more chores, that I hardly have time to teach him. and what to teach? read book, I can only read few pages to him, after that, he stop wanting me to read. do maths, after 15 mins, he wants to stop and take a break. sometimes, I add in fun play, such as ask him to help me to cook, etc. so in 1 day, the 'quality' time spend with him (although we are together) is less than 1-2 hours maybe?

yes, I think he is bored, with routine, but what else can I let him do? sometimes, he would ask me, ''what can I do now, mama''? :oops:

and he can be very lazy. I'm so lost nowadays that I dunno why I choose to be a SAHM in the first place.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:49:37 GMT

tamarind — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:49:37 GMT

Kindergarten is not compulsory. If the mommy have time to teach at home, kids can actually learn so much more at home. What they learn in kindergarten may be very simple for them, and they may find it very boring. Personally I find that it is sad to make a child so young trying to cope with boredom for half a day, or even a full day, 5 days a week. Compulsory education starts at P1, and after that there are about 16 years of serious studying. Kids before the age of 7 should have the freedom to do whatever they please, so long as they have already acquired the necessary skills of reading and writing and are well prepared for P1.

The other factor is the teacher. Not all pre-school teachers are loving and kind. I have encountered one who seems to hate her job. I pity the kids taught by her.

As for social interaction, it all depends on whether the kids in the kindergarten are nice. Some kids can really be bad influence to others. My brother’s daughter got a bruised eye from her K1 class. My brother stopped sending her to kindergarten. At P1, they moved to UK. I heard that the girl is now doing extremely well in school.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:06:05 GMT

Blobbi — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:06:05 GMT

Smurf,

I re-read your original post. Same same. The teachers used to tell me he's ok in school, he's got friends etc. I did spot checks too - seemed alright and even can laugh along with the class, but sometimes look a bit bored and distant. The teachers will always be fooled! But he comes home and says he has no connection with his class friends. Now in P school, it's the exact same thing! He doesn't even agree with what the teachers say :roll:. I sent my son to playgroups from 12mths, btw, so it's not when you start.

I actually homeschooled my son for 1.5yrs because I thot I could help him out socially. Academics was great, and I thot he improved socially too. But I was always puzzled about why he didn't want more than 1 playdate a week even though he made some good friends. He said he needed his own time to do his own stuff, which I respected.

It's not a disaster. Just make sure he knows he has to go to school. I tell my son he has to make the best of it. But after school, he can do what he likes. I've instituted a habit of no TV (ok, v minimal!) during the weekday and no computer games (lately, a bit), so he actually reads and looks up things he wants to learn about. Lately, he's actually quite keen to go to a class in his interest area, so I've started to scout for one.

My advice is to find your son's own balance. It may not be everybody else' balance. As long as he's learning well, just keep going steadily. And things keep changing for young kids (like in my son's case, couldn't shake him off my leg to go to school when youngerl!! Now, no such drama). I'm sure things will change again.

Good luck. Can one lah.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:07:27 GMT

cnimed — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:07:27 GMT

tankee:
deminc:
[quote=\"tankee\"]I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.

I disagree with that. I remember I used to love going to school. It's only much later when burn-out set in that I started resenting it. Likewise with work. I never start a job resenting it. I usually can't stop thinking about the things I can do!
....

you belonging to the minority then. [/quote]Perhaps, and it's a pity. Life really shouldn't be like that. I don't believe in the whole idea of going through the motion, needing to condition children for working life through school. I think that's all BS. Childhood should be about learning - not just learning academic and life skills, but also about oneself. If the child has a good understanding of his own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, he will be able to find a fulfilling role for himself in future.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:03:37 GMT

smurf — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:03:37 GMT

lovekidsverymuch:
smurf:
wow, just read your profile...hee... your DS1 birthday very close to my DS birthday by 2 days only. yours younger. :celebrate:

I cannot see ur profile

oh, I didn't update mah.hee.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:03:13 GMT

smurf — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:03:13 GMT

dunno whether he enjoy or not leh. I ask him but he just nod. never answer also. sometimes he anyhow talk also.

Reply to Help! my boy hates going to school on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:00:19 GMT

Funz — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:00:19 GMT

I doubt starting school earlier or later has any impact.

Both my kids start full day childcare at 2yrs old.

Actually reading your description about your son, especially about the part on asking for help then snatching the thing back b4 you can even finish showing him how, that part exactly like DD.

The other part about him liking swimming but not liking lessons, DD was like that too. She does not like to be restricted and she is very impatient.

Well since he is doing well in school and once he is in school he enjoys himself, then I guess no need to be too worried.