<![CDATA[Why teens and young adults trade so easily?]]>I feel disturbed reading this article that teens and young adults trade their bodies so easily for favours…are they not more educated these days? Why some things just don’t change? In the past people blame it on lack of education so ended up as such…but even today most kids are educated up to at least "N" or "O" levels but the education does not seem to make much impact…Why???


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I was too stupid to ask questions - Part 1
by Maureen Koh



WHEN they saw the online advertisement for part-time models, the young wannabes felt it was their way into the glamorous world of runways and fashion shoots.

Add to that the prospects of earning up to $700 for each assignment, and it was too much for Sara and Karen to resist.

What the young women didn’t realise was that the "modelling agency owner" who auditioned them was a fake.

By the time he was exposed, they had not only posed nude for him, but also had sex with him based on the promise of more jobs.

Last month the bogus modelling agency owner, Tan Eng Hwa, 35, was jailed four years on charges including cheating and criminal intimidation. (See other report on facing page.)

In separate interviews this week, Sara and Karen (not their real names) shared their nightmare with The New Paper on Sunday so that their experience can serve as a warning to other young, aspiring models.

As they are victims of sexual crimes, the women cannot be named by law.

Sara, 19, was excited when she came across Tan’s ad in June last year.


Said the student: "I’d always wanted to try modelling but never really had the chance to do it.

"In his ad, Tan said those interested did not need to have any experience."

Before Sara arranged to meet him, she told him that she had never modelled before.

She said: "He told me not to worry because he owned a modelling agency and his main aim was to groom newcomers."

Tan fixed an appointment for her to meet him at a budget hotel on Upper Serangoon Road.

Sara said: "Looking back, I should have realised that something was not right – but I was too stupid to ask.

"I also didn’t want to make it seem like I was paranoid."

While she was "sort of prepared for some sexy shots", Sara said she was taken aback when she was asked to pose in the nude.

She said: "I felt a little uncomfortable but he said he would pay me $200 for the assignment."

Tan also assured Sara that she needn’t worry because the shots would be tastefully done as he was a professional photographer.

During their conversation at the photo shoot, Sara mentioned to Tan that she was looking for some part-time work.

"He told me he could help get me some assignments if I didn’t mind working as a social escort," she said.

"I guess I just didn’t think straight. I don’t know what came over me but I said I could consider it."

Tan also told her it was a common practice in the modelling industry.

Sara said: "But he told me that since I didn’t have the experience, he’d help to train me instead and assured me that I won’t be doing it for nothing.

"He said he would pay me $200 to have sex with him. I thought about it and finally agreed to it."

When they were done and about to leave, Tan said he didn’t have enough money with him and promised to transfer the $200 to Sara’s bank account the following day.

But she never heard from him again. And her shame over the incident kept her from telling anyone.

Sara said: "I felt so dumb afterwards. But I was more worried that my photos would be leaked out one day.

"I really would not have done it if I knew he was bogus."

She added: "I felt so much at ease when I found out he was arrested. At least now I don’t have to live in fear.

"I can finally put everything behind me and move on with my life."

Same ruse

Tan used the same ruse on Karen, a 20-year-old student.

She responded to his online ad in November last year and met him at a budget hotel in Geylang.
Before that, Tan had also enticed her with stories of how his modelling agency had uncovered many new talents.

Karen, a modelling enthusiast, was excited by the thought of becoming a model.

She said: "It was like I could do something I like while earning some money."

When they met, he came prepared to allay any suspicion she may have had, by getting her to go through the "whole proper procedure" of filling up an application form.

Complimenting her on her looks, Tan said he would pay her $700 if she was agreeable to posing in lingerie and "taking some nude shots".
He also asked Karen if she was willing to take on assignments as a freelance social escort.

She said: "I told him I’d consider it on the condition that I didn’t have to have sex with the clients."
Using the $700 fee as bait, Tan said Karen must have sex with him to justify the payment.

"He also said that it (the sex act) was a form of training if I wanted to obtain any assignments," said the student.

She eventually had sex with him.

Tan also promised to transfer the payment into Karen’s bank account, but he never did.

She did not hear from him until about a week later when he called and said he wanted to meet her.

But by then, she realised "something was seriously wrong" as Tan had not kept his promise to pay her.

Karen said: "He gave all kinds of excuses, then said he wanted to have sex with me."

She rejected him and ended the call. But Tan continued to harass her with calls and SMSes.

When he realised that Karen would not give in, he threatened to post her nude photos on the Internet.

Afraid that Tan would carry out his threat, she made a police report.

Karen said: "The whole matter bothered me for some time – from the day I left the hotel room.

"I felt so relieved and happy – not just for myself, but also for the others who had fallen for his tricks."

While the incident has given Karen many sleepless nights, she said she has learned to appreciate her family more.

She said: "Seriously, when I realised the deep danger I was in, the only thing I could think of was, please, don’t let my mum find out about it.

"I didn’t want her to be angry with me."

While she declined to confirm whether her mother is now aware of what happened, Karen said that life has returned to normal.

She added: "I’ve grown and learned to be more mature now. I’m also sorry that I was such a rebellious child when I was in my teens.

"I’d yell at my mum and not listen to her, always feeling that she was a nag."

Karen now wants to focus only on her upcoming exams and studies.

"I refuse to allow it to get me down any more. It was a bad lesson – one that I hope others can learn from as well," she said.

"Money and materialistic gains are really not worth it for the pain and mental torture you have to live with."

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/10126/why-teens-and-young-adults-trade-so-easilyRSS for NodeWed, 29 Apr 2026 18:00:07 GMTTue, 13 Apr 2010 13:44:26 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:09:10 GMT]]>Think nowadays, kids see teacher more often than parents. Esp, both parents working. I just reach home. Kids sleeping liow. No chance to talk. Wife also sleep liow.


Eg, the chinese lesson on George Washington chopping the tree. If the teacher can use it as a chinese language lesson plus moral studies to teach students on honesty. :celebrate:

I guess most teachers not so on the ball. Go thru vocab, grammar, job close. Can give example on honesty. Discuss about personal experience or Newspaper articles.... :lol:

Teaching is a sacred calling.... no just another job. 🙏

Teachers can easily spot Lians and Bengs students, send them for Boot Camp or workshops to change them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/171082https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/171082Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:09:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 29 Apr 2010 06:32:09 GMT]]>

Donkey Kong:
I think the schools need to wake up.


Remember in the old days, schools have moral studies, principal and teachers organised talks every now and then to remind and teach pupils moral behaviour. :lol:

Can be done in weekly message: teachers take turns to preach 1 hour.
Principal every morning also preach. Teachers in class also preach.

Now, we hardly do wrong. Can flee from temptations easily.

MOE should ask schools to do something. 🙏
well, you said it - \"Preach\". I think ultimately the parents are the key factors. Teachers are there to teach them facts - why should they be tasked to have to be the moral compass too? If the parents are one kind (eg irresponsible/selfish/etc), any amount of coaching from the teachers will simply go to waste. Teachers can lead the kids by way of example - but I don't think giving speeches will help.

Another side of this is that whether the kids will want to listen to the teachers/principal? You can put the speaker next to their ears, but if they tune out...They will probably treat it as a karaoke session.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/170648https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/170648Thu, 29 Apr 2010 06:32:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 29 Apr 2010 06:18:08 GMT]]>I think the schools need to wake up.


Remember in the old days, schools have moral studies, principal and teachers organised talks every now and then to remind and teach pupils moral behaviour. :lol:

Can be done in weekly message: teachers take turns to preach 1 hour.
Principal every morning also preach. Teachers in class also preach.

Now, we hardly do wrong. Can flee from temptations easily.

MOE should ask schools to do something. 🙏

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/170618https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/170618Thu, 29 Apr 2010 06:18:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Sat, 17 Apr 2010 19:35:05 GMT]]>

insider:

Life to me is never about black or white but with many grey areas, such as giving the children the best doesn’t mean the best and having them ‘suffering’ doesn’t mean we are doing them any disservice; such as perfection maybe a flaw by itself; such as right can be wrong sometimes (like trying to argue with one’s own old parents / in-laws to the extent of win the battle but lose the war), etc. Under all upbringing and ongoing conditions, everyone has a ‘cricket’ in them and it is to what extent this cricket will grow from our nurturing of it through own experiences and to what extent we want to listen to that cricket to decide on matters big or small…
:goodpost:

So agree with your point of view :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/162460https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/162460Sat, 17 Apr 2010 19:35:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:03:03 GMT]]>people with high education also sell their bodies. So, we can not say that they lack of education.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/161508https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/161508Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:03:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 09:58:26 GMT]]>

insider:
Morals and values most parents will instill but how much can the kids really internalise and practice is at the end of the way up to them and my belief still lies with the inborn wisdom that each child has, like En and I belong to more of the same category of even put us in a black place we will still emerge white coz of there is a 'cricket' in our head guiding us to walk usually correctly. Personally I don't really remember my parents really ever drilled much moral and value into me but through life experiences, one may keep absorbing and assimilating those experiences and form own belief system AND even given the same experiences, different people may form different systems (bringing back to how loud the 'cricket' sound is in one's brain).

En, insider,

Thank you insider, for penning this down. I have been trying hard to put these similar thoughts down but hesitated because wasn't too sure whether I would sound absurd if the concept of the 'cricket' sound (quote unquote) was brought up here.

I too fit into this category. Father busy with his biz as far as I could remember and mom, well, in her own world. I relied v strongly in my inner voice (thats what I refer it as). So in my group of frds who were experimenting, I refrained because that inner voice told me it was wrong. Temptation was never there.

I too returned to an empty home every afternoon. There were days when the PT helper would be there. But I was pretty much on my own. Or I would stay back after sch and chat ard with frds and teachers while they were marking. I too, instead of being repulsed by the emptiness and hollowness of the house, embraced the positive aspects of it. In fact, I had a hard time initially, adjusting to living with my ILs cuz they are an extended family and there was absolutely no privacy at all ... cept in the bedroom 😄

I too had a frd who 'traded' for money ... at a young of 19. The last I know, she had just returned from the west after being a 'companion' to a guy much much older than her. And she also mentioned that she was being maintained at $2000 a mth. This was more than 10 yrs ago. Father was loaded and left her some inheritence when he passed on but she told me that she had squandered the money on shopping. She also slept with her best frd's boyfrd when she was supposed to look out for him when the former was overseas studying. To me, it seemed obvious to her that what she was doing was wrong ... but I supposed the 'cricket' sound wasn't loud enough for her ...

Just felt like sharing ...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/161208https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/161208Thu, 15 Apr 2010 09:58:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:11:55 GMT]]>And lastly, don't run down the morals of teens who go astray. It's not their fault, it's not their parents' fault. If want to blame, blame God for making us beautifully imperfect 🙂 It's the chemicals in their brain lah.


Many very successful people were also mentally ill, but they used their kooky brains to great advantage. Like my fav painter, Vincent Van Gogh 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160985https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160985Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:11:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:02:03 GMT]]>Ok, a long contentious thread about the causes of this social malaise where young people treat their bodies lightly. There is every good chance it's the manifestation of mental illness. Of course, there's also the chance it was a wrong judgement call on the part of the girl, a one-off situation....but we're looking for something constructive to come out of this discussion, right? 🙂


For those of us who know of someone struggling with mental illness such as depression, bipolar or some forms of OCD, please try my advice. Just try only, no harm will come out of it. At worse, there won't be any effect, at best, it will lead to a cure or some form of control. It won't work for schizo or other psychotic disorders.

1) See a psychiatrist and get medication. Medication is useful as a short-term gap solution, before the long-term cure kicks in.

2) Cut out all the carbohydrates in the diet. Carbohydrates and insulin surges have been shown to interfere with dopaine and serotonin reception, leading to mood swings and depression. No rice, pasta, bread, potato, noodles, biscuits, anything with sugar, sweet drinks. Replace with steaks, chicken, fish, eggs, vege. No fruits either.

IMH patients have been observed to have a strong addiction to carbohydrates. Don't believe, just go and volunteer and see for yourself.

3) Expose to strong sunshine for at least an hour a day. VitD tablets not the same. Melatonin production in the skin regulates mood and secretes chemicals that control the sleep cycle, balancing the chemicals that are usually out of control in mentally-ill patients.

4) Try to get the teen/patient to quit smoking, drugs, or alcohol. If impossible in the short term, nevermind, focus on other things first. Almost every IMH patient i know, has used/still using tobacco/alcohol/drugs. So does drug-use lead to mental illness, or do mental patients have a tendancy to use drugs? Research has shown that in the mentally ill, they have problems with dopamine production in the brain, and drugs stimulate that production and fill the gap.

This is also why it's so hard to motivate problem students. They all actually have a mild form of dopamine insufficiency. For normal kids, a sticker, praise or a sweet, is all that is needed to motivate them, for the sick ones, give them a condo also won't do their homework. Inherently, this is also the prob with lonely kids...no matter how much love we give them, it ain't enough, because they're sick and won't respond.

5) Remove all expectations, datelines. If they want to quit school, just let them quit for a year. Get their mental health back before they study. Health is more impt. Let their life be as stress-free as possible. Stress is another problem that causes teens to be become sick. Successful people are first and foremost healthy people. Improve mental health, u get better grades and more motivation.

6) Exercise to exhaustion every other day. Make sure they're so tired, they drop like flies. Nothing better than exercise to re-set all the chemicals in the brain.

7) Make sure they rise early, around 6 to 7am, and sleep early, around 10 pm daily. Everyday, including saturday, sunday, hari raya, xmas, cny, deepavali. Make it a way of life. Plan their daily activities. Make sure they're supervised, because if they end up in jail/boys home/girls home because of shoplifting or whatever, this rehab program would have to be stopped 😞

Using these methods, this is what i observed in teens who religiously follow my advice:

1) they stop their abusive relationships and actively seek out stable boyfriend/girlfriends. Weird huh, some changes in brain chemical can cause such a change!

2) They stop their addictions, whatever it is, sex, drugs, whatever. They're high on life now 🙂

3) They eventually stop their psychiatric medication.

4) They become motivated and show a big improvement in grades.

5) There is such a marked change in their personality and behaviour, even their parents were astounded. This is probably because they're no longer lonely, and do not do things only lonely people will do.

Lastly, I myself is testimony to great change. It's NOTHING TO DO WITH WILLPOWER OR MORALS. I used to take drugs, treat relationships lightly, join teen gangs, abuse alcohol, shoplift, as a teen. I was on psychiatric medication for many years, and at one point i stayed inside IMH for 3 weeks.

It's really ironic that just a few years ago, I went back to IMH as a volunteer!!! I still saw the same old faces in the ward i used to stay. Guess i was the only guy who made it out!!! And i'm no longer on medication, have a happy family and fulfilling life.

Maybe i should write a book and make money out of it LOL

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160974https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160974Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:02:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:31:31 GMT]]>

3Boys:

Example of starvation is hypothetical and a stretch to apply in this situation.
Maybe u r one of those who believe wearing sexy clothes will lead to rape? Or castration will \"cure\" rapists? Ah i know, u will say totally not related cases LOL

No need for apology, i wasn't offended at all!! U r blessed to have 3 normal kids. When u meet an abnormal one, u might wanna consult my views again. Cheers 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160944https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160944Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:31:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:28:25 GMT]]>

ks2me:
their motivation is greed for quick money and fame, i.e. looking for short-cuts to success and that can merely be hunger for materialism, not love. Can that stem from loneliness sickness?

It's easy to blame greed. A greedy person can be the one who reaches for just one more burger,even though he is full. Another \"greedy\" person is one who eats himself to obesity. Why such difference, when both are \"greedy\"? One is sick and one isn't.

Read recently in the news, of a hooker who was \"rescued\" by a millionaire, trying to change her life. She was offered money, education, basically everything a person can want for. In the end? She went back to sleeping around LOL.

Greed for money, fame, power, all stem from the need for human affection. We all want acknowledgement, we want affirmation. But for sick people, because they're pathologically ill, their need cannot be satisfied.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160941https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160941Thu, 15 Apr 2010 05:28:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:45:30 GMT]]>

skunk:
I have a plain and simple question to ask.


Let's say there's a famine. Your poor child is starving to death in your arms. There's a young man beside u with a piece of bread. He refuses to give it to u.

Will u rob him of his bread? Or will u watch your child die?

Our morals and values are real useful huh, when we are most in need, they are of no use at all!

These teens who betray their bodies, are the few minority living in very extreme conditions, different from what most of us can imagine. They are in an emotional famine, thus they will do uncharacteristic things, despite whatever values and morals they have been taught. Change the environment, and watch people's behaviour change. This applies both to these minority teens, as well as our own children. Talking and teaching high morals are still needed, but have very limited effect on behaviour.
Example of starvation is hypothetical and a stretch to apply in this situation.

As for the teens in question, you speak as if you know each an every one of them personally and know their backgrounds. You make it sound like a FACT they they were deprived of family. Its all your OWN speculation, nothing else, you know absolutely nothing about them but venture to offer as fact that they are starved of love and attention and it may well be the opposite.

It comes down to one, thing, the idea of morality as a force for driving behaviour, particularly sexual morality, sticks in your throat, and you are willing to use extreme examples, of limited context in this discussion, to illustrate a point. You've studiously avoided tackling the actual scenario at hand. The girls did not throw themselves sexually at the photograher. The hook in the ad was not 'come have sex with me', it was, 'make some money by being a model'. Your contention has nothing to stand on.


I think you are pretty robust in your writing and hadn't realised 'ridiculous' could offend. Par for the course, no apology from me this time.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160899https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160899Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:45:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:58:20 GMT]]>I have a plain and simple question to ask.


Let’s say there’s a famine. Your poor child is starving to death in your arms. There’s a young man beside u with a piece of bread. He refuses to give it to u.

Will u rob him of his bread? Or will u watch your child die?

Our morals and values are real useful huh, when we are most in need, they are of no use at all!

These teens who betray their bodies, are the few minority living in very extreme conditions, different from what most of us can imagine. They are in an emotional famine, thus they will do uncharacteristic things, despite whatever values and morals they have been taught. Change the environment, and watch people’s behaviour change. This applies both to these minority teens, as well as our own children. Talking and teaching high morals are still needed, but have very limited effect on behaviour.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160862https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160862Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:58:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:47:36 GMT]]>

EN:

Nope skunk, she's not lonely. This friend of mine can easily blend in with my relatives and school mates. I'm close to the family so I know parents are always there for her.
Loneliness can be hard to tell from the outside. Unless u r acutally \"your friend\" lol. In fact, people with sanguine personalities, particularly fall prey to emotional isolation. It's chicken and egg situation....lonely, so make many friends, but still can fill the void in the heart, so will get even more lonely in the throng of good friends.

What we can definitely tell is your friend is sick. Totally out of context behaviour. Classical symptom of a mental illness of some sort.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160856https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160856Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:47:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:41:47 GMT]]>

3Boys:
Plainly ridiculous.

thanks! that's real civil, speaks volumes about yourself lol

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160852https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160852Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:41:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:01:00 GMT]]>[quote]En, you mentioned that your family is not physically there for you . I'm curious to know what is the source of your individual strength to combat such temptations and influences?


Did your family play a part too?[/quote]Different child, different need. Not necessarily an empty house is a lonely house. There's no quarrels, there's food, clean comfortable place, a place to chill out. I'm not sure though if I come back home, house full of people, not giving me ample space and time for me to have my private moments, I think I'll go berserk.
[quote]Your friend's family was always physically around for her, most likely they loved her to bits too, but FOR HER, that wasn't enough, she was still lonely and insecure. [/quote][quote]However, the girls in this article, I am really not sure if they can be classified as sick because their motivation is greed for quick money and fame,[/quote]Nope skunk, she's not lonely. This friend of mine can easily blend in with my relatives and school mates. I'm close to the family so I know parents are always there for her. I treat her family like mine. So, her parents do take time to talk to us, chit chat and give us some space when we need our girls time.

Major issue is easy money and parents absolutely do not step in when they should. Me, why not tempted? I believe if I work hard one day, I will be able to get what my friend has then. Just a tad slower but at least I know I am not depending on anyone to buy it for me. It's more permanent that way.
[quote]Think some young girls sleep around not coz of lack of moral or value system but maybe due to 'overdose' of such. [/quote]Yes, I heard of such cases too. Too much moral and value system drilled into a child can be stifling.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160814https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160814Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:01:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 02:23:34 GMT]]>Skunk, I appreciate you for highlighting the impact of long-term loneliness on a person resulting in the uncharacteristic kind of behaviour. It is good for me now to be aware how extreme conditions can push a person to a corner and become sick in the mind. So the punishment of criminals are slowly moving away from this approach huh? Something new I learn.


However, the girls in this article, I am really not sure if they can be classified as sick because their motivation is greed for quick money and fame, i.e. looking for short-cuts to success and that can merely be hunger for materialism, not love. Can that stem from loneliness sickness? Maybe yes but generally no. I don’t fathom every case of easy trading of body favours is linked to this sickness stemming from loneliness.

However, point is taken that perhaps some cases are due to this but largely I would have to agree that the lack of guiding principles or the lack of that cricket in the mind that results in this phenomena becoming more rampant these days.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160755https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160755Thu, 15 Apr 2010 02:23:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:45:35 GMT]]>

skunk:
3Boys:


Do you discipline your children? Are you telling them right from wrong? What is that if not imparting your morals and values to your children, in the hope of modifying their future behaviour? No effect? Then why bother?Will you tell your daughter not to be promiscuous? If by your theory, our children already have morals and values, and all that is needed is parental presence, then you can be completely mum on it.

I have never said morality and values are not important. I merely said they have nothing to do with why teens sleep around. Kindly read and think carefully before rebutting the rock wall instead of me.

Cor, you're so funny...missing the barn door by a mile and not even realising it.

If you read the story carefully, those girls were not in search of companionship or sex, they were looking to earn some money or some fame by modelling. They did not jump the photographer and tear of his clothes on lustful impulse. This has absolutely NOTHING to do with loneliness.

They did however, at the mere suggestion and maybe some encouragement, strip down, and some eventually consented to intercourse. They did not have the moral compass to say, 'look, this is wrong'. Some eventually reported the guy to the police. That sound like a lovesick child in search of a protective figure? You must be delusional.

skunk:
I have never said morality and values are not important. I merely said they have nothing to do with why teens sleep around.
Morality is important but has nothing with why teens sleep around? :? Explain that to me one more time. If morality has nothing to do with why certain people will do certain things under certain circumstances, then what is morality for? People steal, but morality has nothing to do with why they steal, people have affairs, but oh, its nothing to do with morality, people build financial scams, but no, nothing to do with morality.

NONE of the teens who are promiscuous are so because they lack a moral compass? ALL of them did it because they were lonely? Plainly ridiculous.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160723https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160723Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:45:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:35:54 GMT]]>\"Hypersexuality, by itself, is a criterion symptom of hypomania and mania in bipolar disorder and mania in schizoaffective disorder as they are currently defined in the DSM.\"


American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (fourth edition, text revision). Washington, DC: Author.

99% of our kids are safe despite varying degrees of emotional isolation (loneliness) in our modern day society. Very few actually get really sick because of it. That said, this entire thread's discussion really is about those few who are really sick and sleep around. I think we should worry more about mild depression, rather than hypersexuality, for the average kid 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160715https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160715Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:35:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:14:24 GMT]]>

ks2me:
skunk:

i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.

So you mean criminals actually behave worser after they have been sent to jail to experience this solitary confinement? :?

Actually, YES!!! Thank u for bringing up such a good point. This has been the phenomena experienced worldwide. In fact I saw a study on it on a documentary on NatGeo channel...i think it's \"Inside\" or something...

That's why whenever possible, probation, community service, or other ways of punishment, have always been sought to reform people, rather than putting them in jail. It was showcased on the documentary, how many criminals actually suffered psychological damage in solitary confinement.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160697https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160697Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:14:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:11:53 GMT]]>I have lost count of the number of child and teen actors who abuse drugs, alcohol and sleep around. Even our very own Mavis Hee, who went berserk, is testimony to the power of loneliness, coupled with extreme stress. Many of our children are also in such a situation, lonely and stressed.


The young celebrities are always surrounded by people, by the media, by fans, but they’re lonely inside. Loneliness is not merely the need for someone to be physically around them, it’s emotional isolation on a deeper level.

These people who wreck their lives with destructive behaviour, need therapy, possibly medication, and definitely need a change in lifestyle. Morality, religion and values, is for guiding the action of normal people. Sick people need to see a doctor, not a priest.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160694https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160694Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:11:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:11:03 GMT]]>

skunk:
i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.

So you mean criminals actually behave worser after they have been sent to jail to experience this solitary confinement? :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160693https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160693Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:11:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:04:06 GMT]]>

3Boys:

Do you discipline your children? Are you telling them right from wrong? What is that if not imparting your morals and values to your children, in the hope of modifying their future behaviour? No effect? Then why bother?Will you tell your daughter not to be promiscuous? If by your theory, our children already have morals and values, and all that is needed is parental presence, then you can be completely mum on it.
I have never said morality and values are not important. I merely said they have nothing to do with why teens sleep around. Kindly read and think carefully before rebutting the rock wall instead of me.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160685https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160685Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:04:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:56:59 GMT]]>

EN:
Share with you all about real life friends.


Don't talk about kids these days. These happen back then when I was growing up.

If you talk about lonely child growing up, I'm one of them. Father outstation, my mum stretched herself from morning till midnight from working in a factory to housework. One elder sister, different school different session. The house always empty. Yet, nothing happen. I embrace the solitude at home. It's a place I cherished most. So private, so warm, so secure.
Your parents were only not physically with u, but u were not lonely. U knew deep inside they would be there for u if u ever needed them. Loneliness and insecurity is the key.

Your friend's family was always physically around for her, most likely they loved her to bits too, but FOR HER, that wasn't enough, she was still lonely and insecure.

Different children need different levels of security. Different children can tolerate different levels of loneliness before such psychological stress causes behavioural damage.

U were able to withstand the temptation of \"excitement\", simply because u were not lonely and insecure, despite your parents not being physically around, and that's not because of your superhuman willpower or value system. Willpower is important, i've never denied it. Values are important, i've never said not. But they are over-rated. If ANYONE thinks their willpower and values are supreme in dictating their behaviour, i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.

The environment is far more important in influencing behaviour. In this particular case, values and morality really has nothing to do with it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160682https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160682Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:56:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why teens and young adults trade so easily? on Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:25:19 GMT]]>

EN:
Share with you all about real life friends.


Don't talk about kids these days. These happen back then when I was growing up.

If you talk about lonely child growing up, I'm one of them. Father outstation, my mum stretched herself from morning till midnight from working in a factory to housework. One elder sister, different school different session. The house always empty. Yet, nothing happen. I embrace the solitude at home. It's a place I cherished most. So private, so warm, so secure.

My friend that was involved in the flesh trade grew up in a loving family. She was my neighbour. We spent time playing daily after school. Parents gave her the best upbringing. Clean home, mother working part time, spent time with us going out shopping, home cook food etc.

How did it happen? We went to different secondary school. Bad school peers, she was kicked out after she ran away from home at secondary 2. She started working when she reached 15 years old. From sales girl (with pittance pay) and with peer influence, she move on to become GRO. She was lured by branded goods from clothing, to bags, to shoes and exotic places to travel at the young age of 17.

She was still my close friend at that time. Was I influenced and lured by those \"excitement\". Even at my darkest moment, I'm rooted to my ground. I was human after all. I felt jealous back then that her life then was easy. But the thought disgust me.

The strange thing was, when I slept over at her place (she was out working) she came back at 3 am smelling of cigarettes and uhggg... don't want to mention. I was puzzled, how could the parents not scold her when she's smelling like that. How could the parents not question her on her purchasing power. Money makes the parents blind as well?

I guess it all boils down to individual strength on moral values.
En, you mentioned that your family is not physically there for you . I'm curious to know what is the source of your individual strength to combat such temptations and influences?

Did your family play a part too?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160663https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/160663Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:25:19 GMT