<![CDATA[Strained Relationship with parents]]>I know how you feel. That’s why you want to be a good mil and treat your future sil as your son. Understand…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/102037/strained-relationship-with-parentsRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 00:23:41 GMTSat, 18 Jun 2022 06:14:52 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Sat, 18 Jun 2022 06:05:11 GMT]]>

Zeal mummy\" post_id=\"2070803\" time=\"1655531579\" user_id=\"58173:[quote=\"Zeal mummy\" post_id=2070803 time=1655531579 user_id=58173]
I guess having a home on your own helps a lot. We are very fortunate![/quote]
Yes that's right..I just feel mil don't love/like me. Out of respect I don't argue with her..so we don't talk much..hmm but after her passing..whenever I think of it, I feel that whatever it is, I should be filial to her la..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070809https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070809Sat, 18 Jun 2022 06:05:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Sat, 18 Jun 2022 05:52:59 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2070732\" time=\"1655462086\" user_id=\"43981:

Yes definitely less..guess coz many newlyweds dont stay together anymore. Advantage of smaller home..
I guess having a home on your own helps a lot. We are very fortunate!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070803https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070803Sat, 18 Jun 2022 05:52:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Sat, 18 Jun 2022 05:01:49 GMT]]>I tell myself try not to interfere in the youngsters marriage…I want to treat my sil (if I ever have) as my own son…think too early arh lol.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070781https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070781Sat, 18 Jun 2022 05:01:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Sat, 18 Jun 2022 04:53:21 GMT]]>Somehow my mum had a very good relationship with grandma and all my dad’s siblings. I would even go as far as to say that if not for my mum, we would not be as close as we are with our paternal relatives. Unfortunately, I did not inherit her grace in this aspect. Anyways, it takes 2 to clap, if grandma had not been a fair MIL, I don’t think mum would have such a good relationship with her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070779https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070779Sat, 18 Jun 2022 04:53:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 12:24:07 GMT]]>The woman “last time” also make their own living…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070737https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070737Fri, 17 Jun 2022 12:24:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:49:18 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2070732\" time=\"1655462086\" user_id=\"43981:

Yes definitely less..guess coz many newlyweds dont stay together anymore. Advantage of smaller home..
Women now can work and can earn a living and no need to fully depend on husband for money so ....no need to listen to MIL. 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070734https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070734Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:49:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:34:46 GMT]]>

Zeal mummy\" post_id=\"2070687\" time=\"1655440647\" user_id=\"58173:[quote=\"Zeal mummy\" post_id=2070687 time=1655440647 user_id=58173]
My mum used to tell me sad stories about how her mil would torment her with chores and that my aunts (mil’s daughters) will sit around to watch tv while she has to do all the housework. Even thought she had to work full time and has children to care for too. I guess in the past, it is pretty common. These days we are seeing less?[/quote]
Yes definitely less..guess coz many newlyweds dont stay together anymore. Advantage of smaller home..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070732https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070732Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:34:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:31:03 GMT]]>

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2070661\" time=\"1655420447\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2070661 time=1655420447 user_id=195250]
Why yr MIL disliked you?? :?[/quote]
I just guess..sharing son ba ..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070731https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070731Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:31:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 07:01:10 GMT]]>

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2070689\" time=\"1655441616\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2070689 time=1655441616 user_id=53606]
Still see it in Korean dramas :evil:[/quote]
Haha, yes but drama is drama.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070705https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070705Fri, 17 Jun 2022 07:01:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:53:36 GMT]]>

Zeal mummy\" post_id=\"2070687\" time=\"1655440647\" user_id=\"58173:[quote=\"Zeal mummy\" post_id=2070687 time=1655440647 user_id=58173]
My mum used to tell me sad stories about how her mil would torment her with chores and that my aunts (mil’s daughters) will sit around to watch tv while she has to do all the housework. Even thought she had to work full time and has children to care for too. I guess in the past, it is pretty common. These days we are seeing less?[/quote]
Still see it in Korean dramas :evil:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070689https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070689Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:53:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:37:27 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2070610\" time=\"1655354755\" user_id=\"43981:

I don't think my mom has any frustration in life..through her life I see how a person can be forced to become so strong and later can become so 'di,.ea' want be pampered.

My mil was a strong woman too.. and she disliked me alot.
My mum used to tell me sad stories about how her mil would torment her with chores and that my aunts (mil’s daughters) will sit around to watch tv while she has to do all the housework. Even thought she had to work full time and has children to care for too. I guess in the past, it is pretty common. These days we are seeing less?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070687https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070687Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:37:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 23:00:47 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2070610\" time=\"1655354755\" user_id=\"43981:


My mil was a strong woman too.. and she disliked me alot.
Why yr MIL disliked you?? :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070661https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070661Thu, 16 Jun 2022 23:00:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:49:49 GMT]]>Actually I m talking fm my my own experience …a very different ppl…not all are the same.


I feel that those who have gone through very tough time with own parents… the feeling must be very unpleasant…I also feel that we can feel what we think we should feel coz the hurt only we ownself can measure…outsiders cant feel it 100%. So really no right or wrong…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070611https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070611Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:49:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:45:55 GMT]]>I don’t think my mom has any frustration in life…through her life I see how a person can be forced to become so strong and later can become so ‘di,.ea’ want be pampered.


My mil was a strong woman too… and she disliked me alot.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070610https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070610Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:45:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:42:14 GMT]]>Hahahaha I know my mom had a bitter life under my grandma’s watch so she was always frustrated with life and took it out on us. Back then, I didn’t understand. Now I learned to accept.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070608https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070608Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:42:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:39:04 GMT]]>

Sun_2010\" post_id=\"2070601\" time=\"1655349066\" user_id=\"18393:


Hoping you all heal, and move on :grphug:
Thank you Sun for your encouragement. 无言感激.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070607https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070607Thu, 16 Jun 2022 04:39:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 03:57:40 GMT]]>Actually try to think from the side of the parents and why do they behave in a certain way. Was livelihood hard back then? Were they under a lot of financial pressures? How about those stoid and traditional beliefs that girls are made to work and service the husband and that boys shouldn’t do housework at all …and sons should be the pride of the family and not daughters…sometimes maybe the parents are none the wiser esp if they are not very much educated …its been so long and if you are living well, I would suggest living out the parents twilight years with benevolence…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070605https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070605Thu, 16 Jun 2022 03:57:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Thu, 16 Jun 2022 03:11:06 GMT]]>To those of us who had \"normal\" parents, it is hard to understand how much children of narcissistic parents suffer,


A parent's love is unconditional, a parent wants the best for his/her child, a parent will go to great lengths for the happiness of a child -- that is what we like to believe. Not all, and not always.

And it is really sad - cos children deserve love, and support -- someone to believe in then even when no one else will.

So Winth, Liew and MissyYJ, that you have overcome this is an accomplishment, a great one. To have been belittled, gaslit and always made to feel less worthy by the very people who should love you the most , that can damage one's persona. Even thru these trouble , winth, you look at the silver lining of how it has made you a strong person, that is such a positive attitude!

Our foremost responsibility is to love ourselves, and take care of ourselves and if dealing with parents is hurting you, making you relive the childhood pain, then by all means distance yourselves , draw boundaries and fiercely protect yourselves. And dont feel guilty about it. You are doing the right thing.

Hoping you all heal, and move on :grphug:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070601https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070601Thu, 16 Jun 2022 03:11:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Wed, 15 Jun 2022 10:01:02 GMT]]>

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2070565\" time=\"1655286413\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2070565 time=1655286413 user_id=195250]
You may not able to understand as you are not the victims.[/quote]
Yea probably...some can be quite hurtful.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070568https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070568Wed, 15 Jun 2022 10:01:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Wed, 15 Jun 2022 09:46:53 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2070562\" time=\"1655285705\" user_id=\"43981:

I would just like to add...however much we disliked a person, after end of their days..we may miss them and thinking back..everything seems to be not necessary.
You may not able to understand as you are not the victims.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070565https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070565Wed, 15 Jun 2022 09:46:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Wed, 15 Jun 2022 09:35:05 GMT]]>I would just like to add…however much we disliked a person, after end of their days…we may miss them and thinking back…everything seems to be not necessary.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070562https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070562Wed, 15 Jun 2022 09:35:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Wed, 15 Jun 2022 02:10:49 GMT]]>Hi winth, your experience resonates so much with me (it is v comforting to know that I am not alone, so glad I found this thread).

Thanks Liew for your sharing too.
This thread is good support and sharing for those of us who suffers from toxic parents, for years, with no end in sight. And we have no choice but to recognise it, accept it and begin our personal healing journey.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070534https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2070534Wed, 15 Jun 2022 02:10:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Strained Relationship with parents on Fri, 20 May 2022 07:38:03 GMT]]>

MissyYJ\" post_id=\"2058380\" time=\"1644707396\" user_id=\"196034:

Hi everyone, I’m pretty new here and I would like to seek opinions from all the parents here.

My relationship with both of my parents has been strained for years, and to the extent it has already reached the breaking point this year. Due to the fact that I had a couple of falls in the last decade, I wasn’t able to hold a full time job. I was only able to be self-sufficient.

My parents made me feel that I’m not good enough for them as they have publicly humiliated me be it in front my neighbours, my relatives - making comments like I’m useless because I cannot even work a 9-5 job, my mum actually thinks that NA students are useless and that I will never even make the cut for good O level results , as such she always doubted my abilities way back when I was in secondary school. My mum put the needs of others above me most of the time. Even when I’m sick, she insisted on going out for her CNY visitations and I went out alone to seek treatment on my own.
This is just to name a few.

I’m putting this out not to rant, but to ask if I’m really asking too much from my parents, or I should say am I really a useless person like what they had said to others?

I put myself through college without their help after I left the polytechnic as I was posted to a science course that I wasn’t interested in.
Yes I know I wasn’t able to give them allowance because I wasn’t earning enough.


Thanks for reading my post. I’m lost for words now. Any advices or opinions is appreciated.
You're definitely not asking too much from your parents because the primary thing children need when growing up — actually what humans need in life, in genral — is love. To be loved and to feel loved, especially by the people we're surrounded with, mainly those who are raising us. Whether they're our biological parents or not.

I think you're actually quite impressive to have raised yourself quite well despite the circumstances you were facing.

Though I do think with time and some space, you may (hopefully) find it in yourself to forgive your parents. Forgiveness is not just for them, it's actually for you too. So you can fully move on with your life.

Hope all the best for you.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068127https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068127Fri, 20 May 2022 07:38:03 GMT