<![CDATA[Discipline]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2068088\" time=\"1653008895\" user_id=\"43981:

Frankly..I didn't know it can be so serious as in 'telling' your friend abt the qn..I just imagine it could be just a 'friend' talk and it kinda leaked a little bit during your recess chit chat or what?..if there are more than 1 session of (important) exam for students. Shouldn't they separate the students?
For (Psle, O-level, A-level) English and Chinese Oral, if morning & afternoon National exam got two different sessions, schools won't let students mix, nor bump into one another.

But if is internal school Term tests or exam, they won't bother to separate out the different session students. Perhaps, school Teachers can give gentle reminder to students not to leak out any exam qn, just before the students leave the classroom or school hall. Remind students that if
they refuse to comply to school rules, be prepared to face disciplinary action meted out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/102565/disciplineRSS for NodeFri, 01 May 2026 07:05:49 GMTFri, 20 May 2022 08:24:34 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 01:35:29 GMT]]>

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2068087\" time=\"1653008496\" user_id=\"3:

Dear PsMom, I can understand the frustration you must have gone through managing your teenager. I agree the punishment is harsh, but I also agree that it will be difficult to leave someone who is not trustworthy in a leadership role.

I'm not sure if a period suspension of duties as the \"captain of the team\" will do the trick, as someone else would become captain in the meantime so it will be difficult to change that. Perhaps what can be done is for your son to think about the seriousness of what he has done, accept the consequences, and sincerely repent. Then he can compete for the captainship again with the full trust of the school. That is what I think the school should allow, and not simply a permanent ban.

We all make mistakes when we are young, and to learn from them, we must accept the consequences of our mistakes. Your son is an excellent student, and might have thought nothing of the consequences of telling others about the test questions. Fortunately he is caught, and he must learn the consequences of what he has done.
Thanks ! This is what we were proposing to the school. But looks like the discipline master has issues of her own to handle. A DM who starts shaking in anger when you propose something different than what they are saying , is not the right person to be the Student Manager in my opinion, specially handling teenagers.
If she could slap me in the face, she would have done that ! But she could not , SO she started shaking in anger, her voice shook and she literally threw the paper in my hand to sign.
Thank you all for your valuable opinions. While I know I my son is a good boy and I am a good mother, I realize good people do mistakes too. I have some great suggestions here that I will work with. As always, appreciative of this community.
As for those who threw lemons my way, I'll make a lemonade out of it, so thank you for your criticism too 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068093https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068093Fri, 20 May 2022 01:35:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 01:18:27 GMT]]>Looks like we all agree that cheating is wrong.


The question here seems to be whether the student can still lead the soccer team as a captain. The school thinks not. The likely reason is that the moral authority to lead the team is diminished if the other team members know about the incident and not revenge since there is no real reason for that. Since you were asking if the punishment suits the crime, for me, personally the answer is yes.

However, you did mention other factors like self-harm, etc. None of the anonymous people on this forum has the insights or details about you, your son, the school, the actual details of the crime itself and if there are other factors that were left out. Self-harm implies stress and mental well-being so if you really feel so strong about it, feel free to go talk to the school to work out a solution.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068092https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068092Fri, 20 May 2022 01:18:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 01:13:13 GMT]]>I just imagine it is now a difficult period for the child…we got to try to reassure the child that it is not the end of the road. Just some difficulties along the way that allow him to learn more…don’t only look at the bad side…who knows the child may learn an important lesson in life and able to soar higher later in his life.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068090https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068090Fri, 20 May 2022 01:13:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 01:08:15 GMT]]>Frankly…I didn’t know it can be so serious as in ‘telling’ your friend abt the qn…I just imagine it could be just a ‘friend’ talk and it kinda leaked a little bit during your recess chit chat or what?..if there are more than 1 session of (important) exam for students. Shouldn’t they separate the students?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068088https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068088Fri, 20 May 2022 01:08:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 01:01:36 GMT]]>

PsMom\" post_id=\"2068078\" time=\"1653006228\" user_id=\"178612:

Govt service for 24 years ? How can you compare a 15 year old to a 40 year old ? Does adulthood equate to teenage? Then why are the teenagers made out to be such a big deal? Why have the psychologists written books about how to deal with them? And a job in public eye where you are being paid public money for your salary, is same as a captain of a small school team? How can you compare the punishment from one to another?
Is this how we deal with people in one of the most sensitive stages of their lives? Has pandemic tauught us nothing? What happened at River Valley school was a first of its kind, in Singapore, right? Why did it happen? Doesn't looks like anyone learnt anything from the event, just suppressed it as a one time thing?
Dear PsMom, I can understand the frustration you must have gone through managing your teenager. I agree the punishment is harsh, but I also agree that it will be difficult to leave someone who is not trustworthy in a leadership role.

I'm not sure if a period suspension of duties as the \"captain of the team\" will do the trick, as someone else would become captain in the meantime so it will be difficult to change that. Perhaps what can be done is for your son to think about the seriousness of what he has done, accept the consequences, and sincerely repent. Then he can compete for the captainship again with the full trust of the school. That is what I think the school should allow, and not simply a permanent ban.

We all make mistakes when we are young, and to learn from them, we must accept the consequences of our mistakes. Your son is an excellent student, and might have thought nothing of the consequences of telling others about the test questions. Fortunately he is caught, and he must learn the consequences of what he has done.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068087https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068087Fri, 20 May 2022 01:01:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:53:38 GMT]]>

PsMom\" post_id=\"2068080\" time=\"1653006582\" user_id=\"178612:

A one time mistake does not make a child bad and a parent useless. Second chances are fair, specially when the offender does not even fully understand the consequence of what they did. Like another mom said here, Schools are supposed to be 'safe' places. They certainly are the ones to be used as weapons to kill the kid's spirit to live or scar them forver.
You have not explained what your child's thoughts were while he commited those offences? Did he know that he was not supposed to do those things, and that some transgressions are considered more serious than others? He may not have realised the full consequences of his actions, but if he knew that he should not have done this, it does show a lack of respect for rules. And by Sec 3, it should be assumed that he realises that any cheating in tests is considered as a very serious offence. Has he deliberately disregarded rules before? All these will be taken in account when deciding on penalties. If he can truly say that he did not know that it was wrong, he could possibly appeal, but I think most of the penalties will still have to stand.

I think the penalties imposed by the school are fair, however painful to your son. They cannot be seen to take such things lightly, including allowing him to continue in a leadership position. The message sent to all the other students would be that \"you can always transgress once without much penalty\". Yes, there should be second chances, and a one-time mistake/transgression does not make him a 'bad' child, but I think the second chance will have to 'earned' again by future conduct. In his case, as his time in this school is short, the second chance will have to earned in his next school.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068084https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068084Fri, 20 May 2022 00:53:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:50:59 GMT]]>Let’s chill and do not extrapolate. We can keep it at ‘a 15 y/o does not understand the consequences of his "well-intentions" to help his friend out who did not study?’. We all have done 'bad things when growing up right? Who never steal candy from mama shop before? At 17, I even openly scratched an obnoxious girl’s locker at school and tore off her idol poster on her locker just because I hated her guts…it doesn’t mean I am a bad person now.i was just having serious teenage angst issues amidst all the hard/metal rock songs that I was exposed to.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068083https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068083Fri, 20 May 2022 00:50:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:43:45 GMT]]>

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2068079\" time=\"1653006529\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2068079 time=1653006529 user_id=195250]
Cheating is an offence, for whatever reasons behind, it is Wrong. The boy is given chances as the school is not kicking him out of the school, he can continue his study but only remove his captaincy. The school has to do so to \"kill one to warn a hundred\" - to emphasis to all students - Cheating is not acceptable.

In my opinion, if the parents appeal to the school - showing the parents are not aware the important of Integrity and unwilling to admit the serious of their kids misconduct.[/quote]
Cheating is wrong and he was punished in multiple ways- by downgrading his grade for conduct, by suspension and by getting 0 on exam he cheated on. Stripping him of captaincy sounds like a 'revenge' seeking to me. I wonder if someone else would have been given a lighter slap on wrist like detention, community service or such for a first time offence . No warning?? No counseling? Straight Stripping of leadership? Does that happen in your office? Employees straight away fired and shamed? Not even a warning ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068082https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068082Fri, 20 May 2022 00:43:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:36:07 GMT]]>Your son has leadership potential. What he chooses to do with those leadership skills is important to society isnt it? Lead others to do bad or do good?


There is no honor or respect for a soccer team if they win thru eg match fixing or dubious means. I hope he can learn that respect and admiration from others can be earned thru good ways. He doesnt have to resort to leaking qns.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068081https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068081Fri, 20 May 2022 00:36:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:29:42 GMT]]>

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2068070\" time=\"1653000230\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2068070 time=1653000230 user_id=53606]
I agree with LNW above. It is a major offence in any school or organization’s rule book (see example here: https://teckwhyesec.moe.edu.sg/students/rules-guidance-and-procedure/school-rules-and-regulations/minor-and-major-offences/)

More importantly consider it a chance to reflect on why it was morally wrong of him to do so (u do not seem to have emphasized this to him). Correct it now before adulthood please. Look at the ones named & shamed for cheating in the bar exam. I wouldnt trust them with my money anytime.[/quote]
Please. I didnt ask for a judgement on my parenting style so keep your opinions about what I said to him or emphasized to him, to yourself .
I thought this was a safe community to come and ask questions. I was not asking for opinions on parenting. A one time mistake does not make a child bad and a parent useless. Second chances are fair, specially when the offender does not even fully understand the consequence of what they did. Like another mom said here, Schools are supposed to be 'safe' places. They certainly are the ones to be used as weapons to kill the kid's spirit to live or scar them forver.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068080https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068080Fri, 20 May 2022 00:29:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:28:49 GMT]]>Cheating is an offence, for whatever reasons behind, it is Wrong. The boy is given chances as the school is not kicking him out of the school, he can continue his study but only remove his captaincy. The school has to do so to "kill one to warn a hundred" - to emphasis to all students - Cheating is not acceptable.


In my opinion, if the parents appeal to the school - showing the parents are not aware the important of Integrity and unwilling to admit the serious of their kids misconduct.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068079https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068079Fri, 20 May 2022 00:28:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Fri, 20 May 2022 00:23:48 GMT]]>

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2068064\" time=\"1652978059\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2068064 time=1652978059 user_id=195250]
Hi PsMom,
It is a question of how you define the word \" Integrity\" and \"Cheating \". To me, \"Cheating\" is a serious offence and as a captain or a leader, there are some essential or basic requirements on their personality and Integrity is a MUST.

I am very sorry to say that, but I have been working for the Government more than twenty four years and we know there is 0 tolerance of any form of cheating in our working place and I experienced a few colleagues were terminated on spot because of some forms of dishonest behaviour.

How to lead a group or how the other classmates will listen to a captain or leader when they know the captain/leader may cheat?

Since what has happened had happened, just ask your DS to take it as a lesson and never never commit any dishonest behaviour again.

If the counsellor think that your DS need more counselling, he/she may arrange another visit for your DS.

I understand the scars on your DS cannot be disappeared tomorrow, but we can look at it from another angle, your DS has learnt the serious consequences of cheating and he will NOT do it again for the rest of his life.[/quote]
Govt service for 24 years ? How can you compare a 15 year old to a 40 year old ? Does adulthood equate to teenage? Then why are the teenagers made out to be such a big deal? Why have the psychologists written books about how to deal with them? And a job in public eye where you are being paid public money for your salary, is same as a captain of a small school team? How can you compare the punishment from one to another?
Is this how we deal with people in one of the most sensitive stages of their lives? Has pandemic tauught us nothing? What happened at River Valley school was a first of its kind, in Singapore, right? Why did it happen? Doesn't looks like anyone learnt anything from the event, just suppressed it as a one time thing?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068078https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068078Fri, 20 May 2022 00:23:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Thu, 19 May 2022 23:47:01 GMT]]>I am not working in a school but while cheating is undesirable, I am always under the impression that school is a forgiving place and a place where you can afford to make mistakes, learn and move on being a better person. I don’t think we should equate it to a workplace or external envnmt where there are no second chances.

In this case, he did not cheat per se. He was just being ignorant of the consequences of revealing the exam questions/answers to his friends. It could be done in jest, it could be done for various reasons (ask him) .Ultimately he did not benefit at all so why should the punishment be so harsh. I think what you can do here is to appeal to the school not to remove his captaincy as it meant the world to him and to show his remorse, perhaps get your son to acknowledge his "moment of folly" in a heartfelt letter, promise nvr to do again and to accept any other forms of punishment that would be meted out. Good luck in your appeal.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068073https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068073Thu, 19 May 2022 23:47:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Thu, 19 May 2022 23:41:35 GMT]]>Nowadays, in sec school, there are weighted assessment which are take home work. Wonder if school fully explains what students can and cannot do and the differences among, tests/exams, take home work and project work which are weighted. Will teenagers get mixed up?

In our era, we do not have so many different types of assessment.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068072https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068072Thu, 19 May 2022 23:41:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Thu, 19 May 2022 22:43:50 GMT]]>I agree with LNW above. It is a major offence in any school or organization’s rule book (see example here: https://teckwhyesec.moe.edu.sg/students/rules-guidance-and-procedure/school-rules-and-regulations/minor-and-major-offences/)


More importantly consider it a chance to reflect on why it was morally wrong of him to do so (u do not seem to have emphasized this to him). Correct it now before adulthood please. Look at the ones named & shamed for cheating in the bar exam. I wouldnt trust them with my money anytime.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068070https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068070Thu, 19 May 2022 22:43:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Discipline on Thu, 19 May 2022 16:34:19 GMT]]>

PsMom\" post_id=\"2068063\" time=\"1652973996\" user_id=\"178612:

Do you think the student leaders are stripped off of their leadership positions for such 'crimes' ? Also, do you think a one time visit with counselor is enough to take care of scars this would leave?
Any thought on how to proceed on this are welcome !!
Hi PsMom,
It is a question of how you define the word \" Integrity\" and \"Cheating \". To me, \"Cheating\" is a serious offence and as a captain or a leader, there are some essential or basic requirements on their personality and Integrity is a MUST.

I am very sorry to say that, but I have been working for the Government more than twenty four years and we know there is 0 tolerance of any form of cheating in our working place and I experienced a few colleagues were terminated on spot because of some forms of dishonest behaviour.

How to lead a group or how the other classmates will listen to a captain or leader when they know the captain/leader may cheat?

Since what has happened had happened, just ask your DS to take it as a lesson and never never commit any dishonest behaviour again.

If the counsellor think that your DS need more counselling, he/she may arrange another visit for your DS.

I understand the scars on your DS cannot be disappeared tomorrow, but we can look at it from another angle, your DS has learnt the serious consequences of cheating and he will NOT do it again for the rest of his life.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068064https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2068064Thu, 19 May 2022 16:34:19 GMT