<![CDATA[How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years]]>

pokoyoko\" post_id=\"2083132\" time=\"1663852630\" user_id=\"122014:

Apologies for the late reply. Things have been busy. I think because it's an ang mo system... I THINK short trucks are those we see in Singapore that deliver food or furniture. Long trucks are probably those that carry containers! đŸ€·
No worries! Thank you for replying and hope you’re having a great week! tgif!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/102890/how-to-study-hard-and-still-enjoy-childhood-teens-yearsRSS for NodeTue, 28 Apr 2026 00:38:49 GMTThu, 22 Sep 2022 15:49:35 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:17:10 GMT]]>

Zeal mummy\" post_id=\"2079719\" time=\"1661421533\" user_id=\"58173:[quote=\"Zeal mummy\" post_id=2079719 time=1661421533 user_id=58173]
Sorry I laughed. Does the short and long truck drivers know that they are being discriminated against by their height? Lol. Just kidding. We’re they referring to a small/big truck?[/quote]
Apologies for the late reply. Things have been busy. I think because it's an ang mo system... I THINK short trucks are those we see in Singapore that deliver food or furniture. Long trucks are probably those that carry containers! đŸ€·

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2083132https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2083132Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:17:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sun, 04 Sep 2022 01:34:39 GMT]]>Since parents play important roles in this subject, it will be beneficial if parents have balance perspectives, to make wiser decisions. It can also help parents deal with their own life challenges too.


This meditation technique shows us how we are driven, and how non balance drives cause unhappiness. This technique is non sectarian, just like Yoga.

Read how it works:
https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/art

Read about CNA reporter experience learning this technique:
https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/wellness/inside-10-day-silent-meditation-camp-singapore-vipassana-sarimbun-scout-camp-325641

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080975https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080975Sun, 04 Sep 2022 01:34:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sat, 03 Sep 2022 23:33:24 GMT]]>There is no one size fit all solutions. We all know the pitfalls of either ends of the spectrum, from children left totally on their own because parents are to busy or occupied with making ends meet or pursuing their own purpose, to children left without their own choices and made to follow every step given to them, in the name of pursuing excellence and be the best.


My child has not grown up, so I have no answer. Still seeking. But we have to first acknowledge; parents cannot find the purpose on children’s behalf. It is their own purposes to seek. When do we seek, why do we seek and how, some faiths teach us to ask ourselves, who I am, why am I here, what and how do I live for? I recall children had to write journals on an exercise book in lower primary. Usual topics would be, I, e,g. what do I want to be when I grow up.

I know a boy, he started to use recycled materials to create and make since young, in pre-sch, without adults’ interference, all on his own. Doesn’t do so well in school subjects. Parents have to accept that. It seems like this boy has found his purpose/passion. How did he find it? How did his parents help their boy to find it? I can only say, his parents knew he may not be suitable for A levels, and likely have to consider polytechnic. He learns through using his hands and visualise easily but not the type to learn through reading. He is likely to do engineering. Parents invested in EV3, robotics and motors and connectors upon his requests. To support his interest. Just being there and not judging. How to motivate him to still study hard? Parents explained, he would still need to use English to write the manual on the robots he builds in the future so that more people understand his ideas and know how to use the robots.

To the child, he may not understand the need to study English, memorise grammar rules etc. It is our job to show our children why he needs to study; to build his basic skills in communication from English, acquiring knowledge from Science, calculate and using operations in Mathematics, etc. Boy nodded, though he said, “English is my least favourite subject but I will put in effort now.” To know the child and understands him is important too.

For children who are still seeking, mine too, parents also have to accept them for who they are. They are still seeking, finding out about themselves, their strengths and weaknesses. The point is, how many of us have found our purpose? How many of us are still doing the same career as our first degree? Many adults are still seeking. Out of 10 who graduated from Accounting, only 1 or 2 still remain in the profession. My friend in 50s just switch job recently.
Currently, I am trying to influence my child through daily interactions. Even watch Kdrama with her to expose her to different professions. May not work, but just taking it as a family bonding time, can discuss the issues and topics surfaced.

Please do share more ideas too 😃

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080971https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080971Sat, 03 Sep 2022 23:33:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sat, 03 Sep 2022 13:41:39 GMT]]>Parents can lead by example. Whether one is a stay-at-home-parent or a full-time-working-parent, more likely than not, our children learn how to find purpose and motivation in their own lives by looking at us.


A SAHM or SAHP might have the best intentions when they gave up their careers and devote themselves fully to the kids’ growing up phase. But the outcome may not be what he/she expects. I recall this story told to me by one SAHP - since she has left her job to help her child in the psle preparations, she was so ashamed of herself because of her child’s “dismal” psle results (a good result in my opinion) that she locked herself in her room for 3 days. This inevitably put pressure on herself and her young child. When a parent doesn’t have their own goals and the child’s results and achievement become an affirmation of the parent’s identity, their judgement gets clouded, especially when someone else’s child is doing better than their own. The worst is when they start to compare and judge what is “good” or “bad” with their somewhat outdated notion of success, having not had much exposure in their limited social circle and worldly views. When the ultimate goal is not the child’s and the child can’t see the purpose, the child loses direction.

A FTWP might have their own goals at work. But if that goal is only for the money or for the family and the parent doesn’t look like they are enjoying what they are doing, it might also give their children a wrong idea about the purpose of learning. Whether a parent has done well in their own academic studies and ended up with a “good” job but doesn’t look like they enjoy it, or a parent who felt that he/she didn’t study hard enough back then and ended up with a “lesser” job and being disgruntled about it, both scenarios might end up giving a wrong impression to the children.

Just like how a well balanced diet will help one grow well, personalIy I think in order to provide a well balanced “diet” of studies, rest, play and stress to our children, we parents need to be well balanced ourselves first. KSPs would want to do our best in nurturing our children, otherwise we won’t even bother to read up on parenting articles or follow pages and pages of forum chats. We can do our “job” well as a parent only if we keep learning to improve ourselves too, and show our children how to find meaning and purpose. Find a hobby, find something we like to do, show them how we work hard to achieve our goals and how we relax and how we handle stress. We also have to learn to grow with our children, so that we can support and interact with them at the various stages of their lives.

:rahrah:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080954https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080954Sat, 03 Sep 2022 13:41:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sat, 03 Sep 2022 11:07:34 GMT]]>This forum is to share ideas, listening to each other views on the subject. Purpose/motivation has been identified as the solution. Maybe could proceed next step: how to help our child find their purpose/motivation. Some parents have shared some “how to” on previous posts. More other how to ideas are welcome

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080948https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080948Sat, 03 Sep 2022 11:07:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sat, 03 Sep 2022 05:26:00 GMT]]>if studying is what the child is enjoying, it would not be a chore or something to do or die. If finding out about the science in the world is their enjoyment, everyday would be part of their carefree childhood. Came across kids in the past, they did share in class with friends and teachers, they do enjoy studying and looking forward to school, find school holidays too boring. If children found something else other than studying more fulfilling, then it would be hard to change, parents may have to accept, explain how studying would be still beneficial even if they choose to go on alternative pathways.


Learning a musical instrument require hours of practice everyday, but if the child finds peace and pleasure in learning and picking up new techniques, that ecstacy comes from fulfilling their potential, find a place, a purpose. Knowing the application and why they are studying for, would help those who has yet to find treseaure in studying.

A girl in sec 3, in top girls school, asked her mum, SAHM, why study so hard if ultimately family would be higher priority for women to stay home to care for their children.

If child without purpose, only knows about pushing higher academic scores to keep going, how would one keep on going when facing storm and failures. When faced with failures, unpleasant times, even we adults have downtime, we know to seek refuge from friends, families, happy memories we hold dear to when there is no one around us. How terrible it would feel if our children have no one around they can confide in, no one they can trust who will not judge them and accept them for who they are. Our society set a standard our children only know to be the best in something they are not enjoying but have to still do. Do they know that they can stop to breathe and look around, stroll and not sprint to the finish line?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080902https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080902Sat, 03 Sep 2022 05:26:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Sat, 03 Sep 2022 02:05:15 GMT]]>I find it weird because earlier you mentioned you are happy with your kids’ results. So your question on how to study hard is asked on whose behalf ? Which age group? Children taking PSLE or for A-levels? Different methods for different age groups with different motivation strategies. I doubt you are keen to know how we aunties studied hard 30 years ago.


When you see one successful Shokunin, 99.9% of the same profession could have fallen by the side and I wonder how many had ended up in psychiatric wards?

The chase for perfection has its cost and as a nation, we have decided not to go down this path. Already for the new AL banding, a student who scores 90%, his/her reward is the same as one who scores perfect 100%.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080883https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080883Sat, 03 Sep 2022 02:05:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Fri, 02 Sep 2022 09:58:02 GMT]]>

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2080646\" time=\"1662024637\" user_id=\"17023:
Not weird lah. Many parents shared these are the things they wished could have done back then. As a doer, next logical question is how to do it?

I already share before, I am satisfied with my kids results.

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2080646\" time=\"1662024637\" user_id=\"17023:[quote=lee_yl post_id=2080646 time=1662024637 user_id=17023]
About the Japanese 职ćœș蟟äșșthis is pretty unique to their culture. If we were to follow them to seek perfection in whatever we do, even for mundane jobs, don’t you think it will be very stressful for all of us? We need to put in a lot of effort to reach 95%. To reach 100%, the effort required will grow exponentially.

Perhaps related to their relentless quest for perfection, Japan has the most people hospitalized in psychiatric wards on a per capita basis.
职ćœș蟟äșș is the name of a popular variety show about expert on the job. 职äșș - Shokunin is a different category lah. Shokunins enjoy what they do and they find fulfilments in that. When they enjoy, won’t go mental hospital lah. Only don’t enjoy then may go. If something make us happy, don’t have to be too concern from which culture lah. We learn from each other. It’s up to individual judgement. đŸ« 

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080836https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080836Fri, 02 Sep 2022 09:58:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Thu, 01 Sep 2022 09:30:37 GMT]]>

bbbay\" post_id=\"2080398\" time=\"1661855723\" user_id=\"175278:

This forum is on the “How”. We have heard wish that should have study harder/smarter, clearer mind, more freedom. Care to add on hindsight, “how” could have gone about achieving them too? đŸ€”
Actually I find this question weird. You asked because you find your kids not studying “hard” enough?


About the Japanese 职ćœș蟟äșșthis is pretty unique to their culture. If we were to follow them to seek perfection in whatever we do, even for mundane jobs, don’t you think it will be very stressful for all of us? We need to put in a lot of effort to reach 95%. To reach 100%, the effort required will grow exponentially.

Perhaps related to their relentless quest for perfection, Japan has the most people hospitalized in psychiatric wards on a per capita basis.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080646https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080646Thu, 01 Sep 2022 09:30:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Thu, 01 Sep 2022 00:20:52 GMT]]>Found this video on dealing with problems in life. Probably it can offer something to our child dealing with their growing pains:


https://www.facebook.com/featheradmin/videos/1038736183397844/

How to be a “lake”, how to have “patient”, is a life skill that require constant practises. Just like any skill, we need to practice diligently to be good at them. No short cut. It is normal we will not be good at it at the beginning. With practice we will become better each day. Any journey is to be taken step by step. Is it worth committing our time to practice a skill that make us happy? I think so.

There are many such practices: meditation, prayer etc. can find one that suit our child/us.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080569https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080569Thu, 01 Sep 2022 00:20:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 07:25:28 GMT]]>

newbieks\" post_id=\"2080492\" time=\"1661928726\" user_id=\"178749:

Yes sometimes when we try to downplay the importance of something in the hope that they feel less stressed, they think that we dont understand and get even more upset. They/we know they have their limits, but cannot outright say like it is ok not to get something.. words like as long as you tried your best, many people also never get or that seem fake to them. And sometimes when tell us some problem and we try to suggest something, they get upset again because apparently they are not asking for solutions?? Is this all normal teen behaviour??

Difficult to talk right? Like worse than handling our bosses hahaha...maybe we are the ones that needs counselling hahaha...
:rotflmao: yalor..now need to inject humour somemore..eh teacher chasing for yr hw. O$P$ cher going to hang pxg's head liao.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080496https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080496Wed, 31 Aug 2022 07:25:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:52:06 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2080489\" time=\"1661927474\" user_id=\"43981:

All these while,.she has been telling me not to say that she is not going JC. She says she will go to JC..it is more than 1 time she cried, unhappy of me telling her that so now I try not to say anything. Newbieks, thank you for bringing out the cope mechanism.. that could well be part of the reasons..she wants to achieve something but results showing otherwise and in the process she is also undergoing stress fm other teen issues. Hope we could help our kiddos.
Yes sometimes when we try to downplay the importance of something in the hope that they feel less stressed, they think that we dont understand and get even more upset. They/we know they have their limits, but cannot outright say like it is ok not to get something.. words like as long as you tried your best, many people also never get or that seem fake to them. And sometimes when tell us some problem and we try to suggest something, they get upset again because apparently they are not asking for solutions?? Is this all normal teen behaviour??

Difficult to talk right? Like worse than handling our bosses hahaha...maybe we are the ones that needs counselling hahaha...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080492https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080492Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:52:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:50:11 GMT]]>I think let’s relax since it’s only sec 3, inconsequential. Leave her to manage herself or offer words of help/understanding/listening ear if she wishes. From your description, it appeared that she’s trying but perhaps hitting a wall or something
.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080491https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080491Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:50:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:31:14 GMT]]>All these while,.she has been telling me not to say that she is not going JC. She says she will go to JC
it is more than 1 time she cried, unhappy of me telling her that so now I try not to say anything. Newbieks, thank you for bringing out the cope mechanism
 that could well be part of the reasons
she wants to achieve something but results showing otherwise and in the process she is also undergoing stress fm other teen issues. Hope we could help our kiddos.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080489https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080489Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:31:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:12:44 GMT]]>

newbieks\" post_id=\"2080471\" time=\"1661923856\" user_id=\"178749:

My Sec 3 also display same symptoms as your dd. Could be sign of stress as EOY revision can be overwhelming compared to lower Sec. On one hand, say can do it, but continue to procrastinate and act out. End up late and didn’t do much and cycle continues the next day. Heard from some Teachers that some kids will just say ‘ I don’t care anymore’ as some kind of coping mechanism.. if she is open to seeing a counsellor that may be an option to see if things improve.
Yes you have a point there! One of my shocks is not prepared for exam. Say bochap but not entirely..can see her stressed up, can see her very busy but comes exam..not prepared one and to me is like how is that even possible. She is facing some other teens issues too like zac's mom mentioned. I m paying more attention on her now. Hope can help her..reminded me of telling her recently that we got to be full of life.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080484https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080484Wed, 31 Aug 2022 06:12:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:30:56 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2080463\" time=\"1661921280\" user_id=\"43981:

Mp, I really hope so. I m confused too. If I hadn't studied with her before during Pri, I would really think she is just very behind.
My Sec 3 also display same symptoms as your dd. Could be sign of stress as EOY revision can be overwhelming compared to lower Sec. On one hand, say can do it, but continue to procrastinate and act out. End up late and didn’t do much and cycle continues the next day. Heard from some Teachers that some kids will just say ‘ I don’t care anymore’ as some kind of coping mechanism.. if she is open to seeing a counsellor that may be an option to see if things improve.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080471https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080471Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:30:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:04:22 GMT]]>Hi Mks, Sec 3 is a transition year. Maybe she is still adjusting to new classmates, new teachers, new subject combi etc?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080464https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080464Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:04:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 04:48:00 GMT]]>

MyPillow\" post_id=\"2080424\" time=\"1661913626\" user_id=\"70594:

which dd?
If younger days n lower pri sch , no such signs ... BUT only show fr mid/ upp pri & above , its likely a Teens issues.
Mp, I really hope so. I m confused too. If I hadn't studied with her before during Pri, I would really think she is just very behind.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080463https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080463Wed, 31 Aug 2022 04:48:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 02:40:26 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2080413\" time=\"1661903014\" user_id=\"43981:

Nor sure if being disorganized, forgetful, poor time management have any association with any rather obvious development issue?
which dd?
If younger days n lower pri sch , no such signs ... BUT only show fr mid/ upp pri & above , its likely a Teens issues.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080424https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080424Wed, 31 Aug 2022 02:40:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:52:04 GMT]]>

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2080414\" time=\"1661903243\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2080414 time=1661903243 user_id=195250]
Star,
I am the other way round, I am glad here if I can lend my ears to listening someone in grievances. Sometimes, when we are no longer be self centre....thinking I want to get this and that but instead thinking what I can contribute to the well-being of others people....this will make us happier 抩äșșäžșćż«äčäč‹æœŹ.[/quote]
I just guess only..some ppl grown up under this kind of situation, they are very giving and caring person .. to own family members esp parents..the burden is so much till not much to give to outside ppl..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080419https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080419Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:52:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:39:28 GMT]]>

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2080415\" time=\"1661904591\" user_id=\"28674:

It can be, but equally, it could be due to poor discipline. You can only tell after significant effort in inculcating good self-discipline has been tried over a long period and failed. It's hard to tell from the behaviour alone whether it's because the child is really unable (because of developmental issues) or just hasn't had the habits instilled.
Thanks slmkhoo, true.. like just getting dd to sleep early as in latest 10.30pm like quite difficult. Told her this morning I suspect insufficient sleep that affect concentration then lead to other problems. Told her if she is aware even tho her revision is bad I keep asking her to go to bed not to do revision. This week she is better in the timing to bed..I shall push it further see if have any improvement. Hmm..attention very easily get diverted too..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080417https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080417Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:39:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:09:51 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2080413\" time=\"1661903014\" user_id=\"43981:

Nor sure if being disorganized, forgetful, poor time management have any association with any rather obvious development issue?
It can be, but equally, it could be due to poor discipline. You can only tell after significant effort in inculcating good self-discipline has been tried over a long period and failed. It's hard to tell from the behaviour alone whether it's because the child is really unable (because of developmental issues) or just hasn't had the habits instilled.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080415https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080415Wed, 31 Aug 2022 00:09:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to study hard and still enjoy childhood/teens years on Tue, 30 Aug 2022 23:47:23 GMT]]>

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2080301\" time=\"1661829344\" user_id=\"14025:

Me too, glad to have some ears to listen to my nonsense
Star,
I am the other way round, I am glad here if I can lend my ears to listening someone in grievances. Sometimes, when we are no longer be self centre....thinking I want to get this and that but instead thinking what I can contribute to the well-being of others people....this will make us happier 抩äșșäžșćż«äčäč‹æœŹ.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080414https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2080414Tue, 30 Aug 2022 23:47:23 GMT