buds:

ksi:

I think our urban lives are keeping us too much indoors and forget about the carefree days of kite-flying...


When the raining season is over, I would like to go kite flying with my child again...because parenting is just like the mastery of kite-flying. We cannot pull too tight neither can we let go too much...

Let's hope the rainy days will be over soon.. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php .. or
mebbe not so soon cos recently quite hot mah.. and that
cheery sunny skies light up our days. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

ksi:

I think our urban lives are keeping us too much indoors and forget about the carefree days of kite-flying...


When the raining season is over, I would like to go kite flying with my child again...because parenting is just like the mastery of kite-flying. We cannot pull too tight neither can we let go too much...

insider:

If one's children are willing to share with him/her their blogs, etc, then of course he / she can visit the blog openly and that's not considered 'peeping'. Having known you for sometimes, I don't think you belong to that category of what the thread starter said,

insider:

Errr...parents who peep into their kids' stuff even though their kids are OK kids probably is a reflection of these parents have a greater sense of insecurity, suspicious in nature, possessive, 看不开，lower confidence level, worry-too-much kind = higher risk of of bringing up kids who are similar to them (meaning likely to also bring up kids who can't build trusting relationships) = vicious cycle.

ksi:

buds:

[quote=\"ksi\"]Saying is easy, including myself, but the mastery is a life-time experience.

:celebrate:

ksi:

So once in a while, let's all go Fly Kite!!

http://www.postimage.org/

Naah, your kite, friend!

ksi:

Thank you friend!

I am going to post a song on the love song thread that is good for kite-flying.... When I go kite-flying I will fly with this song... :love: . :celebrate:

buds:

ksi:

Saying is easy, including myself, but the mastery is a life-time experience.

:celebrate:

ksi:

So once in a while, let's all go Fly Kite!!

http://www.postimage.org/

Naah, your kite, friend!

ksi:

Saying is easy, including myself, but the mastery is a life-time experience.

ksi:

So once in a while, let's all go Fly Kite!!

insider:

Errr...parents who peep into their kids' stuff even though their kids are OK kids probably is a reflection of these parents have a greater sense of insecurity, suspicious in nature, possessive, 看不开，lower confidence level, worry-too-much kind = higher risk of of bringing up kids who are similar to them (meaning likely to also bring up kids who can't build trusting relationships) = vicious cycle. Children's view of such parents maybe 烦死人 and they are unlikely to share more with such parents since telling them one thing and may lead them to imagine ten = don't tell better to save the 烦死人 situation...


These parents usually will also not trust their spouses (see a long strand of hair in the car = got woman outside?? and start their 'peeping game'...)

My personal view and don't get offended... Sometimes 'love and care' given out of 'good intent' can also give the receiver a sickening feeling if one doesn't apply it correctly...

Blobbi:

Then I must be the exception. , cos I'm not suspicious etc.

Blobbi:

Given time and a lot of typing space, I can justify when I'll peep.

Blobbi:

When I think back, I know that the goody two shoes image I presented to my parents was not exactly true. I did have my, shall we say, adventures. Nothing too wild, now that I look back. But I could have gotten into a lot of trouble if a little something went out of sync.

Maybe I'm speaking about the future based on what I know of my son today. He is very young (and he'd be mighty pissed if I told him someone suggested I might be 烦死人), but I know what kids can get up to. This is a difficult subject to write about because of the context that is required.

Blobbi:

My way of dealing with trust is to be as open and as accepting as I possibly can so there is no reason for him to lie. But given how sensitive he is, sometimes, any slight disapproval of something seemingly unconnected can trigger a little cover up here and there. If it's small, I will ignore. If it's bigger, I bring it up when he is calm so that he knows I know. I still need to tell him that the lie and the action he's covering up is wrong, but as his parent, I accept; I'm not judging him, just his actions. Despite this, I will still miss out on a few things ... I don't need to know everything - I just need to know when it's important.

markfch:

Let me rephrase the question into a hypothetical scenario. If one day you see your teenaged DD buying all sorts of branded stuff (way beyond her means) or your DS smelling of cigarettes, will you peek at their things when they are not looking or will you just confront them head-on?

insider:

Blobbi:

Shouldn't be so lazy if you want to accuse ...

Errr...meaning I can't write much coz I like to share but lazy to support my writing?

Have to put things into perspective. I am talking about teenagers / young adults and not those little ones like my 7 years old son. Little children may have little 'secrets' but they will spout out in no time if one knows how to talk to them...

Usually (see I use the word 'usually') parents will suffer backfire from their teenage children if they try to track too closely and risk becoming a 烦死人... (this one is common sense right?)

Blobbi:

ksi:

Just sharing only, to each his own, no right and wrong, just a matter of style. :celebrate:

Absolutely, ksi. We're just sharing. No need to get personal lah. :celebrate:

[Thanks dear]

markfch:

Let me rephrase the question into a hypothetical scenario. If one day you see your teenaged DD buying all sorts of branded stuff (way beyond her means) or your DS smelling of cigarettes, will you peek at their things when they are not looking or will you just confront them head-on?

Blobbi:

In psychology terms, it's called the halo effect and anchoring - when you attribute too much to one thing.

ksi:

Just sharing only, to each his own, no right and wrong, just a matter of style. :celebrate:

insider:

Blobbi:

Nolah skunk. I mean the imaginative spinning of the other traits that go with it.

Errr...those 'traits' are not 'imaginative spinning'... They are real psychology but I lazy to go comb for literature to support them...

Take them like what you 'imagine'... I am OK...

insider:

Blobbi:

Whoa, Insider. These are pretty strong statements, and there's too much inference on your part about others. If you went around accusing other people (and there's no way you can know), who's going to answer sensitive poll questions like that? Whatever happened to mutual respect of your fellow forummers?

Whoa, Blobbi. When I am making statements like these, I am very careful to add in my 'probably', 'generally', 'usually', coz I do understand not ALL are like this...

I belong to more of the camp of thinking parents have to do more self reflections when kids don't turn up well... (example of why my kids don't share with me? don't trust me? etc and they have to look back at how come they don't trust their kids = vicious cycle...).

insider:

ksi:

A safe would be to keep the documents or anything physically precious to her, secured from theft, not so much in keeping secrets, that is a little far-fetched for me personally.

My kids have their drawers with locks but keys got lost. Instead of replacing the locks, I got the digital safes which I find them cheap and good...

My daughter keeps mainly her 4 (or more) diary books in it and I think my son's safe only contains money + his precious collection cards that he will not allow my youngest son to touch...(didn't check but so far when　he opens it in front of me to safekeep his $, I can only see those items). If he allows his precious cards to lie around his room and my youngest son goes and plays with them and spoil them, then don't complain to me coz the instruction has always been to keep things that you don't want others to touch properly... (similarly for my daughter's diary books. Though my sons know they cannot touch a person's dairy but out of curiosity may go and read it if my daughter leaves it on her table, then she will have to bear some responsibility for a big quarrel that sure to follow if such incidence happens...)

skunk:

Blobbi:

Whatever happened to mutual respect of your fellow forummers?

I can't find anything disrespectful about her choice of words. Yeah, she did disapprove of people who peep into their children's things. So what? Must everyone approve of everything? Surely, she has her own right to disapprove of certain actions. U mean only when we compulsively approve of every action of each other, then that's real respect?

Blobbi:

Whatever happened to mutual respect of your fellow forummers?