TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 09:47:18 GMT

buds — Mon, 10 May 2010 09:47:18 GMT

My tummy hurts from laughing at your revelation jedamum! :rotflmao:

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 09:43:32 GMT

jedamum — Mon, 10 May 2010 09:43:32 GMT

3Boys:

What did stop me cold one day was when DS1 hit DS2, believing that to be the way to discipline the didi. Really got me thinking.......

i stopped smacking ds2's hand when he hit others due to one occasion:
out of excitement, he smack me. then i smacked his hands and told him cannot. then he looked at me and told me cannot and smacked my hands.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:57:07 GMT

buds — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:57:07 GMT

auntieM:
kuzco:
:rotflmao: I too was scratching my head over how to pull my eyes...hmmmm :?

I just tried that :stupid: .. ...on myself i mean..

Mebbe, it's pull eyebrow or eyelid?

I just tried. Can leh... albeit not for very long. :lol:

No thanks to my oily face.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:55:03 GMT

buds — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:55:03 GMT

markfch:
ksi:
And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

When the child cares for the mum in old age in the future, he'll slap her
and say, \"You know i love you right?\" :evil: \"But pee-ing on the bed is
a no-no, remember?\"

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:40:33 GMT

Funz — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:40:33 GMT

Cannot even remember when was the last time I spanked either of my kids. But they have tasted the pain before. DD more so then DS. And both combined, no more then 10 incidents that warrant a spanking.

These days, a stare or a grunt is enough to stop DS cold in his track of mischief, with DD, it takes a little more.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:18:30 GMT

auntieM — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:18:30 GMT

kuzco:
:rotflmao: I too was scratching my head over how to pull my eyes...hmmmm :?

I just tried that :stupid: .. ...on myself i mean..

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:14:31 GMT

kuzco — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:14:31 GMT

:rotflmao: I too was scratching my head over how to pull my eyes...hmmmm :?

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 05:02:47 GMT

tankee — Mon, 10 May 2010 05:02:47 GMT

markfch:
outsider:
[quote=\"adhdadhd\"]I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) \"face the wall\" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

...
2) you mean ears ?

Pull your ears doesn't sound half as bad as pull your eyes. Pull your eyes seems a bit off as a punishment.[/quote] :rotflmao:

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Mon, 10 May 2010 03:56:16 GMT

3Boys — Mon, 10 May 2010 03:56:16 GMT

I don’t believe in sparing the rod either. I will spank the child if the occasion warrants it. In practice though, I must say I have surprised myself by how little I have had to resort to it. In the 6+ year raising 3 kids, I don’t think the net total amount of spanking/caning for all 3 exceeds 10 occasions.

What did stop me cold one day was when DS1 hit DS2, believing that to be the way to discipline the didi. Really got me thinking…

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sun, 02 May 2010 02:57:07 GMT

markfch — Sun, 02 May 2010 02:57:07 GMT

outsider:
adhdadhd:
I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) \"face the wall\" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

...
2) you mean ears ?

Pull your ears doesn't sound half as bad as pull your eyes. Pull your eyes seems a bit off as a punishment.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sun, 02 May 2010 01:39:01 GMT

outsider — Sun, 02 May 2010 01:39:01 GMT

adhdadhd:
I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) \"face the wall\" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

...

2) you mean ears ?

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sun, 02 May 2010 00:45:41 GMT

markfch — Sun, 02 May 2010 00:45:41 GMT

ksi:
markfch:

I must be a frog in the proverbial well. What is GWIM?
Get what I mean?

I see. I googled and got some companies' names instead. Thanks.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 13:28:42 GMT

corneyAmber — Sat, 01 May 2010 13:28:42 GMT

markfch:
ksi:
Exactly my point. If the observers monitor and confirm that clearly this mum is abusing her child, it should be reported to MYCS to prevent future adults to be abused, GWIM?

I must be a frog in the proverbial well. What is GWIM?

Get what I mean?

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 10:17:36 GMT

markfch — Sat, 01 May 2010 10:17:36 GMT

ksi:
Exactly my point. If the observers monitor and confirm that clearly this mum is abusing her child, it should be reported to MYCS to prevent future adults to be abused, GWIM?

I must be a frog in the proverbial well. What is GWIM?

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 09:13:50 GMT

autumnbronze — Sat, 01 May 2010 09:13:50 GMT

When DH and I started out as parents, we decided on a reasoning via logic approach. The thing is, we'd been talking to him ever since he was a baby, we never used baby language. So we figured we'd had ample time to set him up so that he would 'get' us whenever we rationalize his misdeeds. Well, he does 'get' us, because he acknowledges, but I suppose a child has to be a child and will, inadvertently be up to mischief again.

DS is almost turning three. While he does generally listen to us, there are times that he gets us really :frustrated: with his nonsense. I think many would refer to this as a 'testing phase'. There have been times we'd resort to smacking his leg or hand as a very very last resort, though honestly, we make it a point for it to be few and far in between. We really don't like using this method ... but we use it after warning him several times as we don't want it to be a sudden thing and that he has to understand that he has 'earned' it due to his naughtiness. This will kind of 'stun' him, bring him to his senses and he will quieten down (after a short but huge burst of crying fit lah). We will then make it a point to explain to him our course of action a little later.

I hope to be able to do away with this completely

Hence, spanking is not something that I would advocate as a 'routine' form of punishment. Children tend to emulate. So my vote is on the second one.

Actually come to think of it, I think for me, I tend to raise my voice as a last resort a lot more than to smack him

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 08:14:16 GMT

corneyAmber — Sat, 01 May 2010 08:14:16 GMT

Exactly my point. If the observers monitor and confirm that clearly this mum is abusing her child, it should be reported to MYCS to prevent future adults to be abused, GWIM?

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 08:07:33 GMT

markfch — Sat, 01 May 2010 08:07:33 GMT

ksi:
markfch:
[quote=\"ksi\"]And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

Actually she can be reported for child abuse, it is beyond physical anguish, it is hurting the child mentally too.

Can you imagine if the child grows up and batters the wife and still wants his wife to say she loves him? :x[/quote]But an adult victim still can seek external help, a child can't.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 08:01:01 GMT

corneyAmber — Sat, 01 May 2010 08:01:01 GMT

markfch:
ksi:
And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:55:39 GMT

markfch — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:55:39 GMT

ksi:
And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say \"love her\", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

And according to my relative, this 'nut' case is so proud of the way she handles her child that she goes around the office boosting her methods to her colleagues. If her child turns out unbalanced, guess who will suffer in her old age.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:49:23 GMT

corneyAmber — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:49:23 GMT

Btw, slapping is a terrible punishment, refrain by all means, as it can cause deafness.

Beethovan was often slapped by his dad when young. By the time he was 35 if I recalled rightly, he became deaf. Such a tragic for a musician.

And for the mum who did that to the child and asked the child to say "love her", she sounded like a mental case to me. :x

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:45:09 GMT

markfch — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:45:09 GMT

adhdadhd:
I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) \"face the wall\" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don't do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind... tears also cannot come out...

wah adhd,
I think 2) is more insidious than spanking. You not scared long term psychology damage to your DS hah? I heard of this mum who after slapping her DS will force him to say (loudly) that he loves her. Still gives me the chill when I think of it.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:39:30 GMT

corneyAmber — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:39:30 GMT

I believe the article refers to senseless spanking which will build resentment in a child certainly.

The kind of spanking I have for my child contingents on my bonding level with her. For every spanking experience, alot of communication is made to let her understand why spanking is required. Having said this, spanking only lasted from 5-6YO…but not frequently, only when stubborness was totally unbearable. And it started from 5YO because old enough to understand but chose to defy senselessly and it took a year for messages to internalise. So voting now would mean no more spanking.

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:34:12 GMT

adhdadhd — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:34:12 GMT

I have 3 ways to punish my DS,

1) "face the wall" aka time out or thinking corner
2) kneel down and pull your eye.
3) physical cane, hand or backside.

whatever way to punish is fine, but it must be with a reason.
The reason must be explained to the kid after the punishment.

But, the best don’t do 3 lah, he got the pain, I got deep cut in my mind… tears also cannot come out…

Reply to TIME magazine:Spanking makes children violent later in life on Sat, 01 May 2010 07:09:11 GMT

markfch — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:09:11 GMT

I would categorise case i) as physical abuse. If I interpret the article correctly, it is saying that iv) is superior to ii).

Come to think of it, amongst my 3 siblings, I was the only want to taste the rod. Though I think I turned out ok, my other siblings are certainly better versions of the same gene factory.