etlo:

Wow, this is my first post but I must say that I am just here to read up about the $350k to raise a child but the posts here have humbled and stretched my thinking when considering about the in-laws and parents. It is so heartening to read of different thoughts of experienced parents (mine is just on the way).

Muffins:

All parents should ask themselves:


Is this $350K a gift, OR A LOAN???

LKVM:

Maybe she wanted to write 50 :?

chatelaine:

Imagine you spend min. $5 on your kid daily. By the time, they reach 18yrs, you would have spent ~$350k on them :!:

tamarind:

DesertWind,

Now I only spend $38 (school bus) + $5.50 (school fees) for my P1 girl every month That is less than $50. She refuses to attend any enrichment classes. I don't keep track of how much I spend on food and clothing for the kids, too complicated for me to count

tamarind:

I read that article in the Simply Her magazine. The $350K was an estimate by OCBC bank, sounds a lot like sales talk to me, they are probably trying to advertise their financial products. Their intention is to attract the high earners to put money in their bank.

KSP:

I think how much you spend on a child depend on how much you earn or have. Not everyone earn >$10k a month. How about those household below 2k a month? I don't think they will spend 350k for a child. But whoever one is I think there is a way to servive thru. For example


1. Medical - for the high earners of course can affort specialist/private clinic which cost hundreds per visit, for low income can go polyclinics which just more ten dollars. I'm just referring to minor illness here.

2. Education - for the high earners can go for $60-$80 per session enrichment classes, for low income can go for CDAC which cost much much low. Local Pri to Uni fees are all standard and subsidised. For those who can affort overseas more prestigous uni that cost few 100k can go but those who can't can stand in Singapore and take part time degree courses.

3. Pocket money - I feel this really depend on how much the parents earn.

buds:

My girl said once, \"Mummy, you're so nice to her (great grandaunt) when

she was still alive... then when she fell ill.. and even when she couldn't
remember who you were and now she looks like she's smiling at you
when you kiss them for the last time. Goodbye grandaunt, i hope you
go to heaven and i will pray for you always..\" There were sobs heard
in the room when she said that. At that time she was only 4. Till today,
they do remember to include their prayers for all those they know who
have left us.

Much as i do not want my parents or in-laws to grow old and die alone
as if they didn't have a family... i hope my children & i can be as close
as we are now in happiness and in wealth, in sickness and in health till
i breathe my last breath. I hope i raise them well enuf to know that.

That's why i agree with the saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
No 350k or any amount for that matter can ensure, chop plus guarantee
a well raised child.

Hugs for you tam.. :hugs:

deminc:

Dear buds and Tam,
I believe your children will take very good care of you in your old age but not because you show them receipts, but because you have demonstrated that love and care to your elderly relatives and to your children.
I've read Tam's blog on the trips she took her dad on - it's One of the most moving blogs I've read.

I don't like The Giving Tree either, because I believe martyrdom is just another form of narcissim. I never saw that book as an analogy for a parent's love even though many do.

Tam, actually I've been to many funerals over the past five years. none of the parents were demanding, and indeed, some were quite irresponsible. But the children more than did their duty to the very last in tears. I think in death lies the ultimate forgiveness and redemption.

Maybe I'm too much of an optimist! I tend to see the good than worry about bad motives.

Last on books and the West, I think it's again too simplistic to generalise like that. (coincidentally I just borrowed Pinnochio today!) Their culture is different, but it doesn't mean they are indifferent. It's just that expectations are different and most pain and disappointments arise from unmet expectations. It's good that you are clear on your expectations.

tree nymph:

kaitlynangelica:

Buds and Tam,

I beg to differ. Yes I agree that children should never take anything for granted. I keep reminding my daughter that she is very very fortunate unlike the children in our maid's country who mostly don't have an opportunity for a good education. I teach her kindness through other methods like encouraging her to give away her old things to our maid or to share her things with others. I point out the less fortunate to her like the old man who has to sell tissue on the roadside. My aim is just to pass on the correct values to her, and not to reap something in return. Whatever is within our means, we will give to her.

I disagree with keeping all the recipts just to show them in future. From the day me and dh decided to have dd, we agreed that we will give her unconditional love without being calculative.

How would you feel if your parents fished out all the receipts or kept track of all the expenses that they had incurred over raising us? I would be hurt and disgusted.

Likewise, I just think that if we are calculative with them, they will be calculative with us in the future.

ok, i owed up. I kept the receipt from Guardian when I bought the test kit and thereafter, ALL the receipts from every single visits till i gave birth at the hospital and all the medical receipts and everything else. I plan to ask my kids to pay hb and me back AS SOON AS they start to work. Oh, you have to include compounded interest too and maybe I should also throw in the opportunity cost?? I wonder if each of my kids will be able to repay me every single cent in my remaining years....

:faint:

if I were to expect to take back anything from them, i might as well don't have kids and just park my money in the bank with a very low interest rate and go for tour/trips every other month!

Not one of our postings said that we will be using that receipts and ask money back from our kids. We are discussing methods to impart values that we treasure most to our kids. I really don't think any one of us here are using this as a method to get back their money spent on the kids. Anyway, I don't think the kids will ever be able to pay us back on what we have put in on them. Same for what our parents had done for us!

buds:

Hehe.. again same, tree nymph! :hi5:

Not that we want those extensions aniwae hor.
Seriously, :offtopic: liao people... remember the
figure in mention for discussion. 350k! :faint:
Per child hokay! :lol: And.. with or without cool
ILs. :lol: