<![CDATA[Share your experience of first time meeting PILs]]>

duriz:
MMM:

[quote=\"markfch\"] [Choosing DIL is more impt than choosing pri sch you know.


:lol: My hubby was the only son but even then I felt that I went through a \"rigorous\" process. Fil looked and scrutinised me from head to toe for the 1st few time we meet. He literally sit facing me and look at me from head to toe :!: Thought I can only see that in the drama.

Told my only son that next time, daddy will also do that to his potential girlfriends. πŸ˜‰

This reminds me of the first time DH brought me home to meet his parents. When DH went to get me a drink and left me alone with PILs: MIL asked do I cook (yes); do I like to clean (yes); do I love children (yes).

When DH was driving me home, he asked me what we talked about. I told him his Mom was interviewing for a maid :faint:[/quote]Interesting topic of discussion here. All came about because I wanted to matchmake ds with buds's dd2. I remember the first time I met my PILs. They were mainly chinese speaking type and with my half-past-six chinese, I couldn't make sense of half the things my FIL was telling me. I just did the next best thing. Nodding my head vigorously everytime I think a qn is being asked.

Thanks to ds, my chinese has improved by leaps and bounds (cos must teach him mah). And I can understand every single word that FIL is telling me now :lol: What about your experience? Generalizing a bit here, but I can imagine that meeting rich PILs can be a very stressful experience.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/12954/share-your-experience-of-first-time-meeting-pilsRSS for NodeFri, 24 Apr 2026 13:44:10 GMTMon, 09 Aug 2010 04:09:46 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Wed, 18 Aug 2010 03:48:20 GMT]]>

LOLMum:
hi desertwind, dd is 12 and ds is 6 but dd is talking about boys and relationships now. still a long way to go but not too late to start having fun discussions about boys, girls, birds and bees etc............. 😎 :lol:

Hi LOLMum!
πŸ˜‰
Yup, for a girl, 12 yo is about the age they start to talk about BGR and girls mature faster than boys! Especially since she is entering into teens already and with shows like \"Hannah Montana\", dating etc.....

I am just thinking back on myself when I was young lah! Will need to learn from you in time to come. Long way to go for me, my DS just 3 yo!
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242971https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242971Wed, 18 Aug 2010 03:48:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:51:19 GMT]]>hi desertwind,


dd is 12 and ds is 6 but dd is talking about boys and relationships now.

still a long way to go but not too late to start having fun discussions about boys, girls, birds and bees etc............. 😎

:lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242669https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242669Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:51:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:12:01 GMT]]>

LOLMum:
wow, that's great. i always believe that things should be done correctly to set the path for a good relationship between all parties......

i would definitely be dismayed if my kids bring their respective partners to my house unannounced or am given a late notice. :lol:
Hi LOLMum,

Thanks! I remembered the first time (actually all subsequent visits too) I visited my PILs, my MIL took great pains to ensure the whole house was spick and span, garden well manicured, food nicely cooked and the settings fully prepared complete with crystal wine glasses, matching crockery & cutlery etc.. A lot of effort went into the preparation works! :love:

I should remember all these good times, like what you said, my PILs were setting the path for a good relationship!

Are your kids quite big already?
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242650https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242650Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:12:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:49:23 GMT]]>

DesertWind:
As usual just pulling your legs! πŸ˜‰ Anyway my first meeting with PIL was great! PIL, especially my MIL, treated me really nicely and courteously, very considerate and I was really impressed and touched!

wow, that's great.

i always believe that things should be done correctly to set the path for a good relationship between all parties.

when we first met our respective pils, we took along some small gifts for them and a formal introduction was made. this is showing respect to his parents, mine and ourselves. of course, things were awkward at first, because we were afraid of saying the wrong things but things got better after the many gatherings we had later.

i would definitely be dismayed if my kids bring their respective partners to my house unannounced or am given a late notice.

just my 2 $ worths :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242636https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242636Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:49:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:39:31 GMT]]>As usual just pulling your legs! πŸ˜‰ Anyway my first meeting with PIL was great! PIL, especially my MIL, treated me really nicely and courteously, very considerate and I was really impressed and touched!


However, the real \"excitement\" came only after marriage when the status changed from son's girlfriend to DIL. Oh boy.... 😒

Enough said!
:celebrate:

markfch:
Sorry DesertWind, pls share your experience too. I guessed I watched too many HK tv serials liao. The rich relatiives are always hard to get along with in those shows.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242509https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242509Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:39:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:35:03 GMT]]>

jedamum:
i can't remember my first meeting with my PIL, but i remembered my dh first meeting my parents; when he handed the mango cake over to my mum, my mum 'sized him up' for a minute or so and then took over the cake and told him that he was allowed to keep me in exchange for the cake. :faint: lolz.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242507https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242507Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:35:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:23:18 GMT]]>

jedamum:
i can't remember my first meeting with my PIL, but i remembered my dh first meeting my parents; when he handed the mango cake over to my mum, my mum 'sized him up' for a minute or so and then took over the cake and told him that he was allowed to keep me in exchange for the cake. :faint: lolz.

Oh man! Price of a dd is a cake, keke. No lah, I'm sure your mum has more foresight than that :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242470https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242470Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:23:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:04:15 GMT]]>i can't remember my first meeting with my PIL, but i remembered my dh first meeting my parents; when he handed the mango cake over to my mum, my mum 'sized him up' for a minute or so and then took over the cake and told him that he was allowed to keep me in exchange for the cake. :faint: lolz.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242465https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242465Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:04:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 10:21:29 GMT]]>

markfch:
duriz:

[quote=\"Funz\"] I will be totally gross out if DH were to check out my mum's figure. My mum was one hot babe in her haydays. Boobsy and leggy with a tiny waist. Now she is an expanded version, still boobsy, still leggy, in proportion to the rest of her body, her waist is still tiny. πŸ˜‰ Me I am nowhere near boobsy or leggy so definitely will not end up looking like my mum.


That's a great post, cracked me up, thanks for the smile, Funz πŸ˜„

That's funny, funz. Hope your mum doesn't surf KSP though πŸ˜‰[/quote]Haha. Nope. But she will very promptly say we (3 sisters) are the reasons for her 'expansion' and that she is still an hourglass, just a bigger one only. Tease her about her figure and she will banter with us good naturedly but good luck to whoever dare to say anything negative about her cooking. And usually the unlucky bloke is my Dad. After so many years of marriage, still never learn. πŸ˜›

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242442https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242442Tue, 17 Aug 2010 10:21:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 10:14:31 GMT]]>

duriz:
Funz:

I will be totally gross out if DH were to check out my mum's figure. My mum was one hot babe in her haydays. Boobsy and leggy with a tiny waist. Now she is an expanded version, still boobsy, still leggy, in proportion to the rest of her body, her waist is still tiny. πŸ˜‰ Me I am nowhere near boobsy or leggy so definitely will not end up looking like my mum.


That's a great post, cracked me up, thanks for the smile, Funz πŸ˜„

:celebrate: Great to know that I made someone smile.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242440https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242440Tue, 17 Aug 2010 10:14:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 09:52:38 GMT]]>

duriz:
Funz:

I will be totally gross out if DH were to check out my mum's figure. My mum was one hot babe in her haydays. Boobsy and leggy with a tiny waist. Now she is an expanded version, still boobsy, still leggy, in proportion to the rest of her body, her waist is still tiny. πŸ˜‰ Me I am nowhere near boobsy or leggy so definitely will not end up looking like my mum.


That's a great post, cracked me up, thanks for the smile, Funz πŸ˜„

That's funny, funz. Hope your mum doesn't surf KSP though πŸ˜‰

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242418https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242418Tue, 17 Aug 2010 09:52:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:45:59 GMT]]>Ditto me duriz, my mind was wandering oredi....had too much for lunch and now paying the price. 😒

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242183https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242183Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:45:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:42:45 GMT]]>

Funz:
I will be totally gross out if DH were to check out my mum's figure. My mum was one hot babe in her haydays. Boobsy and leggy with a tiny waist. Now she is an expanded version, still boobsy, still leggy, in proportion to the rest of her body, her waist is still tiny. πŸ˜‰ Me I am nowhere near boobsy or leggy so definitely will not end up looking like my mum.

That's a great post, cracked me up, thanks for the smile, Funz πŸ˜„

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242099https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242099Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:42:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:40:40 GMT]]>

markfch:
MMM:

[quote=\"concern2\"]The first thing that came to my mind when I met my FIL was:


\"Oh dear, why hadn't I checked how how he looks like earlier?\" :clubmyself:

I had forgotten the old saying, \"If you want to know how he'll look like when he's older, check out his father first.\"

Err.... I thought that applies to the woman's figure too. If you want to know what shape your wife will end up, look at her mother.

And may I add. If you want to know how your dh looks like when he's balding, look at fil :lol:[/quote]My FIL still has a full head of hair whereas DH is already bald. But boy am I glad DH does not look like his father.

I will be totally gross out if DH were to check out my mum's figure. My mum was one hot babe in her haydays. Boobsy and leggy with a tiny waist. Now she is an expanded version, still boobsy, still leggy, in proportion to the rest of her body, her waist is still tiny. πŸ˜‰ Me I am nowhere near boobsy or leggy so definitely will not end up looking like my mum.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242096https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242096Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:40:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:21:01 GMT]]>

markfch:
And may I add. If you want to know how your dh looks like when he's balding, look at fil :lol:

Heng ah..., at 76, my fil still has his head full of hair.

I hope he don't inherit his father's super careful and super naggy genes. Otherwise we willl :?:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242056https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242056Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:21:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:13:06 GMT]]>

markfch:
MMM:

[quote=\"concern2\"]The first thing that came to my mind when I met my FIL was:


\"Oh dear, why hadn't I checked how how he looks like earlier?\" :clubmyself:

I had forgotten the old saying, \"If you want to know how he'll look like when he's older, check out his father first.\"

Err.... I thought that applies to the woman's figure too. If you want to know what shape your wife will end up, look at her mother.

And may I add. If you want to know how your dh looks like when he's balding, look at fil :lol:[/quote]Actually some men inherit the balding gene from their mothers :roll:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242041https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242041Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:13:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:59:55 GMT]]>

MMM:
concern2:

The first thing that came to my mind when I met my FIL was:


\"Oh dear, why hadn't I checked how how he looks like earlier?\" :clubmyself:

I had forgotten the old saying, \"If you want to know how he'll look like when he's older, check out his father first.\"

Err.... I thought that applies to the woman's figure too. If you want to know what shape your wife will end up, look at her mother.

And may I add. If you want to know how your dh looks like when he's balding, look at fil :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242026https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242026Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:59:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:56:10 GMT]]>

concern2:
The first thing that came to my mind when I met my FIL was:


\"Oh dear, why hadn't I checked how how he looks like earlier?\" :clubmyself:

I had forgotten the old saying, \"If you want to know how he'll look like when he's older, check out his father first.\"
Err.... I thought that applies to the woman's figure too. If you want to know what shape your wife will end up, look at her mother.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242022https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242022Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:56:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:52:14 GMT]]>The first thing that came to my mind when I met my FIL was:


\"Oh dear, why hadn't I checked how how he looks like earlier?\" :clubmyself:

I had forgotten the old saying, \"If you want to know how he'll look like when he's older, check out his father first.\"

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242017https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/242017Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:52:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:17:10 GMT]]>

Funz:
markfch:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]Off topic. My relationship with MIL wasn't all smooth afterall. The trigger was I left my job to be SAHM. She felt extremely bitter that I 'snatched' her granddaughter away from her since I would be taking care of dd full time & she also felt slight injustice that I didn't share her son's burden in bringing home the bacon. She insisted I should return to work！

I think PILs must learn to let go once their children got married. They must understand and accept that once married, the children's spouse should ideally be the most impt person in their children's life. Definitely not an easy thing to do, I know. I hope that when my turn comes, I can do what I preached.

[/quote]easier said then done! My MIL sees me as \"mother of my grandchildren\" not \"wife of my son\". Maybe that is why she doesn't have a grandson till now...so all the things she's done to her two DIL's (my SIL is really wary of her :roll: ) won't have the opportunity (thankfully!) to exact what she has done on the next generation :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241977https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241977Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:17:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 03:29:02 GMT]]>Spouses must communicate with one another once they are married. It’s not easy for 2 individuals to live together. Their respective parents should not interfere in the new lives as it can cause marital disharmony.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241909https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241909Tue, 17 Aug 2010 03:29:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Tue, 17 Aug 2010 03:20:47 GMT]]>

markfch:
sleepy:

Off topic. My relationship with MIL wasn't all smooth afterall. The trigger was I left my job to be SAHM. She felt extremely bitter that I 'snatched' her granddaughter away from her since I would be taking care of dd full time & she also felt slight injustice that I didn't share her son's burden in bringing home the bacon. She insisted I should return to work！

I think PILs must learn to let go once their children got married. They must understand and accept that once married, the children's spouse should ideally be the most impt person in their children's life. Definitely not an easy thing to do, I know. I hope that when my turn comes, I can do what I preached.

I think not only that, the spouse themselves need to place their partner 1st. If the spouse understands that, there is no way any PIL can interfere with their marriage.

That said, we also have to understand that both parties will still have our obligation towards our respective parents that we need to fulfill. Cannot totally disregard them just cos we have our own family now.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241891https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241891Tue, 17 Aug 2010 03:20:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Mon, 16 Aug 2010 14:08:51 GMT]]>The FIRST time I met hubby’s parents, I wish I could leave immediately.

His mother has dual personality - demure and understanding in front of her 3 sons, but horns appear behind their back.
When then-boyfriend-now-hubby walked into the room, she told me to be gotta continue to work because it will be very stressful for her son to support me. Anyway, she didn’t know (doesn’t need to know) that hubby & I had agreement that I can quit working when we had kids.
Hubby still gave her the same amt every mth.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241479https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241479Mon, 16 Aug 2010 14:08:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Share your experience of first time meeting PILs on Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:59:08 GMT]]>

Sun_2010:
My MIL extracts revenge the other way around, she load my plate and when i protest , she says finish it, anyway there is excess food and it will be left over otherwise. Am I the eco friendly dustbin??? Sigh! :stupid:

Hi Sun_2010,
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
It was hilarious reading about this \"reverse revenge\" because my MIL did it to me too! When we first got married and were staying with her for about 6 months, she was pissed with me about something and she does the \"opposite\". She loaded my plate up with DOUBLE-PORTION of desert (even more than my FIL and hubby) and then asked very sweetly whether this was enough? Not enough please help myself somemore! 😐

I picked up the negative vibes and was really :x :x :x .
She got her revenge and I hated her for it. Can still remember until today!
Should have dumped the whole thing into the dustbin straightaway! πŸ˜›

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241474https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/241474Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:59:08 GMT