<![CDATA[What is being a KiasuParent?]]>Was talking to a friend, and realized that different people have different understanding of what it means to be a kiasuparent. To some, it is the need to have your children be #1 in school. The perpetual chase for that higher grade and better schools. Frankly to me, I am more laid back…the only thing that I am "kiasu" about is for my kid to be better than I was when I was small. Essentially, just to give them a better chance in nuturing them and preparing them for adult life.


Share your thots and definition here.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/146/what-is-being-a-kiasuparentRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 08:20:18 GMTWed, 16 Apr 2008 00:00:34 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:08:31 GMT]]>being a kiasuparents means we care a lot MORE for our children.

My gal who is P3 now used to do Assessment Book since K1. And last yr, she had completed more than 30 Assessment Books when she is P2 and she got 3rd in her class without any tution class.My small boy who is in K2 now also started to do Assessment books . I believe this is not kiasu as some may think so. It did really help them.
PRACTICE MADE PERFECT.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/24383https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/24383Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:08:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:46:50 GMT]]>*hmz*


I was a product of this when I was young... I attended a kindergarten in a church in the mornings and would head to PAP kindergarten after lunch. My mom's rationale was because the church program had more focus on English in its programs etc whilst PAP focus was more on Chinese and other subjects. She wanted me to have a balanced mix of both (she was worried my English would be bad since she's a dominant Mandarin speaker) and to be around other people a lot more. I think it was kinda her way of learning independence as well.

Nap time would come after PAP. I don't remember having problems with the nap and rest time. Though I always felt it was 'exciting' to be changing uniforms and going to different classes :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/16651https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/16651Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:46:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:34:26 GMT]]>Kiasu parents will be sending their kids to many of the enrichments classes as they cannot afford to lose to other kids. Or to courses that parents think is good for their kids. For example, golf or those that kids does not enjoy themselves. Electronics games as now serve as a trend, so parents thought their kids MUST know how to use & play even when they are only 3 years old…


Kiasu parents will not admit they are kiasu, they will claimed that aiya, it’s my kids’ requests lor… etc & etc. As I’ve seen & heard of too many parents doing such to their kids, I’m consider as relax mum liao…

Sorry if I offended anyone of you. Above quoted is based on my friends’ kids whom already started to complain that they are overloaded…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/8094https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/8094Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:34:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Thu, 11 Sep 2008 04:57:26 GMT]]>kaitlynangelica,

PCF kindergartens have different standards. Fortunately I can find a high standard PCF near my place. They are already teaching the kids to write sentences in K1, so don't have to worry about not prepared for P1.

I pay $70 more for the dancing class. The others like cooking, junior writing, phonics, poetry, etc are all included in the $150 kindergarten school fees. Total $220+. I am using the CDA account, so I am paying $110+ only, government is paying the other half 🙂 Actually I don't find the dancing class worth it, my girl is also not interested to learn dancing, but no choice since it is compulsory.

Wa $150 for each subject is very expensive ! I just realized that her K1 class is also teaching phonics like long vowels, split vowels(or silent E), etc, at no extra charge 😄


EN, jedamum,
My kids are also not taking afternoon nap now. But I heard that kids at this age need at least 13 hours of sleep, so I wish that they can sleep more. At 4 - 5 years old, kids should be able to play by themselves, it doesn't matter whether maid/grandparents can teach them well or not. Parents should provide the kids with the necessary resources, like books, educational toys, paper, pencils, arts and crafts tools, etc. We should let the kids explore the world on their own. My kids spend hours at home (when not in school) inventing new games to play with each other, or on their own 🙂

I actually thought of putting them in childcare centres before. But I changed my mind after visiting some of these centres. Kids are made to sit around a table for long periods of time, each have only a few blocks to play with. What can be done with only a few blocks ? My kids have a few hundred lego blocks at home, and they often create elaborate designs of abstract structures (supposed to be dinosaurs, aeroplanes etc). I think in the CC if the child tries to take more blocks, he will be accused of not sharing. At home, we have more than enough blocks for 2 kids to share. My kids also can draw and write as much as they want, we let them have free access to paper and pencil. I don't think CCs have this luxury, to them paper is not cheap. When I think of all these restrictions, I would rather just put my kids for half a day at nursery/kindergarten. I save the CC fees, which is a lot more expensive, and use the extra money to buy better educational toys/books etc for my kids 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7289https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7289Thu, 11 Sep 2008 04:57:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:40:23 GMT]]>Hi


For mine the enrichment in PCF covers English & Math. Other parents find it useful, I just find it too little. I have my daughter's syllabus in RGPS that I use as a gauge, so I know it is simply not enough.

Tamarind wrote [quote] thought a child that age should still be taking afternoon naps ? It will be very tiring to attend classes both in the morning and afternoon. My girl's K1 class is 4 hours long, I cannot imagine if she does another 4 hours in the morning.

A child should have time for free play. Staying at home with the maid or grandparents do not mean they are doing nothing. They can learn a lot of things through free play.[/quote]For napping, my son was in childcare when he was 1.5 years old. I came back to pick him up at 3 pm & he was the only one not sleeping. He don't nap & sleep very little.

However, I do agree that a child should have time for free play. They are after all a child. They have all the time to be adults later but they only have 12 years to be a child. Let them enjoy & explore what interest or fancy them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7252https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7252Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:40:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:50:14 GMT]]>

EN:
I pulled out my son from PCF enrichment, because I think it is a waste of money & time. He ends up coaching other kids rather than learn new things.
i pulled my boy out from his pcf english enrichment recently, too. Not that he doesn't learn anything there, its just that the way they 'grade' the worksheets is dependent on how well the kid draw/colour on the items relating to that piece of worksheet rather than the contents (as most likely the teacher went through the contents with them). what has colouring and drawing got to do with learning english?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7251https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7251Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:50:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:45:18 GMT]]>

sleepy:

Recently I overheard a father whining to a school principal that he didn't know must ballot to get into that school.
A little research would have easily revealed this vital piece of info. He wouldn't be caught in surprise & in regrets now
sleepy,
yes, that dad should have done prior research...assuming that he is computer literate.
when i brought my boy for registration that day, one of the grandparent turn up with the kid and brought along only the kids' birthcert. they didn't even know that they have to bring along parents' ID or even the health booklet. but perhaps that is the norm for neighbourhood schools, whereby the parents may not even be literate.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7250https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7250Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:45:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:42:16 GMT]]>

tamarind:
jedamum,

I thought a child that age should still be taking afternoon naps ? It will be very tiring to attend classes both in the morning and afternoon. My girl's K1 class is 4 hours long, I cannot imagine if she does another 4 hours in the morning.

A child should have time for free play. Staying at home with the maid or grandparents do not mean they are doing nothing. They can learn a lot of things through free play.
depends. 5-6yr olds need 11hrs of sleep. if they get to sleep that stretch for the night, they do not need any naps.
some kindergarten only 3 hours, considering morning 9-12pm and afternoon 2-5pm, if the kid goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up 11hrs later, the kid will get his sufficient rest. that's just my guess.
not that i advocate it, but i feel that some parents might just think that that is the best arrangement for their kid, as for some families, the maid/grandparents do not know how to control/discipline/teach/interact with the kid.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7249https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7249Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:42:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:20:45 GMT]]>

EN:
Hi


I term kiasu parents as looking forward parents. Kiasu parents ensure that they cover all loopholes. They don't want their children to lose out due to lack of information or inaction on their part.

I agreed with your definition.

Recently I overheard a father whining to a school principal that he didn't know must ballot to get into that school. He regretted not doing PV for his child & he complained to the principal that info was not made available to him

A little research would have easily revealed this vital piece of info. He wouldn't be caught in surprise & in regrets now

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7241https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7241Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:20:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:14:02 GMT]]>Hi


My son was in PCF before. Whatever been taught is just sufficient enough for the kids to sit through for P1 but the kids won’t excel. Need to provide extra coaching or enrichment. Phonic not covered in PCF. I put my son for PCF enrichment class but later pulled him out after two months because what has been taught is too simple.

I’m not very kiasu. I pulled out my son from PCF enrichment, because I think it is a waste of money & time. He ends up coaching other kids rather than learn new things.

I term kiasu parents as looking forward parents. Kiasu parents ensure that they cover all loopholes. They don’t want their children to lose out due to lack of information or inaction on their part.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7240https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7240Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:14:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:24:18 GMT]]>

tamarind:
My girl's K1 class includes enrichment like dancing, cooking, poetry, creative writing, etc, so I don't have to send her for extra lessons. She is also well disciplined in class. She was telling me that her teachers give one star for keeping toys, and one star for keeping quiet when needed. She is very proud of getting stars 😄 I think her 4 hour of kindergarten class a day is more than enough for her.


The rest of the day, they stay at home with my mother and maid. My boy and girl have free play at home, which I think is very important for their development. We have tons of lego blocks, and they love to create new designs. My girl loves to draw and she has been creating new books by sticking pieces of white paper together, on every page she draws a picture, then write a few sentences to describe the picture. I never told her to do this, she does it herself. Sometimes if she does not know how to spell a word, she will go around looking for books to copy from (we have more than 300 children's books at home), or she will call me or her Daddy on our mobile phone to ask.

My boy learns from his jie jie and has also started to create books on his own 😄

I am happy that they do this on their own will, which I think is better than being taught in enrichment classes.

Tamarind,

its good that your gal's PCF kindergarten is so good. I have heard more complaints than anything else. My hubby has a friend whose gal only went to PCF and nothing more. She reached p1 and can't read a word and is super-stressed now.Another friend of mine, her boy is in a very high standard school; also went to PCF and can't read a word too now. Also failed his listening comprehension.

Do you have to pay additional for her enrichment? Previously my gal attended a church kindergarten and I had to pay additional for the enrichment classes like phonics, chinese and creative art. It was an additional $150 a term for each subject so that brought the term fees to about $1k. Didn't find it very good either.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7236https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7236Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:24:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:03:15 GMT]]>My girl's K1 class includes enrichment like dancing, cooking, poetry, creative writing, etc, so I don't have to send her for extra lessons. She is also well disciplined in class. She was telling me that her teachers give one star for keeping toys, and one star for keeping quiet when needed. She is very proud of getting stars 😄 I think her 4 hour of kindergarten class a day is more than enough for her.


The rest of the day, they stay at home with my mother and maid. My boy and girl have free play at home, which I think is very important for their development. We have tons of lego blocks, and they love to create new designs. My girl loves to draw and she has been creating new books by sticking pieces of white paper together, on every page she draws a picture, then write a few sentences to describe the picture. I never told her to do this, she does it herself. Sometimes if she does not know how to spell a word, she will go around looking for books to copy from (we have more than 300 children's books at home), or she will call me or her Daddy on our mobile phone to ask.

My boy learns from his jie jie and has also started to create books on his own 😄

I am happy that they do this on their own will, which I think is better than being taught in enrichment classes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7208https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7208Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:03:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:59:19 GMT]]>Actually i think that there is no harm in going for enrichment classes at K1 or K2 level, as long as they enjoy the classes and doesn’t find it stressful. I strongly believe in character building, hence i made sure that my gal goes to a pre-school that emphasizes that. I want her to start learning the correct values since young as I believe it will go a long way for her. This week she is re-visiting "responsibility" in school and parents need to co-ordinate with the school as there is some homework for us to reinforce on that. As she is with my parents from Mon-Fri, i think my parents had indulged her too much by doing everything for her.When she comes home on weekends, i made sure she sticks to my house rules. Since 5, she has been vacuuming and mopping her room on Sat (although i do have a part time helper) and she keeps her toys, books after finishing etc. Academic wise, i do not need her to be the best, i believe that it’s ok as long as she has done her best. So far, she’s ok as she’s disciplined and focused.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7205https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7205Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:59:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:44:24 GMT]]>kaitlynangelica,

My boy is the blur blur type, cannot focus in class. If I send him to class, he will also not learn much. So I have to think of ways to teach him at home. He needs many repetitions and lots of one to one attention. Other teachers will not have patience with him. I let him attend nursery only for the social interaction.

Its great that your girl can learn well in her kindergarten 😄 It is worth it if she is progressing well. I knew someone who spent more than $2000 a month on his girl, but still complaining that she does not know much.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7197https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7197Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:44:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:49:40 GMT]]>

tamarind:
kaitlynangelica,

My kids only go to Chinese enrichment class once a week on Saturday only, 1 hour 45 minutes 😄 During weekdays, they only attend nursery/kindergarten in the afternoon, no other enrichment classes.

My concern is that the child will not get any rest if she attends morning and afternoon kindergarten everyday. I think full day childcare is still relatively better, because they have nap time in the afternoon.
HI Tamarind,

You are really good! I had a quick look at your blog. You teach your kids so well! I tried teaching my k1 gal but found it difficult so I bit the bullet and sent her off to a more expensive kindergarten this year. She has improved but i wish that I could have taught her myself. Would have saved so much money. It's because of the financial factor that all these years, I have hesitated to have a 2nd kid. Really ex if you want to send them off to expensive schools like Pat's and all the enrichment classes. I know of pp who spend 1k a mth on each child and they really stretch themselves!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7184https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7184Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:49:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:41:00 GMT]]>kaitlynangelica,

My kids only go to Chinese enrichment class once a week on Saturday only, 1 hour 45 minutes 😄 During weekdays, they only attend nursery/kindergarten in the afternoon, no other enrichment classes.

My concern is that the child will not get any rest if she attends morning and afternoon kindergarten everyday. I think full day childcare is still relatively better, because they have nap time in the afternoon.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7181https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7181Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:41:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:24:52 GMT]]>

tamarind:
jedamum,

I thought a child that age should still be taking afternoon naps ? It will be very tiring to attend classes both in the morning and afternoon. My girl's K1 class is 4 hours long, I cannot imagine if she does another 4 hours in the morning.

A child should have time for free play. Staying at home with the maid or grandparents do not mean they are doing nothing. They can learn a lot of things through free play.
Hi tamarind,

I tot you mentioned you gal also does attend some enrichment class in the afternoon? I had a friend who's kids attended PCF in the morning and then attended enrichment from Mon to Fri in the afternoon. The maid ferried them by taxi.

Also, the kid tends to pick up a lot of bad grammar from the maid and sometimes the grandparents as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7179https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7179Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:24:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:07:30 GMT]]>jedamum,

I thought a child that age should still be taking afternoon naps ? It will be very tiring to attend classes both in the morning and afternoon. My girl’s K1 class is 4 hours long, I cannot imagine if she does another 4 hours in the morning.

A child should have time for free play. Staying at home with the maid or grandparents do not mean they are doing nothing. They can learn a lot of things through free play.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7177https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7177Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:07:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 06:40:31 GMT]]>

tamarind:

fo12eal:

2. Having K1 lesson in 2 different place. Morning and Noon session

:shock: Shocking. I wonder how a child can survive this ?

tamarind,
this is not uncommon. it is similar to childcare arrangement too, except that it is cheaper and that the mum/maid need to send and fetch twice a day. if you consider the workload of some pcf or kindergarten (that some of us claimed is not doing enough for academic preparations), it may not be stressful for the kid to attend both sessions.
to some parents, it sure beats leaving the kids at home with the maid.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7166https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7166Tue, 09 Sep 2008 06:40:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:01:13 GMT]]>\"kiasu\" means \"scared of losing\" in Chinese. Many parents are scared of losing to their friends and relatives. The biggest problem is when parents start to compare their kids. They become kiasu.


Teaching the child new knowledge and skills, simply to enrich the child's life, is not being kiasu. If the child is capable to learn to read at 1 year old, then teaching him at this age is also not being kiasu.

fo12eal:
2. Having K1 lesson in 2 different place. Morning and Noon session
:shock: Shocking. I wonder how a child can survive this ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7153https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7153Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:01:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:27:19 GMT]]>

super_dad:
We do need to be good models for our children. 🙂

I strongly agree on this.
Recently, my boy has been 'picking' on my 'double-standards'....ie why I asked him to let his younger brother watch dvd when he is in the midst of his tv programme and that I refuse to let the younger brother watch dvd when I am in the midst of watching my tv programme. :roll:
Cannot bring him shopping too...ie 'why mummy said she like the dress she can buy, why mummy said didi like the book, can buy, but why I said I like the toys, I cannot buy.' :roll:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7142https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7142Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:27:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:47:23 GMT]]>Kiasu:-


1. Just because your cousin’s children learn piano, you also want your child(ren) to learn even though they might not be interested. Worst of all, add in another one - violin lesson

2. Having K1 lesson in 2 different place. Morning and Noon session

3. Just because you hear say this enrichment lesson is good (thanks to media or even kiasu friend or colleages say so) you send your children there too.

4. Before baby is born, already enroll baby for a programme age 6mth to 18mth (on waiting list) to a branded play group.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7139https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/7139Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:47:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:50:34 GMT]]>Yes, indeed....we need to not forget that the person that has the most influence in our children's life is ourselves. We do need to be good models for our children. 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1106https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1106Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:50:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to What is being a KiasuParent? on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:16:47 GMT]]>which caring parent is not kiasu? of course if kiasu to the extend of irritating the person next to you, then cannot la.

we all want the best for our child. we want our child to be successful in life so that some parents can basked in glory, others to so called reaped the returns from the "investment" and some simply know that they have done the right thing. Well, I guess most parents have a mixture of the above.
Me? I just wish my girl does her best. If her best means she’s in the middle of the pack, so be it, there are plenty of other options these days, unlike our time where academic means almost everything.
We as parents will now what is the potential of our kids. We as husband and wives should also watch out for each other to ensure we do not kill the flame in the child early.
Most important, we should be good models to our child.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1093https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1093Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:16:47 GMT