<![CDATA[Home alone]]>Hi,

(sorry if you are reading this a second time. First time posted in the wrong category)

Is there anyone out there whose kid – going onto sec 1 is left on his own during the day as both parents are working?
Mine will be left on his own and am getting a bit worried as there are too many feedback about them going ‘wild’ at this age onward. None of his grandparents are nearby and they are too old to keep an eye on him. Getting a helper is out. Day-care is also out as he resent that idea, being a ‘big’ boy now. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated?

worried

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/1461/home-aloneRSS for NodeWed, 29 Apr 2026 22:24:03 GMTMon, 24 Nov 2008 05:51:07 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 11 Dec 2010 14:14:55 GMT]]>

peh-boo:
kids alone at home are dangerous - exposed to all kinds of dangerous temptations.

nowsday with easy access to internet u never know what he/she is looking at - ya we're talking about porn sites.
and when u got a 'big' boy or girl alone at home...the risk is even much higher.
Here's what I want to say and I'll be honest and candid about it.

\"Kids alone are dangerous?\"

How? Is there any supporting evidence?

The behaviour of a child is determined by his surroundings. At birth, every child is smart. It is whether he realises that gift in him that will determine his future. If you trust your child, why bother installing a cctv? Or from a security point of view, install it at the door area? If you install a cctv for the sole purpose of monitoring your child, you probably don't trust him/her. Of course, you can argue that first impressions don't count, but if you really believe in your child, you won't think about that.

I believe internet control is not of any use. many parents say that kids these days are getting smarter. In what way? In 'overriding' parental control. Reason? Not enough education at young age. By installing parental control to block porn sites but not telling them why, it's like telling them \"you're not allowed to access this site cos you're not.\"

I wish I could say more but for some reason I cannot explain. I believe there is no way to know everything your child is doing. If he/she is smart enough, and offended enough, sooner or later they'll get around the system. That's why I believe in educating them from young, not set up s bunch of roadblocks and filters as they grow. Of course, I don't think that it's WRONG to install parental control / cctv. It's really a matter of trust and education, and again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

JM2C.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/312043https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/312043Sat, 11 Dec 2010 14:14:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 11 Dec 2010 00:52:41 GMT]]>

peh-boo:
when u got a 'big' boy or girl alone at home...the risk is even much higher.

Care to share more ... ?

Are internet parental control, CCTV sufficient to ensure their safety? Anymore techonology of good use ? For any kids below 10 , not advisable to be homealone

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311868https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311868Sat, 11 Dec 2010 00:52:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 10 Dec 2010 09:50:47 GMT]]>kids alone at home are dangerous - exposed to all kinds of dangerous temptations.

nowsday with easy access to internet u never know what he/she is looking at - ya we’re talking about porn sites.
and when u got a ‘big’ boy or girl alone at home…the risk is even much higher.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311701https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311701Fri, 10 Dec 2010 09:50:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 10 Dec 2010 09:35:51 GMT]]>

sky12_:
jedamum:

[quote=\"insider\"]
Discussing this for the fun of it.

It will be much cheaper to just install CCTV at home - but then again, will the kid question that the act of installing CCTV is like you are not trusting them to act responsibly?

I am a student myself and I have been quite responsible when I am at home alone these few years, I can say without any signs of guilty. However, I will feel somehow angry if my parents install cctv to watch on me at home. I believe that most of my classmates and I will want to have some privacy, even though we are not doing anything stupid or foolish at home. The privacy sort of makes me trust my parents that they will respect me in whatever I do. Of course, they install cctv to be safe, but imagine...
After a few months or years thinking that your parents trust you enough,you find out that they had installed cctv at home to watch on you.
How will you feel?
For me, I will feel betrayed( in a sense, not literally.)[/quote]How about from the security point of view. I remember a news recently about this young guy having a CCTV at home and he make it a point to check his home every day when at work. One day, to his horror, when he is viewing his home, he saw a thief break into and searching through his home. If a child is left alone at home same security measure is needed, don't you think so? don't CCTV is there to install at your room to watch the child's privacy.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311694https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311694Fri, 10 Dec 2010 09:35:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 10:13:41 GMT]]>

jedamum:
insider:


Discussing this for the fun of it.

It will be much cheaper to just install CCTV at home - but then again, will the kid question that the act of installing CCTV is like you are not trusting them to act responsibly?

I am a student myself and I have been quite responsible when I am at home alone these few years, I can say without any signs of guilty. However, I will feel somehow angry if my parents install cctv to watch on me at home. I believe that most of my classmates and I will want to have some privacy, even though we are not doing anything stupid or foolish at home. The privacy sort of makes me trust my parents that they will respect me in whatever I do. Of course, they install cctv to be safe, but imagine...
After a few months or years thinking that your parents trust you enough,you find out that they had installed cctv at home to watch on you.
How will you feel?
For me, I will feel betrayed( in a sense, not literally.)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311215https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311215Thu, 09 Dec 2010 10:13:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Wed, 20 Oct 2010 01:59:47 GMT]]>

softcoach:
My 2 girls (P5 & P4) are currently in a Student Care centre near their school. I am thinking of pulling them out and leaving them alone at home after their exams in Oct/Nov. We do not have a maid or any other help to look after them. Appreciate any advice on how I can help my girls get ready to be alone and independant. They have been in a BASC since N2.

Hi Softcoach,
Just wanted to share with you my experience. Because both parents working and we decided against maid. I put my child in PCF student care since Primary 1. But by the time DS is in Primary 6, he wanted more independence. Many times during school holidays and especially after PSLE, he would rather stay at home on his own. Sometimes request to go to friends place nearby.

I believed many parents also faced the same situation. By the time they reached Primary 6, your kid doen't want to be in student care any more. They think they are old enough to take care of themselves.

My DS is totally against installing camera at home. By the time they are Primary 6 to Secondary 1 they are very sensitive and have a mind of their own.

By the time my DS is in Sec one in a SAP school. His normal school hours end at 2.30pm. Except Wed 1.30pm. His CCA two times per week, up to about 6.30pm. Sometimes he has CIP, remedial class, enrichment class etc. Stay back to do project work.

He takes an hour to reach home, plus shower, take lunch.
Do his homework. Then take a rest. By this time we are home already.
At night we will guide him if he needs help with his homework.

Secondary school is very different from Primary school. School hours are long with many homework plus project work. Looking at the schedule, your kid will not have much time after school.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/279023https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/279023Wed, 20 Oct 2010 01:59:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Tue, 19 Oct 2010 04:04:35 GMT]]>

MdmKS:
My DS1 has been home alone after school since sec 1. I find it is not a big issue when he is alone. He usually spend his time taking a nap in the afternoon then do some homework. But with my DS2 going to sec1 next year, I am really worried they may fight or disturb each other,.. and result in any injuries when noone else is at home to stop any unforeseen circumstances in time. Have thot of getting a maid but was told not convenience when both are teenage boys. Would appreciate if someone can provide advise and alternative other than quitting my job.

With so many activities in sec life, the time your DS1 and DS2 stay together at home in the afternoon should not be very long right?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/278544https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/278544Tue, 19 Oct 2010 04:04:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:21:19 GMT]]>My DS1 has been home alone after school since sec 1. I find it is not a big issue when he is alone. He usually spend his time taking a nap in the afternoon then do some homework. But with my DS2 going to sec1 next year, I am really worried they may fight or disturb each other,… and result in any injuries when noone else is at home to stop any unforeseen circumstances in time. Have thot of getting a maid but was told not convenience when both are teenage boys. Would appreciate if someone can provide advise and alternative other than quitting my job.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/277427https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/277427Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:21:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 15 Oct 2010 13:19:12 GMT]]>My 2 girls (P5 & P4) are currently in a Student Care centre near their school. I am thinking of pulling them out and leaving them alone at home after their exams in Oct/Nov. We do not have a maid or any other help to look after them. Appreciate any advice on how I can help my girls get ready to be alone and independant. They have been in a BASC since N2.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/277359https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/277359Fri, 15 Oct 2010 13:19:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:27:33 GMT]]>I agree with daisyt, the teenagers need much more attentions than the the time when they are younger.


CCTV, nagging, spot check are not going to work…

I used to send my girl to before/after school care centre in her first 4 years in primary school. She requested to quit,she told me that the BASC was for young kids and she was able to take care of herself… so I don’t think the teenagers would want to go for the ‘club’ and they have so many CCAs in school, in fact also limited time in the afternoon.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/26377https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/26377Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:27:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:00:27 GMT]]>I guess we still unable to find \"youth club\" not because of the fees. The responsibility is greater than child care. Imagine you have very rebellious youth or very emo youth in this club. Its not easy to handle these youth. I find that youth need more attention from parents and adults compare to little kids. And their behaviour change very fast, eg. mood swing, emoing for no reason, charcter change or influence by others. Then there is BG relationship issue, eg. crush, admire ...


There are parents, giving up working life to stay at home for their tweens / teenage children. Some regretted not paying enough attention when they were young and hence now become rebel or lost the family bonding. Some believed in freedom in the past, now regretted.

Bascially it voice down to .... youth are not easy to handle, need a lot of attention, patience, time, monitoring, \"spying\" .... :roll: 😄

Saw this article on CNN website to share with all
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/04/20/monitoring.kids.cellphones/index.html

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/26335https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/26335Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:00:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:00:37 GMT]]>

insider:

Discussing this for the fun of it.
It will be much cheaper to just install CCTV at home - but then again, will the kid question that the act of installing CCTV is like you are not trusting them to act responsibly?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/24613https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/24613Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:00:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:23:56 GMT]]>I’m not sure whether this thread is still active. Anyway, I also have the same concern of leaving my child when he reaches Secondary 1. He has been with childcare/studentcare since 18 months. And I understand from his current studentcare that they will not be too willing to even accept upper primary school children as many of them are rebellious at that age.


So, it’s also a headache for me. And I will not trust my child to be alone at home. Who knows what he is going to do either alone or bringing his friends home. You will never be sure as children at that age are growing up finding their identity and looking for their independence.

I’m not sure whether can send the child for enrichment and tuition they just to occupy his time… ? Personally I don’t think it’s wise as they need play time too.

Hope there is a way out when he reaches Sec 1, which is another 3 more years ago… 😞

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23872https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23872Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:23:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 27 Dec 2008 16:15:04 GMT]]>

Zann:
Hi ChiefKiasu,

May I know if you monitor them under the care of a maid or them alone at home?
With maid of course. My kids too young to be by themselves.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13055https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13055Sat, 27 Dec 2008 16:15:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:55:10 GMT]]>[quote]I've been using a webcam to monitor my kids at home for the past 8 years. Only 3 words to say -> peace of mind.[/quote]
Hi ChiefKiasu,
May I know if you monitor them under the care of a maid or them alone at home?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13051https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13051Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:55:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:52:20 GMT]]>

Zann:
Any mum and dad tried use web camera / cctv to monitor your kid home alone while you are at work, for safety reason or whatsoever ? How is it going? Otherwise, will you consider this arrangement ? Why?

I've been using a webcam to monitor my kids at home for the past 8 years. Only 3 words to say -> peace of mind.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13049https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13049Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:52:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:43:01 GMT]]>Any mum and dad tried use web camera / cctv to monitor your kid home alone while you are at work, for safety reason or whatsoever ? How is it going? Otherwise, will you consider this arrangement ? Why?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13048https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/13048Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:43:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:27:19 GMT]]>agrees it really depend on the child. For my self, I think I start staying home alone after school since P6. Frankly speaking, I enjoy my time alone at home very much.


It gives me lots of freedom to do what I want at home from reading wu xia novels and comics to listening to those pop songs that my mum disapproves ha ha. Home alone is also great to chit chat with friends on the phone for hours…

So I guess as long as there is not much worries of the kid mixing with bad company after school there should not be that much worries. But even if there is someone at home, it will not help when the kid mix with bad companies outside though. My bro started to pay traunt in school at lower sec even though my mum purposely switch her school hours so that she is home when he is suppose to come back from school.

Personally, I feel that learning to enjoy time with oneself is really one of the live skills everyone need to learn eventually. Probably, it’s a chance to let the child experience that part of growing up and get to know the part of his character and help them become more independent.

If the kid has a chracter that dislikes being alone, then we can introduce enrichment activities /tution/ etc. I remember by the time I come home from school it is usually about 1pm, After lunch and reading newspaper and home work, there is probably only about 2-3 hours before someone comes home. Minus piano lessons, tution, friday eca, there is really not that much time I get to spend alone at home.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12747https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12747Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:27:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Sat, 20 Dec 2008 03:11:52 GMT]]>Hi BlueBells


Yes, I trust my kids too. But looking back, if my parents were to know some of my friends, she might have heart attack. But these friends when they met my parents, they were of best behaviour. Their wild behaviour actually comes from their upbringing, so it’s important to get to know their families too. When I say, it depends on the kids characteristics, some kids can be easily influence & some don’t.

I’ll make an effort to have a chat with the MP. Not sure if it is feasible but it will be better if the place is in the school compound itself. I read in the newspaper sometime back that some schools have such facilities & they are manage by teachers. That will save cost & prevent unscrupulous entrepreneurs into making huge profit out of necessities.

jedamum, tsk, tsk, tsk. Will I be seeing franchise of "Jedamum After School Care Centre For Teenagers" in a few years time? :mrgreen:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12726https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12726Sat, 20 Dec 2008 03:11:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:46:05 GMT]]>Hm...a good 'business opportunity' for would-be entreprenuar.... 😄

how much will you be willing to pay?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12716https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12716Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:46:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 01:12:37 GMT]]>jzapple,


I definitely trust my kids, it's their friends to be that I might not trust, which is where I worry the influence might come from, given that they will probably spend more time with her friends in due time.

EN,

Ya, I think I will act on it and look up the MP. The reason I am being so kiasu now is because I know things like these takes time to materialise. I want to allow time for it to happen to benefit my kids too. 🙂

Well, if parents who read my idea support it, maybe you can consider speaking to your respective MP too. Unity is strength. If there are many parents who root for the same idea across the island, it will be channel up via various MPs to the next level.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12637https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12637Fri, 19 Dec 2008 01:12:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:58:32 GMT]]>BlueBells wrote [quote]I am contemplating meeting the MP for my zone to propose this idea for him to bring it up another level .... should I?[/quote]
Good idea! Please do. My ds has started to stay at home for an hour or so. But once she hits secondary school, I'm planning to do what I advise earlier. I used to be home alone since P5. But, really it all depends on the child character.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12608https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12608Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:58:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Thu, 18 Dec 2008 10:20:39 GMT]]>

BlueBells:
I have the same worries, but my kid is only P3 next year. hahaha ... i am super kiasu .. :oops:


Anyway, I have gone one step further - I wrote in to MCYS, and propose they consider / conduct feasibility studies on setting up youth clubs catering to teenagers from 13 - 16 / 17. The idea is to have a supervised environment for the kids to study and bond with other teenagers of their age group, more like a supervised study room with lunch and shower facilities provided, actually. Dr Vivian B. replied they will explore this idea, but I am not even sure if it is in the works yet.

I am contemplating meeting the MP for my zone to propose this idea for him to bring it up another level .... should I?
That was a good idea ! I am also worried but I think that it is a trust between a parent and a child.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12586https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12586Thu, 18 Dec 2008 10:20:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Home alone on Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:27:41 GMT]]>I have the same worries, but my kid is only P3 next year. hahaha ... i am super kiasu .. :oops:


Anyway, I have gone one step further - I wrote in to MCYS, and propose they consider / conduct feasibility studies on setting up youth clubs catering to teenagers from 13 - 16 / 17. The idea is to have a supervised environment for the kids to study and bond with other teenagers of their age group, more like a supervised study room with lunch and shower facilities provided, actually. Dr Vivian B. replied they will explore this idea, but I am not even sure if it is in the works yet.

I am contemplating meeting the MP for my zone to propose this idea for him to bring it up another level .... should I?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12570https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12570Thu, 18 Dec 2008 09:27:41 GMT