<![CDATA[How to prepare your child for a sibling?]]>My hubby and I are trying for a 2nd kid. Our boy is now 4 and we have been talking to him to mentally prepare him for a sibling. Sometimes he’s keen on the idea and says he wants a little brother to play with. But on other days, he gets a bit insecure and says he doesn’t want a sibling and asks why we want another one. Is this a common reaction and how should we deal with it?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/15829/how-to-prepare-your-child-for-a-siblingRSS for NodeSat, 18 Apr 2026 10:36:54 GMTSat, 13 Nov 2010 03:24:18 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Sat, 27 Nov 2010 12:33:45 GMT]]>

MummyThreeStreams:
When DS2 arrived, and DS1 went to the hospital to see us for the first time, we made it a point to (a) not have DS2 in the room with me when DS1 arrived, but for him and DH to go to the nursery to collect him (b) have gifts for DS1 \"from\" DS2 (c) allow him to explore, touch and kiss DS2 with us.

Gee, good suggestion, will remember!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304458https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304458Sat, 27 Nov 2010 12:33:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:53:53 GMT]]>

Fuzz:
When he was younger, he would sometimes even get jealous when hubby and I are lovey dovey and would squeeze himself between us and ask me/hubby for a hug, or to read him a book or something. He doesn't do that anymore, phew!

DS1 does something similar! Whenever DH and I are sharing a hug, he'll run up between us and ask for a group hug!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302895https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302895Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:53:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:40:13 GMT]]>

cherrygal:
Well, it's perfectly normal esp for those in their twos and threes to regress with jealousy... You gotta give the elder one individual time. When my dh is home, he takes the baby out for a long walk after dinner. That's the time I spend with my elder son. We could be watching TV, doing assessment books or just talk about his day. For younger kids, you could read them a book, cuddle or just take them out for ice cream.


Speaking abt regression, even my 6yo son wanted to play with the baby toys! I just tell him that he will get baby toys for Christmas since he wants to be a baby... He stopped straightaway.
Haha nice move!!

Yeah even now my boy likes to have individual time with me and also with his daddy. So it's good to remember that especially when no. 2 arrives. When he was younger, he would sometimes even get jealous when hubby and I are lovey dovey and would squeeze himself between us and ask me/hubby for a hug, or to read him a book or something. He doesn't do that anymore, phew!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302865https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302865Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:40:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:35:19 GMT]]>

jedamum:
MummyThreeStreams:


When DS2 arrived, and DS1 went to the hospital to see us for the first time, we made it a point to (a) not have DS2 in the room with me when DS1 arrived, but for him and DH to go to the nursery to collect him (b) have gifts for DS1 \"from\" DS2 (c) allow him to explore, touch and kiss DS2 with us.

We also got the grandparents to come help to either play with him during , or to help me take care of DS2 while I spent time with DS1.

MummyThreeStreams,
I did exactly the same as above. 😎

Thanks for the tips, really useful!! Will definitely keep these in mind.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302855https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/302855Fri, 26 Nov 2010 01:35:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Thu, 25 Nov 2010 03:10:40 GMT]]>Yup, my son knows we can only play with him (quietly) when meimei sleeps. So he is very cooperative when it’s time for her to nap. He would turn down the volume on the TV and even tell everyone to hush.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/301215https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/301215Thu, 25 Nov 2010 03:10:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Wed, 24 Nov 2010 04:09:44 GMT]]>

Fuzz:
Funz:

When the baby 1st arrives, the older child may not show much reaction cos the baby is sleeping most of the time. When the baby is about 3-4mths old, that is when they start feeling the impact of having a sibling more. They start getting clingy to mummy, wanting mummy to do everything for them when in the past they are perfectly ok with others helping them. They may even start regressing, peeing in their pants, wanting their milk bottle, revert back to baby speak, wanting to be carried all the time, wanting to be fed their meals. And they will also suddenly find baby toys more interesting then their own age appropriate toys.


Yes that's happening with my friend's son! She was complaining that he started baby talking again (he's 3 and baby sister is 5 months) and he often wants to be carried and fed, especially at times when his sister is being fed. Before this, he always wanted to feed himself and do things on his own.

So based on your experience, what's the best way to deal with this?

I dun have a 'best way' to deal with this. This is a phase that they will eventually get over. Understand that their behaviour stems from being insecure and be patient with them. It can get frustrating with 2 kiddos demanding your attention. So like what some mummies here mentioned, get daddy to take the baby so that you can have some uninterupted time with #1. Let him know that this is your special time with him and baby needs his/her special time with you as well. They will eventually learn that the sooner mummy can settle baby, the more time mummy can have with me. And when mummy is tied up with baby, get daddy to spend special time with #1.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300476https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300476Wed, 24 Nov 2010 04:09:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Wed, 24 Nov 2010 00:44:01 GMT]]>

cherrygal:


Speaking abt regression, even my 6yo son wanted to play with the baby toys! I just tell him that he will get baby toys for Christmas since he wants to be a baby... He stopped straightaway.
Haha! Good one!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300253https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300253Wed, 24 Nov 2010 00:44:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:09:09 GMT]]>

Fuzz:
Yes that's happening with my friend's son! She was complaining that he started baby talking again (he's 3 and baby sister is 5 months) and he often wants to be carried and fed, especially at times when his sister is being fed. Before this, he always wanted to feed himself and do things on his own.


So based on your experience, what's the best way to deal with this?
Well, it's perfectly normal esp for those in their twos and threes to regress with jealousy... You gotta give the elder one individual time. When my dh is home, he takes the baby out for a long walk after dinner. That's the time I spend with my elder son. We could be watching TV, doing assessment books or just talk about his day. For younger kids, you could read them a book, cuddle or just take them out for ice cream.

Speaking abt regression, even my 6yo son wanted to play with the baby toys! I just tell him that he will get baby toys for Christmas since he wants to be a baby... He stopped straightaway.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300206https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/300206Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:09:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:07:03 GMT]]>

jedamum:
mummyJune:

im not really sure how to prepare my son for his meimei. my son now is 17mths+, my no.2 is due nxt april. now he is very clingly to my husband cos my husband bring him to & fro my inlaws place daily & due to my big tummy i cant carry him too long also. but i always hug him & pat him to sleep every night.


most of the time after work & wkends i will spend time reading/playing with him but he still want my husband more.

it is good that your boy cling to your husband....cos you will be busy with the newborn next April. so what's your concern??

cos he wants his daddy more than mummy, like he dun wan me this mummy..(tink i might be too sensitive) 😞

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299695https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299695Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:07:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:04:04 GMT]]>

mummyJune:
im not really sure how to prepare my son for his meimei. my son now is 17mths+, my no.2 is due nxt april. now he is very clingly to my husband cos my husband bring him to & fro my inlaws place daily & due to my big tummy i cant carry him too long also. but i always hug him & pat him to sleep every night.


most of the time after work & wkends i will spend time reading/playing with him but he still want my husband more.
it is good that your boy cling to your husband....cos you will be busy with the newborn next April. so what's your concern??

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299693https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299693Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:04:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:46:55 GMT]]>im not really sure how to prepare my son for his meimei. my son now is 17mths+, my no.2 is due nxt april. now he is very clingly to my husband cos my husband bring him to & fro my inlaws place daily & due to my big tummy i cant carry him too long also. but i always hug him & pat him to sleep every night.


most of the time after work & wkends i will spend time reading/playing with him but he still want my husband more.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299679https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299679Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:46:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:17:41 GMT]]>

jedamum:
MummyThreeStreams:


When DS2 arrived, and DS1 went to the hospital to see us for the first time, we made it a point to (a) not have DS2 in the room with me when DS1 arrived, but for him and DH to go to the nursery to collect him (b) have gifts for DS1 \"from\" DS2 (c) allow him to explore, touch and kiss DS2 with us.

We also got the grandparents to come help to either play with him during , or to help me take care of DS2 while I spent time with DS1.

MummyThreeStreams,
I did exactly the same as above. 😎

Tried and tested! 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299581https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299581Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:17:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:46:05 GMT]]>

MummyThreeStreams:

When DS2 arrived, and DS1 went to the hospital to see us for the first time, we made it a point to (a) not have DS2 in the room with me when DS1 arrived, but for him and DH to go to the nursery to collect him (b) have gifts for DS1 \"from\" DS2 (c) allow him to explore, touch and kiss DS2 with us.

We also got the grandparents to come help to either play with him during , or to help me take care of DS2 while I spent time with DS1.
MummyThreeStreams,
I did exactly the same as above. 😎

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299432https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299432Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:46:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 13:59:59 GMT]]>I think I’m quite fortunate. DS1 adapted to the arrival of DS2 quite well. He was 3 when DS2 arrived. We spoke about DS2 very matter of factly - and let DS1 talk to DS2 in my tummy. He would always ask to kiss and hug him even before DS2 was born. I think at that stage, he was generally very fascinated with all babies, so he was looking forward to having a baby of his own (yes, we referred to DS2 as OUR baby, so DS1 felt some ownership).


When DS2 arrived, and DS1 went to the hospital to see us for the first time, we made it a point to (a) not have DS2 in the room with me when DS1 arrived, but for him and DH to go to the nursery to collect him (b) have gifts for DS1 "from" DS2 © allow him to explore, touch and kiss DS2 with us.

We also got the grandparents to come help to either play with him during , or to help me take care of DS2 while I spent time with DS1.

I also attribute the easy transition to breastfeeding. I continued breastfeeding DS1 thru pregnancy and when DS2 arrived. This "forced" me to spend 1-on-1 time with him several times a day, so he could still get that closeness and comfort from me and not get forgotten amidst the busy-ness of the new baby. Also, my milk supply received a huge boost with DS2’s birth, so DS1 associated DS2’s arrival with extra bountiful supplies of milk!

Now we’re expecting another baby. So far the two older ones appear to be quite excited and positive about it. But I’m not taking anything for granted, especially for DS1 who is older, and who may feel the changes more this time round. We’ve talked to him about what to expect from babies (e.g. they will cry a lot. I also told him I will be tired in the earlier months and he offered to help me take care of DS2 so I could get rest!) We’ll see how it goes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299369https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299369Mon, 22 Nov 2010 13:59:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:55:54 GMT]]>

Funz:
When the baby 1st arrives, the older child may not show much reaction cos the baby is sleeping most of the time. When the baby is about 3-4mths old, that is when they start feeling the impact of having a sibling more. They start getting clingy to mummy, wanting mummy to do everything for them when in the past they are perfectly ok with others helping them. They may even start regressing, peeing in their pants, wanting their milk bottle, revert back to baby speak, wanting to be carried all the time, wanting to be fed their meals. And they will also suddenly find baby toys more interesting then their own age appropriate toys.

Yes that's happening with my friend's son! She was complaining that he started baby talking again (he's 3 and baby sister is 5 months) and he often wants to be carried and fed, especially at times when his sister is being fed. Before this, he always wanted to feed himself and do things on his own.

So based on your experience, what's the best way to deal with this?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299152https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299152Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:55:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:54:52 GMT]]>

smurf:
I called them sio pak kway (fighting chickens).


Another nickname, fighting fish.
:rotflmao:

Oh Mummy smurf :lol:

My Mommy told me that when my older brother and I were widdle, we used to fight everyday. Especially so when she buys us something. And EVEN when that new something is the EXACT same thing (size, color etc), we would find something to argue about it :roll:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299150https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299150Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:54:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:51:07 GMT]]>

buds:
Wuuaaah seh, then yah lor... you very the ONZ!

So, you live up to your name by joining this KiasuParents Forum. :lol:
Hahaha yeah kiasu and proud of it!! :lol:

Better to be safe and do what we can to prepare for it in advance! Seen a few cases of sibling rivalry and older child adjusting badly to the arrival of baby...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299148https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299148Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:51:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 02:53:32 GMT]]>Sorry for being a pessismistic. But do not have a 2nd one unless you can be sure that they dun fight.


I'm going crazy!! Both of them fight as if they are ARCH enemy! They are fighting at least 30 times in a normal day. Even when dun have toys to snatch, they will also engage in verbal fight. E.g, I'm taller than u, the other one will retort, no, I'm taller! This will continue until the first one is angry, after that they will fight.

See? Nothing for them to fight, they will still find something to fight!

Another scenario:

there are sooo many toys lying around, when first one takes a toy and play, the other one sees that, also want THAT toy, even though there is another same toy at the other side!

:stupid: :stupid: :x :x


I called them sio pak kway (fighting chickens).

Another nickname, fighting fish.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298757https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298757Mon, 22 Nov 2010 02:53:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Mon, 22 Nov 2010 02:32:13 GMT]]>When the baby 1st arrives, the older child may not show much reaction cos the baby is sleeping most of the time. When the baby is about 3-4mths old, that is when they start feeling the impact of having a sibling more. They start getting clingy to mummy, wanting mummy to do everything for them when in the past they are perfectly ok with others helping them. They may even start regressing, peeing in their pants, wanting their milk bottle, revert back to baby speak, wanting to be carried all the time, wanting to be fed their meals. And they will also suddenly find baby toys more interesting then their own age appropriate toys.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298740https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298740Mon, 22 Nov 2010 02:32:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Sun, 21 Nov 2010 15:40:11 GMT]]>

jedamum:
kingster:

my 2nd one is also coming soon and my 1st son is still so \"selfish\". ask him want to share this or that in future with his sibling he will say this is his... hai....


the newborn will not be able to 'share' your firstborn's toys until like 12mths later. so for the time being, leave 'share this with your bro/sis' scenerio out of the firstborn's head first. i did not tell ds1 to share toys with ds2. i even separate their belongings. ds1 has his own space to do his own toys and he was entitled to his right of not sharing his things with ds2 cos ds2 breaks stuff easily. however, i share ds2's stuff with ds1; eg ds1 is free to play ds2's toys but ds1 has his choice of what toys is out of bounds to ds2. eventually, as the bond builds up, ds1 is less sticky about ds2 touching his stuff (although i get the blame if ds2 breaks his stuff accidentally).

Yup, I don't tell DS to share. I just tell him to allow her to hold the toys for a while. DD has her own toys and guess wat, DS prefers to play with her cooking toys! He's perfectly fine with her holding his ultramen etc. I warn DS to keep his important stuff eg books, school items and precious toys and it's his responsibility to protect them from DD. It's his fault if DD tears them up... ahhahaha

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298603https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298603Sun, 21 Nov 2010 15:40:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 19 Nov 2010 14:36:33 GMT]]>

kingster:
my 2nd one is also coming soon and my 1st son is still so \"selfish\". ask him want to share this or that in future with his sibling he will say this is his... hai....

the newborn will not be able to 'share' your firstborn's toys until like 12mths later. so for the time being, leave 'share this with your bro/sis' scenerio out of the firstborn's head first. i did not tell ds1 to share toys with ds2. i even separate their belongings. ds1 has his own space to do his own toys and he was entitled to his right of not sharing his things with ds2 cos ds2 breaks stuff easily. however, i share ds2's stuff with ds1; eg ds1 is free to play ds2's toys but ds1 has his choice of what toys is out of bounds to ds2. eventually, as the bond builds up, ds1 is less sticky about ds2 touching his stuff (although i get the blame if ds2 breaks his stuff accidentally).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297849https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297849Fri, 19 Nov 2010 14:36:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 19 Nov 2010 05:09:43 GMT]]>my 2nd one is also coming soon and my 1st son is still so "selfish". ask him want to share this or that in future with his sibling he will say this is his… hai…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297501https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297501Fri, 19 Nov 2010 05:09:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 19 Nov 2010 04:46:35 GMT]]>

Fuzz:
Not yet, we are still in the process of trying for 2nd one! So I'm being kiasu, hehe. Thanks for the good advice! At least we are more mentally prepared for these things if they happen!!

Wuuaaah seh, then yah lor... you very the ONZ!
So, you live up to your name by joining this KiasuParents Forum. :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297490https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297490Fri, 19 Nov 2010 04:46:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to prepare your child for a sibling? on Fri, 19 Nov 2010 04:31:27 GMT]]>

cherrygal:

Remember, if both need your attention, speak to the elder child first so as not to make him feel lesser than the newcomer. The baby can wait a little while as it still doesn't know what is the meaning of neglect.
Thanks, great advice!! I've seen how other friends and relatives fuss over the baby and scold the older kid when he/she acts up. I think it's just their way of trying to get some attention because they feel left out. And you're right. We often forget that the older child is more likely to feel left out than the baby, and the baby can wait a while unless it's something urgent.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297477https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297477Fri, 19 Nov 2010 04:31:27 GMT