<![CDATA[Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth?]]>Dear KS parents, would really love to hear your views on 2 issues.


I’m a preggy who will be due early next year. My 2 year old son is currently in a Montessori half day childcare (so school is not very important, just for socializing with other toddlers).

1. Do you pull your older toddler out temporary from pre-school after you gave birth?
Reason: Husband wants to withdraw DS once the new baby arrives as he fears that the older child will carry diseases from school and spread to the newborn. He is a healthcare worker and he says that should a newborn get admitted into hospital, especially within the 1st month, it’ll be a very detrimental experience (NICU, doing all sorts of invasive tests & scans etc). He says it’s not worth the risk as there’s no added advantage for my older son to continue school due to his young age. He can go back school a few months later.

However, today, the school teachers advised me that by pulling my son out from school, it’s going to be very hard for him to ‘re-start’ school again, as he’ll feel ‘unwanted’ and will affect his ‘emotional development’. I’m currently sitting on the fence, so should I let him stop or not to stop schooling?

2. Do you let the older toddler stay with you during ‘做月’ or do you let him stay with grandparents so that you can have more rest?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/16062/should-ds-stop-schooling-after-i-gave-birthRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 21:50:11 GMTThu, 18 Nov 2010 09:52:48 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Mon, 29 Nov 2010 02:08:13 GMT]]>hee hee, just the opposite, i arranged for my toddler to start half day school just before bb is born so that the other caregivers would have a break and can concentrate on the baby for half a day from then onwards…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305394https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305394Mon, 29 Nov 2010 02:08:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Mon, 29 Nov 2010 01:21:42 GMT]]>1. I didn’t pull ds1 out of school, but I completely disagree with the childcare teacher. I don’t think you need to consider that at all when making your decision.


2. I don’t think your dh is paranoid. It’s just that he is more aware of the risks. We have a friend who work in the police force and sees cases of accidental deaths. He doesn’t allow his children to eat peanuts at all when they are young because of cases of choking he has personally attended to. My excolleague’s father is a doctor. When SARS first broke out but was yet unannounced, he called her and ordered her home immediately from work.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305342https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305342Mon, 29 Nov 2010 01:21:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Sun, 28 Nov 2010 15:57:29 GMT]]>Hi


Had 3 boys and all attend full day CCs. Continued with school for elder kids when no. 2 and no. 3 was born respectively.

First thing when kids come home from school - take a bath!! First thing when dh came home from work - take a bath!!

Dont think it is that big an issue such that it will warrant "full stay at home for the kids" - but ultimately guess its a personal decision.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305192https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/305192Sun, 28 Nov 2010 15:57:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Sat, 27 Nov 2010 17:18:02 GMT]]>Hi Little Cheng Mommy,

My elder son is also in childcare and each time I receive an sms from his principal about some kid contracting HFMD, I tell me husband to bathe him in our own home before returning to my mom’s place where we are staying with the baby. His school clothes are washed separately and the schoolbag is not allowed into the house. We would also tell my son not to go near the baby.

I explain to him that it is extremely expensive to take the baby to the PD and should she fall sick becoz of him, the doc’s fees will eat into my budget for toys. He’s been quite obedient and stays in his room if he’s not well.

Since your kid is so young, go ahead to keep him home. It will not affect his ability to return to school later. Kids make friends very easily.

Totally understand where your dh is coming from. I was also paranoid about diseases while I was pregnant. I think that’s an even more dangerous period coz the foetus is forming. During my pregnancy, I went to stay with my mom for a week when my son had a schoolmate with HFMD. Kiasi and kiasu.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304588https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304588Sat, 27 Nov 2010 17:18:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:58:49 GMT]]>

DesertWind:
LOLMum:

for both births, i make sure i stayed in hospital for a week so that i have sufficient rest and know that my baby is in the good hands of the nurses.


Hi LOLMum,
Wah, can meh? I mean stay in hospital for one week? Thought they will chase you out if everything is OK after 3 days. Do you need any excuse or what reason you gave?
:celebrate:

hi, for dd, i was unable to detect any movement in my stomach for a whole day (at that time, zhou yuan fett's wife lost her baby whose cord was curled round her neck while in the womb) so was rushed to hospital for checkup. though fine but decided to have c-section. dd was due in 1-2 weeks. with dr's help, stayed in hospital for about 5 days.

for ds, he had jaundice. didnt want to travel to and fro between home and hospital, so asked to stay till ds got the okay from dr. end up staying for 7 days. gosh, i remember feeling a bit sad when i had to leave. the staff was fantastic and food was good and i got plenty of rest.

no, didnt encounter any chaseoff by hospital staff.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304583https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/304583Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:58:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 06:24:21 GMT]]>

The Little Cheng Mommy:
BeautifulLife, thank you for sharing. I can fully understand the stress and pain you and family had gone through. My son had a skull fracture (which led to bleeding in brain & required blood transfusion) and pneumonia when he popped out.


My husband's paranoid decision was also due to a recent incident whereby his colleague's schooling daughter contracted some bugs from CC, which in turn infected the 1 week old younger daughter. The baby was then warded into NICU for 2 weeks and subsequently HD. I know this is very rare, I think DH just doesn't want to take the potential risks.

Zenga, ya, i agree about the over reacting part too. Sigh. I also feel 'paisei' that I have to ask for opinions . :oops:

My mom refuses to come to my home for my confinement le, what to do? I can't leave my 1st son with paternal grandparents as he's already super jealous now about having a baby brother (always beat & push my tummy). So I have to tag the sons and helper to her home lor. You're so lucky to have an elder daughter who dotes on the 'mei mei'.
Guess prevention is better than cure. Before my wife and me have the 2nd child, we were also very worried that my elder daughter will feel jealous. During my wife pregnancy, we keep all asking her to talk to her little sister. Let her touched the tummy movement. And the most important thing that we have done is to let her carried her new born little sister. Initially we were worried about what her reaction would be. But to the surprise of everyone, she was reluctant to let us carry her little sister away from her. Till now whenever i look back at that photo, I always felt very touch and warm.

But of course now they always fight for stuff :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299787https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299787Tue, 23 Nov 2010 06:24:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:33:25 GMT]]>BeautifulLife, thank you for sharing. I can fully understand the stress and pain you and family had gone through. My son had a skull fracture (which led to bleeding in brain & required blood transfusion) and pneumonia when he popped out.


My husband's paranoid decision was also due to a recent incident whereby his colleague's schooling daughter contracted some bugs from CC, which in turn infected the 1 week old younger daughter. The baby was then warded into NICU for 2 weeks and subsequently HD. I know this is very rare, I think DH just doesn't want to take the potential risks.

Zenga, ya, i agree about the over reacting part too. Sigh. I also feel 'paisei' that I have to ask for opinions . :oops:

My mom refuses to come to my home for my confinement le, what to do? I can't leave my 1st son with paternal grandparents as he's already super jealous now about having a baby brother (always beat & push my tummy). So I have to tag the sons and helper to her home lor. You're so lucky to have an elder daughter who dotes on the 'mei mei'.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299665https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299665Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:33:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:43:09 GMT]]>Hi The Little Cheng Mommy,


My elder ds was in N2 when my younger ds was born prematured. After 3 weeks in NICU, My younger ds was allowed to be discharged. Guess what? On that very day we brought the baby back, my elder ds contracted HFMD!!!
We confined elder ds in his room and the baby in the living room. It was the most stressful period.
Just to share.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299602https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299602Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:43:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:55:28 GMT]]>

The Little Cheng Mommy:
Thank you all for your inputs! Really appreciate them.. BUT..


I think the father is very firm in his opinion to pull him out of school, especially we do intend to switch him to a more academic-base childcare center/kindergarten when he's older. So I guess my son will be staying home for the next few months-year. And I'm gonna miss the rare quiet 3 hours at home while he's away at school (sob).

As for confinement, it's been decided that my elder son will tag along with me to my parents' place where there's ample help and also, to keep my pathologist husband from 'bringing pathogens' to his 2 precious sons. 😉 haha.

Hmm. I didn't know that one can 'request' to extend hospital stay without valid reason as occupancy in labor ward is always high. When my 1st son was born, I stayed in hospital for a week as he was admitted to NICU & High Dependency Unit for half a month. It was a very stressful period for us and hopefully, I don't need to extend my hospital stay this time round. 😃
I find it a bit over reacting here. My daughters are now 2 and 4 years old. When my 2nd daughter was born. My elder daughter still went to childcare and everyday she looks forward to see her \"mei mei\" But of course we made sure she had her shower before she can get near her. It is the same as father. We went to work and will contact germs. But most impt is to bath before we touch the baby. Of course every parent has their opinon about germs.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299571https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299571Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:55:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:19:31 GMT]]>Thank you all for your inputs! Really appreciate them.. BUT..


I think the father is very firm in his opinion to pull him out of school, especially we do intend to switch him to a more academic-base childcare center/kindergarten when he's older. So I guess my son will be staying home for the next few months-year. And I'm gonna miss the rare quiet 3 hours at home while he's away at school (sob).

As for confinement, it's been decided that my elder son will tag along with me to my parents' place where there's ample help and also, to keep my pathologist husband from 'bringing pathogens' to his 2 precious sons. 😉 haha.

Hmm. I didn't know that one can 'request' to extend hospital stay without valid reason as occupancy in labor ward is always high. When my 1st son was born, I stayed in hospital for a week as he was admitted to NICU & High Dependency Unit for half a month. It was a very stressful period for us and hopefully, I don't need to extend my hospital stay this time round. 😃

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299540https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/299540Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:19:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Sun, 21 Nov 2010 11:23:15 GMT]]>Hi LittleChengMummy,


For a start, do you notice that since your DS started the childcare, has he been falling sick more frequently? If so, your DH's concern may be valid because if the older kid is often sick, then it may affect the 2nd kid too. My own opinion is 2-plus years old is still very young really doesn't matter if you pull him out from school. But of course it will break the momentum a bit and during confinement, you will have to handle the elder child as well if he is whole day at home and may not get enough rest. For me, I tend to think that it will help if the elder child is away in school during the confinement but you will need to weigh the pros & cons plus your husband must also be supportive and agree.
All the best!
😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298501https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298501Sun, 21 Nov 2010 11:23:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Sun, 21 Nov 2010 11:16:21 GMT]]>

LOLMum:
for both births, i make sure i stayed in hospital for a week so that i have sufficient rest and know that my baby is in the good hands of the nurses.

Hi LOLMum,
Wah, can meh? I mean stay in hospital for one week? Thought they will chase you out if everything is OK after 3 days. Do you need any excuse or what reason you gave?
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298499https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/298499Sun, 21 Nov 2010 11:16:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Fri, 19 Nov 2010 05:49:26 GMT]]>Spreading of germs in the environment cannot be prevented but it can be minimized.

When your son comes back from school, ensure that he washes himself clean and change his clothes immediately.
And if he is sick, do not let him go near the baby.
Taking him out of school is disruptive.
You are not thinking of withdrawing your child or children, each time a newborn comes along…
Just my 2 cents worth.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297533https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297533Fri, 19 Nov 2010 05:49:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Thu, 18 Nov 2010 12:21:04 GMT]]>just curious, does it mean your kid will be kept at home all the time to minimise the risk of bring germs etc? as a healthcare worker, your dh should be the 1st to be banned from coming into contact with newborn then. :lol:



anyway, i do agree with your dh about the importance of keeping the newborn away from germs etc. it is lucky that your older kid is just 2 years old, a month or two break wont do him harm.

feeling 'unwanted' and will affect his 'emotional development', wow, so serious........... sorry but dont agree.

for both births, i make sure i stayed in hospital for a week so that i have sufficient rest and know that my baby is in the good hands of the nurses.

sleep as much as you could, eat well, dont get emotional easily and be happy.

:lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297111https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297111Thu, 18 Nov 2010 12:21:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Should DS stop schooling after I gave birth? on Thu, 18 Nov 2010 10:10:31 GMT]]>

The Little Cheng Mommy:
Dear KS parents, would really love to hear your views on 2 issues.


I'm a preggy who will be due early next year. My 2 year old son is currently in a Montessori half day childcare (so school is not very important, just for socializing with other toddlers).

1. Do you pull your older toddler out temporary from pre-school after you gave birth?

However, today, the school teachers advised me that by pulling my son out from school, it's going to be very hard for him to 're-start' school again, as he'll feel 'unwanted' and will affect his 'emotional development'. I'm currently sitting on the fence, so should I let him stop or not to stop schooling?

2. Do you let the older toddler stay with you during '做月' or do you let him stay with grandparents so that you can have more rest?
My son continued to go to school after daughter was born...Daughter was on full breast milk and would have immunity from it. In fact, I gave my son Milo and a little breast milk to boost his immunity and he didn't fall sick from the usual flu bug when school reopens.

I agree with what your son's teachers advised you...pulling him out from school to avoid spreading any diseases to the younger child will affect your son when he restarts school again.
Don't separate the kids during your confinement month or the older one will feel neglected and 'thrown aside'. It would be good to have the grandparents bring older child out and attend to him, in case he gets jealous.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297037https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/297037Thu, 18 Nov 2010 10:10:31 GMT