<![CDATA[toddler misbehaving only with mom!]]>Hi my DS1 is 2.5yrs old and he is a gem of a boy with everyone except me, his mom! when i am around he totally misbehaves, screams and shouts and even doesn’t eat! i really don’t know why he is like this and more importantly, its so upsetting for me. i was on leave today and he didn’t eat his bfast and lunch. i have to physically be away from him and then he will eat or sleep. otherwise he looks for me, whines and wants me - but doesn’t do a thing i suggest. sigh. what am i doing wrong - i spend a lot of time with him, more than i do with my DS2 who is one. DS1 will greet me by climbing onto the dining table when i come home. HELP!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/16754/toddler-misbehaving-only-with-momRSS for NodeFri, 17 Apr 2026 19:25:46 GMTFri, 03 Dec 2010 13:12:06 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 16:50:37 GMT]]>

Rio:
My boy at 3.5 still \"bully\" me. He refuse to eat vegetable whenever I feed him. Wants to b carried ONLY BY ME when we go out. Whines at me even when I am attending lesson with him. But he doesn't do that to my helper.

Riash, Rio...
Your kids \"bully\" you because you ALLOW them to climb over your heads. It is to their disadvantage if the parents are too soft with them. This type of pampering is not helpful for their character development. A parenting coach I met today, advised all parents to BE PARENTS, NOT FRIENDS. Exert your authority, even with the cane if necessary. Be approachable when they need to talk. However, you should not be overly friendly that they show no respect towards you.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325527https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325527Tue, 04 Jan 2011 16:50:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 16:36:46 GMT]]>Hi kboon2009

Yes, it usually gets better after three+, assuming the child is a perfectly normal kid - no asperger, ADHD etc. You just need to exert your authority as a parent during these trying times. I believe you must start to teach her what is discipline. Your job is to always mean what you say (use simple language that she understands).

If you tell her she can't have a sweet if she does not obey you, then make sure you don't give any sweets to her until she does, even if she starts crying. Don't ever flinch. Once you do, she would always use tears to get what she wants. Be consistent and firm.

Once this authority is set, the journey will be much smoother.

Today at a parenting talk, one parent shared that she has trouble getting her P1 son to stop playing multiple-player online games that are extremely violent. He absolutely refuses to switch the PC off. The counsellor advised that she must exert her authority as a parent. Move the PC to the living room, set time limits and observe them strictly. She should switch off the PC herself if he refuses. Parents must never treat their kids as lords from a young age. You must instil control and self-control from the day they understand what you are saying. It is too late once they reach their teens.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325516https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325516Tue, 04 Jan 2011 16:36:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 05:34:42 GMT]]>Hi parents

Is it true that after kids get over the terrible twos stage they will be better behaved? Easier for parents to feed and shower? My 2.7year old daughter is so naughty and active that even feeding and shower her tires me so much everyday, and leave me with no energy to do shichida home practice and read to her everyday (I’m a FTWM). She takes more than 1 hour for her meals and for showers she will run around and take her own sweet time to go into the bathroom.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325057https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325057Tue, 04 Jan 2011 05:34:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sun, 26 Dec 2010 15:23:43 GMT]]>

Rio:
My boy at 3.5 still \"bully\" me. He refuse to eat vegetable whenever I feed him. Wants to b carried ONLY BY ME when we go out. Whines at me even when I am attending lesson with him. But he doesn't do that to my helper. Even the class teacher noted a drastic difference in him whenever my helper bring him to class. She says he can perform excellent with my helper, but never with me....


So now my helper \"forbid\" me to feed my boy, cos it will take 2 hrs with all the tug of war, whereas she will take just 20 min. N we take alternate turn to bring him to classes so as to maximize his learning.
rio, at what age did your son start behaving this way? i also get my helper to do all the feeding. so much so i hv to stay away till he finish eating, if he sees me, thats the end of eating. sometimes he will ask me to feed him, so i will explain to him that i would love to feed him but if he starts playing a fool or whining etc i will walk away. he's fine, and he will always whine and not eat!!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320102https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320102Sun, 26 Dec 2010 15:23:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sun, 26 Dec 2010 15:20:39 GMT]]>yes deminc,i guess i am soft. but i do shout and sometimes even smack him, he’s too playful…he will just scream and shout louder. then start throwing things around. i will just walk away.

sometimes no energy to reason with him, he makes everything difficult!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320101https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320101Sun, 26 Dec 2010 15:20:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sat, 25 Dec 2010 16:32:04 GMT]]>Probably you are too soft with him. If my children dare refuse their meals they will not get anything else from me. At the very most they can tell me they are not hungry yet and prefer to eat the food a little later butit’s still the same food. If anyone sneak their candies before meals the whole pack goes down the rubbish chute. You must draw your line and stand by it. If you are not prepared to then don’t tell the child anything. This way the child knows that if you say something, you really mean it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319870https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319870Sat, 25 Dec 2010 16:32:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sat, 25 Dec 2010 15:00:26 GMT]]>guys and gals, same story still for me. helper out for xmas. son din eat a meal today, just snacks! sigh, wonder what he needs me for. better to live with my helper, less stress for my son. does this phase go away?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319839https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319839Sat, 25 Dec 2010 15:00:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 10 Dec 2010 23:15:21 GMT]]>My boy at 3.5 still "bully" me. He refuse to eat vegetable whenever I feed him. Wants to b carried ONLY BY ME when we go out. Whines at me even when I am attending lesson with him. But he doesn’t do that to my helper. Even the class teacher noted a drastic difference in him whenever my helper bring him to class. She says he can perform excellent with my helper, but never with me…


So now my helper "forbid" me to feed my boy, cos it will take 2 hrs with all the tug of war, whereas she will take just 20 min. N we take alternate turn to bring him to classes so as to maximize his learning.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311856https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311856Fri, 10 Dec 2010 23:15:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 17:30:12 GMT]]>

riash:
thank you all for sharing 🙂 really appreciate it! i hope my younger boy doesn't go thru this!


meiah - think i need tips on how you managed to get your daughter to listen to you! or is it cos she's a gal 😛
😉 I'm not sure about that though. Maybe I'm just mean lah.

Actually, have to be very patient and don't give up. My 123 didn't work initially. She would just continue to ignore. So after counting to 3, I would go grab her despite her screaming for help! I would also scold her and sometimes if she persist in making noise, she would get smack on her leg. She would cry but then I would give her a kiss and a hug to reassure her. She's also very clingy and attention seeking. After some time, she understood and automatically move even if she is doing her favourite thing. So getting her to ready for bath, sleep, drink, change, whatever became somewhat a breeze. :love:

She behaves differently with dh and grandparents. She can be quite defiant. Maybe the reason is they are always obliging her and her wishes so she takes advantage whenever possible.

I also have 2 ds but they are much older now. They also would not try to be very funny with me. :x

Basically, I think is to be reassuring, firm, persistent (and fierce if you have to). 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311341https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311341Thu, 09 Dec 2010 17:30:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 16:12:15 GMT]]>thank you all for sharing 🙂 really appreciate it! i hope my younger boy doesn't go thru this!


meiah - think i need tips on how you managed to get your daughter to listen to you! or is it cos she's a gal 😛

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311324https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311324Thu, 09 Dec 2010 16:12:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 10:59:56 GMT]]>

riash:
Hi my DS1 is 2.5yrs old and he is a gem of a boy with everyone except me, his mom! when i am around he totally misbehaves, screams and shouts and even doesn't eat! i really don't know why he is like this and more importantly, its so upsetting for me. i was on leave today and he didn't eat his bfast and lunch. i have to physically be away from him and then he will eat or sleep. otherwise he looks for me, whines and wants me - but doesn't do a thing i suggest. sigh. what am i doing wrong - i spend a lot of time with him, more than i do with my DS2 who is one. DS1 will greet me by climbing onto the dining table when i come home. HELP!!

Hi,

Hee hee. Mine is exactly opp yours. My dd is abt 2.8 yo and she is naughty with everyone except me. I also work ft. Maybe cos I always carry out my threats, so she knows I mean it. For example, if I asked her to go to the bedroom, I will count to 3. At 1 and 2, she will ignore me, shake her butt, sing a song but at 3, she will dash to the room! Then she will pretend to be good and try to \"read\" a book. Even in the car, she would sit quietly all belt up but if she is with grandparents, she would scream to be in the driver's seat.

But even though she kind of fear me, she would still look for me to get her daily mega dose of hugs and kisses.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311223https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311223Thu, 09 Dec 2010 10:59:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 08:54:41 GMT]]>

riash:
Hi my DS1 is 2.5yrs old and he is a gem of a boy with everyone except me, his mom! when i am around he totally misbehaves, screams and shouts and even doesn't eat! i really don't know why he is like this and more importantly, its so upsetting for me. i was on leave today and he didn't eat his bfast and lunch. i have to physically be away from him and then he will eat or sleep. otherwise he looks for me, whines and wants me - but doesn't do a thing i suggest. sigh. what am i doing wrong - i spend a lot of time with him, more than i do with my DS2 who is one. DS1 will greet me by climbing onto the dining table when i come home. HELP!!

I think it is natural and also a passing phase thing. I experienced that with all my children. Hang in there !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311171https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/311171Thu, 09 Dec 2010 08:54:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Tue, 07 Dec 2010 06:14:56 GMT]]>

riash:
desertwind! you make me feel so unalone 😛

what works? you say just one person with the child? hmmm i have taken him out with me alone, he still misbehaves. maybe i am lenient? do you have other suggestions?
Hi riash,

Dunno what to say except that I think your 2.5 yo is still under-going the \"Terrible Two\" stage! For my 3 yo 3 mths old boy, it was only recently after he turned 3 yo that we have a much easier time going out with him - be it shopping or eating out!

Between 2 & 3 yo was terrible because he will anyhow run and it was hard to restraint him. If eating out, he will mess up the table and generally cannot sit still. Usually how I handle when we were outside is to tell him to hold my hand and not run around in the carpark. If he is not listening and it is getting dangerous (like at carparks!), SMACK! without any hesitation on his arm and tell him sternly \"No running, hold mummy's hand! It is dangerous to run around here!\". Oh yes, my boy would start crying at the top of his voice but at least he would listen!

So if a situation is dangerous and he misbehaves, do not be lenient, smack, grab him and run, whatever no matter how loudly he screams. If it is not dangerous, you just need to have a lot of energy and help from hubby or maid to run after him (eg. at indoor playground).

At mealtimes, try to feed him yourself if you can since he wants your attention. How about at night does he sleeps with you? My boy sleeps with me so in a way I think it helps to compensate for the lack of presence during the day.

I am sure your boy will out-grow this soon and you will have a much easier time handling him. Me too still learning as I go along.

Take care & all the best!
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310064https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310064Tue, 07 Dec 2010 06:14:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Mon, 06 Dec 2010 13:44:08 GMT]]>desertwind! you make me feel so unalone 😛

what works? you say just one person with the child? hmmm i have taken him out with me alone, he still misbehaves. maybe i am lenient?

do you have other suggestions?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309789https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309789Mon, 06 Dec 2010 13:44:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Mon, 06 Dec 2010 13:08:55 GMT]]>Hi riash,


My boy too, was a gem of boy with other people except with his parents. He behaves pretty well with the maid and in the presence of his grandparents. But when both my husband and I are home from work, he will start screaming and yelling and yes - climbing onto the dinner table to disturb me when I eat!
😛
My maid said he is usually not like that during the day only once we came back and this is normal behaviour for most kids seeking parents' attention.

He behaves much better when he was alone with just one of us, either with me, my husband or maid. Once all of us are around - oh boy!
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309776https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309776Mon, 06 Dec 2010 13:08:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sun, 05 Dec 2010 14:51:28 GMT]]>thanks everyone for your thoughts, i am really hoping its a phase and that he will grow out of it:) i am going to try to spend more 1 on 1 time with him as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309332https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309332Sun, 05 Dec 2010 14:51:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Sat, 04 Dec 2010 10:27:41 GMT]]>hi riash, and you too smurf


i think, since your baby knows that you are more forgiving, since you are his mum, and since he is young, he does this to like "test his luck", or something like that…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309015https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/309015Sat, 04 Dec 2010 10:27:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 15:26:11 GMT]]>Ds2 who is 2.5 also dun behave with me. For one instruction, I need to say it at least 5 times. And even when I said it 5 times, he still does not do it! Eg, wearing shirt, picking toys, eat, etc. Only when I threaten with cane, then he will promptly do it. But when I keep the cane, it is back to square one.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308830https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308830Fri, 03 Dec 2010 15:26:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 15:18:34 GMT]]>besides spending time with him, get the caregiver to constantly put you in a good light and explain to the boy why you need to be away to work.

my boys whines for me too…i guess most kids do that to their mums, only depends on the degree…even as a sahm, my boys behave better when the dad is around and returns to their ‘true’ whiny/rowdy self.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308822https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308822Fri, 03 Dec 2010 15:18:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:27:45 GMT]]>Agree with pecalis. It sounds like your son is seeking your attention in whatever shape or form. Maybe you need to spend more 1-1 time with him?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308799Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:27:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:03:59 GMT]]>

riash:
Hi my DS1 is 2.5yrs old and he is a gem of a boy with everyone except me, his mom! when i am around he totally misbehaves, screams and shouts and even doesn't eat! i really don't know why he is like this and more importantly, its so upsetting for me. i was on leave today and he didn't eat his bfast and lunch. i have to physically be away from him and then he will eat or sleep. otherwise he looks for me, whines and wants me - but doesn't do a thing i suggest. sigh. what am i doing wrong - i spend a lot of time with him, more than i do with my DS2 who is one. DS1 will greet me by climbing onto the dining table when i come home. HELP!!

Children know who loves them the most! My mil used to comment tt my kids when younger, will \"bully\" the mummy. However, for my case, I'm SAHM. Guess since you are working - your DS1 looks like he is trying to get your attention. My suggestion is tt you give him the attention when he is well-behaved. When he misbehave, pls do not give him the attention as it will reinforce his \"bad\" behaviour - he is just trying to get your attention. Easier said than done 😛 though.
All the best :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308787https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308787Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:03:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:00:40 GMT]]>

jedamum:
who takes care of him when you are working?

he goes to childcare half day and then is home with the maid

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308786https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308786Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:00:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to toddler misbehaving only with mom! on Fri, 03 Dec 2010 13:16:58 GMT]]>who takes care of him when you are working?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308771https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308771Fri, 03 Dec 2010 13:16:58 GMT