tamarind:

[quote]
You do know for a fact that some hawkers are living in landed property, right ? Even selling bread (ie. Breadtalk), sandwiches (Subway) can make money.

tamarind:

if a child grows up in a comfortable environment, and is not motivated to study hard, it is unlikely that he will be motivated to work hard as an entrepreneur.

I think that 99% of these kids expect their parents to continue to support them after they have grown up

tamarind:

cimman:

[quote=\"tamarind\"]
However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.

actually, the current thinking is why work for others when you can work for yourself. Most entreprenuers are very fulfilled and passionate about what they do. That can't really be said of the working masses today. Even the highly paid ones who seems to be working 9 to 9pm, and at the end of the day, might be asked to leave the company due to a company reorganization.

The current view is work for yourself and get multiple avenues for passive income. A good example of passive income is this site. The advertising it draws is pretty good passive income.

Chenonceau:

tisha:

How to do that? Any concrete examples will be much appeciated. I'm at a loss for ways to motivate my DS. He is in P6 and does'nt seem to take PSLE too seriously. Infact he is very easy going. What ever little effort he puts in is because I supervise and he does it just to please. No real self motivation. I believe it is not possible to perform to your true potential ulness you want to, meaning you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. As parents we can encourage and push, but ultimately it is the child's desire to succeed and excel is what matters most.

If you do start the thread, I will try my best to provide some concrete suggestions. They may or may not work in your specific situation but they are specific strategies that are research-based AND that I have used, consciously, planfully and with intent.

One key example is how I have motivated my son to memorize 25 X 800 character Chinese compos. He sat there for 6 to 7 hours a day because he wanted to. Getting him to want to was the challenge. It is easy enough to motivate a child to do things that are inherently enjoyable. That is why, the better way to learn Chinese is to read for pleasure from a young age. However, in many situations, both at work and at home, we need to do what is NECESSARY, not what is ENJOYABLE. What is necessary may not be enjoyable... and this is when you need to be a parent-motivator.

Motivating a child by structuring enjoyable activities is easy. It's the other one that is difficult, and requires skill. But it can be done. The greatest achievements in the world were no walk in the park, nor a laugh through Disneyland.

Parents have commented often enough that lessons may be fun but the child's grades don't seem to have improved after all that ha-ha-ha. The truth is, any notable achievement is the result of a lotta grunt work... and grunt work is rarely enjoyable. Chinese is taught in such fun and interactive ways in schools these days. But when our children are face to face with the exam paper, it's all about performance... and guess what, parents are left with the grunt work. All the P5 and P6 parents are tearing their hair out torn between pity for the children and worry about how they will cope. It is parents (and for those who can afford, tutors) who sit with the kids and do the grunt work. Is it fun? Find me a P5 P6 parent/child team who thinks all the grunt work en route to high performance is pure exhilirating fun.

Is attending meetings back to back fun? Is listening to customers complaining fun? Is making the daily rounds of the wards in a hospital fun? For many people, they aren't. Nonetheless, there are people who are motivated to listen to customer complaints... make the rounds of wards... attend meetings. Where does the drive come from?

Is waking up at night to feed the newborn fun? How come mothers all over the world do it? I certainly don't find the run-up to PSLE fun but I have a lot of drive to help my son. Why? My son HATED Chinese in Nov 2010, I make him memorize compos that has words that even my husband (Chinese educated in Primary school) does not know, and now he likes Chinese. Why? How?

Worse, my son prefers to play Monopoly Deal and mess around with MindStorm Lego, than do SA1 math practices. Yet, in the past week, he has gone through SIX SA1 math practices. Each time, I tell him to do only Paper 2 because Paper 1 is no challenge. Three times, he insisted to do both papers. Why? He looked so tired today, I dictated a break. Took him out to Margarita's and let him play the whole afternoon.

I can't promise that what I share can get your child to the kind of drive levels that both my children possess today. But it will help move your child along... and then, you can work from there. You don't have to be educated or very smart to use these strategies. You just need to be a parent who loves. And every parent loves, so that qualifies everyone.

The thing is, if we all depend on fun learning activities to motivate children, we are very limited in our role as parent-motivators because a lot of what is required to succeed in school, is not fun. If my kids don't make it, it really is because they're dumb, not that they didn't try. And I can live with that thought better than the other one... that they could have made it if they had tried.

satyagraha:

Sorry to hear that your son was sick. Hope he is well already.

sleepy:

tisha:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]
Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea:

How to do that? Any concrete examples will be much appeciated.

cimman:

tamarind:

However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.

actually, the current thinking is why work for others when you can work for yourself. Most entreprenuers are very fulfilled and passionate about what they do. That can't really be said of the working masses today. Even the highly paid ones who seems to be working 9 to 9pm, and at the end of the day, might be asked to leave the company due to a company reorganization.

The current view is work for yourself and get multiple avenues for passive income. A good example of passive income is this site. The advertising it draws is pretty good passive income.

tisha:

How to do that? Any concrete examples will be much appeciated. I'm at a loss for ways to motivate my DS. He is in P6 and does'nt seem to take PSLE too seriously. Infact he is very easy going. What ever little effort he puts in is because I supervise and he does it just to please. No real self motivation. I believe it is not possible to perform to your true potential ulness you want to, meaning you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. As parents we can encourage and push, but ultimately it is the child's desire to succeed and excel is what matters most.

24hr-mum:

the problem is some kids may think that they can get a good paying job not by studying (same thiing, gd grades doesnt mean gd job), but by other means eg being an actor, artist, entertainer, singer, etc. something no need to study :（

tisha:

sleepy:

Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea:

How to do that? Any concrete examples will be much appeciated.

sleepy:

tamarind:

Actually it is very easy to simulate that kind of environment in Singapore.


However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.

Perhaps no need to go to the extent of simulating poor living condition?

Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea:

sleepy:

Just have to make a child feels 'poor' and he would be motivated to work harder to get out of perceived poverty :idea:

tamarind:

I withdrew my son from kindergarten at K2, not because he complained about going to school, but because he was always getting ill. He stayed at home for almost one year, and he loved it so much. He was not looking forward to going to primary one at all.

Children are not the same as adults. They don't care about the future. They don't care if they fail all subjects and end up as a road sweeper in the future.

Since my boy's foundation in both English and Chinese are good and he is learning a lot on his own, the work in P1 is easy for him and he can complete his work quickly and correctly. He does not like going to school very much, because to him, there is no need to go to school in order to learn.

When my boy was very young, he used to sleep without brushing teeth. His teeth never have any problems. Now he does not mind brushing teeth, not because we let his teeth decay, but because we brush for him right up to about 5 or 6 years old. After that, he enjoys brushing teeth on his own because he thinks it is fun.

I think that parents must try different methods to teach and motivate their kids. In many cases, we simply cannot afford to let kids face the consequences. Also, most kids just simply do not learn their lessons even if they have faced the consequences.

tamarind:

Actually it is very easy to simulate that kind of environment in Singapore.


However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.

tamarind:

However, note that one week is not sufficient. The kid may not learn his lesson after he returns to his luxurious environment. The kid must understand that there is no way to get out of the poor living conditions in his entire life, unless he studies hard, get good grades and get a good paying job.

sharon1234:

tamarind:

I taught in a university in China last year, and I observed the living conditions of the Chinese students. Their hostel rooms are like prison cells, and stink so badly that I almost vomited when I walked past. 6 students squeeze into a small room. They sleep on wooden planks with only a very thin foam padding.

As a result, they are very hardworking and motivated compared to Singaporean students, because they want to get out of their horrible living conditions.

This is the real consequence that the child will face if he ends up as a road sweeper. Are Singapore parents prepared to let their kids experience this type of living conditions ? Not just for a few weeks, but all the way until they complete university. Then I believe that the kids will work as hard as the students in China.

I am keen to let my dd experience for a week. It should be enough to make her be more appreciative of what she has.
Is there a way to simulate such environment here in SGP as I don't think there is such \"opportunity\" in China to let kids realise how fortunate they are and hence are more motivated to learn? I am keen to be part of the team to set up such simulated environment

tamarind:

I taught in a university in China last year, and I observed the living conditions of the Chinese students. Their hostel rooms are like prison cells, and stink so badly that I almost vomited when I walked past. 6 students squeeze into a small room. They sleep on wooden planks with only a very thin foam padding.

As a result, they are very hardworking and motivated compared to Singaporean students, because they want to get out of their horrible living conditions.

This is the real consequence that the child will face if he ends up as a road sweeper. Are Singapore parents prepared to let their kids experience this type of living conditions ? Not just for a few weeks, but all the way until they complete university. Then I believe that the kids will work as hard as the students in China.

satyagraha:

24hr-mum:

sigh my 5yo boy is that type have nonsense everyday.

wake up dun want to brush teeth, dun want to go sch
if gv reward eg tv or toy, he will be gd boy sometimes by eating himsf faster and doing his work. stimes he will still complain 'why gv me so much wk' even if u offer reward

when go pple party, if i gv other kids a present that he likes eg lego, he will suck n ask me why i nvr buy for him tho he already has so much lego n cars alrdy,
when go shoppg alwaz ask me buy toys

always push limit to maximum

the reward system wil wk but if no reward, dont do wk. how? wait for my cane lor.

how to handle such boys

Evil mummy writing here. And the following only applicable to preschoolers.

Don't want to brush teeth? Don't brush then. It's YOUR OWN teeth that will be dirty ==> cavities ==> toothache ==> extraction!! You are the one going to suffer the pain, not me. On top of daily verbal reminder of the teeth deterioration process, I try to incorporate as much visuals as possible. Eg. purposely walk pass dental clinic to point out \"scary\" photos, show pics of horrible looking teeth on internet.

Don't want to go to school with no valid reasons? Don't go then. Today is after all a school day, so let's try another \"school\" (read, home), that you don't need to wear uniform, no need to travel. See if you prefer the program here. By the end of the day, if you like this \"new school\" & the \"teacher\" (ahem... the mummy, who will make sure the program not as fun as school), then we'll withdraw you from school and you can jolly well attend home school everyday.

No rewards for tasks that need to be done, except verbal rewards and hugs & kisses. Irregardless of age, everyone has a role to perform and with each role, there's certain responsibilities. I will give you time to assume your role, but I don't see the need to give you a reward for doing every little thing that is your responsibility.

Dear child, if you don't do you part? Don't expect me to do my part too. I'll be just as selective as you are in doing things.

24hr-mum, sorry to hear that your son is so. I know how tiring it can be. Well... jia you, jia you!! Sometimes, we need to step back, create the opportunity for them to experience the consequences, give them time to digest... and life will be easier for yourself and them.