<![CDATA[not on talking terms with hubby]]>feel very frust n stressful wenever he is at hm. he not fit to b call as daddy he all these years he never contribute a single cents for my kids education milk powder, pampers etc. dont think he is fits to b call as daddy for my child. feel so much being cheated by him ao stupid of me to believe him. now i was drag into it n owe the banks some sum of money. he promise this year end can pay me some money til now nothing never ever believe in him again. anyone like to share their experience

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/17521/not-on-talking-terms-with-hubbyRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 22:35:27 GMTSun, 26 Dec 2010 06:57:18 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sat, 15 Jun 2019 10:07:49 GMT]]>well… if its your bf I would say… save him for Christmas??? but if it is in a marriage… you need to ask yourself if you want to sacrifice the rest of your life for your family?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1914626https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1914626Sat, 15 Jun 2019 10:07:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Wed, 15 May 2019 03:05:05 GMT]]>it is easier to talk to people you do not know on your problems and issues . There are listening ears and maybe helping hands extended .

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1910346https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1910346Wed, 15 May 2019 03:05:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Fri, 10 May 2019 04:40:20 GMT]]>I’ll think it’s good that this channel enables people to share and talk it out. Everyone is busy and sometimes nobody seems to listen

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1909679https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1909679Fri, 10 May 2019 04:40:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Tue, 16 Apr 2019 03:03:20 GMT]]>

janet88\" post_id=\"1906084\" time=\"1555040850\" user_id=\"12950:

it's important to maintain a level of courtesy even after years of marriage.
simple words like 'please' and 'thanks' still warms the heart.
I agree also when you have courtesy inside your home, your children will follow..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906598https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906598Tue, 16 Apr 2019 03:03:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Fri, 12 Apr 2019 03:47:30 GMT]]>it’s important to maintain a level of courtesy even after years of marriage.

simple words like ‘please’ and ‘thanks’ still warms the heart.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906084https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906084Fri, 12 Apr 2019 03:47:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Fri, 12 Apr 2019 02:35:50 GMT]]>We had talking terms with DH the other day and last night I prepared him his favorite dish and hugged him then we talked about it and listen to each other side… My advice is to not forget what you promise to each other when you had your vows…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906074https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906074Fri, 12 Apr 2019 02:35:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Fri, 04 Jan 2019 09:20:50 GMT]]>Keeping you in prayer. I advice to keep your girls in full knowledge of the situations, but not to tear their father down. I believe all children know the things that are going on, and we as adults should never look down upon them and keep them out of the loop, especially if the situation concerns them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1893058https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1893058Fri, 04 Jan 2019 09:20:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Mon, 24 Dec 2018 19:02:37 GMT]]>I

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1891068https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1891068Mon, 24 Dec 2018 19:02:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Thu, 05 Oct 2017 03:28:46 GMT]]>My case, I won’t do the talking too. Most of the time, I keep quiet. Am I ever a married woman, I doubt. Been thinking of divorcing since years. But not sure how to go about in doing it.

I will be asking in new thread soon.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1806105https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1806105Thu, 05 Oct 2017 03:28:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Mon, 05 Sep 2016 08:11:47 GMT]]>To be honest with you, my father is similar and I really feel sorry for how my mum suffered.


Our case might be more serious than yours as we live overseas and do not have any family members/ close friends to lean on for support.

My dad bad mouthed my mum to me on a daily basis and being such a stupid teenager I took everything he said; hook, line and sinker.

It is only that I am older that I realise how irresponsible my father is! And he has been getting us into trouble by talking bad to us to relatives (even my grandma and aunties did not want to talk to me because he badmouth me).

It turns out that it was his fault for taking on so much debt and trying to get us to pay it off for him (or rather use us to pressure mum to give him money). Now that we are older, he is asking us for money…even though as children we never asked him. Mum was the one who saved, worked and provided for us.

At one time the marriage and brainwashing got so bad that I quit school to help become his slave and abuse victim (cause I was being harrassed by other coworkers who didnt like him and then yelled at by customers he had been tardy with). Even when that happened, he did not take any parental responsibility instead he blame my bro for not protecting me etc. and cause a lot of bad blood between us because he blame bro for everything.

In the end ladies, I dont think these people have heart to be a father…maybe just the uncle who give you presents once in a while…but father no. They dont have sense of responsibillity to look after children.

Now after all that, still broadcast to the world how I havent graduated (making it sound like my personal failure) despite the fact I gave up school to help him??? I am mad at him, because if he cared so much why didnt he encourage me when I was in school, why did he distract me? He knew I was waking up at 4am and not going to sleep till midnight where got time to study?

And when I worked part time, would always ask me for money…

The worst part that is the bad blood and lose of face he cause for our family.

Instead of taking responsibility for his own debt or his own failings he blame mum and even encourage me to go against her. When my brother did not go against, he put a target on my bro and bully him to no end. Thank God my bro really strong and love my mum alot.

I was dumb and got fooled by my dad (cause he would always talk about ohh your mum is going to divorce me…its important we keep the family together. it was only later that I learnt it was because of his financial and personal irresponsiblity).

Anytime I dont help him he talk bad about me to relatives (like my paternal aunts and my late grandma + all other relatives) make us lose face as a way to bully us. It hurts cause they really take his word for it. They never ask us or know what really happened. I also didnt want them to think bad of him so I never say anything but he dont think the same we do. He doesnt care or love us like a father.


My mum thankfully is very strong. She got a job and is independent of him. They still have name together in property but mum is willing to take lost if it means not getting dragged into more things.
I really love my mum alot and wished I spoke our dialect so I could have understand what was happening in the marriage before.

I think the advice I give to other mums is be strong, explain to your daughters what is happening tell them this is bad…dont let your husband brainwash them into thinking nonsense…dont keep silent, be independent, protect yourself and fight for your rights. Your children will not benefit from being tied together to a irresponsible parent. I pray for you all ❤

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1716835https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1716835Mon, 05 Sep 2016 08:11:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 28 Aug 2016 02:16:42 GMT]]>True. Only when he sees the girls grown up, then he will understand. I have given up hope on this. Let time answer .

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1714275https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1714275Sun, 28 Aug 2016 02:16:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Thu, 25 Aug 2016 00:30:04 GMT]]>personally, I believe the key to resolving this will have to come from the dad. If dad doesn’t show respect to mum, the children will most probably follow suit.


I have seen it happening in my extended family - because the dad has little respect for the wife, the children display very disrespectful behaviour to their mum too.

I don’t know how well this goes, but if you have a daughter, then you can ask your hubby if this is the way he wants his princess to be treated when she has her own family, because right now, she is being taught that it is alright to be treated with disrespect at home.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713534https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713534Thu, 25 Aug 2016 00:30:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Wed, 24 Aug 2016 23:36:08 GMT]]>

bsk:
How to deal with Husband who encourages and even teaches the kid to talk wrongly against Mother. Don't know where will this end?


Have you sat down with your children n confessed that your marriage is on the rocks? Or have the school counsellor involved?

It would be most heartache if you r enduring the abuses from your husband for the sake of your children, yet the kids rebel against you under the bad influences from the father.

:hugs:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713522https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713522Wed, 24 Aug 2016 23:36:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Wed, 24 Aug 2016 23:25:50 GMT]]>

janet88:
bsk:

How to deal with Husband who encourages and even teaches the kid to talk wrongly against Mother. Don't know where will this end?


have you sat down to discuss why he is doing this? how is your relationship with your in-laws? they might be able to talk to him.


I think most in laws will side their own son or daughter even though they may be wrong.

Blood is thicker than water.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713520https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713520Wed, 24 Aug 2016 23:25:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Wed, 24 Aug 2016 14:20:43 GMT]]>Yes . My Father in law… Don’t seem to listen … Really difficult to manage at times

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713480https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1713480Wed, 24 Aug 2016 14:20:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Mon, 22 Aug 2016 00:57:05 GMT]]>

bsk:
How to deal with Husband who encourages and even teaches the kid to talk wrongly against Mother. Don't know where will this end?

have you sat down to discuss why he is doing this? how is your relationship with your in-laws? they might be able to talk to him.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1712433https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1712433Mon, 22 Aug 2016 00:57:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 21 Aug 2016 13:51:20 GMT]]>How to deal with Husband who encourages and even teaches the kid to talk wrongly against Mother. Don’t know where will this end?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1712348https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1712348Sun, 21 Aug 2016 13:51:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 13 Dec 2015 11:14:06 GMT]]>I work also . Yes. He does take care of the kids by buying all the things like toys.,chocolates etc., (not studies though…) to make sure the kids are with him…


But the sad thing he will tell kids things against me…Since i’m the one who has to push the kids for their studies at kids it becomes hard to manage the kids also…

Just holding my breath and see how far i can pull thru. Time will answer soon…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1614586https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1614586Sun, 13 Dec 2015 11:14:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 25 Oct 2015 07:54:16 GMT]]>imho, if kids is the main concern…


If the husband is playing a good role as a father, there is absolute reason to tolerate for the kids if you want to.

If the husband is the source of $$ and is doing that dutifully, you can consider to tolerate for the kids if you want to.

If the husband is neither a good husband nor a good father, what do you want to tolerate for the kids? Tolerating further is abusive to the kids isn’t it?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596746https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596746Sun, 25 Oct 2015 07:54:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 25 Oct 2015 03:02:23 GMT]]>

bsk:
Hi

Anyone facing verbal abuse from Husband ? I have 2 kids((11 & 7 years) and holding on to the marriage for the sake of kids. Waiting for them to grow up. Have been tolerating this all thru this years and now looks like reaching my limits.

Wonder how would any one else respond to such a situation.. This starts my early morning and then again after i come back from work. Worst on weekends.. Wondering if there are any ladies out there in such a situation ??
May I ask when did he start with these verbal abuses to you? I can understand why you have been tolerating for the sake of your 2 girls since they are still young. But, being tolerance is not bringing a healthy and normal marriage life . You have to make a stop in getting this nonsense from him. Tell him firmly that yr tolerance level has reached the limit. Try counseling if it helps.

If he continues to verbal abuse, the last resort is to get him out of the house and change the lock when he is working. Even he were to make a scene, tell him that you have already had enough. Make him sign on the agreement and state yr conditions if he fails to do so.

I hope yr 2 girls are not affected badly and I have noted yr older one is taking PSLE next year. Embrace well and be strong !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596622https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596622Sun, 25 Oct 2015 03:02:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 25 Oct 2015 02:58:05 GMT]]>

bsk:
Hi

Anyone facing verbal abuse from Husband ? I have 2 kids((11 & 7 years) and holding on to the marriage for the sake of kids. Waiting for them to grow up. Have been tolerating this all thru this years and now looks like reaching my limits.

Wonder how would any one else respond to such a situation.. This starts my early morning and then again after i come back from work. Worst on weekends.. Wondering if there are any ladies out there in such a situation ??

My mom told me the same thing decades ago that she held onto her marriage because of her two kids. But no one asked me when I was a kid if I wanted a family that was always quarrelling and fighting.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596621https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596621Sun, 25 Oct 2015 02:58:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Sun, 25 Oct 2015 02:31:22 GMT]]>Hi


I don’t talk at all these days. The moment he starts it will be outburst of scolding only

Want to ignore and keep moving…!becoming too difficult to manage

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596611https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1596611Sun, 25 Oct 2015 02:31:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:45:28 GMT]]>:thankyou: for your kind advise and a very good evening to you anyhowsay1...


:imsorry: I forgot when did I post this unhappiness.... :? :shock:

Anyway....update...he has went back to his Lord....
Hope he enjoys his new heavenly home as promised by his Lord 🙏

Me....Life goes on.....

When the going gets tough, the tough get going -...

Has the pain gone...No! But I have to learn to forgive but will NEVER Forget!

But I have no time to be depressed....
My time is precious.... :xedfingers:
天下没有不散的筵席。曲终人定散,无须感叹,无须遗憾。

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1594972https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1594972Wed, 21 Oct 2015 11:45:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to not on talking terms with hubby on Tue, 20 Oct 2015 11:15:11 GMT]]>

dolphinsiah:
Hi! Tracy,


I feel your pain...cause I am in the same suitation...but I think worst then you now... 😞

My Spouse do not contribute to bringing up my 2 girls....
Silly me exhausted all my hard work savings.... 😢

Always think that when the girls grow up , I will have my freedom...
So I endure and endure.... 😐

Now he is VERY SICK and a WEAK man....diagnose with Cancer....
So I have to take Care of him and endure all his nonsense... :pokeeye:

He now renew his faith in Christ....and every now and then accuses me for his Sickness ...because I refuse to convert to a Christian....
He claims the Buddha I am praying is DEvil...causing him to be Sick...and his GOD is not answering his prayers.... :frustrated:



See how I feel, I was so fed up....I told his mother to take care of him....
I wanted OUT.... :gloomy:

His mother and siblings pleaded no....

As a rational lady....I told myself ....now I have to endure more until he is well...then we can part our ways.... :imconstipated:
Tell me ....how do you live with a person who accusses you for his Sickness...and your reglion is Devil.... :?:

To Cheer myself up....I always think of those people in th THIRD World....
then I feel I am still fortunate.... :shock:

If not I already in Mental Hospital.... :siao:
I always tell myself , I am now serving my Karma.... 🙏

If I can turn back the clock...I will not marry .....
The way to solve any problem is to talk it out. Then you can find the solution. Since you are prepared to leave him anyway, why not just talk it out and ask him why he treated you like this. At least you will know why he behaved the way he did towards you, instead of appreciating your loyalty and love.

The fact that he has cancer also shows that he may also be nursing unforgiveness/ anger/ resentment in his heart.

I think you still love him, that's why you are still taking care of him. If not, why would you do this? I think your husband is just a Christian in name only. He hasn't experience true joy and contentment in his religion. He should love you because it is a Christian teaching that man shall love and provide for his family. He should love you as he love himself. Appreciate you as he appreciate himself. For what a man does to another, he does it to God also.

Many men don't know how to show love to their wife. The more money they have make them feel more power over their partner.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1594586https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1594586Tue, 20 Oct 2015 11:15:11 GMT