How to tell if Child is telling lies??

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 07 Aug 2018 00:39:43 GMT

CerlynR — Tue, 07 Aug 2018 00:39:43 GMT

My 10 y/o daughter she lies constantly...even about stuff she doesn't need to lie about! I've given her the lectures about not being able to trust her. I'm wondering if it's just a phase that she will grow out of.

Here's a link that might find helpful: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/2...

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 31 Jul 2018 05:40:05 GMT

funnygummyyummy — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 05:40:05 GMT

FumbleDad:
My kid is 8 and when she lies she looks at me in the eyes. Have you done your homework? Yes, all done she said. In reality, not really. I’m having problems guessing what she’s thinking. She’s playful, doesn’t take homework seriously and now lying. I’m pretty burnt out working with her.

it's normal. Don't worry. At 8, they will start to rebel and have their characters slowly forming. but you must instill some discipline. like others are saying here, maybe some light punishments

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 24 Jul 2018 00:31:08 GMT

sharonkhoo — Tue, 24 Jul 2018 00:31:08 GMT

FumbleDad:
My kid is 8 and when she lies she looks at me in the eyes. Have you done your homework? Yes, all done she said. In reality, not really. I’m having problems guessing what she’s thinking. She’s playful, doesn’t take homework seriously and now lying. I’m pretty burnt out working with her.

Since she lies, you will need to check her bag daily. Then mete out consequences like no TV, extra work, whatever, on top of finishing whatever homework she has to do. Add extra if she lies, and let her know what the extra is for. She needs to feel some pain (not physical pain). Tell her that it would be in her own interests if she just did her homework, and that lying increases the penalties.

Additionally, tell her that lying to parents will mean that she is destroying any trust you have in her. Tell her how serious that is.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 23 Jul 2018 11:33:29 GMT

FumbleDad — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 11:33:29 GMT

My kid is 8 and when she lies she looks at me in the eyes. Have you done your homework? Yes, all done she said. In reality, not really. I’m having problems guessing what she’s thinking. She’s playful, doesn’t take homework seriously and now lying. I’m pretty burnt out working with her.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 23 Jul 2018 02:09:51 GMT

Joanne25 — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 02:09:51 GMT

A good sign is when they start to talk they look and don’t look you in the eyes or their eyes are darting around everywhere.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 29 Aug 2017 01:14:53 GMT

el_ninogold — Tue, 29 Aug 2017 01:14:53 GMT

troubled:
Hi,

Any tested methods to know if child is telling lies??

I feel that instead of trying to go in the direction of catching a child telling lies, we can be good role models for them in terms of honouring our words and fulfilling our promises to the kids. If we promise we bring them to the zoo, we do it no matter how. We should not make empty promises or tell white lies/ half truths ourselves as we will be found out eventually. Ultimately, children are taught by what their parents are (we don't lie) and not merely by their talk (children must not lie). And if we do catch the kid lying, talking the kid through why he shouldn't lie always work better than punishing using punitive methods, which merely instills a sense of fear and resentment without real understanding.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Sun, 18 Jun 2017 16:24:59 GMT

FishFingers — Sun, 18 Jun 2017 16:24:59 GMT

Look at the body language and the eyes of the child…

If the child does not make eye contact with you and has shifty eyes,he/she is most likely telling a lie. Probe a bit further,he will spill the beans about his alleged mistake.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 26 Dec 2016 10:39:40 GMT

dreamzspl — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 10:39:40 GMT

For long term approach, let him know that mutual trust is essential and you will believe him, because he is your son. But trust takes ages to build, moments to destroy. So let him learn the values and virtues of it. Better than tell him what is right what is wrong (surface approach).

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Thu, 22 Dec 2016 16:37:27 GMT

miss koh — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 16:37:27 GMT

Don’t make assumptions. Ask. And if the child is really lying, find out the real reason. Communicate with the child. Since the child had lied this time, the most important thing is to ensure he/she will not lie again. Teachable moments are always valuable.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 23:04:46 GMT

sharonkhoo — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 23:04:46 GMT

sleepy:
Confiscate phone for 5 days?

That's probably the worst punishment for most teenagers

I guess this would be appropriate if the lie is about some communication/gadget use/time management issue.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 11:36:32 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 11:36:32 GMT

Confiscate phone for 5 days?

That’s probably the worst punishment for most teenagers

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:39:31 GMT

sharonkhoo — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:39:31 GMT

lag:
what sort of punishment should i dish out? for a 13 yr old boy if he is caught telling lies?

Have you figured out why he lies first? A 2-pronged approach is the best - try to create situations where he is not tempted to lie, and also try to make sure he doesn't profit from his lying. I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all solution.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:27:40 GMT

jetsetter — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:27:40 GMT

lag:
what sort of punishment should i dish out? for a 13 yr old boy if he is caught telling lies?

What did he lie about?

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 06:59:16 GMT

lag — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 06:59:16 GMT

what sort of punishment should i dish out? for a 13 yr old boy if he is caught telling lies?

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 08:34:42 GMT

jetsetter — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 08:34:42 GMT

lag:
what happen if the kid is a sec 1 boy... haizzz any solution?

the skills have been soo \"refine\" until it is challenging to spot the flaw..

take a polygraph test.

are u sure he is that good? did u spot any contradiction in his statements? U need to cross exam and interrogate until he blur blur and loses his train of thoughts. then catch him unawares like a hawk does to its prey. Gotcha!

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 05:18:36 GMT

sharonkhoo — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 05:18:36 GMT

lag:
what happen if the kid is a sec 1 boy... haizzz any solution?

the skills have been soo \"refine\" until it is challenging to spot the flaw..

I would be more concerned about why he feels the need to tell lies rather than just try to catch him out. Is there some underlying issue?

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 03:52:11 GMT

lag — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 03:52:11 GMT

what happen if the kid is a sec 1 boy… haizzz any solution?

the skills have been soo "refine" until it is challenging to spot the flaw…

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 20 Sep 2016 13:02:42 GMT

WorriedDadto3 — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 13:02:42 GMT

:goodpost: :rotflmao:

snowman.697:
Here's from my own experience - I used to be a liar (not now anws) and usually 'cos when you're lying you're forced to think fast. So you shoudl watch out for signs of, say, stuttering or repeating their statements over and over again (eg. no, I went back at.... I went back at uh.... etc). Another sign is that they're glancing away at something, or their face appears red, or they're sweating. I believe one of the very good ways to know if a child is lying is to watch their criminal language. As with police interrogations, a lying criminal will probably fidget or play with her hair (for girls with long hair) / an object. He or she will also have an increased breathing rate.

And of course, most importnatly, watch out for any inconsistencies when he tells you something. That might be a sign that he is lying (lying is NOT the truth and therefore the child won't remember it unless it was prepared beforehand).

Hope this helps

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 07 Feb 2011 15:06:58 GMT

cherrygal — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 15:06:58 GMT

My son loves to exaggerate so it may not be real lying. So we gotta find out the truth from the teachers. Have more communication with the teachers.

In kindergarten, he used to say his friends hit him when it was just an accidental poke. Now in primary school, he can even tell me his friends are just play fighting.

DS doesn’t try to lie but will just clam up or deny when he has done something wrong eg. sleep in class. That is when I smell a rat and ask him hypothetically if he slept in class because he was tired. I showed I empathised and he opened up and really admitted to sleeping in class. Gosh! I couldn’t react with anger since he finally told the truth. I had to bite my tongue and tell him matter-of-factly that what he did was not right but also glad that he found the courage to tell me. So at least we can now work together to find a solution - sleep earlier!

I told DS that no matter what happens, he must always tell his parents even if we may reprimand him. We are the only ones who can help him.

In addition, I find that with kids this age, asking them why they did something wrong is like talking to a wall. They too do not know why they did it. So, by offering them a possible reason for their behavior, they will start to tell you more about their inner feelings.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Mon, 07 Feb 2011 07:55:01 GMT

Alex001 — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 07:55:01 GMT

Hard. As a child, I never tell lies and always tell the truth. Even if I do its hard to suspect. Maybe a sneaky face?

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:55:55 GMT

troubled — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:55:55 GMT

Thanks everyone!

Got some ideas.....

Maybe i should say...how to detect if child is making up stories.... :?

I've a 6 year old boy who came home saying teacher does this and that in center.....which got me worried....

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:15:00 GMT

Blobbi — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:15:00 GMT

Snowman, you're so funny! Tks for spilling the beans ;).

But I agree- its fear of disapproval/ consequences. I'd much rather deal with that. Because you'd want your kid to tell you everything if he ever (touch wood) gets into trouble one day.

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:13:25 GMT

Chenonceau — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:13:25 GMT

snowman.697:
Chenonceau:
[quote=\"troubled\"]Hi,

Any tested methods to know if child is telling lies??
When a child lies... he could be afraid. If you can fix the cause of the fear, he will stop the lying... and might confess. That gives you an opportunity to dialogue and counsel... and also allay his fears?

Chenonceau - I believe the author is trying to ask how to detect a lying child, not why a child is lying. But still good point (:[/quote]Can still detect mah... child confess lor... that's still detecting... hee

I do that to my kids. Talk to them. Ask them why they look worried. Then they confess... cry. I sayang. Tell them there's nothing that they do that'll make me love them less but tell them I don't like lies, I am sad they lie and lying will make their souls ugly...

Reply to How to tell if Child is telling lies?? on Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:07:44 GMT

snowman.022851697 — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:07:44 GMT

Chenonceau:
troubled:
Hi,

Any tested methods to know if child is telling lies??
When a child lies... he could be afraid. If you can fix the cause of the fear, he will stop the lying... and might confess. That gives you an opportunity to dialogue and counsel... and also allay his fears?

Chenonceau - I believe the author is trying to ask how to detect a lying child, not why a child is lying. But still good point