<![CDATA[Can good interpersonal skills be taught ?]]>Nowadays most people are expected to work in a team. Good interpersonal skills is very important for a successful career.


I am wondering if a child can be taught to have good interpersonal skills ? Or is it a characteristics that he or she is born with ?

I am not someone with good interpersonal skills. But I know some very nice people in this forum, like buds and EN, and I can imagine that they have very good interpersonal skills in real life too. Care to share how you develop these good skills ? πŸ˜„

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/1891/can-good-interpersonal-skills-be-taughtRSS for NodeMon, 20 Apr 2026 12:04:02 GMTSun, 01 Feb 2009 12:55:03 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:26:14 GMT]]>

tamarind:
buds,

I think your idea is great πŸ˜„ Hopefully I can try to find time to practice with my kids at home. It will be great that all pre-schools have this type of activities πŸ˜‰

P.S. I was very busy the past couple of weeks, no time to visit forums.
Heyya tamarind,

I chance upon it - read somewhere in a book.
You like it? I check for more.. quite a few worth
trying out with - tho i may have altered and added
some of the activities or examples to cater more
for our culture. The book wasn't local.

Have a good weekend ahead!
Hopefully less busy and more
time for your hubby and kiddies..

Cheerios.
😎

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21443https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21443Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:26:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:58:45 GMT]]>buds,

I think your idea is great πŸ˜„ Hopefully I can try to find time to practice with my kids at home. It will be great that all pre-schools have this type of activities πŸ˜‰

P.S. I was very busy the past couple of weeks, no time to visit forums.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20842https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20842Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:58:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Sun, 22 Mar 2009 08:04:00 GMT]]>Heyya tamarind,


Was looking up on the activities to promote
interpersonal intelligence... which in short
means good with people, thoughtful and
sensitive to feelings of others (empathy).

OLD MRS LACEY

Focus > Making relationships
Focus > Behaviour and self-control
Focus > Sense of community

Preps > Mebbe mum's old hat
Preps > Teacher/Adult or a child to be Old Mrs Lacey

Children are encouraged to think about
the needs of others or the elderly and
how EVERYBODY can help them.

>Say : Old Mrs Lacey is coming to tea.
Invite the children to ask what's she like...
or how she looks... etc

>Say : Well, she has a bad leg (pretend to hobble)
cannot see very well (pretend to squint or hand across
forehead as if looking into the sun) and cannot hear very
well either (cup hand behind an ear) and keeps forgetting
things (shake head). As well as realistic afflictions mixed in
humorous touches such as she wrinkles up her nose or sings
in the bathroom (la-laa-laaah)...

>The game is played cumulatively. ie. the children mimic the
original action first, then add on all subsequent actions in order,
while you repeat the appropriate words. Prompt the children if
necessary, so that they will arrive at the correct sequence.

>Ask the children how they would look after Mrs Lacey if she
came to tea at their house... For example, avoid bumping into
her bad leg, or fetch things to save her the walking, or help her
describe things to her that she cannot see, or help her remember
things and be patient when she is forgetful.

>All children to be involved in how to care for Old Mrs Lacey.

>For older children can write them down for a topic for creative
writing activity and make a face mask of Old Mrs Lacey.

What do you think, tam...
For starters activities...
πŸ˜‰

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20636https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20636Sun, 22 Mar 2009 08:04:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:30:15 GMT]]>

buds:

a person with interpersonal skills can gauge the group's temperament..
Each and everyone in the group. THEE person makes effort to include
everyone in conversations - never makes a single one feel left out. In
group projects, THEE one bothers to inquire everybody's opinion no
matter how big or no matter how small - each person's contribution
is valued. THEE person is also one who will diplomatically solve issues
within groups opposed to - fuelling to the fire. But instead put water
over fire... then gets the two oppositions to shake on it on the effort
of a more positive interaction. It does not take a highly qualified person,
to be THE ONE but one with enuf skills, EQ and most importantly respect
to every kind in this world, human, plants animals and heck... even air
lah.
Totally agree ! A person with the above qualities certainly have good leadership skills. In fact, a good leader must have good interpersonal skills πŸ™‚

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17952https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17952Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:30:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Sun, 22 Feb 2009 14:41:37 GMT]]>

tamarind:
The point is that you have never met anyone in this forum. You know them only by the words that they wrote. But you don't know their background. That person may be struggling to support her family. That person's husband/wife may be seriously ill. I am not talking about myself. The thing is that you never know because you have never met him or her. You may have said something that hurt that person in some way that you cannot understand.


So it is not about the \"tone\" or \"style\". It is about trying our best to be nice to other people in online forums, just like you would in real life.
In a nutshell, babe! Well done!
Nice to see you back, tam.
And with more character too, i must say.. πŸ˜‰

I get straightforward, but i dun get those finger pointing,
personal attack-comments... i apply to the have nothing
good to say, don't say anything..

Pleasing someone or making someone feel happy aside,
(cos i don't necessarily find pleasing someone IS interpersonal)
a person with interpersonal skills can gauge the group's temperament..
Each and everyone in the group. THEE person makes effort to include
everyone in conversations - never makes a single one feel left out. In
group projects, THEE one bothers to inquire everybody's opinion no
matter how big or no matter how small - each person's contribution
is valued. THEE person is also one who will diplomatically solve issues
within groups opposed to - fuelling to the fire. But instead put water
over fire... then gets the two oppositions to shake on it on the effort
of a more positive interaction. It does not take a highly qualified person,
to be THE ONE but one with enuf skills, EQ and most importantly respect
to every kind in this world, human, plants animals and heck... even air
lah. (Got air pollution mah..)

A person can say they believe in diplomacy and whatever else, but
actions speak louder than words. Others around will know if one is
of good nature by the way she speaks and presents herself. Words
will never come hurtful, intending to be hurtful, finger pointing,
labelling, sarcastic or with intention to be sarcastic or worse still rude.
We can just tell.....

No one is above the rest,
except God.

Basic is still - respect.
Be nice.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17770https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17770Sun, 22 Feb 2009 14:41:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Sun, 22 Feb 2009 12:40:01 GMT]]>

insider:

You have your writing style (more bird chirping like) and I have mine (generally is towards more no-nonsense/serious tone, but it is not meant to hurt people). Each of us has to learn to β€˜tone’ down the β€˜noise’ of each other’s posts and then we would not cross swords unnecessarily.

I apologise once again if I ever hurt you in anyway.

Peace!
Actually my post was not necessarily directed at you. It is a summary of the different types of people I have met so far in this forum.

I was not expecting any apology from you. I don't understand what you mean by \"bird chirping tone\", hopefully you mean that I write in a \"very nice tone\".

But I would like to share with you some of my experiences. I knew a very nice mommy in another forum (about mommies and babies). She is very positive and always seems so happy when she writes in the forum. One day when I met her in person, I discovered that she is blind in one eye. She never wrote about this in the forum.

In another forum (about beauty and fashion), I knew a very friendly young lady, highly educated, well traveled, and about to be married. One day when I met her in person, I discovered that half her face is covered by a huge scar. It turns out that she had a huge birthmark on her face which was surgically removed. She was such a friendly and matured young lady, and also very positive. I would never have guessed.

The point is that you have never met anyone in this forum. You know them only by the words that they wrote. But you don't know their background. That person may be struggling to support her family. That person's husband/wife may be seriously ill. I am not talking about myself. The thing is that you never know because you have never met him or her. You may have said something that hurt that person in some way that you cannot understand.

So it is not about the \"tone\" or \"style\". It is about trying our best to be nice to other people in online forums, just like you would in real life.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17761https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17761Sun, 22 Feb 2009 12:40:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:20:40 GMT]]>sleepy,

It is great that your girl can \"self learn\" to have good interpersonal skills.

Hi all,
Any one have tips about how to teach a child to have good interpersonal skills ? It will be great to have a step by step instruction guide. I know there are courses for good interpersonal skills for adults, but not for kids.

Good interpersonal skills is not only about EQ, it is more on how to relate to other people, how to make other people like you better.

Here is what I can think of :

1. The most important thing is to be sensitive to others. I try to teach my girl to do and say things that make other people feel happy. For example, when her paternal grandmother visits, my girl puts on a dress bought by her grandmother. She knows that her grandmother will be happy to see her wearing the dress.

I have come across many insensitive adults who are too eager to say things to hurt other people's feelings. I wonder if these people don't care about how other people feel, or really don't know how to be sensitive. These adults really have very bad interpersonal skills.


2. I want to teach my kids that there is no point arguing with other people. Some adults simply love to argue, they must prove that they are correct, and they go on and on until they have the last word. Whether it is in real life, or in online forums, this type of people are very annoying.

I do not see any advantage in winning an argument. If we disagree with other people, we should just voice out once, then forget about trying to make other people agree with us.



Any more suggestions ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17723https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/17723Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:20:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:13:35 GMT]]>

mincy:
I do agree that it's true that there could be a limit to some...esp to people who are already old and entrench to their way of thinking and do not have a motivation to improve.

For children and young people and ourselves (because we are motivated ) there is always hope. Stay positive! We wont know if we can exceed what we believe to be the limit of our ability until we try.
Yes I agree staying positive is important and trying is a MUST. Just to share, incidentally the people I have met that hit the EQ limit are working people, in their 20s, not the old people. It was not a lack of motivation but a lack of ability to move up to that level of understanding. Many ideas were misinterpreted. It was tough decision for me to make but in the end I had to let the person go because the profile was a total misfit. Not entirely the person's fault, but at least we had tried.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/16739https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/16739Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:13:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:54:44 GMT]]>I do agree that it’s true that there could be a limit to some…esp to people who are already old and entrench to their way of thinking and do not have a motivation to improve.

For children and young people and ourselves (because we are motivated ) there is always hope. Stay positive! We wont know if we can exceed what we believe to be the limit of our ability until we try.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15787https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15787Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:54:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:32:56 GMT]]>

mincy:
[quote] I will try to make the best out of what the child has

Actually, it is all in good fun to choose πŸ˜„ And ks2me, you are right that we should treasure our children for what they are.

However, I believe that we as parents can help improve on both the child's EQ and intelligence. EQ, basically involve empathy, kindness, honesty, respect and being able to understand and manage one's own emotions and thoughts. I do agree that some people are born with high EQ. But at the same time, many of the components of EQ are values and habits that we can help inculcate and encourage in our children and ourselves should we want to.[/quote]Yes I agree it is for the fun of it. But becos in reality I cannot choose, cos everything is God bless, so I rather focus on what I can do... LOL...again this is just me la... As for improving of EQ, I too believe it can be done except that without some intrinsic feature, it hits the limit faster. I used to think that everyone could be trained to improve in that area to a desired level and that was because I was only exposed to a certain type of people at school. But at work, I had met a wider spread of people so the realisation came when some limits were hit. Having said this, I do not rule out the possibility that children may have a more versatile profile hence EQ improvement may be more significant in them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15759https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15759Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:32:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:50:41 GMT]]>[quote] I will try to make the best out of what the child has[/quote]
Actually, it is all in good fun to choose πŸ˜„ And ks2me, you are right that we should treasure our children for what they are.

However, I believe that we as parents can help improve on both the child's EQ and intelligence. EQ, basically involve empathy, kindness, honesty, respect and being able to understand and manage one's own emotions and thoughts. I do agree that some people are born with high EQ. But at the same time, many of the components of EQ are values and habits that we can help inculcate and encourage in our children and ourselves should we want to.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15756https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15756Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:50:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 09:41:09 GMT]]>

tamarind:

sleepy,
You must be very happy with your girl's transformation. Do you think that the teacher did a good job ? Or was it the general environment in her kindy ?
Not the teachers. I think she figures out how to make friends after a while. She probably modelled her groofiness after her younger sister as she can see that it works well for sister.

Going to kindy helps a great deal as she gets to interact with other children & to figure out for herself what works what doesn't. For instance, possessing leadership skill is great but being bossy isn't. where to draw the line? She has to learn through trial & error. Still learning though, as I noticed she's still quite bossy

I noticed my groofy younger girl also borrowed her serious behaviour from her elder sister. Teachers commented she's very serious & attentive in class, so unlike her usual groofy behaviour at home

Somehow they copied each other's behaviour

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15744https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15744Tue, 03 Feb 2009 09:41:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 07:58:23 GMT]]>

buds:
Heyya shylyn,


Baobei cultivated the EQ in you!
And hurray for Mandarin speaking Diego and Dora!
Hahahahaaa!
Yaloh..mabbe he is my 'shi fu' instead to coach me on the aspects of life..heheh πŸ˜‰

guess there's indeed a benefit from watching Dora eh? Actually my intend is to let him master some Mandarin along the way...cos he's too English speaking oredi...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15742https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15742Tue, 03 Feb 2009 07:58:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:20:51 GMT]]>

buds:
shylyn:

Btw.. I wonder why it is 500 & not any other number...hmm.. :? Heheh...let's not start e fire again...


Woi...
Naughty aah you!
(Pointer in waving motion)

Hahahaa!
Joke taken!
:celebrate:

Let's not start the fire!

10 ways to raise a child's EQ http://www.edutainingkids.com/articles/kidsemotionalintelligencequotient.html

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15733https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15733Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:20:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:01:28 GMT]]>

lizawa:

It will be perfect if you have a child with high EQ and high IQ, but given only 1 choice, I would prefer one with high EQ. How about you ?
I won't choose because I will try to make the best out of what the child has. Most people belong to middle of both and what is important is to let a child enjoy his/her life. High IQ, EQ are only what mankind develop to broadly give a categorisation of how we can nurture a child and to some people, this is required, to some this is not. If I focus on developing a child regardless of the intrinsic characteristics, maybe I can get more surprises. Maybe I don't like everything so predictable, but that is just me. And that is not to say there is anything wrong in choosing either one, just my opinion only.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15720https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15720Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:01:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:52:12 GMT]]>

shylyn:
csc:



I observe that people with very high IQ usually have lower EQ but guess , they are smart enough to discover that to survive and to be successful in this real world , they need to develop their interpersonal skills too, to reach out and interact with all ranks of society (especially if their jobs require it) and not just socialise within that 500.. ( πŸ˜‰ )

I'm a little greedy.... IQ must not be too low lah.... but yes, i vote for high EQ..

Csc
How right u put it.. πŸ˜‰ I would also opt for high EQ..esp after starting working, I really find that my paper qualifications is just an entry to my job..which demands a lot of interpersonal skills and networking..should hv work on this more when I was younger.. :lol:
btw..I wonder why it is 500 & not any other number...hmm.. :? Heheh...let's not start e fire again...

Yeah, not too low IQ, agree.

Let me guess why it is 500. 500 = top 1% per cohort ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15718https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15718Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:52:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:48:30 GMT]]>

shylyn:
Btw.. I wonder why it is 500 & not any other number...hmm.. :? Heheh...let's not start e fire again...

Woi...
Naughty aah you!
(Pointer in waving motion)

Hahahaa!
Joke taken!
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15705https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15705Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:48:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:44:49 GMT]]>Heyya shylyn,


Baobei cultivated the EQ in you!
And hurray for Mandarin speaking Diego and Dora!
Hahahahaaa!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15704https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15704Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:44:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:42:08 GMT]]>

csc:


I observe that people with very high IQ usually have lower EQ but guess , they are smart enough to discover that to survive and to be successful in this real world , they need to develop their interpersonal skills too, to reach out and interact with all ranks of society (especially if their jobs require it) and not just socialise within that 500.. ( πŸ˜‰ )

I'm a little greedy.... IQ must not be too low lah.... but yes, i vote for high EQ..
Csc
How right u put it.. πŸ˜‰ I would also opt for high EQ..esp after starting working, I really find that my paper qualifications is just an entry to my job..which demands a lot of interpersonal skills and networking..should hv work on this more when I was younger.. :lol:
btw..I wonder why it is 500 & not any other number...hmm.. :? Heheh...let's not start e fire again...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15703https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15703Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:42:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:37:08 GMT]]>

buds:
Heyya shylyn,


Your baobei sounds really really cute..
My 2nd one is like that too, so i can understand
exactly what you mean when you describe him.
Like i can almost picture him.... ehem, almost.
Hehee..

It makes the labour pain cool and worth it!
Ahak!
Yoz Buds
heheh...high 5 then.. :lol:
In fact, I'm the type who don't really fancy children b4 having my boy..heheh..the type who prefers to look & drool at cute little animals than cute little bbs/children..with his arrival, this change me totally loh...I also cannot believe (in the past) that I'll b the person I am now.

By the way, I wanted to reply to your post in the Average children thread..but unable to upload the post...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15698https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15698Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:37:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:23:18 GMT]]>

lizawa:


It will be perfect if you have a child with high EQ and high IQ, but given only 1 choice, I would prefer one with high EQ. How about you ?
I observe that people with very high IQ usually have lower EQ but guess , they are smart enough to discover that to survive and to be successful in this real world , they need to develop their interpersonal skills too, to reach out and interact with all ranks of society (especially if their jobs require it) and not just socialise within that 500.. ( πŸ˜‰ )

I'm a little greedy.... IQ must not be too low lah.... but yes, i vote for high EQ..

Mincy, you are right...... high EQ people are able to employ the high IQ people to plan and work for them......wow!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15692https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15692Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:23:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:20:04 GMT]]>Heyya shylyn,


Your baobei sounds really really cute…
My 2nd one is like that too, so i can understand
exactly what you mean when you describe him.
Like i can almost picture him… ehem, almost.
Hehee…

It makes the labour pain cool and worth it!
Ahak!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15691https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15691Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:20:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:16:23 GMT]]>Heyya lizawa & mincy,


You've both put it nicely in a nutshell.
Here's to more EQ for all.
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15690https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15690Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:16:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Can good interpersonal skills be taught ? on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:05:33 GMT]]>[quote]It will be perfect if you have a child with high EQ and high IQ, but given only 1 choice, I would prefer one with high EQ. How about you ?[/quote]
higher EQ definetly... I believe it is high EQ that results in happiness for a person. History also have many examples of succesful leaders who were not very academically inclined but got very high EQ... with their high EQ, they got high IQ people to serve them and be loyal to them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15689https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15689Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:05:33 GMT