My child doesn't enjoy school

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 30 Mar 2010 04:10:30 GMT

heyhoe — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 04:10:30 GMT

:thankyou:

Thank you to all mommies. Wow, a year has pass and now he's in P2.

Just to share that this year, I can see him running up to his form teacher. He truly adores his teacher . I'm glad that he finally fits in and the preserverance has paid off. I enjoyed talking to his teachers as well as they seems geniuely caring and notice his strength and weakness (untidiness :stupid: )

Hope he will continue to handle the challenges in life.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:59:10 GMT

yvonnemommy — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:59:10 GMT

Tough situation. But don’t worry. Things gonna be Ok. Maybe you can turn to an interesting way that can draw your child’s interest in school. DD is using beestar.org. It’s a lovely website. She loves it very much. You can have your child try the cute worksheets. They are full of interesting pictures and stories. Maybe these worksheets can make him interested in learning slowly. This has happened to my daughter. Good luck.

Lisa

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:57:18 GMT

learningtobekiasu — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:57:18 GMT

just a quick update in our case. we met with the principal. she thanked us for providing more information to her on our child’s behavioural traits and will speak with the class teacher to get her feedback and response…

we shall see if things improve.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Mon, 23 Feb 2009 05:45:47 GMT

heyhoe — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 05:45:47 GMT

Thank you to all mommies who have taken time to write on their helpful suggestions.

After meeting up with his form teacher, we have agreed that he would offer his assistance to his classmates as long as he finished his work earlier. Alternatively, he can read story book or draw while waiting for the rest of his classmates.

Another reason that I can think of now is that my kid is a sensitive child. Perhaps, he takes offense where none is intended and frustrated at a world that fails to live up his expectation. I guess we’ll just have to face it day by day and hope that he’ll eventually enjoy school.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:56:29 GMT

learningtobekiasu — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:56:29 GMT

the teacher is pre-historic, which i believe is part of the problem - still using methods from 30 years ago! recalled from retirement i was told.

there is a communications book and teacher and parents write to each other in the book (doubt this teacher uses email!). anyway, this is not a one off. there are complains about his behaviour every other day.

this is what has alerted us that there is an issue. we have made an appointment with the principal to discuss and ask her for help in suggesting ways to help him cope.

we have indicated in our notes back to the teacher that our son needs constant reminding and guidance - we just think she is not interested to adapt her methods and fear this might be detrimental to his development in school.

hopefully the principal can suggest something. maybe there is a counselor he can speak with regularly to help him cope with the transition. we know this school does work with special needs kids like autistic students (they take them into ordinary classes and have counselors on hand to work with them), so we hope they might have other kind of counseling for difficult kids.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:22:37 GMT

jedamum — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:22:37 GMT

[quote] he is smart and picks up stuff easily so once he knows what the teacher is teaching, he will switch off.[/quote]
I think there is still a need to talk to your kid and let him know that he should treat the teaching in school as a revision and show the teacher respect (by not switching off) even though he already knows his stuff. Perhaps you can explore into letting him take up a CCA (if permitted by school) so that he can channel his energy and interest elsewhere.

csc:
Suggest you make an appointment with the form teacher to discuss the matter in an objective manner. It is good to hear what the teacher has to say and clarify matters.

And yes, systems are easier to change than people. Perhaps the teacher was trained under the old system and find it hard to adapt to the \"new' system.??

Perhaps you can start exchanging email with the teacher first? Sometimes we risk misunderstanding the teacher's position/words when such has been conveyed to us by our children. You can start by asking about how your kid has been doing/coping in class. If you acknowledged that he deserves to be 'stretched' to curb his boredom in class, perhaps you can suggest to the teacher to let your kid takes on additional duties (group leaders, teacher's helpers) so that he have something else to look forward to. Being a selected 'role-model' will also somehow curb his mischievious behaviour (if any).

Yes, systems are easier to change than people, but in some schools, it is easier to change the people than the proven system. Sometimes, we also have to understand that the teacher may just be having a bad day and such is a one-off incident.

If situation doesn't improve over time, perhaps it'll be better to consider a change of environment if the school's teaching philosophy doesn't match yours.

jmho.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:07:01 GMT

csc — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:07:01 GMT

You are not over-reacting. You have a right to know what has happened to your child.

Suggest you make an appointment with the form teacher to discuss the matter in an objective manner. It is good to hear what the teacher has to say and clarify matters.

And yes, systems are easier to change than people. Perhaps the teacher was trained under the old system and find it hard to adapt to the "new’ system.??

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:58:09 GMT

learningtobekiasu — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:58:09 GMT

[Moderator's note: Topics merged.]

we are having a hard time with our son who is not used to the structured system of P1 where he has to sit still for 6 hours. he is easily distracted and bored. he is smart and picks up stuff easily so once he knows what the teacher is teaching, he will switch off.

as a result he is constantly (daily) being reprimanded... i think its fine to teach discipline but am very dissapointed and angry at the way the teacher deals with him. daily threats of being sent to the discipline master and the latest was 'if you don't behave you will have to leave the school... and go to a girls school' or something to that effect.

my child is full of life and loves life - he can't wait to wake up every day because he enjoys living - but nowadays it so sad to see him dislike (even to the point of hating) school because of his problem adjusting to the 'system'. a system which i thought has long been modernized! didn't realize there are still these old school methods being used...

any thoughts? am i over-reacting?

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:08:59 GMT

jesschan — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:08:59 GMT

Hi! I am new to this forum. My older boy is in P3 this year and let me share my thoughts.

I think children undergo a major change when they enter P1. Most pre-school encourages learning thru fun play, has a smaller class size and lots of play time. In P1, the class size is 30 and there will be a proportion of kids who did not have a good pre-school foundation, especially in the ordinary neighbourhood schools. These children will find the school work tough even though it is probably relatively simple for other children who have learnt phonics, hanyu pinyin, number bonds etc… prior to P1. Hence the teacher has to spend more time with the weaker students and manage the brighter children who find school work too simple and bored - tough job!

My son went thru the same phase, finding school work too boring and he only enjoys the recess time and PE lessons. So he often gets into trouble in class initially. Luckily he loves to read and I always ensure that he has a good book to read and that really helped to steer him out of trouble.

Most schools will have an internal streaming to segregate the children in P3 and teaching progress will be adjusted according to the standards where brighter children will start to do more challenging work, more creative writing etc… Children are very resilient, they will learn how to manage themselves eventually, don’t worry.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:05:20 GMT

buds — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:05:20 GMT

Heyya heyhoe,

Looking forward to hearing your updates on
the PTC cum 21st.. All the best, k.

Stay with constructive questions.
Discuss with yer spouse and write them down
somewhere you can come back to later and
highlight the issues to the teacher then..

In my experience, better to ask teacher how
she finds your child is doing then you can
relate your doubts or worrying issues to her.
Sometimes, when we just go-speedbullet-train-on
going abt our kiddo, we lose the focus of what we
actually wanted to portray and request to be improved.

Teachers have 30 to a class. That is hard..
In our attempt to make school a happier and fun
place for our kiddies, instead of telling her what we
want to see improved... we can ask what she thinks
can be done within her given time with the children in
class, to help you out with what you think is going on
with your child.

Prior to the PTC, you may want to talk to our child
whether he wud want you to ask any questions on
his behalf.. If he does say anything, you might get
a clue to how he is feeling then..

Spend time to talk abt his friends.. Ask if there are
any good buddies in his life.. Find out if he enjoys
non-academic lessons like music or PE and what
his views are upon them.. If he may think the class
teacher/or lesson per se very boring, then why is
it that music or PE isn't..

What csc said is also true.. Everyone has responsibilities.
My P2 ever said she lazy to do workings for maths in her
SA exam. I asked her wud it be fair if daddie said he doesn't
wanna go to work cos he's lazy? She said cannot, or else
no school money (cos i dun werk).. So we explained to her
our varied responsibilities... she seems to understand after
that. If she forgets we'll just remind her again..

Children have no choice of not going to school, so i can
understand your stress observing the lack of his motivation
to go through his days at school.. Catch up when you can, ok.
I reali hope things will work out eventually when he is more
adapted.. It just curved into Feb, lets hope March will be a
better month. Esp, with the March Holidays to look forward to.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:27:28 GMT

heyhoe — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:27:28 GMT

Hi kiasulang,

Thanks for your feedback. No, we didn’t give him any advance lessons. In fact, the primary school is very relax now cause they’re revising K2 syllabus. So far, I only see spelling list in HYPY and english.

In fact, we didn’t even do any revision with him after school. Just play till sleeping time.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:04:24 GMT

kiasulang — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:04:24 GMT

heyhoe:
My child join P1 this year and doesn't enjoy school. He gave reasons like he'll miss us, or the teachers are fierce etc. However, I think the root of his problem is he's bored.

After many talks, I discover that he find lessons very boring as he can't play and he already knows what is being taught. He came from a playbased childcare, thus I'm wondering how to help him.

Any ideas, please share with me. Thanks!

Hi heyhoe,

If you are still giving your child advance lessons, I think you should stop in the mean time. The reason your son is bored is that he already knows his works.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:44:26 GMT

csc — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:44:26 GMT

Hi heyhoe,

Allow me to share one more point. I think children must also know and learn that it is their responsibility to go to school and study to their best ability regardless of circumstances. Just like Daddy or Mummy has the responsibiltiy to work to support the family whether it's to their liking or not.

We live in an imperfect world and our children must learn to adapt to imperfect situations. Not easy.. but can be done.

Press on and all the best!

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:38:09 GMT

heyhoe — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:38:09 GMT

Thanks for the encouragement. I will definitely, put in these useful suggestions.

I agree on a point that the teacher looks fierce but I spoke to her before and she seems okay thru the phone. Anyway, will be seeing her for parent teacher meeting on Feb 21st and hope to get more insights.

Cheers,

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:41:02 GMT

buds — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:41:02 GMT

Heyya heyhoe,

Yes, i agree with csc.
Teacher shud know abt it.

So far, what you’ve gathered on this disliking of school
via your son… that’s only one side of the coin. Get
feedback from the teacher too, to find out how he is in
class… his participation, his work attitude, his interaction
with frenz (if she can name a few she has observed - even
better!) Lest, you’ll be feeling helpless on how to help him
from here…

Dun worry, his playbased cc experience will help him make
more frenz soon. As playbased cc tends to have more of
group activities. Mebbe he hasn’t gotten used to rote learning yet…
Nevertheless, i hope the situation with your son will improve soon.

Do update yeah… I’d love to know how his teacher can help play
an active role to handle this kinda scenarios.

Take care.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:36:55 GMT

MMM — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:36:55 GMT

In my P1’s case, he has a fierce teacher who is P1 level mgr and she teaches him maths and english. He is "scared" of her but fortunately for us, he still enjoys school and is learning to cope with his fierce teacher. I think these are what makes him like school and how we help him :

1) Talk positively about school. Eg. we told him that his sister (P2) enjoys gg to school becoz she enjoys playing catching with her friends during recess time.
2) Talk about forthcoming fun activities in school so they will feel excited about going to school. The school does have activities from time to time eg. performance,etc…
3) Offer some indulgence. Eg. The kids like to visit the bookshop and snack store in the canteen. They look forward to such places in school. I loved the bookshop when I was young too : )
4) We also joke about his fierce teacher with him. So as to help him cope and realise that teachers are human. He just need to learn how to adapt and cope. He also need to understand the rules eg. if he don’t misbehave, she will never pick on him.
5) Talk to the teachers and let them know what you are observing. They will be able to help. eg. this fierce teacher, I spoke to her and she is a very nice person just that she has to "put on a strong front" to the kids.

In our case, I felt that their pre-school also helped to instil that learning is fun and school is fun though they can’t get away from the academic aspect. We also try to choose enrichment classes that conduct lessons where they enjoy and find it fun so that learning does not become boring and tedious.

I think it’s a trial and error thing based on understanding of your child. Good luck.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:48:03 GMT

heyhoe — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 03:48:03 GMT

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, I've been encouraging him to make more friends. Kinda desperate to the point of every friend he makes, he gets 5 mins on my handphone (play games). He \"gels\" with 2 friends who love \"Ben 10\". Thinking of inviting some of his classmates over the weekend for get together but not sure how to cope with his 2 other siblings.

Also, talk to his form teacher. Teacher said he's fine and talks to the kids around him.

Really no idea how to encourage him further. He usually drags his feet to school with a sad face. I feel like I'm forcing him to go to school daily.

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 02:47:14 GMT

csc — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 02:47:14 GMT

Hi

From my own observation of my kids, the reason they love going to school (even when they are sick) is due mainly to the following factors:

One - they love the company of their friends.... whom they play with and chat with..... for my son, it's the football games during recesses and yes, PE, of course.

Two - they love their teachers - my daughter adores her pri one and pri two teacher (the same one) and till now, in pr 6, still speaks fondly of her.

So, parent concerned may want to speak with the child's teacher regarding the issue. Hopefully, the teacher can play a part in making the child feel welcome and help her \"gel\" into the class.

Parents also need to continue to encourage their children to be positive , to make friends and to enjoy school.. School is not just a place to acquire knowledge .It is also an avenue where a child can acquire skills such as leadership or interpersonal skills , values such as obeying authorities and serving and caring for others and interests can be discovered and developed in school too.:D

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:52:18 GMT

yjjjj — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:52:18 GMT

my son has the same problem too, he’s not stupid, but he selectively chosse what he wants to learn. If he’s not interested, he totally shuts it out. How to trigger his interes? especially n languages, chinese and english! HELP!

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:49:03 GMT

sleepy — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:49:03 GMT

Perhaps help him to see from another perspective. Since school is easy, use this opportunity to hone his leadership & interpersonal skills?

If he’s good in his classwork, teacher may assigned him to be subject leader or monitor, etc
He can also offer help to other classmates who are weaker in certain subject or topic & make more friends

Reply to My child doesn't enjoy school on Mon, 02 Feb 2009 07:46:54 GMT

sashimi — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 07:46:54 GMT

Not an easy situation to address, but I sympathize.

One suggestion I can think of is to see if you can somehow get him to find and enjoy the company of his classmates, as a reason to enjoy school.

My DD hasnt really complained about p1, but she also feels (and has said so a few times) that childcare is more fun than p1. But this is within expectations. Fortunately, she seems to enjoy the company of her p1 friends, and P.E.