Regin\" post_id=\"1947128\" time=\"1574131613\" user_id=\"182202:

I moved in to stay with my in laws after my brother in law insisted on moving out as my mil became diagnosed wtih dementia. Initially I was very unhappy because my in laws were not nice to me. When tiffs happened between their daughter and I, they would naturally defend their daughter without even finding out facts. In fact, they would dote the daughter until give her their master bedroom. You can imagine the bias. I also felt it was unfair bcos my parents helped me with the kids and they only help with their daughter's so when mil had dementia, they should stay.
But I look at her now, left to sit on the toilet bowl most of the day and in pampers by the maid, I felt sorry for her that she would never expect all her CPF savings given to daughter for studies and helping her kids, that her son in law could convince her daughter to walk out.

It was a huge strain on my marriage. My son is now 9 so it has been many years. In her current state, we no longer have anything to argue, sometimes I hold her hands to pray for her. The one I have issue is the maid. My mum in law is plump so finding a big size maid is not easy. The maid would invite guests over to stay in her room and have weekly parties in the house. I am naturally extremely unhappy about this. But my father in law would tell us to tahan all these (which i feel is easy since he also stay at his other property) bcos the doctor says dont change maid otherwise we will disorientate my mil and cause her anxiety.

Correcting the maid about looking after my mil also yields nothing as the maid would snub me \"later...i know what to do ok?\" while she talk talk talk or cook for her party.

Attending church, sometimes I feel this is my cross to bear. The only comfort is my younger son knows never to throw away any family member even if the person is useless and a burden.

STmummy\" post_id=\"1951429\" time=\"1575449616\" user_id=\"46864:

I feel my problem is created by hubby. His parents seldom showed their concern with my children. They are only interested in their own son or their other set of grandchildren taken care by them.
He wants to be filial to his parents. Tried to include them for our holidays. We did a few times and they are always full of comments, can't walk much or just stay in hotel rooms. But hubby will always comment don't know how many more years they are left with. Then I will be wondering, why are you always cursing your parents? Many can live up to 90! I may be the one who may just die of heart attack tmrw with all these unhappiness in me! Whenever we argued over his parents, he will always be super critical and defensive over them! And I did not even say things about asking him to choose. He volunteered and said that!
They did not help at all when it comes to my children. Whenever we need last minute babysitting, it's always my side helping us.

I am just so tired arguing with hubby over his parents who are only interested in him (their son). Whenever I see other grandfathers playing with their grandchildren, I ached for my kids. My father passed away long ago and they will never be able to feel the love of a grandfather. Because he just can't be bothered.

breatheandgrow\" post_id=\"1936966\" time=\"1569345988\" user_id=\"176031:

For a period of time, I was so convinced by my husband to buy a bigger condo to stay with my in-law so it will be easier when it comes to logistics for our children. I was especially tempted as our budget was very tight and put in-law offered to pay for full down payment. I am so happy that in the end my husband liked another smaller condo unit while my in-laws did not so we did not end up staying together. At times when my mil feed my kids junk non-stop and let them watch YouTube for entire duration they are there, I feel so lucky that we are not staying together. Since it only happens when we visit them once a week, I also could stomach only unhappiness and let go.

Vince19\" post_id=\"1946657\" time=\"1573813382\" user_id=\"165809:

My in-laws are interfering with how I impose discipline on my children. How can I politely tell my in-law not to interfere in I way I discipline my kids?

sweetbaby\" post_id=\"1917469\" time=\"1562215850\" user_id=\"16633:

LOL, Lets say the water looks calm but actually frigid cold. I try to keep the interactions to the minimum :siam:

pokoyoko\" post_id=\"1917447\" time=\"1562211018\" user_id=\"122014:

sweetbaby\" post_id=\"1916249\" time=\"1561700472\" user_id=\"16633:

Agree... Stayed with inlaws for awhile after we came back from overseas. Some can treat their DIL same as their own daughters, some cant.....

Which side are yours on? :boogie:

pokoyoko\" post_id=\"1917447\" time=\"1562211018\" user_id=\"122014:

sweetbaby\" post_id=\"1916249\" time=\"1561700472\" user_id=\"16633:

Agree... Stayed with inlaws for awhile after we came back from overseas. Some can treat their DIL same as their own daughters, some cant.....

Which side are yours on? :boogie:

sweetbaby\" post_id=\"1916249\" time=\"1561700472\" user_id=\"16633:

Agree... Stayed with inlaws for awhile after we came back from overseas. Some can treat their DIL same as their own daughters, some cant.....

sweetbaby\" post_id=\"1916249\" time=\"1561700472\" user_id=\"16633:

Agree... Stayed with inlaws for awhile after we came back from overseas. Some can treat their DIL same as their own daughters, some cant.....

Gilian039\" post_id=\"1905810\" time=\"1554865998\" user_id=\"165778:

There are in-laws who don't respect your privacy; they show up unannounced and just assume they are always welcome. They also lack boundaries when it comes to intimate details, good communication is good, but oversharing can lead to awkwardness, embarrassment, and resentment.

lee_yl:

Basically, I am saying, now I can understand why is it painful for MIL when she was staying under one roof in the early years of my marriage because MIL has OCD and I was lazy and dirty, not clean enough.

More than a decade later, I am used to being clean till I find my mum’s place “dirty” as their floor is like always sticky and kitchen cabinets and utensils oily.