<![CDATA[A boy who does not treat his work seriously.]]>Hi,


I have a friend whose son is in Primary 5 this year and next year, he will be taking his PSLE. She is having some problems with her son.

Her son whose handwriting is really very terrible. Always anyhow write and no one is able to read them.
He anyhow does his homework regardless of school homework or tuition homework.

He anyhow does his maths homework and when his mother checks his work, she almost faint, all wrong. When the mother sits with him, he can tell his mother how to do. His mother is really very headache and the CA1 is coming near. The mother is very worried of him.

This boy will play PSP over the weekends. Is it because of too much game? And the mother also thinks that all the children who born in the year of tiger all the same. Dun want to study, want to play, play, play!

Can anyone help this poor mother?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/2125/a-boy-who-does-not-treat-his-work-seriouslyRSS for NodeTue, 05 May 2026 12:49:57 GMTMon, 23 Feb 2009 15:37:06 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Sat, 24 Jun 2017 09:34:21 GMT]]>My son too... I guess we will just wait until they all grow, then they will be motivated...I think... :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1780616https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1780616Sat, 24 Jun 2017 09:34:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 20 Jun 2017 02:42:34 GMT]]>

angela:

He has been with Kumon Maths since he was Primary four. Now, the mother is very frustrated that she wants to get a tutor to help her boy. Is it possible to pull up the marks in just before CA2?

We also dunno how to help him as he has a bad learning attitude, only wants to play, tend to forget easily whatever he has learnt.

Any advises? (We have been trying many ways to encouraging him but all useless.)
has the mother sat down to find out what is troubling him? has he displayed any characteristics of ADHD or something? my daughter has a poor memory and forgets everything taught. she had a tutor who suspected she may have a learning problem and after all the tests done at NUH, found that she has a language impairment despite all the resources provided. a language assessment was done and she has been exempted from MT since p4.

a group tuition may not be able to address the problem if the child lacks the foundation. a 1-to-1 tutor would be able to customize to his learning needs.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779795https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779795Tue, 20 Jun 2017 02:42:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 20 Jun 2017 01:42:13 GMT]]>Hi angela,


Do you have a update since it has been a long time. My dd is similar and I don’t know how to help her

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779780https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779780Tue, 20 Jun 2017 01:42:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:37:20 GMT]]>Hi,


My nephew got back his SA1 results : English 44/95, Chinese 20+/90, Maths 20+/100 and science 30+/100.

Faint!! :stupid:

He has been with Kumon Maths since he was Primary four. Now, the mother is very frustrated that she wants to get a tutor to help her boy. Is it possible to pull up the marks in just before CA2?

We also dunno how to help him as he has a bad learning attitude, only wants to play, tend to forget easily whatever he has learnt.

Any advises? (We have been trying many ways to encouraging him but all useless.)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/32109https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/32109Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:37:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Wed, 13 May 2009 15:01:50 GMT]]>

angela:
Her son whose handwriting is really very terrible. Always anyhow write and no one is able to read them.

Cheer up, at least he has the making of a medical doctor ... 😛

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/28507https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/28507Wed, 13 May 2009 15:01:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Wed, 13 May 2009 12:56:02 GMT]]>Ha…

I’ve a boy who is never serious about school work. He’s laid back, nonchalant in school related issues unless there’s an element of play.

We’ve tried positive n negative approach but still it didnt work. All we seek for now is as long as he has slight improvements, we’ll all be grinning widely.

I guess different kids mature at different age, different stage. We cant hurry them, can we? They are not us and they cannot be like us, or even what we want them to be. They are unique individuals.

I guess as parents, we’re to just be there for them, encourage them, and help them if we’re able.

Chasing the kid out of the house, corporal punishment are all detrimental to the child’s self esteem. I’ve never cane my son for their results. Its only behaviour problems that i’ll do that.

Because i do not want to find a day when my son is too afraid to come home after obtaining the results.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/28486https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/28486Wed, 13 May 2009 12:56:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:11:00 GMT]]>

ctct61t:
It's really a good reminder for me. I like to encourage my daughter for her progressive in study, but I seldom speak it up in detail, it's true, my daughter may ask me \"mummy, is it that I'm writing correctly....\", thanks for the reminder.

No problem! ^_^ I have to remind myself occasionally too, especially when I 'm busy or in a bad mood.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19449https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19449Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:11:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:54:24 GMT]]>

schellen:
...Nott just, \"Well done!\" cos your son will think, \"What did I do well in? The handwriting? The capital letters? Getting correct answers? Oh, well, never mind, I'll just anyhow hantam next time cos if I do that, sure to hit at least one target.\" You can then see why positive, specific comments will work better and faster. And don't overdo it or else your son will tune out your comments or get irritated by them.


Good luck! 😄
It's really a good reminder for me. I like to encourage my daughter for her progressive in study, but I seldom speak it up in detail, it's true, my daughter may ask me \"mummy, is it that I'm writing correctly....\", thanks for the reminder.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19428https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19428Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:54:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:25:22 GMT]]>

ChiefKiasu:
Dear ali123, I'm sure there are good counsellors, and there are bad ones. It would be unfair for us to use a blanket statement to say that all school counseling services are ineffective. At the very least, they can serve as the first (and inexpensive) line of help for parents at their end of their wits and who have no idea what to do next.

Chief is right. I know of 2 very good sch counsellors, one full-time and one part-time. But they work in sec sch.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19132https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19132Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:25:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:08:04 GMT]]>

ali123:
Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with \"their heart\", in short, \"no competent\"..

Off topic...erm...I am looking at signing up as a http://www.moe.gov.sg/careers/allied-educators/counselling/ next time when it's time for me to go back to the workforce....given I have 2 kids, I'm sure I will work with my heart.... 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19101https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19101Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:08:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:00:58 GMT]]>

ali123:
Schools counselling service will make it worst. His friends will laugh at him for counselling. My kid had gone through the counselling. The counsellor is inexperience. The only thing they did is to complain it to the parent. After all, the parent have to solve it themselves. Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with \"their heart\", in short, \"no competent\"..

Dear ali123, I'm sure there are good counsellors, and there are bad ones. It would be unfair for us to use a blanket statement to say that all school counseling services are ineffective. At the very least, they can serve as the first (and inexpensive) line of help for parents at their end of their wits and who have no idea what to do next.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19094https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19094Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:00:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:01:13 GMT]]>Schools counselling service will make it worst. His friends will laugh at him for counselling. My kid had gone through the counselling. The counsellor is inexperience. The only thing they did is to complain it to the parent. After all, the parent have to solve it themselves. Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with "their heart", in short, "no competent"…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19032https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19032Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:01:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:56:10 GMT]]>There are also Family Service Centres (FSCs) in many neighbourhoods. You can go to the NCSS website for more details: http://www.ncss.org.sg/home/index.asp

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19009https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/19009Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:56:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:45:10 GMT]]>I agree with heutistmeintag. I think your nephew may need external help in the form of counselling. You may want to step in to talk to his form teacher. Schools do provide free counselling service for children.


Otherwise, you can also try the one suggested by heutistmeintag. The counsellor may speak with the mother too. She may not know how to handle the situation and will benefit if guidance can be given to her.

Good to take action now while he is still moldable. I don’t think there’s a need for Adam Khoo or Mindchamps at this stage. It’s more of an emotional issue rather than academic.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18977https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18977Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:45:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:34:57 GMT]]>

mincy:
angela:


This boy is not able so rebellion this year. He had done many mistakes but never change. So the mother is giving up on him and does not know how to handle him.

It sounds like both the boy and mummy were giving up because of the history of negativity between mummy and boy. Could it be that the boy few very bad about himself-give up /deliberately don't try/make mistakes to get attention/spite the mother for \"not loving him\" or scolding him?

Might want to try our some http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/positive-time-out-and-over-50-ways-avoid-power-struggles-home-and-classroom instead. Especially now he primary 5 already and sounds like other forms of punishment in the past don't seems to work for him. Besides Adam Khoo I think Mindchamps also have something similar might want to check that out too.

Ever since his brother and sister born, my nephew always feels that his parents always pick on him on everything and scold him for everything that he had done.

Maybe the parents are busy looking after his siblings (one is 4 years and another is 5 years old) that he wants to find something to attract his parents' attention. But in the end, he only gets scolding and caning from them. He always complains to us that he does not like his parents. We only have a hard time to explain to him as he always refuses to listen and has his own thinking.

This time his CA 1 exam all failed and the parents are very angry and really dunno how to handle him.

Talking about going for tuition. He does not like it as last year, they sent him for group tuition, after a few months, he could tell the teacher that he did not want to continue the tuition and so the tuition stopped.

They are having some financial problems so they can't let him attend Mindchamp or Adam Khoo.

So, we really dunno how to help this poor boy.
😢

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18955https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18955Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:34:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 03 Mar 2009 08:06:46 GMT]]>

angela:

This boy is not able so rebellion this year. He had done many mistakes but never change. So the mother is giving up on him and does not know how to handle him.
It sounds like both the boy and mummy were giving up because of the history of negativity between mummy and boy. Could it be that the boy few very bad about himself-give up /deliberately don't try/make mistakes to get attention/spite the mother for \"not loving him\" or scolding him?

Might want to try our some http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/positive-time-out-and-over-50-ways-avoid-power-struggles-home-and-classroom instead. Especially now he primary 5 already and sounds like other forms of punishment in the past don't seems to work for him. Besides Adam Khoo I think Mindchamps also have something similar might want to check that out too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18715https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18715Tue, 03 Mar 2009 08:06:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:43:26 GMT]]>Sometime a good friend may change him. This is a growing up stage. Nowaday, parent have to behave like friends in order to let our kids to listen to us. This is due to the education system here. There is no teaching about discipline, obedience, etc… The whole education system is focus on how to bring up our children to meet "their needs’’ and then work for them…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18702https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18702Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:43:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:08:38 GMT]]>Hi Angela


I believe the mom is desperate for help and does not know how to proceed. Would she consider external help?

If yes, she could contact Yong En. Check out http://www.yong-en.org.sg/?page_id=66 and read this http://www.yong-en.org.sg/?page_id=42

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18653https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18653Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:08:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Tue, 03 Mar 2009 01:22:20 GMT]]>

mincy:
hi angela, perhaps need to counsel the mum to not scold the child but to use other methods to teach him...not easy for a FTWM with 3 kids. Gaming can be a problem...may be in the weekends, can sent him to enrichment/tuition or only let him play after he finish revision?

Besides that , can also try inspire the child, who is already P5, through some motivational talk, like the Adam Khoo free seminar. Let a third party, share with him his own real life story, which is very similar when he was in primary school, and wake up to study well eventually.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18637https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18637Tue, 03 Mar 2009 01:22:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:14:29 GMT]]>Have the parent tried a heart-to-heart talk with the boy?

Academics at this point can wait. There is a need to connect with this young chap NOW. Keep him as part of the family first. 2 more years to go before Sec 1, when the real headache/peer influences begins.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18616https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18616Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:14:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:09:49 GMT]]>

ali123:
My friend had the same problem but he resolved it by using China way. He told his son that he disowned him. His son was left outside the house for a while without daddy and mummy. After this punishment, his son \"WAKE UP\".... Cautious: Do it with care!!

The boy's mother tried before last year but no use. The boy was not scared. Last year, he played fire in his bedroom and accidentally caught fire on the curtain. Luckily, the maid found out and put out the fire immediately. Then, they scared that the boy would burn down their house, asked the boy to stay outside. Instead of feeling sorry for what he had done, he went downstair and played the whole day until his parents were back home. In the end, his grandparents stopped them from asking him out of the house.

This boy is not able so rebellion this year. He had done many mistakes but never change. So the mother is giving up on him and does not know how to handle him.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18615https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18615Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:09:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:37:39 GMT]]>My friend had the same problem but he resolved it by using China way. He told his son that he disowned him. His son was left outside the house for a while without daddy and mummy. After this punishment, his son "WAKE UP"… Cautious: Do it with care!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18556https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18556Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:37:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Sat, 28 Feb 2009 17:28:23 GMT]]>hi angela, perhaps need to counsel the mum to not scold the child but to use other methods to teach him…not easy for a FTWM with 3 kids. Gaming can be a problem…may be in the weekends, can sent him to enrichment/tuition or only let him play after he finish revision?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18418https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18418Sat, 28 Feb 2009 17:28:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A boy who does not treat his work seriously. on Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:40:25 GMT]]>Just now received my sister-in-law, her son received his chinese exam result. He only got 28 out of 100. :x


The mother is very angry and talked to him yesterday night but the boy just kept quiet and cried.

The mother wants to give him up.

Can anyone help his poor boy?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18412https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/18412Sat, 28 Feb 2009 15:40:25 GMT