<![CDATA[MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW]]>Became a Widow , after hubby lost his battle with CHEMO ....not Cancer.... 3 months ago 😞


I still think Chemo kill him.... :stupid:

Till today , I still cannot accept that I am a WIDOW.... :scratchhead:

To me Widows are supposed to be old ...in their 70s or 80s surrounded by grown up children and grandchildren....
Grey hair , Long sighted....

I do not belong to this Group.....is it just a BAD Dream....???

But the truth is it is not a BAD Dream....

I now have to lead a NEW LIFE as Widow.... :shock:

For the last few months , I tried to face the society with my new identiy...
I see a lot of human side....Bad and Good :!:
There are people who will avoid me...thinking ...I am now in fiance difficulty.... :moneyflies:

Do not like this new Widow Role...... 😛 This new role has forced me to :
a)Refresh my Driving skills after 8 years....of always being the passenger... :nailbite:
b)Learn how to write cheques...pay bills...become a HAndy Woman... :nunchuk:
c)Take on the father role....(the mother and father is me...) :?
d)hate weekends and public holidays.... :gloomy:


So I am still adjusting my Roller Coaster emotion....on how to like my New Role as a Widow... 😐

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/21263/my-new-life-widowRSS for NodeTue, 21 Apr 2026 15:52:32 GMTThu, 14 Apr 2011 07:24:57 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:54:55 GMT]]>

dolphinsiah:
ksi:

Yes and No...because even if one has no obsessions with money and materialism and seek contentment, one cannot escape having to deal with people, which is where the root of problems begin as well in relationships(of all kinds)....in a way it makes life interesting and yet complicated. For me the best way is....inner peace...inner peace..... :lol:


Ksi,

You must have learned this Inner Inner Peace from the Movie Kung Fu Panda 2... :xedfingers:


😄 yes and no....I knew it all the while but kungfu panda brought it to life again....but in a fun and funny way... 😉 Now po is my idol.. :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/452177https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/452177Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:54:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:40:30 GMT]]>

ksi:
Yes and No...because even if one has no obsessions with money and materialism and seek contentment, one cannot escape having to deal with people, which is where the root of problems begin as well in relationships(of all kinds)....in a way it makes life interesting and yet complicated. For me the best way is....inner peace...inner peace..... :lol:

Ksi,

You must have learned this Inner Inner Peace from the Movie Kung Fu Panda 2... :xedfingers:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451705https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451705Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:40:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:05:57 GMT]]>Yes and No...because even if one has no obsessions with money and materialism and seek contentment, one cannot escape having to deal with people, which is where the root of problems begin as well in relationships(of all kinds)....in a way it makes life interesting and yet complicated. For me the best way is....inner peace...inner peace..... :lol:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451640https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451640Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:05:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 05:59:35 GMT]]>I fully understand and feel how insecure the wife was :nailbite: .....

Yes ...I will definitely avoid seeking help from married men....

Looking at so many famous and rich people being unfaithful....
Men having flings even with the 'Sweaty\" housekeeper :stupid:

When we reached middle age , we tend to view things too complicated sometimes.... :frustrated:
That's where worries , insecure start to accumulate.....

So life on this Earth is not rosy at all.... :imdrowning:
So I am looking forward to relinquish my ID from this World .....
20-40 years from now(if I aged and died as an elderly) ......
I will be given a Brand new life ...which I hope will be happier .... :imanangel:

Xin Yun master taught worries comes when you are obesse things such as money...materialists...
If one feels contented with things ...there will be no worries :xedfingers:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451622https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451622Tue, 21 Jun 2011 05:59:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:21:37 GMT]]>Agree with you that life is complicated so easier way is to accept help from unmarried, unattached and gay men. I love being friends with gay men though I do not advocate homosexuality. I do not discriminate them so being friends with them is great. Also, the married spouses’ concerns are also valid to some extent…personally I have a relative who "potong jalan" a married man’s wife while helping them and many other cases where the man was distracted and a marriage broken up as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451459https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451459Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:21:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:11:17 GMT]]>Today , I write with a heavy heart..... trying to stay calm ...viewing why relationship among human is so complicated... :gloomy:


I realised as a Widow , I must not ask too much help from married men.... :scared:

The wife was the one who had offered their help to me .....
Maybe I was too naive too think , they are so sincere....
Not knowing that the wife feel so unsecure.....

Anyway , I have phobia over men now after the following incidents
a)receving pervret calls in the middle of the nite
b)insecure wife ranting about her husband being extra nice to you :nailbite:

So my philosophy about life is correct:
-if you can handle it ...do it yourself...do not trouble others
-treat yourself well , cause in this World... most human are always calculating what benefits they will receive before they will treat you nice....

Like what Xin Yun master said Live this world for yourself not for the sake of somebody..... :please:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451444https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/451444Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:11:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 10 Jun 2011 00:12:18 GMT]]>it can be challenging at times but be strong… and you will pull thru’ the hardship

take one step at a time…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/442305https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/442305Fri, 10 Jun 2011 00:12:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Sat, 04 Jun 2011 03:37:13 GMT]]>:snuggles: stay strong

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/437070https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/437070Sat, 04 Jun 2011 03:37:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:02:52 GMT]]>take care be strong!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434687https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434687Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:02:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Wed, 01 Jun 2011 06:08:49 GMT]]>Dolphinsiah, so sorry to hear about your plight, but definitely very happy to hear that you are picking up the pieces, slowly but surely.


All the best to you and your kids.

May you find inner peace within you. :hugs:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434544https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434544Wed, 01 Jun 2011 06:08:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Wed, 01 Jun 2011 05:43:12 GMT]]>

UncleLim:
dolphinsiah... you mentioned that you were helping your late hubby as his PA. Can I assume he owned a business and now you have taken over... hence no financial difficulty and you have a steady stream of income?


No....both I us worked for a International Company.....now the Company has found a new replacement for my spouse post.... 🆒

So now still working to help the new Management....

My household income has dropped drastically.... :nailbite:

You know every year I need not pay Income Tax.....so you know how miserable my pay is.... :imcool:

What spouse left us is good enough to let the kids finished Local University... 🙏

So I am relieve and thankful I am not burden my financial problems... 😄

Now learning to be Contented in life.... :dancing:

Especially now the world is getting more and more complex.....in terms of relationship, environment.... :siao:

Reading a lot of Buddhism Teaching by Xin Yun monk..... :imanangel:
His essays are very good....after reading his articles , it made me more calm and my views on monetary also changed..... :xedfingers:

Now before I lose my temper, I will think for 10seconds , how to react...something like acting to be retarded.... :roll:

A Retarded person , tends to be more calm when handling ugly situation.... 🤷

I also start to reconnect with my old friends through Facebook....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434526https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/434526Wed, 01 Jun 2011 05:43:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 27 May 2011 09:26:02 GMT]]>dolphinsiah… you mentioned that you were helping your late hubby as his PA. Can I assume he owned a business and now you have taken over… hence no financial difficulty and you have a steady stream of income?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431797https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431797Fri, 27 May 2011 09:26:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 27 May 2011 08:44:21 GMT]]>{Hug} to you. So sorry to hear that. You are very brave. My sister in law lost her dear many many years ago (that time my little niece only 1 year old) and i know it is not easy to get over. 😞 Do think about your kids and be strong for them. Your kids need you and your support to help them to get over too. He will live in your heart forever. 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431762https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431762Fri, 27 May 2011 08:44:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 27 May 2011 07:58:11 GMT]]>

dolphinsiah:
:thankyou: to Everybody for all the comforting words :salute:


But now , the process of my belated husband Will is very slow....
Do not know what is holding ..... :?
The lawyers said needs another 3-4 months.... :faint:

I thought with a Will everything can be executed fast.... 😐

Now I am stuck with his car...have to renew insurance ...road tax....
Park there cannot use.... :rant:


Everybody thought with a Will , the lawyer will come to your house and read out the Will...
The truth is no lor.... 😛
You have to go to the lawyer office not like the TV show....
Then engage a Lawyer to execute the Will....which cause $$$$ again.... :shock:

If I need $$$ , I will sure die... :faint:

Anybody can share ....what is holding up the Letter of Probate.... :?:
Can how long does it takes to process....
What about CPF death claim.....
The whole process might take months to a year. In complicated cases, a few years if there are more parties and disputing claims involved. You just have to wait, no choice. Many people find out about this long wait only when they are personally involved as we do not often talk about such taboo subjects much in our culture.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431711https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431711Fri, 27 May 2011 07:58:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 27 May 2011 03:06:12 GMT]]>

dolphinsiah:
:thankyou: to Everybody for all the comforting words :salute:


But now , the process of my belated husband Will is very slow....
Do not know what is holding ..... :?
The lawyers said needs another 3-4 months.... :faint:

I thought with a Will everything can be executed fast.... 😐

Now I am stuck with his car...have to renew insurance ...road tax....
Park there cannot use.... :rant:


Everybody thought with a Will , the lawyer will come to your house and read out the Will...
The truth is no lor.... 😛
You have to go to the lawyer office not like the TV show....
Then engage a Lawyer to execute the Will....which cause $$$$ again.... :shock:

If I need $$$ , I will sure die... :faint:

Anybody can share ....what is holding up the Letter of Probate.... :?:
Can how long does it takes to process....
What about CPF death claim.....

hope you are coping well, my dear. life is going to be different now, but never give up.

you may feel the need to be more protective of your child but remember it is better to be her friend at times.

definitely, it takes a long time before all the financial matters are settled and if you dont have any $$$, must borrow from relatives and friends..... :oops: and that is one of the reasons i always tell myself, my kids and friends to keep some \"私房钱“ (own private saving account).
this sum of $$$ will always come in handy at any time.

i wish you and your child all the best.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431393https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431393Fri, 27 May 2011 03:06:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Fri, 27 May 2011 02:50:25 GMT]]>Hi. Deep down I really feel sorry for the events that happen and happening to you. But being there for your kids now would be the great thing for both you and them. Time may be tough…My mom went thru it. We helped and to overcome…not to breakdown and disolve. You are still young and are full of energy. use them positively.

There are always help around…pls ask and you shall and will receive.
Look I don’t believe in GOD but I do believe there is always a helping hand in one form or another. Stay strong.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431371https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/431371Fri, 27 May 2011 02:50:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Mon, 25 Apr 2011 09:36:28 GMT]]>:thankyou: to Everybody for all the comforting words :salute:


But now , the process of my belated husband Will is very slow....
Do not know what is holding ..... :?
The lawyers said needs another 3-4 months.... :faint:

I thought with a Will everything can be executed fast.... 😐

Now I am stuck with his car...have to renew insurance ...road tax....
Park there cannot use.... :rant:


Everybody thought with a Will , the lawyer will come to your house and read out the Will...
The truth is no lor.... 😛
You have to go to the lawyer office not like the TV show....
Then engage a Lawyer to execute the Will....which cause $$$$ again.... :shock:

If I need $$$ , I will sure die... :faint:

Anybody can share ....what is holding up the Letter of Probate.... :?:
Can how long does it takes to process....
What about CPF death claim.....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/407370https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/407370Mon, 25 Apr 2011 09:36:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Mon, 25 Apr 2011 03:24:35 GMT]]>sorry to hear about your loss.


jia you~

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/407034https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/407034Mon, 25 Apr 2011 03:24:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:08:39 GMT]]>I am very sorry about your loss. It is never easy to lose a loved one, especially one that you planned to grow old with. But I am glad that you sound positive and cheerful. Please continue to stay strong for your family’s sake. There may be some support groups that you can consider joining so you can share your feelings and struggles without feeling alone.


Please take good care…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/404994https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/404994Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:08:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Wed, 20 Apr 2011 02:02:00 GMT]]>

dolphinsiah:
ksi:

Sorry to hear of your loss.


It is definitely good to get into a support group to tie you over this bereavement period. Future may look uncertain but your children are your certainty, so stay healthy for them.

Come by here to chat whenever you need a listening ear.....as you can see I have LLLS my way to GM-dunno-what-now(lost track, ah just checked GM eleven) with my many LLLS friends here. They are a delight indeed.

May you be blessed!

Good morning everybody ,

Yes, venting in KS website ...do let out my stress...and also update on the latest issues faced by parents, children....
My daughter always said I am stalker...because...information about her school(RV) I always have uphand.... 😉

KSI ,
Need to ask what is \"LLLS\" and what is GM eleven??? :?

ah.... I am glad that you ask... 😉 Takes your mind away from issues when you discover new things.

LLLS= lor li lor sor

GMXI = grandmaster eleven because I post too much, now over 11k...you are at green belt...so aim for GM. btw, for each GM, you earn 1000 ks points. At GM6 and GM12, you get 2000 ks points. These points help you to bid in the auctions. If you are feeling blue or moody, maybe this can lift you up a bit... after all the LLLS, I had enough points to win an iPad during the last auction. So don't just stalk, POST!! 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403841https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403841Wed, 20 Apr 2011 02:02:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Wed, 20 Apr 2011 00:50:58 GMT]]>

ksi:
Sorry to hear of your loss.


It is definitely good to get into a support group to tie you over this bereavement period. Future may look uncertain but your children are your certainty, so stay healthy for them.

Come by here to chat whenever you need a listening ear.....as you can see I have LLLS my way to GM-dunno-what-now(lost track, ah just checked GM eleven) with my many LLLS friends here. They are a delight indeed.

May you be blessed!
Good morning everybody ,

Yes, venting in KS website ...do let out my stress...and also update on the latest issues faced by parents, children....
My daughter always said I am stalker...because...information about her school(RV) I always have uphand.... 😉

KSI ,
Need to ask what is \"LLLS\" and what is GM eleven??? :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403769https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403769Wed, 20 Apr 2011 00:50:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:56:55 GMT]]>Sorry to hear of your loss.


It is definitely good to get into a support group to tie you over this bereavement period. Future may look uncertain but your children are your certainty, so stay healthy for them.

Come by here to chat whenever you need a listening ear…as you can see I have LLLS my way to GM-dunno-what-now(lost track, ah just checked GM eleven) with my many LLLS friends here. They are a delight indeed.

May you be blessed!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403668https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403668Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:56:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 13:12:51 GMT]]>Very sorry to hear that.


I strongly believe that no matter how tough it gets, you will be able to overcome all obstacles and emerge stronger.

Take very good care of yourself and JIA YOU!!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403556https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/403556Tue, 19 Apr 2011 13:12:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW on Mon, 18 Apr 2011 11:19:59 GMT]]>Dear Dolphinsiah,


My deepest and sincerest condolences.



:hugs: :hugs:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/402642https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/402642Mon, 18 Apr 2011 11:19:59 GMT