problem child or problem teacher?

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Thu, 02 Jun 2011 15:44:48 GMT

dovetail — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 15:44:48 GMT

Chenonceau:
ksi:
For forgetfulness, I think starting up a TODO/TOBRING booklet helps. I make my child write what is required to bring to school...bring home and what is todo in school and todo at home from school. The brain has limited capacity, why stretch it the wrong way?
Yup! Teacher suggested that so we're gonna try that out.

I thought all schools practice using a school handbook for every kids since p1. it is like their personal organizer. They copy down all the instructions for the day, homework/stuff to bring/ etc. Also for teacher and parents to communicate with each other. Problem arises only when the kid do not have the discipline to record down.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Fri, 29 Apr 2011 09:25:56 GMT

Chenonceau — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 09:25:56 GMT

Laughing:
Chenonceau:
[quote=\"Sun_2010\"]
You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:
Thank you Sunny! The most memorable thing he ever said to me was when he was 3 and we were playing an analogy game with \" I love you as much as...\" He actually said \"I love you as much as there are rain drops in the sky.\" I am sure most mommies have one or two such memories. This one was mine.

:udawoman:[/quote]No lah... it's not me... all babies love their Mommies that way, it's whether they know how to express or not.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Fri, 29 Apr 2011 09:24:21 GMT

Chenonceau — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 09:24:21 GMT

CanBeBetter:
All sounded so familiar.... My child is in P6, an extremely important year. It has come a long way for him. He also had countless encounters with teachers in school, esp. with anyone that has anything to do with chinese subjects. He always feels that the teachers just like to pick on him. Tell me, why would a child feel this way? I'm not in school, so he should know better. Recently, I even saw the teacher had his behavior posted online FOR DAYS where many people would be reading. That online page is actually meant for homework update. But a list of a-f consisting of my child's behavior, was put up. What's the purpose for doing that? My son found it so embarrassing. Worst of all, most of the items mentioned not done/submitted (such as corrections and homework) were actually all marked and returned days before the postings. I thought the teacher should have a better way to inform me, the parent, if she feels he is not behaving. My friends encourage me to storm to school to clarify her intention. I decided not to utter a word. I told my son, as long as you know you had done the work, leave it. As for his behavior in class, my son was so upset that the teacher only penalized him alone online, and not his other classmates. I told him I didn''t understand, too, as I was not there. I think the teacher should know better. That posting was removed later, even though I didn't talk to the teacher. I'm not interested to find out why did she have it removed. Teachers even questioned my child's ability of getting into society when he grows up!! I told my child - Prove your teacher WRONG!!!

Oh my... that is awful. I too would have felt very angry at the Teacher.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Fri, 29 Apr 2011 08:51:06 GMT

Laughing — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 08:51:06 GMT

Chenonceau:
Sun_2010:

You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:
Thank you Sunny! The most memorable thing he ever said to me was when he was 3 and we were playing an analogy game with \" I love you as much as...\" He actually said \"I love you as much as there are rain drops in the sky.\" I am sure most mommies have one or two such memories. This one was mine.

:udawoman:

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:01:09 GMT

CanBeBetter — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:01:09 GMT

All sounded so familiar… My child is in P6, an extremely important year. It has come a long way for him. He also had countless encounters with teachers in school, esp. with anyone that has anything to do with chinese subjects. He always feels that the teachers just like to pick on him. Tell me, why would a child feel this way? I’m not in school, so he should know better. Recently, I even saw the teacher had his behavior posted online FOR DAYS where many people would be reading. That online page is actually meant for homework update. But a list of a-f consisting of my child’s behavior, was put up. What’s the purpose for doing that? My son found it so embarrassing. Worst of all, most of the items mentioned not done/submitted (such as corrections and homework) were actually all marked and returned days before the postings. I thought the teacher should have a better way to inform me, the parent, if she feels he is not behaving. My friends encourage me to storm to school to clarify her intention. I decided not to utter a word. I told my son, as long as you know you had done the work, leave it. As for his behavior in class, my son was so upset that the teacher only penalized him alone online, and not his other classmates. I told him I didn’'t understand, too, as I was not there. I think the teacher should know better. That posting was removed later, even though I didn’t talk to the teacher. I’m not interested to find out why did she have it removed. Teachers even questioned my child’s ability of getting into society when he grows up!! I told my child - Prove your teacher WRONG!!!

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:12:45 GMT

Chenonceau — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:12:45 GMT

JRLam:
Sun_2010:
Chenonceau,

:udawoman:

The strenght and sense you display deserves :salute:
Thanks for sharing.
[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]
\"The world is heaven in Mommy's arms.\" said my son.
You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:

Ya, I will melt if my son say this to me too :love:
I am really impressed by Chenonceau, on her conscious effort (or strategy?) in exhibiting certain behaviour for some desire outcomes, at the most appropriate time. I am just too impatience to stay cool and calm ...[/quote]Hey... this is a nice thing to say. Thank you so much!! :love:

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:47:47 GMT

JRLam — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:47:47 GMT

Sun_2010:
Chenonceau,

:udawoman:

The strenght and sense you display deserves :salute:
Thanks for sharing.
Chenonceau:

\"The world is heaven in Mommy's arms.\" said my son.
You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:43:53 GMT

Chenonceau — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:43:53 GMT

pixiedust:
ToDo/To Bring booklet :

We tried for a while. Final routine was : put a pen permanently at the exact page of today's date (kind of like a bookmark), instruct the boy to leave the booklet under his pencil case once he gets into class, write down whatever need to do/bring once teacher mentions.

Several times he said teacher said too fast so he wrote short-form but he couldn't decipher his own shortform/scribblings when he got home but at least he knows there was something to remember so he called his classmates for help.

Calling classmates : I asked him to ask 2 to 3 classmate and get them to write the name/home tel# behind the ToDo booklet. Told him to ask those he thinks pay attention in class.

He still forgets sometimes but number of incidents reduced with above routine.

Your blog post is very touching.... ..ahemmm but the wash-window part really cracked me up. :lol:

I will try everything you suggested. I was a bit skeptical that a TO DO book alone would work. He is quite capable of forgetting to write down. And I alm quite sure he will find Teacher too fast for him sometimes so... the classmates number is a good idea.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:40:57 GMT

Chenonceau — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:40:57 GMT

Sun_2010:

You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:

Thank you Sunny! The most memorable thing he ever said to me was when he was 3 and we were playing an analogy game with \" I love you as much as...\" He actually said \"I love you as much as there are rain drops in the sky.\" I am sure most mommies have one or two such memories. This one was mine.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:04:08 GMT

pixiedust — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 02:04:08 GMT

ToDo/To Bring booklet :

We tried for a while. Final routine was : put a pen permanently at the exact page of today's date (kind of like a bookmark), instruct the boy to leave the booklet under his pencil case once he gets into class, write down whatever need to do/bring once teacher mentions.

Several times he said teacher said too fast so he wrote short-form but he couldn't decipher his own shortform/scribblings when he got home but at least he knows there was something to remember so he called his classmates for help.

Calling classmates : I asked him to ask 2 to 3 classmate and get them to write the name/home tel# behind the ToDo booklet. Told him to ask those he thinks pay attention in class.

He still forgets sometimes but number of incidents reduced with above routine.

Your blog post is very touching.... ..ahemmm but the wash-window part really cracked me up. :lol:

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 01:50:49 GMT

Sun_2010 — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 01:50:49 GMT

Chenonceau,

:udawoman:

The strenght and sense you display deserves :salute:
Thanks for sharing.

Chenonceau:

\"The world is heaven in Mommy's arms.\" said my son.

You are blesssed with a wonderful DS :love:

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Tue, 19 Apr 2011 01:36:46 GMT

Chenonceau — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 01:36:46 GMT

ksi:
For forgetfulness, I think starting up a TODO/TOBRING booklet helps. I make my child write what is required to bring to school...bring home and what is todo in school and todo at home from school. The brain has limited capacity, why stretch it the wrong way?

Yup! Teacher suggested that so we're gonna try that out.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:39:21 GMT

corneyAmber — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:39:21 GMT

I find teachers’ words and actions are pretty harsh at times. Words like wasting a space and gong gong would not go down well with me…so kudos to you parents who can take it. I expect no humiliation in school and from school.

I believe the most awful scolding should come from parents. Teachers should scold the child factually about things she/he has not done properly and can expect corrective action from the child. Failing which, the parents have to step in to discipline.

For forgetfulness, I think starting up a TODO/TOBRING booklet helps. I make my child write what is required to bring to school…bring home and what is todo in school and todo at home from school. The brain has limited capacity, why stretch it the wrong way?

Btw, my child’s teacher deducts marks from her spelling if she is forgetful about bringing her spelling book. -10 marks for forgetting and another -10 if forget to get the parents to sign. So even if one scores 100, it is reflected as 80 only. It works on my child who finds the deduction of marks an eyesore in her book.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:08:27 GMT

Chenonceau — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:08:27 GMT

Teacher thought my son was lying... http://petunialee.blogspot.com/2011/04/hes-lazy-liar.html

My boy's Chinese is still of concern but these 2 weeks is the time for confidence building. We'll go back to work on it after exams lah...

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Sun, 17 Apr 2011 10:14:47 GMT

pixiedust — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 10:14:47 GMT

wow...sounds like my boy ! How is your boy coping with Chinese ?

My boy had similar experience last year, P4. His P4 FT was one of those old-school teachers with very high expectations (also banded class). She called me just 2 weeks into the new school term. Complained about my boy being forgetful, untidy and not organised, told me to keep tab on him My boy continued to get scolded by her throughout the year, stayed back every recess to practise penmanship. I got more calls from her throughout the year until I was

I told my son: this teacher has high expectations but she is putting in efforts to help you change. Try your best to meet her expectations. She is a good teacher. My son also thinks the teacher is picking on him and sometimes he is very frustruated but I tried to put her in positive light in all my hear-to-heart talk with my son.

Finally,when the FT called me for the 4th or 5th time, I asked her if my boy has improved since day 1 and she admitted yes. So I told her all of us(ie. she, me, my boy) just try our best and see how he goes.

One thing, she never really said such words as your son's FT but perhaps you can just encourage him on your part.

Now that he is in P5, a new FT, he admitted the P4 FT was a good FT and I think he moved on.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Fri, 15 Apr 2011 13:03:18 GMT

ycted — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 13:03:18 GMT

Thanks, that really helped. I agree that he’s probably is somewhat withdrawn, poor fellow gets scolded some days from dawn till dusk by parents/teachers/ grandparents/ parents again. I have tried hard to be his advocate, will continue to try…God bless you and thanks again for sharing.

Reply to problem child or problem teacher? on Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:46:24 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:46:24 GMT

ycted:
Have been very frustrated with my son reccently - he's very forgetful and has always been having problems concentrating in class, but with a lot of effort has been doing OK in school until this year. He's in P5 this year, and managed to get into a \"good\" class but has been struggling a bit with the work.

What gets me though, is that he seems to have been marked out by his teachers as a problem child because he tends to forget to bring his work /do his corrections/daydream in class - all old problems, but which have been magnified tenfold this year by the intensity of work.
I'm at my wits' end - am worn out by having to come home and yell at him almost daily. Going through his bag only helps so much because he leaves stuff at school.....
I know he is trying hard though, and thought things were better until he forgot to bring some spelling home for me to sign today, he got punished at school and was told by his teacher that he was a \"waste of space\" in the good class and would surely drop out next year. AND forgot to bring his spelling home again after that scolding......Don't know whether to be more angry with this hurtful teacher or with my son.....
Wonder if there is anyone out there who can give me some words of wisdom?

Hey... I am a P5 Mommy too... with a son who is also quite forgetful. He was quite badly scolded by Teacher because he forgot to bring his Little Red Dot to school THREE times in a row. He miserably confided in me that he thinks his Teacher hates him. So poor thing, he had red red eyes, and he was so ashamed of himself that he refused to have lunch in the kopitiam near school because he didn't wanna meet his friends.

So... I did 3 things...

(1) I found an occasion early one morning, in the half hour before we all woke up, to talk about it... that's when he's feeling cuddly and communicative (and a bit sleepy). So, I held him in my arms and asked him questions about what happened, and why Teacher was angry... and as he talked, I lead him to the conclusion that Teacher didn't hate him, Teacher was just mad about Little Red Dot. So all he has to do is to bring his work and Teacher will like him again.

(2) I made light of the issue... told him that he was just my little gong-gong boy who would just have to be more careful with bringing odds and ends. I try to help him... little text messages... and in the morning, before school, I look him in the eyes and ask \"Think properly ah? Is there anything that WE find unimportant BUT Teacher finds important that you gotta bring to AVOID a scolding?\"

(3) Then... *gasp* we brainstormed naughty things e.g., the next time you forget the Little Red Dot, you use a red pen and make a little dot on the page and pass up lor... Big deal!! He looked at me with big eyes in the dark and then laughed happily. Then, he got ready and bounced off to school.

\"The world is heaven in Mommy's arms.\" said my son.

In your case, the Teacher has said something more hurtful than what my son experienced, so maybe you need to soothe the hurt a bit by telling your son that it doesn't matter what Teacher thinks, it only matters what Mommy thinks, and together with Mommy, you will both show the Teacher that he deserves his place in that class. This would allow you to lend him your strength, to give him some motivation to study hard, to allow your love to wash over him and soothe the hurt.

P5 is an awful year. My son is likely to fail in some subjects for SA1 even though he is a reasonably good student... because the exams test beyond what has been taught and practised in class. Maybe your son is equally stretched? Last year, I was tough on him. Very strict. This year though, his school has become very strict and if I too am a \"Scoldy Mommy\", my son will go crazy... or develop some other coping techniques like mental withdrawal and denial.

I am wondering if your son's persistent forgetfulness could be due to mental withdrawal. If so, you may need to draw him out again with gentleness and understanding before you can motivate him to try hard at being less forgetful.

No use confronting Teacher I dun think. It'll just make him/her dislike your son more. Best to try and think up ways to help Teacher like your son. Friendliness and understanding. My son's P2 Teacher called him gong-gong. I was a bit shocked at first but after I got over it, built a relationship with Teacher, became good friends, things were better and now my son's nickname is Gong-Gong. So mean right?

All the best to you...