<![CDATA[Pls help my p4 gal....]]>My gal is now P4 studying in Keming Pri sch. Her CA1 results had all dropped. Her results are range from 50 to 60 marks. She is still playful and does not understand the <concept> of being serious in examinations.


I had a long chat with her form teacher. She is a <happy> study but does not put an effort on concentration. teacher advised me to revise her old work before moving to a new chapter.

I had tried my best. She is with student care now (with tution) and also had engaged a personal tutor for her Maths, sending her to the tution center for English, Science and Chinese once a week.

I am really worried and stress. Pls advise on how to help my gal. I had talked to her many times and also get her form teacher to talk to her.

Any advise.

Desperate Mum :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/2352/pls-help-my-p4-galRSS for NodeWed, 29 Apr 2026 20:50:09 GMTMon, 16 Mar 2009 05:55:50 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Sun, 14 Nov 2010 14:10:30 GMT]]>i hv 3 kids, #2, a boy, being the most challening, whine when dun want to get up, dont want to do work, dont want to brush teeth, dont want to feed himself (he is 5), when u serve bread he wants noodle, when u serve noodle he wants bread, when we got out, he wants to buy toys, when u say cant, he will ask for other things, just to get his way.


for such behavr, its purely bad attitude. despite talkg, reasoning, etc. wont listen. just want his way. he will either whine or act - by crying or appearing like so poor thing, etc if didnt get his way.

it was worse when he was young - lie on the flr in public, run away etc but over the years of disciplining, is better now.

i hv only 1 solution n it often works to cure his bad attitude, whc many may disagree, is to show the rod - my super cane. spare the rod n spoil the child, is my motto. not that i use it immediately but he often wont budge and will test my patience until the last straw is broken.

to me, the child also need to learn what is respect, responsibility, and boundary.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/294540https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/294540Sun, 14 Nov 2010 14:10:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Fri, 12 Nov 2010 03:17:40 GMT]]>Hi,


Just sharing...

My P4 girl started to wake up by herself (with alarm clock) this Nov 10, preparing herself to school without any help or nag from me...

🙏


Perhaps I was too pampered her :? , help to do most of her things. As in my mind she just is a kid. Didn't realise that have to let her be independent.

:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/293366https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/293366Fri, 12 Nov 2010 03:17:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Fri, 03 Sep 2010 01:30:59 GMT]]>Like banging on your bedroom door when you are upset, ok let’s take down the door.


Dun like to brush your teeth properly, ok let’s visit the dentist n pull all out.

Sometimes we must really put our foot down.

My elder boy now wakes up on his own once his alarm clock rings. Now training the younger one to do so too.

If the child really has prob waking up refreshed in the morning, one might want to check how well the child sleeps at night, any snoring, sleeping with mouth open, teeth grinding, sleep talking, etc.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/254345https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/254345Fri, 03 Sep 2010 01:30:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:15:14 GMT]]>

insider:

Don't mind fussymummy, am going to use your case as a 'case study' for discussion purpose.

Basically, if your child dares to \"close the toilet door angrily\" and do all those things that upset you, it may imply your lax disciplinary actions towards her all this while. During the first time she did the \"close the toilet door angrily\" action, what was your reaction? For me, it will be a straight away \"dont need to talk, go kneel in front of 神祖牌\" kind of punishment + don't need to go school. After her knees are pain enough (I still quite old fashion in my punishment...), then we talk and she has to tell me what went wrong.

If you allow her to do something disrespectful without consequences, then she will only be bolder and bolder and maybe to the extent of uncontrollable (becoming a habit of bullying you). If she has siblings, one may copy another, and then the whole house may be a \"no laws land\" and be chaotic.

If you can be more hard hearted, talk to her nicely about the needs of maintaining her personal hygiene and tell her that you will leave all these to her and will not bug her anymore in the morning and you hv confidence that she will know how to take care of herself. Let her tell you how she feels and talks along the line. Ａｆｔｅｒ　the talk, let her be. Want to brush teeth / comb hair, do it; don't want, your issues. Seriously give up in trying to bug her coz you may have to bug her until 16 or 18 or 20! Probably she is used to 'enjoying' the morning commotion, so take it away! (actually quite unimaginable for me to think that a P4 child still has to be told to brush teeth / comb hair every morning...)

PS: Generally I have this thought of if a parent cannot control her child when the child is still in primary school, then high chance of the parent losing total control when the child reaches teenage years. So very important to be still in control during their younger years...

Hi insider,

I dont mind at all...

As I strongly believe that 没有教不好的孩子, 只有会不教的父母..

When I encounter problem with kids or my kids misbehave, first I will ask myself what did I do, what's wrong with my method, which caused them like that....

I feel glad that I know this forum, which I can learn and seek help about parenting, as due to some situation, I seldom share about my personal / family problem with others..

I will study your point and see how should I to improve to be a good mum...


:thankyou:

:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/254077https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/254077Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:15:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:26:31 GMT]]>

insider:
Reading this thread making me wonder and trying to recall whether my kids still cried when they were in P4...


I don't remember both of them still cried at that age (unless kena caned for serious misbehaviour). Regular crying behaviour in my opinion usually stops at around age 7 or 8, when the kids can verbalise their thoughts and wants. From their age 7/8 to now 16/18 years old, probably they cried for less than 6 times in total?

My 7 years old will cry probably average once in a quarter or semi-annually I think, when he is put under embarrassing situations (his perception) or when he cannot handle a serious questioning session from me (when i sensed he lied) or when he kena caned...
Actually that was my thought as well. 1st thing that went through my mind was, \"Oh gosh! You mean I have so many more years of whining to handle?!?!?\"

While I do not have any kids that age yet, I pray that by then, my kids would have passed that phase. Now at the age of P1 and K1, there will be days when I will have to hustle them into their morning routines but not often. And on such days, if a few curt instructions are still insufficient, I will tell them, choice is theirs, when it comes time to go to school, they will still have to go, regardless of what state of grooming they are in and breakfast eaten or not. Then I will proceed with my own routine of having breakfast and reading the papers.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253998https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253998Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:26:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:17:30 GMT]]>

insider:



............. Basically, if your child dares to \"close the toilet door angrily\" and do all those things that upset you, it may imply your lax disciplinary actions towards her all this while. During the first time she did the \"close the toilet door angrily\" action, what was your reaction? For me, it will be a straight away \"dont need to talk, go kneel in front of 神祖牌\" kind of punishment + don't need to go school. After her knees are pain enough (I still quite old fashion in my punishment...), then we talk and she has to tell me what went wrong.

If you allow her to do something disrespectful without consequences, then she will only be bolder and bolder and maybe to the extent of uncontrollable (becoming a habit of bullying you). If she has siblings, one may copy another, and then the whole house may be a \"no laws land\" and be chaotic.

If you can be more hard hearted, talk to her nicely about the needs of maintaining her personal hygiene and tell her that you will leave all these to her and will not bug her anymore in the morning and you hv confidence that she will know how to take care of herself. Let her tell you how she feels and talks along the line. Ａｆｔｅｒ　the talk, let her be. Want to brush teeth / comb hair, do it; don't want, your issues. Seriously give up in trying to bug her coz you may have to bug her until 16 or 18 or 20! Probably she is used to 'enjoying' the morning commotion, so take it away! (actually quite unimaginable for me to think that a P4 child still has to be told to brush teeth / comb hair every morning...)

PS: Generally I have this thought of if a parent cannot control her child when the child is still in primary school, then high chance of the parent losing total control when the child reaches teenage years. So very important to be still in control during their younger years...
Totally Agreed.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253989https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253989Thu, 02 Sep 2010 08:17:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:47:32 GMT]]>Could it be the school is too far away and the wake up time has to be very early? Just my 2 cents thought

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253969https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253969Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:47:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:07:19 GMT]]>

sleepy:
fussyMummy:

Hi,


I dont know how to handle my DD who is P4 this year ... 😢

Nowsadays, almost every morning, she refuse to wake up in the morning... 😞

If I wake her up nicely, she not even move her body... till I :rant: .... then she will close the toilet door angrily.... :stupid: and take her own sweet time to brush teeth...and once I rush her (scared she missed the school bus), then she will not wash her face and comb her hairs :slapshead: just change her school suit and go to school like that.... :faint:

Normally I insist she brush teeth+ wash face and comb her hair nicely.. then she starts 😢 ...... make me really :frustrated: and think to :nunchuk: her early in the morning... :nailbite:

I let her sleep at 9pm everynight, mostly.. not latest by 10pm and wake up at 6am...

😢 I really feel helpless :clubmyself:

Mine too! Tug of war every day to get her to school on time. She's in afternoon session. Now still at home :x

Ya, same problem, every morning I need to plead with my kids to get up, only the oldest in secondary 4 is ok, it is stressful in the morning in the house with shouting and even crying. I am not sure if I should have sent them to good schools now as they always say a lot of homework, cannot cope. Am even thinking of transferring the youngest out to another school, a neighbourhood one, anyone got any opinion on this? Anyone transferred their kids from good schools to average ones?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253926https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253926Thu, 02 Sep 2010 07:07:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:42:59 GMT]]>

fussyMummy:
Hi,


I dont know how to handle my DD who is P4 this year ... 😢

Nowsadays, almost every morning, she refuse to wake up in the morning... 😞

If I wake her up nicely, she not even move her body... till I :rant: .... then she will close the toilet door angrily.... :stupid: and take her own sweet time to brush teeth...and once I rush her (scared she missed the school bus), then she will not wash her face and comb her hairs :slapshead: just change her school suit and go to school like that.... :faint:

Normally I insist she brush teeth+ wash face and comb her hair nicely.. then she starts 😢 ...... make me really :frustrated: and think to :nunchuk: her early in the morning... :nailbite:

I let her sleep at 9pm everynight, mostly.. not latest by 10pm and wake up at 6am...

😢 I really feel helpless :clubmyself:
Mine too! Tug of war every day to get her to school on time. She's in afternoon session. Now still at home :x

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/253799Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:42:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:59:49 GMT]]>Hi,


I dont know how to handle my DD who is P4 this year ... 😢

Nowsadays, almost every morning, she refuse to wake up in the morning... 😞

If I wake her up nicely, she not even move her body... till I :rant: .... then she will close the toilet door angrily.... :stupid: and take her own sweet time to brush teeth...and once I rush her (scared she missed the school bus), then she will not wash her face and comb her hairs :slapshead: just change her school suit and go to school like that.... :faint:

Normally I insist she brush teeth+ wash face and comb her hair nicely.. then she starts 😢 ...... make me really :frustrated: and think to :nunchuk: her early in the morning... :nailbite:

I let her sleep at 9pm everynight, mostly.. not latest by 10pm and wake up at 6am...

😢 I really feel helpless :clubmyself:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/252964https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/252964Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:59:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:38:10 GMT]]>

Emelyn:
...He : \"Why me ? you go and tell the teacher lah.\"


then he started to cry...
Emelyn, it does appear that your son is suffering from stress. And that stress could be coming from events happening in school. Does he share with you what happens in school? Have you tried talking to his form or relevant subject teachers about his behavior in school. Try to do it discretely so that he doesn't feel that he is being THE problem.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21087https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21087Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:38:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:59:06 GMT]]>Hi wewecheng


I’m also having the same problems with my girl in P3. At least your kid still cleared her papers although the marks are drops. Mine is always maintaining her standard at 30 and I really don’t know what to do with her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21068https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21068Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:59:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:48:19 GMT]]>Must have rules at home. Children need boundaries

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21064https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21064Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:48:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:33:42 GMT]]>

daisyt:
I highly recommend parents to watch \"Supernanny\".

i had only watched a few episodes of Supernanny and personally, i felt that it is more of a showcase of how badly the parents handle the kids that shed some light on our own relationship with our kids (ie clearer as 3rd person point of view).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21032https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21032Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:33:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:23:27 GMT]]>I highly recommend parents to watch \"Supernanny\". I personally find her methods are very useful and effective. I have seen a few episodes on how she handle small kids about 3 years old to a girl of 13 years old. Clap * Clap * Clap * 😄 Disciplines + Persistance

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21029https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21029Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:23:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:56:22 GMT]]>Hi Daisyt,


1) "She is still playful" - playful in terms of use a lot of her time playing toys, computer games, watching TV ?

Playful - lack of concentration, mind wanderer, always wanted to complete fast and spend her time playing with her stuff toys…for eg. baby alive…

2) "teacher advised me to revise her old work before moving to a new chapter." - did you get the tuition teachers to do that ?

I had a long chat with her last week. she cried and saying that the tutor is very fierce and always compare her with other students. I admit that the tutor at times talk in a loud tone. She nows even reluctant to have her tution and request to change her tutor.

Now, just pray hard and hope she will grow mature in time to understand about the importance of education.

cheerio

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21025https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21025Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:56:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:36:09 GMT]]>I find talking to my DS1 (P4 too) very stressful.

If he is in a good mood…everything is fine.
If he is in a not-so-good mood…something I said could trigger a volcano eruption.

Just 5 mins ago, I ask him if he has checked with his Sony Creative Award partner about his meeting with the teacher.

He said "no… can’t be bothered".
I said "but you are joining the competition, you need to know what XXX has discussed with the teacher."
He : "I don’t want to join anymore"
I : "You need to be responsbile. YOu have already submitted the entry form. If you decided to pull out, you need to let the teacher know."
He : "Why me ? you go and tell the teacher lah."

then he started to cry.

Sigh Sigh Sigh.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21024https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21024Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:36:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:23:11 GMT]]>hi wewecheng, just want to find out more before we can see how to tackle them.


1) "She is still playful" - playful in terms of use a lot of her time playing toys, computer games, watching TV ?

2) "teacher advised me to revise her old work before moving to a new chapter." - did you get the tuition teachers to do that ?

Bascially, other than bribe, nag and punish, I find that setting and observing house rules are very important and should start at young. At this age, you could also try out setting time schedules for her which include home work, house work, play and relax time.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21022https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21022Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:23:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:44:15 GMT]]>Hi Mincy,


Care to share what method we can use other than bride, nag and punish ??

I’m a working mother of 3 kids without any helper at home. So, night time very very very tough for me to go out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21016https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/21016Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:44:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:32:02 GMT]]>Hi Emelyn,


I went for the free seminar and my impression is that the talk will probably be very beneficial for parents who are accustom to using punishment, bribes and naggging to get their children to do what they want. It is a different perspective on how to motivate and help chidlren improve. Most of the parents at the free seminar have primary school age chidlren so many of the issues may be what you are concern with.

Not too sure about the 2- day workshop though.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20994https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20994Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:32:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:07:14 GMT]]>Is the talk good ?

I understand that the speaker has not much experience working with children. Only raising his own 2 sons.
So, am quite skeptical how much one can gain from his talks.

A friend went to a 2-day workshop in Jan09. And her conclusion is, the talk is useful for those very hands-off parents. I believe most parents in this forum are very hands-on.

Just my 2c worth.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20971https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20971Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:07:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Pls help my p4 gal.... on Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:28:39 GMT]]>

wewecheng:
My gal is now P4 studying in Keming Pri sch. Her CA1 results had all dropped. Her results are range from 50 to 60 marks. She is still playful and does not understand the <concept> of being serious in examinations...

Dear wewecheng, don't worry, you are not the only one. Lots of parents have the same problem too: kids with a most carefree, can't-be-bothered attitudes. That's why classes such as MindChamps are so popular in Singapore. Why not go down to the free talk on http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/raising-self-disciplined-children this Thursday in SMU and see if you can learn something?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20212https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/20212Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:28:39 GMT