<![CDATA[BGR for a 13 year old]]>If a 13 year old child is starting to go into BGR.


As parents, would you be supportive?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/24087/bgr-for-a-13-year-oldRSS for NodeFri, 24 Apr 2026 10:17:04 GMTTue, 19 Jul 2011 02:30:50 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Sun, 04 May 2014 16:38:21 GMT]]>ya too young! plus the kids at this age may be very curious if you know what I mean. definitely must keep under close observation :boogie:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1282038https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1282038Sun, 04 May 2014 16:38:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 09:26:50 GMT]]>No… 13 is definitely too young. However, if the kid wants to secretly start dating behind the parents’ back, it’s not something we can control. Perhaps, establish an open line of communication so you will be able to keep track of the relationship’s progression?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268724https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268724Thu, 17 Apr 2014 09:26:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 09:23:36 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
13yo is way too young for BGR, though I had quite a lot of secret admirers at that age!

Woaaahhhhh! ......... you must be very pretty at that time? :drool:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268722https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268722Thu, 17 Apr 2014 09:23:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:07:02 GMT]]>Seem that this is a norm in the school as I knew there are a few couples in the campus and all of them are very opened about their relationship. They posted pics in instagram, FB etc. They are very different from us at this age. Just like my DS always says, our eras are different. We had been through this growing phase of life too and the only difference is we hid such bgr from our parents but the kids nowadays announced to the whole world (except to the parents officially).

He knows his mother will stalk him in instagram n fb but he is not worried at all.
O level is drawing near, thinking hard how to touch on this sensitive topic to him who is now at the rebellious age?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268542https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268542Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:07:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:41:22 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
TheAnswer:

[quote=\"jetsetter\"]13yo is way too young for BGR, though I had quite a lot of secret admirers at that age!


I dunno if I had a lot of admirers when I was 13-18.. But I had a lot of gfs who hated me 🤷

That problem I didn't hv. My gfs loved me deep deep... 😄[/quote]If they hated you, they are not real friend la.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268520https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268520Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:41:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:39:32 GMT]]>

Sun_2010:

On the other hand I wonder , if DD were to be linked up with someone, and if she doesnt share it with me, even though we are pretty close, wouldnt I want to know?
I would want to know. But I will also want DD to tell me herself when she is ready.

Unless the guy is totally unsuitable or of questionable morals, I really would prefer not the hear from others.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268514https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268514Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:39:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:34:05 GMT]]>

Sun_2010:
This leads me to a question....

Say for the child is about 15yrs old.
If you are acquainted with your child's friend's parent (possibly thru your child), and come to know that your child's friend is in a BGR, would you inform the parent ? What if it nothing serious, nothing hanky panky?

And conversely , you want to be informed if your child did not confide in you?
I won't inform the other side. I'll just monitor at my end.

If that friend comes from a troubled background, I'll tell my child to end it. If friend comes from a respectable family, I won't wanna be involved because I know it's just puppy love. But if the other side comes complaining to me abt my child, then I'll intervene and tell my child to end the r/s and walk away with his head up high.

There're tell-tales signs that parents can spot, even if the child doesn't open up to you. Teenagers (esp girls) under \"kissing spells\" will appear pretty drugged/spaced out all day long. You can look out for love bites too. Or check their HP history (or diaries) discreetly.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268502https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268502Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:34:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:32:45 GMT]]>

Funz:
Sun_2010:

This leads me to a question....

Say for the child is about 15yrs old.
If you are acquainted with your child's friend's parent (possibly thru your child), and come to know that your child's friend is in a BGR, would you inform the parent ? What if it nothing serious, nothing hanky panky?

And conversely , you want to be informed if your child did not confide in you?

Acquainted only, no.

If the parent is one of my best buds, that means, I know the kid pretty well too, I will talk to the kid and ask him/her if the parents know. If not, will advise them to tell their parents soon for if the subject do come up, I will not be keeping the secret for them.

Thanks funz. I makes me a bit relived. I happen to know the parents of both. The girl and boy both are level headed , smart decent kids. DD and I are pretty close, she shares a lot of stuff with me and going by what DD says - they behave pretty normal, so I am keeping it to myself. Also I really wouldnt know how to call the parents just to say this sort of stuff 😓 And of course, DD would kill me.

On the other hand I wonder , if DD were to be linked up with someone, and if she doesnt share it with me, even though we are pretty close, wouldnt I want to know?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268499https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268499Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:32:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:32:36 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
jetsetter:

13yo is way too young for BGR, though I had quite a lot of secret admirers at that age!


I dunno if I had a lot of admirers when I was 13-18.. But I had a lot of gfs who hated me 🤷

That problem I didn't hv. My gfs loved me deep deep... 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268498https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268498Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:32:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:16:05 GMT]]>

Sun_2010:
This leads me to a question....

Say for the child is about 15yrs old.
If you are acquainted with your child's friend's parent (possibly thru your child), and come to know that your child's friend is in a BGR, would you inform the parent ? What if it nothing serious, nothing hanky panky?

And conversely , you want to be informed if your child did not confide in you?
Acquainted only, no.

If the parent is one of my best buds, that means, I know the kid pretty well too, I will talk to the kid and ask him/her if the parents know. If not, will advise them to tell their parents soon for if the subject do come up, I will not be keeping the secret for them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268464https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268464Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:16:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:13:22 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
13yo is way too young for BGR, though I had quite a lot of secret admirers at that age!

I dunno if I had a lot of admirers when I was 13-18.. But I had a lot of gfs who hated me 🤷

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268461https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268461Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:13:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:11:34 GMT]]>13yo is way too young for BGR, though I had quite a lot of secret admirers at that age!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268460https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268460Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:11:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:09:41 GMT]]>This leads me to a question…

Say for the child is about 15yrs old.
If you are acquainted with your child’s friend’s parent (possibly thru your child), and come to know that your child’s friend is in a BGR, would you inform the parent ? What if it nothing serious, nothing hanky panky?

And conversely , you want to be informed if your child did not confide in you?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268456https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268456Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:09:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:02:16 GMT]]>

slmkhoo:
I don't know about boring - I married my first and only boyfriend, and I've never thought it boring! We didn't meet quite that early though - met at 19 but didn't 'go steady' until a year or so later, married at 23, celebrating 27 yrs of marriage this year.

:hi5: Me too!

We started dating only when I was 24 years old. Me late boomer 😉
And not bored yet

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268447https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268447Thu, 17 Apr 2014 04:02:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:55:21 GMT]]>

kwcllf:
janet_lee88:

Yup...socialize...female classmates are not aliens.


Son tells me his friends who have paired up go to nearby mall for meals/cinema...and I will ask him who pays. His reply is, the boys pay. So I ask him whose money are the boys using? Does the boy have the means to treat his so-called girlfriend to cinema and meals?

Aiyah. Must impress mah! 💋

I dated hubby when I was in secondary school. We always share the cost of the date. I think if the young girls take advantage of their so called bfs, they are really insensible. The secondary boys are also immature. Pay for their gfs? :slapshead: :siao: :mad:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268439https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268439Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:55:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:44:57 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
Yup...socialize...female classmates are not aliens.


Son tells me his friends who have paired up go to nearby mall for meals/cinema...and I will ask him who pays. His reply is, the boys pay. So I ask him whose money are the boys using? Does the boy have the means to treat his so-called girlfriend to cinema and meals?
Aiyah. Must impress mah! 💋

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268428https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268428Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:44:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:39:06 GMT]]>Yup…socialize…female classmates are not aliens.


Son tells me his friends who have paired up go to nearby mall for meals/cinema…and I will ask him who pays. His reply is, the boys pay. So I ask him whose money are the boys using? Does the boy have the means to treat his so-called girlfriend to cinema and meals?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268420https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268420Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:39:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:14:21 GMT]]>My DS is 14 this year and in class, the boys are overwhelmed by girls - like 8 boys to 34 girls!


He always seems shy when I talked to him about his girl classmates, and he said he is not interested in girls now as he is still too young.

Quite sensible of him and so no worries on our part with regards to BGR. But nevertheless, I tells him that he should still mix around with the girls in his class and not just stick to the few boys he has. It is good for him to learn how to socialise with the opposite sex.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268398https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268398Thu, 17 Apr 2014 03:14:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 02:13:51 GMT]]>When I was in school, mum and dad were strict. Hardly get to go out with friends what more have boyfriend. It was frowned upon. Even when some guy profess his crush with flowers or gifts, I dare not bring those home for I will definitely get an earful from Daddy. So I had many friends and many guy friends but no boyfriend.


Fast forward 10yrs, at 27yrs old, I still have not brought home any boyfriend to introduce to mum and dad. Now mum is getting worried, so she tells me, no need so many guy friends, must find a boyfriend. High time you look at settling down. Haha.

Now I tell DD she is too young to even think about what boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. And I hope she makes it into an all girls sec sch. And I am saying about the same thing my parents said to me. Who knows, in about 15yrs time, I may be saying to her what my mum told me as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268338https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268338Thu, 17 Apr 2014 02:13:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 02:11:06 GMT]]>I think at 13yo, they’re busy having crushes. They’re too young to know what kind of guy or girl is compatible with them. They’re focused on how cute or how smart the guy or girl is. I told my DS no dating until uni. And every opportunity, when watching movies, DH & I reinforce this. Particularly about taking care of herself and avoiding intimacy.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268335https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268335Thu, 17 Apr 2014 02:11:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 01:22:10 GMT]]>

zbear:
Dh's nephew got into relationship with his classmate at 15 years n is still in the same relationship now at 22 - still going strong. So, its already for 7 years.


We felt he is too young to start n its so boring to have the 1st n last girl in his entire life- assuming he will go on to marry her n stay with her till his old age.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I know friends who also dated from sec school and they are still together 35 yrs on. Others broke up, earlier or later, though some not until after being married for years. I don't know about boring - I married my first and only boyfriend, and I've never thought it boring! We didn't meet quite that early though - met at 19 but didn't 'go steady' until a year or so later, married at 23, celebrating 27 yrs of marriage this year.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268281https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268281Thu, 17 Apr 2014 01:22:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Thu, 17 Apr 2014 00:29:19 GMT]]>I always tell my son...getting to know more girls when he gets older is ok, just don't get intimate...don't get tied down too early...this way he will understand what kind of girls will be his type. will tell my daughter the same thing when she is older.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268250https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268250Thu, 17 Apr 2014 00:29:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:55:43 GMT]]>Dh’s nephew got into relationship with his classmate at 15 years n is still in the same relationship now at 22 - still going strong. So, its already for 7 years.


We felt he is too young to start n its so boring to have the 1st n last girl in his entire life- assuming he will go on to marry her n stay with her till his old age.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268231https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268231Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:55:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to BGR for a 13 year old on Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:49:56 GMT]]>My girls distinguish between ‘boyfriend’ and ‘friends who are boys’. We have told them that we think ‘boyfriends’ and ‘single dates’ should not be considered until they are closer to the age when deciding on a life partner is realistic, which shouldn’t be until 18yo at the very earliest, and probably not until they are within a couple of years of being in a position to get married. They seem to agree (so far) - at 15 and 17 yo. They have a no. of ‘friends who are boys’ in church and school, but have never had a ‘boyfriend’. They tell me that social activities and group interaction is much more comfortable this way.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268226https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1268226Wed, 16 Apr 2014 23:49:56 GMT