<![CDATA[Why are social skills important for life, not just school?]]>Hi - just musing to myself why is it that many parents are willing to put their children through all sorts of enrichments and classes for everything else except social skills or character development help? It’s true these things start at home, but sometimes I believe it’s really much needed looking at the social skills children have nowadays … for example, schoolkids just entering a lift and asking someone to help press the lift button, no common courtesy of any ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ in doing so … almost as if, it’s their birthright to demand things of people and society … and this is the way children are ‘okay’ to be? What then when they leave school? What happens then? Do we as parents wait for the world out there to ‘teach them’ these foundational skills the hard way instead? Why are we kiasu about other things except those that we know intrinsically that will go a long way for our children BEYOND their schooling days? … I for one know that it’s true that better mannered children/youths get paid more attention in school because the teachers/lecturers find it a greater joy to respond to their willingness to learn and be better individuals …what to do with our own kids today?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/24678/why-are-social-skills-important-for-life-not-just-schoolRSS for NodeMon, 20 Apr 2026 14:19:37 GMTMon, 08 Aug 2011 07:31:23 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Mon, 29 May 2023 15:08:15 GMT]]>I think moral values like kindness, being considerate, being helpful are important.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2109901https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2109901Mon, 29 May 2023 15:08:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 06 May 2021 02:27:35 GMT]]>

san20sg\" post_id=\"2001502\" time=\"1604625352\" user_id=\"76391:

Yes more of social etiquette and also manners such as saying thank you and sorry.
Hi san20sg, I came across this article while scrolling thru FB today. Thought of your post & it seems to give good tips for what u requested for:

https://kidsactivitiesblog.com/84787/manners-we-forget-to-teach/?fbclid=IwAR2ToGG5M9nRQp9HetcUM_fZsp_9ZHviWeFR861OPijwtzNqmqrTeS9Tn4s

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2022811https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2022811Thu, 06 May 2021 02:27:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 01 Jan 2021 04:24:25 GMT]]>A useful list. Certain things were in my blind spot, so it was handy to have them pointed out to me in this book:

https://postimg.cc/sGy3T5nV

From this book if u wish to read more:
https://postimg.cc/hhbmcsR1

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2010415https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2010415Fri, 01 Jan 2021 04:24:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Mon, 09 Nov 2020 06:12:42 GMT]]>

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2001532\" time=\"1604634876\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2001532 time=1604634876 user_id=53606]
The one that is commonly advertised is Molly Manners SG. Just do a web search and you will see they even have holiday classes. I have never tried so can't comment. However if a child has special needs like ASD, it may be better to get private lessons/coaching from a qualified therapist rather than a commercial outfit like Molly Manners. They don't claim to have experience with special needs.[/quote]
true
Special Educational Needs (SEN) is a whole new different ball games.
I do conduct training that teaches children social emotional learning, and always ensure that i know the children before hand. But lucky for me, my have a team that consists of educational therapist, as well as ex-teachers of special schools, whom i will activate when i need to conduct sessions for SEN students.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001958https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001958Mon, 09 Nov 2020 06:12:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 06 Nov 2020 03:54:36 GMT]]>The one that is commonly advertised is Molly Manners SG. Just do a web search and you will see they even have holiday classes. I have never tried so can’t comment. However if a child has special needs like ASD, it may be better to get private lessons/coaching from a qualified therapist rather than a commercial outfit like Molly Manners. They don’t claim to have experience with special needs.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001532https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001532Fri, 06 Nov 2020 03:54:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 06 Nov 2020 01:34:53 GMT]]>

san20sg\" post_id=\"2001502\" time=\"1604625352\" user_id=\"76391:

Yes more of social etiquette and also manners such as saying thank you and sorry.
I doubt there are classes for such basic things as kids usually learn these at home and in school, by example, and by such behaviour being taught and enforced on a daily basis. Such habits need to be built up by daily practice, so classes won't really help that much anyway. I don't think many families feel a need for such classes, so the demand will be low.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001506https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001506Fri, 06 Nov 2020 01:34:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 06 Nov 2020 01:15:52 GMT]]>Yes more of social etiquette and also manners such as saying thank you and sorry.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001502https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001502Fri, 06 Nov 2020 01:15:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Tue, 03 Nov 2020 06:19:45 GMT]]>

san20sg\" post_id=\"2001182\" time=\"1604382668\" user_id=\"76391:

I have tried social stories, youtube videos etc but to no avail. Frankly not all parents are equipped the same way as well. Peer learning is my last resort. If anyone is able to recommend some affordable etiquette classes, I will be very thankful.

Thanks in advance!
What sort of etiquette are you looking for? High society table etiquette? Or how to behave in social situations like parties, or just how to behave in daily interactions in classrooms, at home? Your mention of \"social stories\" makes me wonder if you are asking for instruction for a child with some learning disabilities or social skills deficits?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001184https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001184Tue, 03 Nov 2020 06:19:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Tue, 03 Nov 2020 05:51:08 GMT]]>

zac's mum\" post_id=\"1998421\" time=\"1602398160\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1998421 time=1602398160 user_id=53606]
san20sg\" post_id=\"1998413\" time=\"1602393984\" user_id=\"76391:
What kind of etiquette class? If table etiquette, can easily find some You Tube videos teaching that.

If teaching kids manners like Please, Thank You, Sorry, how to disagree respectfully...all these can be modelled at home, don’t need to pay money or outsource.
I have tried social stories, youtube videos etc but to no avail. Frankly not all parents are equipped the same way as well. Peer learning is my last resort. If anyone is able to recommend some affordable etiquette classes, I will be very thankful.

Thanks in advance!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001182https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2001182Tue, 03 Nov 2020 05:51:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Sun, 11 Oct 2020 06:36:00 GMT]]>

san20sg\" post_id=\"1998413\" time=\"1602393984\" user_id=\"76391:

Can anyone recommend a etiquette class that are not so ex?
What kind of etiquette class? If table etiquette, can easily find some You Tube videos teaching that.

If teaching kids manners like Please, Thank You, Sorry, how to disagree respectfully...all these can be modelled at home, don’t need to pay money or outsource.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1998421https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1998421Sun, 11 Oct 2020 06:36:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Sun, 11 Oct 2020 05:26:24 GMT]]>Can anyone recommend a etiquette class that are not so ex?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1998413https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1998413Sun, 11 Oct 2020 05:26:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Sun, 23 Feb 2014 06:07:08 GMT]]>Hey Beatrice_NoQ ! Oh no, I'm not yet a mummy! Just that I'm specialising in a child developmental program that's between 2 to 6 years old. So I'm particularly interested in parents' latest concerns or anything that anyone wants to share.. 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1221572https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1221572Sun, 23 Feb 2014 06:07:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Tue, 11 Feb 2014 02:53:43 GMT]]>Children learn social skills through osmosis. 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1211520https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1211520Tue, 11 Feb 2014 02:53:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Sat, 08 Feb 2014 00:54:25 GMT]]>Cheers, Beatrice_NoQ !


Physical development is obvious - parents can see their children grow and learn to walk, etc. However, for social and emotional development, it is the “unseen” side of early childhood development, thus parents often fail to address this dimension sufficiently.

With the child’s personality forming at this stage, adults need to be a positive role-models and find good methods to encourage and guide the child’s emotional and personality development.

That’s why I said, social skills is one of the most important dimensions to build for a person. He may be the smartest and have the best ideas in the child or at work, but if they are a social outcast, their ideas are unlikely to be accepted by others.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1209002https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1209002Sat, 08 Feb 2014 00:54:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 07 Feb 2014 03:56:36 GMT]]>Very interesting sharing

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1208231https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1208231Fri, 07 Feb 2014 03:56:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Mon, 27 Jan 2014 10:57:58 GMT]]>Social skills can be tricky to teach, however through research, the kids should be exposed to this area at the age of 3.

Social skills is more than etiquette, what to dress, etc. It is all about a child’s ability to cooperate and play with others, to pay attention to adults and teachers, and to make reasonable transitions from activity to activity when in school. Emotional development is the process of learning to understand and control emotions.

Being able to engage socially at the appropriate level is perhaps the most important factor for a successful life. A person may be the brightest and have the most advanced ideas, but if they are a social outcast, these ideas are unlikely to be accepted by individuals, institutions and organisations. Social development consists of more than just being able to “make friends” and “mingle”. It is the ability to present the appropriate image and to different audiences – remember, people are shallow, the judge you from what they can see.

There are courses for such skills, you can PM me if you are interested to know more! 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1201910https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1201910Mon, 27 Jan 2014 10:57:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:58:00 GMT]]>Hi lizziewine,


I feel that the primary reason why social skills are so challenging to teach is because there really is no stipulated or fixed syllabus or curriculum to cover,whereas when it comes to subjects such as Maths and Science, one can teach according to the lesson objectives of the day.

But how does one teach social skills or - based on what you have mentioned - social etiquette?

In local schools, teachers are often encouraged to use \"teachable\" moments to educate their students in class on social skills - alongside the lessons that they need to cover.
[quote]This practice itself brings to light one of the most challenging tasks for teachers and parents - the lack of continuity in educating students on social skills. This intermittent pattern of education is specific to learning social skills, unlike conventional academic subjects. [/quote]Learning social skills involves one to interact with one's environment in an \"on-off\" manner, and this cannot be helped since our environment is constantly in a state of flux. As the saying goes, \"change is the only constant\".

Social skills can only be learnt only when we are with others. But we are not always with them. And even when we are with them, the situation and circumstances almost always changes and this is something which is beyond anyone's control.
[quote]Herein lies another age-old issue: how to educate a child/student on thriftiness when people are indulging in consumerism and materialism? How does one educate a child/student on the benefits of volunteerism when the environment doesn't seem to support that? [/quote][quote]Students cannot simply be taught that life is all blissful within the four walls of the classroom, while societal influences indicate otherwise? This misalignment will often cause a student to become disillusioned when they work in their later years. Students should be taught at a young age about the trials and tribulations of life, of how one can fail, of how others may be unkind, of how to persevere in the face of hardships, of - in a nutshell - the intricate mechanics and workings of positive psychology. [/quote]Which brings us back to how social skills should be taught to students. Start with the foundations. Let them understand human motivations - why people do the things that they do, the different personality types, the benefits of living the just and virtuous life, the power of gratitude, and the joy of giving to and loving others.
[quote]The basic understanding of psychology are lacking in our young. We need to introduce them early, as this is what social skills are all about. In a frenetic pace for achievements, we often forget the one fact that makes a difference that can make or break a child's/student's success - that human interactions are contradictory in nature, where a mixture of collaborative efforts and competitive culture ensures one's success. With the influx of individualism and concepts such as personal branding,the balance is currently tipped heavily towards competitiveness. This does not bode well for developing the social skills of the young, since an extreme emphasis on one's superiority will cast others to the periphery. [/quote]Therefore, one can begin with educating the young with self-reflective exercises to enhance their intrapersonal intelligence (read: they get to know their personalities and their temperaments better), and then continue with positive psychology, employing tools such as positive affirmations, seeing things from a positive perspective (which is crucial in this day and age, since comparison with one's peer is common, and when one is not doing as well as one's peers, it may lead to a loss of self-esteem).
[quote]Only when one has build up a strong level of self-esteem and establish a high level of self-worth will one be able to finally see that the purpose of one's life is not self-aggrandisement but- ultimately - to better society and improve the lives of others.

This is the highest level of self-actualisation but regrettably, few people ever reach it.[/quote]Warmest Regards,
Patrick
http://www.patricktay.wordpress.com

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162548https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162548Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:58:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 03:34:12 GMT]]>I have a friend who has brought up his children very well in terms of social etiquette. He is very particular about table manners. No one is allowed to be engaged in any electronic gadget during meal times, and that include the parents, unless there is an emergency call. The kids will address their parents (and any guests, if any) before eating and before they leave the table, they will have to say, "Excuse me". The first time I had a meal with the family, I was like "Wow!" I think his is the only family I know, among my circle of friends, who impose a "No electronic gadget" and "Table manner" rules in his home. And yes, both parents walk the talk.


It is also important to imbibe moral values in our children. When parents say ‘Thank you’ to the foodcourt cleaners and waiters who serve them, they are not only practising social etiquette skills, they are showing their children that we should treat everyone with respect, even menial workers. These are values that our children will pick up.

Years ago, I remember watching this documentary on Channel 8. This mum is really fantastic. She and her kids bring their own containers when buying food to take away (go green) and when they finish eating at a hawker centre, they will use a wet wipe to wipe the table clean for the next user.

The mum also does a lot of voluntary work so much so that it has become second nature to the whole family. Unlike most families in Singapore, the children spend their holidays and weekends, not on enrichment, but on doing voluntary work. Surprisingly, the children are doing pretty well in school. The elder boy said he can draw inspirations from all the voluntary work experience in his compositions.

Values are caught, and not taught.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117842https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117842Thu, 10 Oct 2013 03:34:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:50:00 GMT]]>

Funz:
Those are grooming classes right?


I remember when in school, coming from an all girls' school, we were given grooming classes. Must proper way to sit, posture, gait. What constitutes proper attire. Complete ladies' attire should include stockings, etc. hahaha.
Yes, I love such classes. Really fun to attend. None during my school days so I actually paid to attend. Treat it as investment. I find the colour coordination and make up classes most useful.

My dd2 is very dainty most of the times except when she sits down, with one leg up :slapshead: Yo, crossed your legs!
And I forbid 摇脚

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117802https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117802Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:50:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:34:10 GMT]]>

Nebbermind:
sleepy:

[quote=\"concern2\"]Oh boy, how I hate having the right answers to everything. :razz:

Referring to what right answers :scratchhead:

I am searching for the question!![/quote]Oh, sorlie, let me rephrase - right way of doing things, right way to behave...
Not targetting at you, sleepy, just saying things in general. It feels very stifling sometimes. So many people living in a small country, there is so many \"rules\" to observe so we don't unintentionally on someone's foot...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117777https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117777Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:34:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:28:15 GMT]]>

sleepy:
SAHM_TAN:

Social skills include etiquette too? Like fine dinning which fork / spoon to use , or make-up skills, or dress sense like are you suitable for warm or cool colours etc ?


I will not be able to teach my girls how to put on make-up LOL.

I do know there are lessons on what spoon/forks to use, how to navigate in a networking session, make-up etc. I think uni might have such lessons too.

The values, politeness, character stuff I can teach but those outside my expertise and useful I'm ok to let them take lesson. The make-up lessons may be very fun for my girls LOL, when they are older heehee


I took make up classes as well as how to wear the right colour/style classes. Those are useful. I can shop alone easily because I know what colour suits me. No need someone to accompany me for 2nd opinion

I chose my girls wardrobe and plan the colour coordination. Especially if they are attending a party. I will make sure they dress appropriately and fashionably. It's my hobby coordinating styles and colour and now I get to plan 3 wardrobe, so fun 😂

Will teach them how to apply make up when they are older. Now I just apply for them on certain occasions. The one thing I can't stand is their untrimmed eyebrow. But both refused to let me trim for them

Those are grooming classes right?

I remember when in school, coming from an all girls' school, we were given grooming classes. Must proper way to sit, posture, gait. What constitutes proper attire. Complete ladies' attire should include stockings, etc. hahaha.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117767https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117767Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:28:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:26:53 GMT]]>

sleepy:
concern2:

Oh boy, how I hate having the right answers to everything. :razz:

Referring to what right answers :scratchhead:

I am searching for the question!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117764https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117764Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:26:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:22:24 GMT]]>

lizziewine:
What if parents do not have the time enough to invest in the child to teach the necc social and life skills? many families are today dual-income earning ... What else can be done? I'm still concerned on how our kids will fare beyond schooling years and isn't a foundation built now important than to wait in the later years to address this? ...it's funny to me how many parents are seeing the virtues of academic driven courses/help/tuition but when it comes to social/life and emotion handling skills, they are regarded as still 'nice to have' and not necessary. I do also hope we do not have our kids keep encountering people who make us believe in the long run that being nice doesn't get us anywhere, esp in our working world and society ... doesn't pose much help if hope isn't in our hearts... 😄 ... i think the person teaching life and social skills must really want to care about the kids and not come across as just 'milking' the parents ... i still believe there are real people out there who cares truly about our kids - just gotta find them ...

I see social and life skills as a must have. But I do not see a need to send my kids for enrichment classes to learn those. In fact, I find it sad if we see that as a need.

If a parent can find the time to sign the kid up for the class, find the time to ferry the kid to and fro and even wait for them for that 1 or 2 hours, the parent has time to spend with the kid which is the best way for the kid to pick up any social/life skills.

These skills are best learnt by emulating and being immersed in it. Meaning the kids have to see the basic acts of greeting, smiling, thanking, helping, asking from the parents. If the parents are good examples of that and it is a way of life for them, kids will follow. If all these are lacking in the most influential people in the kids' life, no matter how much they spend on enrichments it will not help much.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117760https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117760Thu, 10 Oct 2013 02:22:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Why are social skills important for life, not just school? on Thu, 10 Oct 2013 01:56:52 GMT]]>

concern2:
Oh boy, how I hate having the right answers to everything. :razz:
Referring to what right answers :scratchhead:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117742https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1117742Thu, 10 Oct 2013 01:56:52 GMT