<![CDATA[This is a first!]]>Hello all!


You might be surprised but I am not a parent. I am a young adult of legal age to start a family but I am still far from it. (At least until I get a girlfriend first.) I am currently studying in a university. SIM rather.

My purpose here is to find out more about parenting as I am quite interested in it. Funny how it may sound for someone my age but I do believe that how someone grows up to be entirely depends on how a parent can nurture his kid.

Truth be told, part of my resents my parents for their way of parenting and I am here to find out if I can improve my relationship with them. Pretty hefty words from a kid eh? Haha. But I believe its all about the communication and how to convince them to think like you.

Parenting is like marketing isn’t it? Not as in going to the wet market kind of marketing, but rather like business marketing where one convinces the other with a sales pitch. So being able to charm your children and subtly "coercing" them into your mindset is a skill and a good skill to learn. Therefore, I am here hoping to gain knowledge from you all and perhaps with a little luck, my future kids (Still no luck with the girlfriend part) will be able to appreciate me more.

Your humorous young adult,
notakidnoraparent

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/25180/this-is-a-firstRSS for NodeSun, 19 Apr 2026 13:12:08 GMTMon, 22 Aug 2011 14:57:29 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Wed, 14 Sep 2011 04:02:25 GMT]]>KSP :welcome: you to KSP

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/584725https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/584725Wed, 14 Sep 2011 04:02:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:08:45 GMT]]>Wah! Projects are piling up and I am soooooo stressed! I am about to go BOOOMZ! LOL~


Been a long time since I have been here. I think I need some sort of incentive to come back here. And to solve that, I am open to any questions from you daddy and mommies out there! If you need an opinion of a young adult or someone closer to the generation of your kids, please feel free to ask.

Though I request that you be open minded about my opinions. You are free to retort in anyway you like, just don’t be offended by it. I am just being honest and straightforward. I am just like that. Hate beating around the bush. Haha.

So what are you waiting for? Start asking!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/577457https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/577457Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:08:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:02:13 GMT]]>is this considered spamming? lol

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/575128https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/575128Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:02:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Wed, 31 Aug 2011 08:28:45 GMT]]>a very good morning to you too!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/571166https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/571166Wed, 31 Aug 2011 08:28:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:34:23 GMT]]>Wow. So many feedbacks. I feel as though I am ready to be a parent already. Hahaha. Then again, gotta start looking for a girlfriend. LOL~

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562952https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562952Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:34:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:25:09 GMT]]>notakidnoraparent

:welcome:
Super forum we do learn a lot of 'gem of parenting' from each other
:evil: πŸ˜‰

my parents are 'super tradition'. It would be difficult for them to understand
the way we believe will help them improve their relationship with their children.

Parenting process may be laden with many unknown and hard work,
but is a process full of shared surprises and working together
My son is 15 and we are close and are like frends all the more
as he approach teenager and adulthood
Parenting do have a part call \"the good fit\" which mean the child and
the parent temperament fit and the result is a cogenial relationship,
some of us may call this \"karma\".

:welcome: anytime you want to share ......

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562568https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562568Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:25:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 12:59:47 GMT]]>http://i51.tinypic.com/20k3xwl.jpg\">

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562348https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/562348Tue, 23 Aug 2011 12:59:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 09:12:12 GMT]]>

notakidnoraparent:
Seems like most parents here are willing to listen to their kids. I gather you parents are around mid or late 30's? Maybe older generation parents (like mine, around 50+) are not that open to changes nor listening to their children. They prefer to have a more \"know your standing in the family\" mindset.


It is like they don't believe in getting close to their kids as they are afraid that we will in future undermine their authority and not be able to distinguish from when is it time to show respect or when is it time to relax and let loose. My father is a very traditional man. Things like greeting elders when you step into a home or telling them to eat before starting a meal are very essential to him. I do not deny that these values are important as well, but I believe if you somewhat draw a very distinct line to your kid, they are quite reluctant to confide in you when they grow up.

In the past, my dad is not the kind to say a friendly hello to his son like they are friends. Though there is more improvement these days since all his kids have passed into adulthood. But still there is this barrier that keeps me away. I do not want this in future when I have kids and yet I will uphold tradition that I deem as important.

I too agree that it is important to communicate with the child. In fact, I want to treat them like adults even when they are young. I believe that maturity is based on the kids' independence. The more independent they are, the more mature they will be. Though there might be certain adverse effects on their character. It is indeed a difficult balance to create and maintain.

I am glad that I was born in this era cos we are able to learn from the older generation and being able to infuse more modern methods of parenting which really balances out and greatly improves the relationship between parent and child. Downside is, we face far more interesting challenges in parenting as compared to our parents.
Ha Ha ....
notakidnoraparent, Not ALL Parents R That .... \"Young\" ....
Let's say We Fall within the Bracket of Born in the 60's, 70's, and 80's ....
There R Some Who R in the Same Age Bracket as your Dad & Mum, Too, I'm Sure .... πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

A Lot of the Parenting Style we r practising is a Rojak Brand of Influence from our Own Pop&Mom Era and What We would wish for when We were Young ....
Quite a Fair Bit of Trial and Error .... The Level of Independence Even Varies from 1st Born, to #2, and So On ....
We Do Learn, Adapt our style as We go Along ....

But Generally U R Right in Saying that 1st Born is the Most Privileged since No one is Around to dilute the Attention.
No 2 Will Enjoy a Period of being the youngest in the Family .... Older Ones have to give way to Baby -ma ....
Until No 3 arrives, then Attention to No 2 is relegated to be the Least ....
In A Way parents Unconsciously Expect the Elder to Set Example for #2, and Half Hoping Gor-Gor (Or Jie-Jie) will take care of #2, while we have our hands full with #3 (While juggling working, housework, coaching, etc) πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561938https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561938Tue, 23 Aug 2011 09:12:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:48:31 GMT]]>

sssdarlings:

Hi-5, Kiss... I respond to them the way I want them to others... though there are many heated moments when I forget to take a deep breath :xedfingers:
I know that feeling :faint: , what to do.. Parents are still humans after all :grphug:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561777https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561777Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:48:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:12:41 GMT]]>Seems like most parents here are willing to listen to their kids. I gather you parents are around mid or late 30’s? Maybe older generation parents (like mine, around 50+) are not that open to changes nor listening to their children. They prefer to have a more "know your standing in the family" mindset.


It is like they don’t believe in getting close to their kids as they are afraid that we will in future undermine their authority and not be able to distinguish from when is it time to show respect or when is it time to relax and let loose. My father is a very traditional man. Things like greeting elders when you step into a home or telling them to eat before starting a meal are very essential to him. I do not deny that these values are important as well, but I believe if you somewhat draw a very distinct line to your kid, they are quite reluctant to confide in you when they grow up.

In the past, my dad is not the kind to say a friendly hello to his son like they are friends. Though there is more improvement these days since all his kids have passed into adulthood. But still there is this barrier that keeps me away. I do not want this in future when I have kids and yet I will uphold tradition that I deem as important.

I too agree that it is important to communicate with the child. In fact, I want to treat them like adults even when they are young. I believe that maturity is based on the kids’ independence. The more independent they are, the more mature they will be. Though there might be certain adverse effects on their character. It is indeed a difficult balance to create and maintain.

I am glad that I was born in this era cos we are able to learn from the older generation and being able to infuse more modern methods of parenting which really balances out and greatly improves the relationship between parent and child. Downside is, we face far more interesting challenges in parenting as compared to our parents.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561508https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561508Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:12:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 05:54:29 GMT]]>

Kissgurami:
notakidnoraparent:

On the other hand, how open are parents to their children's views? Are parents willing to take a step back sometimes? Meaning to be ok with getting the short end of the stick? Also, is it very difficult for parents to say sorry to their child and admitting their mistake? Is there a pride issue in that?


I am open to their views but then again, I will comment as well...so you can guess 5 & 6yr old discussing. they do say really interesting comments or rather honest opinions. it will be interesting as they grow older..

by the way getting the short end of the stick tends to be unavoidable as a parent πŸ†’

Personally, I don't find it hard to say sorry to my daughters if I am indeed in the wrong. I do say \"sorry\" if I have accused them of something which they did not do wrong. They take comfort in that (not arrogance I hope). No pride issue for me, I have told them even I am your mum but whatever I do or say sometimes isn't 100% correct so if I say don't learn from me, please don't.At the same time, saying thanks is the way in our life. I try to make sure I say thanks to them for every little thing which they help me in

Hi-5, Kiss... I respond to them the way I want them to others... though there are many heated moments when I forget to take a deep breath :xedfingers:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561471https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561471Tue, 23 Aug 2011 05:54:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 05:41:27 GMT]]>

notakidnoraparent:
On the other hand, how open are parents to their children's views? Are parents willing to take a step back sometimes? Meaning to be ok with getting the short end of the stick? Also, is it very difficult for parents to say sorry to their child and admitting their mistake? Is there a pride issue in that?

I am open to their views but then again, I will comment as well...so you can guess 5 & 6yr old discussing. they do say really interesting comments or rather honest opinions. it will be interesting as they grow older..

by the way getting the short end of the stick tends to be unavoidable as a parent πŸ†’

Personally, I don't find it hard to say sorry to my daughters if I am indeed in the wrong. I do say \"sorry\" if I have accused them of something which they did not do wrong. They take comfort in that (not arrogance I hope). No pride issue for me, I have told them even I am your mum but whatever I do or say sometimes isn't 100% correct so if I say don't learn from me, please don't.At the same time, saying thanks is the way in our life. I try to make sure I say thanks to them for every little thing which they help me in

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561442https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561442Tue, 23 Aug 2011 05:41:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 03:12:14 GMT]]>:welcome:


Saw your post in the Middle Child Syndrom thread. :hugs:

I can identify with how you feel as similar stuff happened within my household as well.

I used to think, b4 I had kids, that I will not do this or that or I will handle things differently from how my parents handled certain stuff. Yup in some cases I end up doing things differently. But in a lot of situations, I realise, I end up doing the exact same things my parents did when caught in the same situation. And now with kids of my own, my eyes are opened, I see more of what is in their heart instead of just their action.

I hope you can resolve some of your resentment towards your parents. I believe, our relationship with our parents, more often then not, will be the mirror of our child's future relationship with us.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561151https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/561151Tue, 23 Aug 2011 03:12:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:25:45 GMT]]>:welcome:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560858https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560858Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:25:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:15:19 GMT]]>:welcome:notakidnoraparent!


Interesting that a Soon-To-be-Over-Teenager is joining the Forum.
I Have 2 Teenage Boys and a soon to be Teenage Gal.

Relationship with My Kids?
We R more like Frens, and I trust them to Make sensible decisions and take responsibility for the decisions made. But My Door is Always open for Consultation, or Chit-Chat, Or Makan Session (Always our Fav Past time ....)
πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560830https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560830Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:15:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:03:54 GMT]]>:welcome:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560804https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560804Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:03:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 23:31:17 GMT]]>

notakidnoraparent:
On the other hand, how open are parents to their children's views? Are parents willing to take a step back sometimes? Meaning to be ok with getting the short end of the stick? Also, is it very difficult for parents to say sorry to their child and admitting their mistake? Is there a pride issue in that?

:welcome: notakidnotaparent.

It is good to have you around so that I can imagine what kind of questions my child would be asking as well.

To me, parenting is a constant challenge because the child is ever changing during their developmental period. If one wants to be not senile, go and have some kids. :rotflmao: If you read on the portal front page blogs, most of my blogs are about parenting challenges which no textbooks have ever taught me or told me beforehand.

As for your questions, how open are parents to children's view, it depends on the bonding and parents' personality. I chit-chat with my child on a daily basis and many times a day as well. Sometimes I consult or confide in her despite being only 9yo. I say thanks and sorry to her as part of daily life so if I ever need to say sorry it is not an issue. At times, there are certain things parents have to exert their authority, just have to recognise which are the ones. Also, if you see many things are privileges more than rights, then it is probably easier not to step on their toes. Your mindset is also important as I look for maturity in my child to determine how much I can let go. If a child only demands and not play his/her role, chances of getting things his/her way will be further delayed. So I love to be given a chance to take a step back....when that is happening, it also means that my child is maturing in one area that I can let go. Not everything can be learnt in one post so I hope you enjoy your discovery journey here. πŸ˜„

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560600https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560600Mon, 22 Aug 2011 23:31:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 18:38:49 GMT]]>On the other hand, how open are parents to their children’s views? Are parents willing to take a step back sometimes? Meaning to be ok with getting the short end of the stick? Also, is it very difficult for parents to say sorry to their child and admitting their mistake? Is there a pride issue in that?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560582https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560582Mon, 22 Aug 2011 18:38:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 16:05:44 GMT]]>

notakidnoraparent:

I think its the perspectives issue. For me, or rather for all parents out there, I believe there is the joy in seeing your child grow up and taking that first step in everything they do. There would definitely be a downside and that is the fun part of it! If life was peaceful everyday, I would be bored to death!

So I say, take it in your stride. Smile and continue on as you will know that somehow, someday, whatever you do will pay off.
Nope, my perspective changes depending on my mood, some days I love my kids, some day angry, part and parcel of parenting. Of coz πŸ˜„ , I am taking it in my stride if not I wouldn't be part of the KSP and going to Popular to look at assessment books. Don't worry, I am doing fine πŸ˜“ Was adding my thoughts since you mentioned Parenting is like \" Marketing\"

Cheers!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560535https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560535Mon, 22 Aug 2011 16:05:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:59:55 GMT]]>

Kissgurami:
welcome! Interesting πŸ˜„


Nuh, I don't think Parenting is \"Marketing\" at all :rotflmao: , if it is then Parenting would be a much easier \"job\" πŸ˜„

sometimes I do wonder if they are some form of Karma πŸ¦† or trying to break me into someone I can't be. :siam:

Being a parent requires discipline, patience, you can't be tardy or messy , priorities are shifted towards them. You can't help but try to fulfill :faint: , I do know my life turned upside down for sure :rotflmao:
I think its the perspectives issue. For me, or rather for all parents out there, I believe there is the joy in seeing your child grow up and taking that first step in everything they do. There would definitely be a downside and that is the fun part of it! If life was peaceful everyday, I would be bored to death!

So I say, take it in your stride. Smile and continue on as you will know that somehow, someday, whatever you do will pay off.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560533https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560533Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:59:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:49:59 GMT]]>welcome! Interesting πŸ˜„


Nuh, I don't think Parenting is \"Marketing\" at all :rotflmao: , if it is then Parenting would be a much easier \"job\" πŸ˜„

sometimes I do wonder if they are some form of Karma πŸ¦† or trying to break me into someone I can't be. :siam:

Being a parent requires discipline, patience, you can't be tardy or messy , priorities are shifted towards them. You can't help but try to fulfill :faint: , I do know my life turned upside down for sure :rotflmao:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560527https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560527Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:49:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:49:20 GMT]]>

notakidnoraparent:
smartmummy:

:welcome: notakidnoraparent!

Nice nick! People can identify you from ur nick.

Thanks a lot. Perhaps with a teenager/young adult, you mummies are able to get a more diverse opinion on how things are.

agree.look forward ur contributions!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560526https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560526Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:49:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:44:58 GMT]]>

smartmummy:
:welcome: notakidnoraparent!

Nice nick! People can identify you from ur nick.
Thanks a lot. Perhaps with a teenager/young adult, you mummies are able to get a more diverse opinion on how things are.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560525https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560525Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:44:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to This is a first! on Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:40:49 GMT]]>:welcome: notakidnoraparent!

Nice nick! People can identify you from ur nick.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560522https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/560522Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:40:49 GMT