Durianrama Meng\" post_id=\"2046409\" time=\"1636956743\" user_id=\"155827:[quote=\"Durianrama Meng\" post_id=2046409 time=1636956743 user_id=155827]
Hi Parents,
exams had just been over and kids including my son is waiting for school holidays to start. Since next year is his PLSE exam, I would like to do some P6 assessments (Maths) with him. I had tried encouraging him, telling him that I will guide hime through the assessment and we can do the assessment together. However he seemed not motivated. Although he managed to get a 85 for his maths, 84 for his science, I wish to get his momentum continued.

Also what broke my heart is that he said that he mentioned that he had no motivation in studies. When I asked him what will motivate him to study, he said his Roblox and money. He also mentioned that having his own PC in his room will be also another source of motivation since he can play games any time he loved. I explained to him that having his own PC will be a disaster more than a motivation.

Everyday after school, he will just sit infront of the PC, either watching Youtube (about games) or wait for his 1hr and 20 mins gameplay. He still do his school work but he is not paying much attention on them.

I am out of wits to get him motivated, and I dare not imagine what will happen in the following year.

Any advice?

Thanks![/quote]

beanbear\" post_id=\"586211\" time=\"1316082718\" user_id=\"39831:

I can feel your frustration and anxiety. You can see the long-term consequences of your child's actions but your child seems to live for each day, each moment and does not fully appreciate why you focus your attention on the need for study and the importance of PSLE.

I'd like to offer a few observations and questions:

1. What daily structure/timetable have you established with your child? Is there a clear agreement between you and your child about how much is spent on each activity eg TV, computer, homework, revision, mealtimes, personal free-and easy time, etc?

My 3 children are not academically strong (2 older ones in P4 & P5 and youngest in K2) but one of the foundations I've instilled in my children is \"Self-Control\" & \"Discipline\" and I achieve these 2 behaviours through Clear Structure for all activities. For eg, my children are only allowed to have 30 mins of TV per child per day. They can choose their own programme on the channels I've approved. How do I know if my children watch only for 30 mins of TV? Each of them MUST use the timer clock (which I've purchased and used since they were in pre-schoolhttps://www.rachat-de-credit-simulation.com/regroupement-de-pret) when they start and when the timer goes off, the TV must be switched off. The timer is a Structure. The Time given of 30mins is also a Structure. What if they do not follow through? I've a clear Structure of Consequences for Non-Compliance or disobedience. They are banned from TV for the next day. Disobey for 2nd time, the ban on TV will be for one week. But I also balance with Rewards. If my child demonstrates he has done his homework properly and show good behaviour or it's the school holiday, they get to watch 1 hour of TV or watch a DVD which is 1.5 hours. This is just one example of TV. I use similar approaches for other activities too.

2. Motivation & Attention. Most children have short attention span and our school system promotes a very dry and unmotivating way of learning. Our children may not see the Relevance of the subjects they learn. They feel demoralized by memorising of facts and feeling underachievement.

For topics that my children are under-achieving and find them dry and boring, I find that as a parent I need to make the revision time in BITE SIZE. I organize the topics and use only 30mins for each topic and try to create some fun into them. For eg, we sometimes we role-play. My children become the Teacher and I become the student. Another time, we may do a quiz game and we form teams and win points. I keep these revision time-slots SHORT. 30 mins and if needed come back for another 30mins after the kids have some playtime.

Other times, I share with my kids which Mathematical operation or Scientific Principle is being used in daily life eg in cooking, in business, in shopping, etc. When children see the connection and relevance, they begin to appreciate. If I make them feel guilty, they will avoid learning and they feel demoralized. My questions for you to consider is: What Learning Approaches will be motivating for your child?

3. Study Environment. Is there a dedicated space for study? How organized and free from distractions is the study space? What environment would help your child to focus his attention? My children are given specific spaces to do their work and I train them to sit only in that space for studying. No studying on beds. I ensure their chairs structured properly for good posture and there's good lighting.

I hope these ideas may help you.

cheerygirl:

my girl has no interest in her studies too. she prefer to watch tv, play with her nieces in the house or sleep, draw, pc games but holding a textbook is the last thing she'll do. she has show symtoms recently in wanting to go out with her frds for movies etc. i rejected her as i think she is not mature enuf to wonder independently outside. she got poor results for this yr P5 exams. very worrying if she continue till PSLE.

we have taken out her fav hobbies to spurn her studies. but she's like nochalent abt it. if she cannot hv this thing, she will live with other alternatives. she always can find something to entertain herself. basically there's nothing we can do to control her, make her come back to her books.
Even the strict tutor almost gave up. she either scribbles on the homework or simple says she dunno how to do.

we are at a loss. dunno how to teach anymore..

shd we bring her to a psychologist? OR some motivation class like mindchamp or Adam Khoo similar enrichment sch??

desperate mom :((

cheerygirl:

my girl has no interest in her studies too. she prefer to watch tv, play with her nieces in the house or sleep, draw, pc games but holding a textbook is the last thing she'll do. she has show symtoms recently in wanting to go out with her frds for movies etc. i rejected her as i think she is not mature enuf to wonder independently outside. she got poor results for this yr P5 exams. very worrying if she continue till PSLE.

we have taken out her fav hobbies to spurn her studies. but she's like nochalent abt it. if she cannot hv this thing, she will live with other alternatives. she always can find something to entertain herself. basically there's nothing we can do to control her, make her come back to her books.
Even the strict tutor almost gave up. she either scribbles on the homework or simple says she dunno how to do.

we are at a loss. dunno how to teach anymore..

shd we bring her to a psychologist? OR some motivation class like mindchamp or Adam Khoo similar enrichment sch??

desperate mom :((

GG mum:

Maybe try reward system?

starrysky321:

Like the minority, we don't have the TV in the living room, only in a specific room for special occasion.


I saw a parent who commented that getting away with TV/PC is not a solution as they need to learn how to be self-disciplined. I disagree with this idea though, just imagine a person who is a drug addict and wanting to quit drug, how on earth can you expect him to achieve it if the supply of drug is not ceased?

i guess it is about stick, carrot, habit and appropriate environment; stick is the punishment, carrot is the reward, habit is the daily routine to do his work from young, environment is rid of distraction like tv/pc/game consoles, so apparently for the sake of the children i am afraid the parents must sacrifice the privilege of watching tv after a long hours day at work.

mrswongtuition:

1. Set common goals. Sit down and have a proper talk (not nagging session, but give your child a chance to air his/her views). If your child has reached the stage where anything you say is 'utter rubbish', then probably rope in a respected adult to be the mediator. I've done this many times for my students. Sit down with the parents and go through expectations, future plans, immediate actions, etc.


2. Give your child some 'breathing space'. Easier said than done?
The main point is to let your child know that if he/she can prove that he/she can be trusted to manage his/her own time, then you will gladly step back and not nag.
Give them opportunities to prove themselves while you observe. You will still step in if they did not keep their end of the deal. And they can't argue anymore because the chance has been given to them.

3. \"Interest\" is very subjective and to some parents, 'ability' will cloud the child's interest. The child's past experiences will also affect his/her 'interest' in studying.
(a) Be upfront. Studying may not be the most interesting thing to do, but they have to do it.
(b) Giving up a little 'freedom' now to study hard and reaping the benefits in future is something some children can never understand. Rephrase this by adding in something they like. Example: If you study hard now, you can do well enough to get into a school with fantastic soccer group and you will have the chance to join the school team and play for the school!
(c) Praise and reward goes a long way. Celebrate small baby steps. If you child managed to stick to the agreed timetable for the day, he/she deserves some praise, even if it was just for that day. Praising your child will encourage him/her to continue with the good behaviour.

Parents, if you are really having difficulty communicating with your child or getting the message across, please consider getting 3rd party help. Get an adult your child respects and will listen to to help you start the topic and be the mediator.

Many parents have told me that they told their kids the exact same thing I told them, but the kids do not want to listen to their parents, they only want to listen to the tutor/teacher.

And don't keep repeating what you want to convey. Honestly, they may seem distracted, but they ARE listening. They may seem indifferent, but they DO know.
Say it once, remind them a second time. And stop. Don't go on like a broken record. Simple actions like a sigh from you and they will know what they've done wrong. Children are sensitive and they know, even if they choose to act like they don't.

mrswongtuition:

1. Set common goals. Sit down and have a proper talk (not nagging session, but give your child a chance to air his/her views). If your child has reached the stage where anything you say is 'utter rubbish', then probably rope in a respected adult to be the mediator. I've done this many times for my students. Sit down with the parents and go through expectations, future plans, immediate actions, etc.


2. Give your child some 'breathing space'. Easier said than done?
The main point is to let your child know that if he/she can prove that he/she can be trusted to manage his/her own time, then you will gladly step back and not nag.
Give them opportunities to prove themselves while you observe. You will still step in if they did not keep their end of the deal. And they can't argue anymore because the chance has been given to them.

3. \"Interest\" is very subjective and to some parents, 'ability' will cloud the child's interest. The child's past experiences will also affect his/her 'interest' in studying.
(a) Be upfront. Studying may not be the most interesting thing to do, but they have to do it.
(b) Giving up a little 'freedom' now to study hard and reaping the benefits in future is something some children can never understand. Rephrase this by adding in something they like. Example: If you study hard now, you can do well enough to get into a school with fantastic soccer group and you will have the chance to join the school team and play for the school!
(c) Praise and reward goes a long way. Celebrate small baby steps. If you child managed to stick to the agreed timetable for the day, he/she deserves some praise, even if it was just for that day. Praising your child will encourage him/her to continue with the good behaviour.

Parents, if you are really having difficulty communicating with your child or getting the message across, please consider getting 3rd party help. Get an adult your child respects and will listen to to help you start the topic and be the mediator.

Many parents have told me that they told their kids the exact same thing I told them, but the kids do not want to listen to their parents, they only want to listen to the tutor/teacher.

And don't keep repeating what you want to convey. Honestly, they may seem distracted, but they ARE listening. They may seem indifferent, but they DO know.
Say it once, remind them a second time. And stop. Don't go on like a broken record. Simple actions like a sigh from you and they will know what they've done wrong. Children are sensitive and they know, even if they choose to act like they don't.

jessielu:

My son also driving me crazy! He didn't complete his tution homework & tutor was very fed up, he simply ignore me when scolding him.


I will try another approach, not to harp & nag on homework that he need to finish, if he not able to \"wake\" up now, then i really raise my white flag, its really tiring.