<![CDATA[Cold Wars (with your spouse)]]>Anyone had cold war/s (not on talking terms & ignore each other) with your spouse? How long did it last? What was the trigger?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/26426/cold-wars-with-your-spouseRSS for NodeFri, 24 Apr 2026 05:42:21 GMTFri, 30 Sep 2011 09:18:34 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Fri, 13 Apr 2018 02:45:11 GMT]]>We never have cold wars with my husband. When we have problems or issues we communicate. We talk. Communication is the key. We won’t finish our day without solving the problem. In the end, both of you will benefit and would be able to resolve whatever issue you have.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1842745https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1842745Fri, 13 Apr 2018 02:45:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Fri, 09 Feb 2018 05:33:34 GMT]]>3 weeks! Just because me and child want to keep a cat … he exploded and got mad… after that not coming home for dinner for 3 weeks, not talking with me for 3 weeks! What’s wrong? We just voice out what we wanted!

At the end, I made peace with him and invited him back for dinner, just for the sake of kid, kid was also suffering during that time!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1833028https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1833028Fri, 09 Feb 2018 05:33:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Thu, 15 Jun 2017 16:28:55 GMT]]>I used to have a bad temper and will not talk to my spouse for at least 1 night.


But I make sure I reconcile with her before I sleep nowadays.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779092https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1779092Thu, 15 Jun 2017 16:28:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 13:31:36 GMT]]>

starlight1968sg:
Janet

Congrats and settled
thanks....yes, problem settled.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776948https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776948Tue, 30 May 2017 13:31:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 12:27:05 GMT]]>Janet

Congrats and settled

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776927https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776927Tue, 30 May 2017 12:27:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 12:06:04 GMT]]>Hi ladies,

Thanks for your understanding.

Hubby has blocked out 9-11am for daughter on Saturdays as his students can’t wake up early. They prefer afternoons to evenings. A job is very important to a man’s ego. We women place priorities on the family. Needless to say, there may be some conflicts. But communication is important and as long as the couple understands each other’s position, things can be worked out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776922https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776922Tue, 30 May 2017 12:06:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 08:58:18 GMT]]>Actually, I am also like that. I will get stress/mad if DH comes home late every night or needs to go overseas for a long period because I need him to assist the children with their school work. So we come to a compromise, he must rush home before 10pm and clear the kids’ doubts in their school work, then I am ok if he comes home late that night.


Janet, check with your DH, does he have a free slot when your daughter is around? Ask him to block that 2 hours (once a week) for your girl and get your girl to list down all the questions she has beforehand.

I think once this is resolved, you will feel better. Else we keep asking, why so busy? Why so late? The men also stress.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776874https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776874Tue, 30 May 2017 08:58:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 06:23:21 GMT]]>Hi Janet, you stress on the importance of your kids studies but your Husband places more importance in his career. No one is in the wrong so some compromise must be done or one party to give in. Please do not blame or get angry at your Husband as we ladies, outsiders though, think he has done much for the family, and do note that for most men, career is very important to them as a sign of their success, so probably after retrenchment his esteem has been affected and he hopes to ‘pia’ in the new field

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776844https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776844Tue, 30 May 2017 06:23:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 06:17:19 GMT]]>I know of a few cases where the Hubby does not help with housework or kids studies. The Wife is also working.,

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776842https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776842Tue, 30 May 2017 06:17:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 06:05:12 GMT]]>Work it out with your hubby. Pin down the day, time and duration that he has to set aside for your DD. Don't leave it open ended.


I think your DH is under a lot of stress and since he was retrenched there is definitely the worry that he may be out of a job again so better to have some backup. I am not sure who handles the finances in our family. If it is you, he may not realise that things are not that dire and you guys have enough reserves. If it is him, maybe he has a clearer picture of the financial commitments and he has his worries?

Janet, honestly, I think your DH is doing a lot for the family already, compared to my DH anyways :razz: . He is the sole breadwinner yet he does make the time to coach your DS last time and now your DD. In this instance, must it be Saturday morning for your DD? Can it not be afternoon or evening? Saturday mornings are popular slots for tuition.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776835https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776835Tue, 30 May 2017 06:05:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 01:36:31 GMT]]>

starlight1968sg:
Janet

I understand
Asked dh to coach dd physics, they ended up chatting about football
Told dd to ask her teachers and not rely on parents because we don't know anything about her subjects
hubby isn't comfortable to continue giving science tuition to the boy with special needs...so i asked him to give up in order to be fair to the boy. that morning slot can then be given to daughter. so far, she has been asking her teachers when in doubt...but revision at home is still required.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776794https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776794Tue, 30 May 2017 01:36:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Tue, 30 May 2017 00:48:54 GMT]]>

starlight1968sg:
Janet

I understand
Asked dh to coach dd physics, they ended up chatting about football
Told dd to ask her teachers and not rely on parents because we don't know anything about her subjects
My DD only has tuition for Maths and does her own revision and projects. For science queries, she will ask her teacher or look up the internet. For subjects like history and geography, she mentioned that making notes helped reinforce the memory part. I only hear about her school work when her projects or papers are returned and require my signature. I think she prefer not to bother me...scared I nag...

But, understand that every child is different....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776787https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776787Tue, 30 May 2017 00:48:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Mon, 29 May 2017 22:59:56 GMT]]>Janet

I understand
Asked dh to coach dd physics, they ended up chatting about football
Told dd to ask her teachers and not rely on parents because we don’t know anything about her subjects

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776778https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776778Mon, 29 May 2017 22:59:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Mon, 29 May 2017 18:25:29 GMT]]>Since you are not in my position nor know what exactly Is going on in my household, I feel there is no reason for such bluntness nor be told what to do. Even if there are plans to work, it’s between my husband and I.

The one who has gone for knee replacement surgery is my mum. So I know what her recovery is at the moment.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776776https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776776Mon, 29 May 2017 18:25:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Mon, 29 May 2017 16:45:45 GMT]]>

janet88:
i am out of touch where sec 1 work is concerned. i asked hubby to coach daughter for science on sat mornings...he rather give tuition to a student :mad:

Sorry to be direct. Can't blame him. He is the sole breadwinner. One person working to feed 4 mouths. On Sat mornings he is earning money, not playing golf or meeting his buddies. I think you must be more understanding. Have you tried sitting down with your girl and go through the notes and textbook with her? Act as if you are her Sec 1 friend studying together with her. I am sure with some patience and resilience you can help your girl. If you don't want, then you can go out to work on Saturday mornings and earn back the money your hubby will lose from not giving tuition.

I really think you should work on weekdays morning. Otherwise, the long hours that your hubby put in on workings and given tuition will take a toll on his health. If anything happen to him, what will you do? I honestly think it is unfair for you to be angry with him while he is working 2 jobs and you are not working at all. I believe your mom is recovering now. My mil had also undergone knee replacement before so I know the recovery speed. No need to see doctor often too.

We have to be realistic with our salary expectations. If some of fresh uni graduates earns below $2k for full time job, then we have to adjust our expectations as we have not been working for more than a decade. A few hundreds dollars that you earn can give your husband time to rest. If you love your husband, you won't mind getting tired for him to have rest time.

I apologise for being so direct.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776773https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776773Mon, 29 May 2017 16:45:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Mon, 29 May 2017 04:10:02 GMT]]>i am out of touch where sec 1 work is concerned. i asked hubby to coach daughter for science on sat mornings...he rather give tuition to a student :mad:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776675https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776675Mon, 29 May 2017 04:10:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Sat, 27 May 2017 17:21:57 GMT]]>It happens every day. :snooze:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776461https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1776461Sat, 27 May 2017 17:21:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Thu, 04 May 2017 01:49:15 GMT]]>

kids_r_innocent:
sleepy:

Already celebrated mother's day over the weekend. We had vegetarian food


I like vegetarian food.. Where did u go n have ur fix?

http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/pepper-jade-thai-vegetarian-cuisine-bugis/
Price is reasonable. My favourite dish is 苦瓜. Only my dad and I find tom yam too spicy, the rest of the family ok with its spiciness. Otah not fantastic though

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771669https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771669Thu, 04 May 2017 01:49:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Thu, 04 May 2017 01:39:44 GMT]]>Moderate working hours. Long working hours can cause health issues. Long run it isn’t worth it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771667https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771667Thu, 04 May 2017 01:39:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Thu, 04 May 2017 00:26:57 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu:

your time is more flexible..so just try slip into your dh's pockets of time whenever you can. like me slipping my baking sessions in between 😂 managed to get my buns and cup cakes done last evening from btw dinner prep time, fetching dd2, dinner time and done before their sleeping time..very satisfying but feel abit guilty tho end of it (little but then not I study, mah :razz: )
my hubby is in yishun until 430pm. then he goes for tuition right after that until 9pm. where got pockets of time? weekends back to back.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771642https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771642Thu, 04 May 2017 00:26:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Wed, 03 May 2017 18:35:05 GMT]]>

janet88:
MrsKiasu:

congrats to you Janet, your dh booked de full full le :rahrah:


you're right...fully booked. so booked until his wife can't even make any appointment with him for coffee.

your time is more flexible..so just try slip into your dh's pockets of time whenever you can. like me slipping my baking sessions in between 😂 managed to get my buns and cup cakes done last evening from btw dinner prep time, fetching dd2, dinner time and done before their sleeping time..very satisfying but feel abit guilty tho end of it (little but then not I study, mah :razz: )

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771607https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771607Wed, 03 May 2017 18:35:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Wed, 03 May 2017 14:04:38 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
Income should be pretty good. Then just take 1-2 days off. No need to stress out. Detrimental in the long run if too tired all the time. Money is not everything.

money is not everything...that's what i always advise him. being too tired is not healthy.
income ok lah...june holidays should be packed since he has 3 students taking PSLE...but come october, have to start looking for new students when the kids finish psle. since he is experienced in upper primary math, he should focus in that area.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771581https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771581Wed, 03 May 2017 14:04:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Wed, 03 May 2017 14:01:27 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu:
congrats to you Janet, your dh booked de full full le :rahrah:

you're right...fully booked. so booked until his wife can't even make any appointment with him for coffee.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771580https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771580Wed, 03 May 2017 14:01:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Cold Wars (with your spouse) on Wed, 03 May 2017 11:05:41 GMT]]>Income should be pretty good. Then just take 1-2 days off. No need to stress out. Detrimental in the long run if too tired all the time. Money is not everything.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771562https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1771562Wed, 03 May 2017 11:05:41 GMT