<![CDATA[Advice needed - maid refuses to go back]]>Hi all


Need some advice from all of you. My Philippino maid has been with us for coming to 4 years. Her contract is expiring early Jan next year. As I do not need her now, have told in July her that I will terminate her contract by Nov this year and send her back. However, she refused to go back and asked to look for another employer. So, she has started to look for an employer since July but still couldn’t find one cause she’s very picky. She only wants to work for expartriates and salary expectation is $500 with preferably all Sundays off. There were a Chinese employer and a Pakistani employer who wanted to confirm her, but she turned down the offers. Now, she is left with only one and a half months to find an employer and has becme panicky. Yesterday, she went for interview the whole day and did not even call to tell me her whereabouts. When I called her in the evening, she started crying like a small kid and said that she was afraid that I would send her back and was afraid that I would scold her for not coming back. Eventually, when she came back, we told her that we’ll help her further by allowing her to go for interview every Sun (wait at the agent’s place for employers) without deducting her pay. In fact, we’ve already facilitated her sourcing of employers by allowing her to go for interview every now and then, and also telling her that the potential employers can call me if they wish to.

Actually, we can just buy her an air-ticket and send her back. But since she’s so insistent on not going back, we can’t bear to do it (her work performance has so far been satisfactory).

Just want to seek your advice - what would you do if you’re in my situation? Are we being to lax with her? The most we can do is to let her work till the end of her contract, and if by then, she still could not find an employer, then she would really need to go back because the work permit would have expired by then.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/27045/advice-needed-maid-refuses-to-go-backRSS for NodeWed, 22 Apr 2026 08:46:43 GMTTue, 18 Oct 2011 06:26:36 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:44:34 GMT]]>

simplejan:
Hi all, I am having maid-blues now.


My current maid wants to return to indo suddenly (like she just told me on sunday!) and would not tell us why. she just came for like 3 weeks. i called the agency and the person in charge is not in sg till wed! OMG!

anyone got experience what to do in this case? also any more reliable maid agencies to recommend? very frustrating!!!
Hi simplejan,

I used to be in the same situation as you. On the first day when our previous maid step into our house she started to have homesick, she cried to us (including my daughter) everyday. Until the 3rd day, I'm damn flared up and sent her back to the agency. At that moment, the maid agency doesn't have any replacement maid and we were so lost. Both my husband and I are working, we need a maid to take care of our kids. We went around sourcing for a maid for almost a month and thank god we found our current maid (who was a transfer maid from another agency). That 1 month was like hell to us.

From my point of view, what you can do now is BUY TIME. Persuade her to stay with you for the time being until you found a new maid. Once the PIC from the agency is back, refer your situation to him/her. Demand for a replacement maid if you are entitled to. I believe the agency won't allow the maid to return home until she has settle her loan (do not reveal to the maid in case she create havoc at your place). Unless you don't mind to forgo your monies (eg. Agency Fee, Maid Loan.....etc.), you may wish to go around other agencies to source for other transfer maid in case your agency doesn't have any.

There are no so-called reliable maid agency in Singapore. It all depend on your luck. I personally prefer Transfer Maid due to I can interview her face to face and ensure she can fulfil all my requirements before I pick her.

Good Luck ~

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/656099https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/656099Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:44:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 13:51:08 GMT]]>Hi all, I am having maid-blues now.


My current maid wants to return to indo suddenly (like she just told me on sunday!) and would not tell us why. she just came for like 3 weeks. i called the agency and the person in charge is not in sg till wed! OMG!

anyone got experience what to do in this case? also any more reliable maid agencies to recommend? very frustrating!!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655691https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655691Mon, 05 Dec 2011 13:51:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:40:07 GMT]]>ah i see. Unfortunately not. I’m born and bred in Singapore. Not her target employer then 😛

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655376https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655376Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:40:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:37:30 GMT]]>She’s only willing to work for expatriate family - she turned down a few offers from Chinese/Muslim families. Just wondering - are you an expatriate?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655371https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655371Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:37:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:31:41 GMT]]>I mean if she’s experienced and helpful. The extra $50 is fine with me.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655358https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655358Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:31:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:03:34 GMT]]>Yeah, she found an expatriate family that meets all her requirements.


Actually, I’m ok with all Sundays off + handphone (she’s already enjoying all these benefits when she was with us). But for salary, max I’m willing to pay is $450.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655322https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655322Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:03:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 03:55:44 GMT]]>she managed to find someone willing to give all that requirements?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655172https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/655172Mon, 05 Dec 2011 03:55:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:02:58 GMT]]>But her expectations are quite high - $500 monthly salary + all Sundays off + use of handphone the whole day. Are you willing to meet these requirements?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/654973https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/654973Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:02:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Sat, 03 Dec 2011 13:17:15 GMT]]>Oh. heh… i happen to just need a maid after going maidless for a year. Too bad she found one, else I could have taken her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/654486https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/654486Sat, 03 Dec 2011 13:17:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 22 Nov 2011 05:00:27 GMT]]>Yeah, I also don’t know why she has to take so long to find. But luckily, finally, she found one. Otheerwise, can’t imagine what her reaction will be if I really send her home.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/641385https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/641385Tue, 22 Nov 2011 05:00:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:16:32 GMT]]>her requirement is it just salary 500, ev sunday off? why take so long to find? besides the fact that she cant cook or speak well?


i thot shd be quite easy to get if go for angmoh? lucky plaza or bt timah agts usu cater to angmoh clients.
mine is tough cos she doesnt want to pay agency fee, and she want to go home leave and dont want dogs.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/641180https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/641180Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:16:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 21 Nov 2011 02:14:15 GMT]]>Maid with attitute. Don’t hessitate, sent her back and don’t tell her till last 2 days. Minde came first 7 months with the right attitute, thereafter her instalment pay off. She started to have lots of nonsense, at first I also hesistated for a few months till i found my youngest whom is only 2+ got blueblack on her toe and thum. Not only that I check on my house phone, she chatted for more than half an hour. At times, i receive calls from her friends too. even after she flew home, i still get to get calls for her. Also, the block Blangedash cleaner first 2 to 3 weeks kept came right infront of my door step to sweep my door step. Initially, still quite upset to send her back, I started to do my own cleaning, then start to realise, only those area that can be seen are ok, the rest is like big mess. I spent about 2 weeks to clear up her mess.

Before you sent yours, do check around and get her clean up else, you will be the cleaning lady after you release her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/640582https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/640582Mon, 21 Nov 2011 02:14:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:12:14 GMT]]>My maid has finally found her expatriate employer - almost 5 months after I gave her notice. Hope everything goes well for her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/640530https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/640530Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:12:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Sat, 19 Nov 2011 16:27:29 GMT]]>

gerberadaisy:
I won't be surprised that she has a lover here because every time I brought up the matter of sending her back, she became so agitated and started to cry. She said that she feared going back and then could not return if no employer chooses her (she quoted the case of her 2 friends that have gone back for more than a year and still couldn't find any employer in Singapore). I find it hard to believe, unless the friends are asking rocket-high salary!

Another reason why she doesn't want to go back is because if she comes back, she needs to pay off the loan equivalent to a few months' salary. So she wants the best of both worlds - stay here and take her own sweet time to find her ideal expatriate employer. We have advised her to be realistic about her expectations. She has gone for interviews with a few expatriates but so far no one has confirmed her. I think she doesn't have the skills set that expatriates are looking for, such as ability to speak good English and cook. Actually, I'm just wondering, are expatriates employers really that good? Anyone has any comments?
ur maid is same as my ex maid. i bet she will refuse to go home if cant find employer but very lucky she found an angmoh herslf within 1.5mths of notice

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/639992https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/639992Sat, 19 Nov 2011 16:27:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 18 Oct 2011 08:14:03 GMT]]>I won’t be surprised that she has a lover here because every time I brought up the matter of sending her back, she became so agitated and started to cry. She said that she feared going back and then could not return if no employer chooses her (she quoted the case of her 2 friends that have gone back for more than a year and still couldn’t find any employer in Singapore). I find it hard to believe, unless the friends are asking rocket-high salary!

Another reason why she doesn’t want to go back is because if she comes back, she needs to pay off the loan equivalent to a few months’ salary. So she wants the best of both worlds - stay here and take her own sweet time to find her ideal expatriate employer. We have advised her to be realistic about her expectations. She has gone for interviews with a few expatriates but so far no one has confirmed her. I think she doesn’t have the skills set that expatriates are looking for, such as ability to speak good English and cook. Actually, I’m just wondering, are expatriates employers really that good? Anyone has any comments?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613378https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613378Tue, 18 Oct 2011 08:14:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 18 Oct 2011 07:58:14 GMT]]>Actually I thought now supply crunch? Should be easy to find employer. I thought most Philip maids like to go Norway, Sweden, Hongkong etc? Unless, unless she has a lover here!!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613359https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613359Tue, 18 Oct 2011 07:58:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 18 Oct 2011 07:07:32 GMT]]>Hi michyms


Thanks for your prompt reply. I hope my maid will not ask me to extend her work permit so that she can have more time to find an employer. I’ve given her notice since July, which means she has 5 to 6 months to look for an employer. Under normal circumstances, she should have found one easily since she has worked in Singapore for 4 years. If she is going to be so choosy, there’s no guarantee that even if I extend her work permit, she can find her ideal employer. How long do I need to give her? 2 months? 6 months or 1 year? I actually don’t need her service anymore as my children are all in Student Care and there’s no one at home during the day. If she continues to stay at my place, even though I don’t pay her salary, I still need to pay her levy, provide her with accommodation, food, utlities, etc. I think I’ve helped her enough, including all the advancements of salary every now and then, loans, going out occasionally (not her off day) to attend parties and church activities, etc. It’s so tiring having to deal with this type of maid problems!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613296https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613296Tue, 18 Oct 2011 07:07:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Advice needed - maid refuses to go back on Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:33:35 GMT]]>You shouldn’t feel bad, as you already let her look for a transfer. But since she is so picky, she should know that if she can’t find an employer in time, she will need to go home. I think I had a friend who extended the maid’s employment pass (expenses paid for by maid) so that the maid can have more time to look for another employer. But of course, you should not be paying her any salary during that time. That is between you and the maid.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613256https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/613256Tue, 18 Oct 2011 06:33:35 GMT