smartmummy:

Thanks a lot Vevey for ur kind post. :love:

smartmummy:

Vevey:

[quote=\"smartmummy\"]Most of my son's schoolmates has their own or use their parents. :faint:

my son use my FB account and play and added his friend.Today I asked him to stop playing in FB cos his friend always talking about that game whenever he came here.It make him more interest in playing games.I prefer discuss about their story books and exchange story books. :love:

Let them do some outdoor sports instead? So that they will b too engrossed & out-of-breath to talk? :evil: Or invite other friends to play sports if his friend is really such an FB addict?

Vevey:

smartmummy:

Most of my son's schoolmates has their own or use their parents. :faint:

my son use my FB account and play and added his friend.Today I asked him to stop playing in FB cos his friend always talking about that game whenever he came here.It make him more interest in playing games.I prefer discuss about their story books and exchange story books. :love:

Let them do some outdoor sports instead? So that they will b too engrossed & out-of-breath to talk? :evil: Or invite other friends to play sports if his friend is really such an FB addict?

smartmummy:

Most of my son's schoolmates has their own or use their parents. :faint:

my son use my FB account and play and added his friend.Today I asked him to stop playing in FB cos his friend always talking about that game whenever he came here.It make him more interest in playing games.I prefer discuss about their story books and exchange story books. :love:

Vevey:

No matter how P2 DS whined, I told him the regulation of FB is above 13yo & we r NOT going to break the rule.

He will b allowed 1hr of daily computer time this hol but will b forfeited if he were to break the trust. As I'm a SAHM, guess I can pop by to surf w him on & off.

smartmummy:

Well said SBKS!

cherrygal:

DH and I don't play games at all so we also lead by example. I tell him games spoil the eyes and brain cells. They make us stupid.
.

wonderm:

cherrygal:

Thanks. Yes, I also don't allow DS to have a Wii, PSP, Xbox, iPhone, iPad etc. He does word search puzzles instead. I also sign him up for programmes like Chinese enrichment camps to take up his time. The one thing I allow is the TV but he doesn't get much of that either since he needs to sleep at 8.30pm on weekdays. I think the TV is the lesser of two evils. TV can be educational at least.


More importantly, DH and I will never get those gadgets for ourselves. We still use Samsung phones that have limited applications. Our mobile broadband is the slowest package so he can't enjoy the game that well and he gets tired from waiting for the game to load. Moral is, he can't use something that we don't have. Remove the distraction rather than fight him for using it.

You are really impressive! May I know how old are your children?

cherrygal:

Thanks. Yes, I also don't allow DS to have a Wii, PSP, Xbox, iPhone, iPad etc. He does word search puzzles instead. I also sign him up for programmes like Chinese enrichment camps to take up his time. The one thing I allow is the TV but he doesn't get much of that either since he needs to sleep at 8.30pm on weekdays. I think the TV is the lesser of two evils. TV can be educational at least.


More importantly, DH and I will never get those gadgets for ourselves. We still use Samsung phones that have limited applications. Our mobile broadband is the slowest package so he can't enjoy the game that well and he gets tired from waiting for the game to load. Moral is, he can't use something that we don't have. Remove the distraction rather than fight him for using it.

cherrygal:

smartmummy:

I scared if we control more then they will do bad more (unknowingly) in later.

He need to play everyday for one hr.Otherwise he just frustrated and throw his angry.Previously I didn't allow him to play on weekdays.Then he can't study without computer time.Then I just allow for 15 mins then it increased to 1 hr and more.Now I can't stop him now.One of his friends come to our house,they play together in computer.Now he only wanted to add my son in his game.He had many friends (schoolmates) in his FB.Sometimes I gave them to play Board games.

With what you have just said, it seems all these happened because of a lack of control. So your first sentence about fear of over-control is an irony coz you can't stop him now even if he does bad things. Controlling more when they are young helps them to develop self-restraint. You can let go when they are matured enough to manage their time. You must always create boundaries and maintain them. If it's 15mins, then put a timer next to him and don't tolerate begging for extensions. Once he knows you mean business, he will stop his nonsense.

I experienced all this first hand coz I made the mistake of letting my boy play on the computer and it got worse from there. I finally put my foot down and told him to play only on weekends, but that also wasn't the solution coz his brains would be thinking of games all week and affect his work. Finally, I insisted that games can only be played on the Saturdays of school holidays and only for 1 - 2 hours at most. He agreed after I told him how some boys spent so much time playing that they failed their exams and now have to wipe tables... I also used articles in the newspapers about people who die playing games for 3 days without stopping.

DH and I don't play games at all so we also lead by example. I tell him games spoil the eyes and brain cells. They make us stupid.

There was a parent who had the same issue as you and her kid is just P1. The counsellor (we were at a parenting talk) said parental control is very important. You must show who is the authoritative figure. Don't let your kid walk all over you.

Control now before it's really too late.