Gems:

Chenonceau:

I think that as long as rules are clear, and have been communicated several times, the school has a duty towards OTHER parents and OTHER children to apply the rule.

I fully agree. The boy must have been warned several times and he is aware of the consequences. He is just challenging the authority, not showing any respect.

On the other hand, I also feel that since the boy may be struggling during the haircut, the haircut should be stopped for safety reason and the parents call in. Need be, the boy should be suspended from school till he gets his haircut.

Chenonceau:

I think that as long as rules are clear, and have been communicated several times, the school has a duty towards OTHER parents and OTHER children to apply the rule.

deminc:

I think part of the divide is the nature-nurture debate. Some parents think we can make our children to be what we want them to be if only we do this or that. Others think the children have their innate personalities that you have to work with.


I belong to the latter school. It doesn't mean I don't have to teach my children social skills or social rules. But for me, it's acknowledging that the child is a certain \"type\". He's NOT a blank slate at birth. He has a basic temperament, he has a basic personality, and he has his inborn calling to discover.

There are different schools with different levels of acceptance set by the principals' styles. I feel school-fit is important. You cannot force a child to be happy in the wrong fit, it doesn't work that way. There are parents who say the kids MUST learn to go to school, they MUST learn to knuckle down and obey, they MUST learn to do what they don't like. And the reason is because they need to go to work next time.

I can NEVER understand this rationale. Are you not then conditioning your child for a dreary life? And look at the number of people who say they hate their jobs, they can't wait to change their jobs, they are working just for the money etc etc. How awful! And they seem to think it's normal. Perhaps it's common, but it's certainly not right.

I'm a SAHM now, but I enjoyed working. So does my husband. Because our work is our passion. When you know yourself, you will gravitate towards jobs that are the right fit for you. There you will find yourself surrounded by people who are more or less your type. When I took my first full-time job, I was amazed. I felt so at home. Because I enjoyed it, I didn't mind putting in the long hours. Instead I thrived on it.

I never tell my children - you must go to school! Instead I tell them - you must learn, you must be educated and there are many routes to education and knowledge. Unlike in the third world where children worry about basic necessities, our children have the luxury of fulfilling their dreams and aspirations. To do so, we must allow our children to be true to themselves. (and please don't tell me about drug-taking, getting drunk, tattoos, f-words etc. I am talking about the basic personalities - musical, creative, scientific, logic, atheletic etc) If they lose themselves they will lose their way. If they find themselves, they will know where they want to go and they themselves will be motivated to do anything necessary to get there.

In the film Le Choriste, the choirmaster advised the mother of the trouble-maker that the boy is very talented in music and should be sent to a music school. When the mother asked,\"Then what? What will become of him?\" His answer was simply,\"He will become what he should be.\"

deminc:

I think part of the divide is the nature-nurture debate. Some parents think we can make our children to be what we want them to be if only we do this or that. Others think the children have their innate personalities that you have to work with.


I belong to the latter school. It doesn't mean I don't have to teach my children social skills or social rules. But for me, it's acknowledging that the child is a certain \"type\". He's NOT a blank slate at birth. He has a basic temperament, he has a basic personality, and he has his inborn calling to discover.

There are different schools with different levels of acceptance set by the principals' styles. I feel school-fit is important. You cannot force a child to be happy in the wrong fit, it doesn't work that way. There are parents who say the kids MUST learn to go to school, they MUST learn to knuckle down and obey, they MUST learn to do what they don't like. And the reason is because they need to go to work next time.

I can NEVER understand this rationale. Are you not then conditioning your child for a dreary life? And look at the number of people who say they hate their jobs, they can't wait to change their jobs, they are working just for the money etc etc. How awful! And they seem to think it's normal. Perhaps it's common, but it's certainly not right.

I'm a SAHM now, but I enjoyed working. So does my husband. Because our work is our passion. When you know yourself, you will gravitate towards jobs that are the right fit for you. There you will find yourself surrounded by people who are more or less your type. When I took my first full-time job, I was amazed. I felt so at home. Because I enjoyed it, I didn't mind putting in the long hours. Instead I thrived on it.

I never tell my children - you must go to school! Instead I tell them - you must learn, you must be educated and there are many routes to education and knowledge. Unlike in the third world where children worry about basic necessities, our children have the luxury of fulfilling their dreams and aspirations. To do so, we must allow our children to be true to themselves. (and please don't tell me about drug-taking, getting drunk, tattoos, f-words etc. I am talking about the basic personalities - musical, creative, scientific, logic, atheletic etc) If they lose themselves they will lose their way. If they find themselves, they will know where they want to go and they themselves will be motivated to do anything necessary to get there.

In the film Le Choriste, the choirmaster advised the mother of the trouble-maker that the boy is very talented in music and should be sent to a music school. When the mother asked,\"Then what? What will become of him?\" His answer was simply,\"He will become what he should be.\"

Zermatt:

I think clothes and hair are very different things. While we must strictly follow dress code, hair is sometimes hard to define what is meant by long and they sure grow fast. In my boys' school, strictly 4x2, nothing must touch the ears nor collar.

After my elder boy left the school and studied abroad, he said having that 4x2 hair style would surely give the impression of a nerd and all other foreign friends may distance away. It is too square and uncreative.

MrsSeah:

I also don't know why they hated school so much. Lazy? Teacher? School? Parent? Friend? I really don't know know the reason.

MrsSeah:

verykiasu2010:

[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]

And he is beyond redemption because this is a repeat. So is this teacher. The superintendent of that cluster said that this will not be done again (admitting this is wrong?). The teacher and principal should therefore also be condemned? Same rule/system for all. First world country?

customer is king. mdm yeo and her son win.

this is the kind of system that makes the teachers quit teaching

principal and teachers have to play the system right, else no promotion and career in ruin with police case and the many madam yeos calling moe now and then.

rightfully wrong and wrongfully right

MrsSeah:

2ppaamm:

I once turned up for work in the wrong attire and totally unintentional. It was a dress-down Friday and I went in shorts. I was told that even in a dress down day, we are expected to be in at least pants. My manager just ask me to quickly go home and change. There was no ill feelings, and he gave me total benefit of the doubt. At the end of that same year, this same manager gave me two awards for my job well-done. No judgmental remark on my one-off inappropriate dressing, and I have never gone to work in shorts again - ever.

That was because you only did it once.

If you did it everytime, you think your manager will be so patient and give you the benefit of doubt?

verykiasu2010:

2ppaamm:

And he is beyond redemption because this is a repeat. So is this teacher. The superintendent of that cluster said that this will not be done again (admitting this is wrong?). The teacher and principal should therefore also be condemned? Same rule/system for all. First world country?

customer is king. mdm yeo and her son win.

this is the kind of system that makes the teachers quit teaching

principal and teachers have to play the system right, else no promotion and career in ruin with police case and the many madam yeos calling moe now and then.

rightfully wrong and wrongfully right

2ppaamm:

I once turned up for work in the wrong attire and totally unintentional. It was a dress-down Friday and I went in shorts. I was told that even in a dress down day, we are expected to be in at least pants. My manager just ask me to quickly go home and change. There was no ill feelings, and he gave me total benefit of the doubt. At the end of that same year, this same manager gave me two awards for my job well-done. No judgmental remark on my one-off inappropriate dressing, and I have never gone to work in shorts again - ever.

2ppaamm:

MrsSeah:

Send them back. Hahahaha... The student are MORE happy with that. They can dilly dally at the shopping centre to get their hair cut.

Suspension? Wow they like it MORE. It's like extra holiday to them.

My question would be, \"Why does the kid hate school so much to want to dilly dally at the shopping centre, and treat suspension as a holiday?!\" It is so sad, isn't it? How did he/she come to this stage? Where is the motivation to study for his future, where is his own urgency to want to do well?

2ppaamm:

And he is beyond redemption because this is a repeat. So is this teacher. The superintendent of that cluster said that this will not be done again (admitting this is wrong?). The teacher and principal should therefore also be condemned? Same rule/system for all. First world country?

Daddy

2ppaamm:

[quote=\"Daddy D\"]Saw today's report on some \"problem\" students who made good for O levels... They changed for the better with the help from teachers and parents.

Not worth the while trying to change the system, if there is no self-reflection.

:celebrate:

I am a bit confused and blur here. Whose self-reflection?

2ppaamm:

Daddy

Saw today's report on some \"problem\" students who made good for O levels... They changed for the better with the help from teachers and parents.

Not worth the while trying to change the system, if there is no self-reflection.

:celebrate:

I am a bit confused and blur here. Whose self-reflection?

verykiasu2010:

2ppaamm:

[quote=\"verykiasu2010\"]
how do you know it is just one mistake ?

It was the first day of school when his hair was cut. I don't think people go back to school during school hols to get their hair checked? Every case should be handled like it is a fresh case. Educators should not bear grudges. If we keep accumulating their errors, there's no chance for a student to 'renew' himself.

2ppaamm:

looking4Tutor:

[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
Also to note that not every kid learn at the same pace. Some kids 'get it' (obey = less consequence) faster and some slower. Just like in academics. Some students needs to be told off and make more mistakes before they understand certain stuff, some kids are more street smart. What I also don't understand is why we are willing to help the academically weak, but label a kid that takes longer to learn social norms defiant with just one mistake.

Singapore goverment schools need educator like you. :udawoman:

Daddy

Saw today's report on some \"problem\" students who made good for O levels... They changed for the better with the help from teachers and parents.

Not worth the while trying to change the system, if there is no self-reflection.

:celebrate:

2ppaamm:

verykiasu2010:

how do you know it is just one mistake ?

It was the first day of school when his hair was cut. I don't think people go back to school during school hols to get their hair checked? Every case should be handled like it is a fresh case. Educators should not bear grudges. If we keep accumulating their errors, there's no chance for a student to 'renew' himself.

verykiasu2010:

how do you know it is just one mistake ?

looking4Tutor:

2ppaamm:

Also to note that not every kid learn at the same pace. Some kids 'get it' (obey = less consequence) faster and some slower. Just like in academics. Some students needs to be told off and make more mistakes before they understand certain stuff, some kids are more street smart. What I also don't understand is why we are willing to help the academically weak, but label a kid that takes longer to learn social norms defiant with just one mistake.

Singapore goverment schools need educator like you. :udawoman:

Chenonceau:

Daddy

Saw today's report on some \"problem\" students who made good for O levels... They changed for the better with the help from teachers and parents.

Not worth the while trying to change the system, if there is no self-reflection.

:celebrate:

Yes... big and disgusting wayang. MOE thinks it is perfect.