<![CDATA[help....wife is earning much more than me]]>hello all;


I got a problem that I am struggling with

my wife is a very thrifty woman and is in a good civil service job with decent pay…

we have own personal bank accts and a joint account. we contribute a fixed $$ to the joint acct every month and we have own personal bank $$. It’s how it has always been.

for me, my career has been struggling along… I am in my 30s and still drawing lower pay (<3k) … I dont even have much savings compared to her.

it is not a point of contention between us yet, but when my wife talks excitedly about getting 3-4 months bonus in the 10s of thousands and I only scrape by with 1 month bonus, I smile and keep quiet. But later on in the middle of the night I really am very upset. not because she is good but I feel damn lousy about myself

sometimes I really feel very upset about this… but I don’t really tell her about these things. She will feel upset about it…its no point having 2 people be upset about something they can’t help, might as well have only 1 person be upset about this, and that is me…

She talks about moving into condo, etc and going faraway places for holiday…how to move into condo??? I don’t even have money to pay~!

I do my part for the family and pay for the utility bills and car maintenance and any other things. I give her a set amount for household stuff

but I don’t know…one fine day when we quarrel, she might say something really hurtful…

I know its the 21st century already but still part of my dreams when I was young was to take care of my woman and that involves earning money

when I am in my 30s it seems like most of my dreams are crushed

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/31229/help-wife-is-earning-much-more-than-meRSS for NodeWed, 22 Apr 2026 23:47:04 GMTWed, 25 Jan 2012 03:53:52 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Wed, 15 Apr 2020 16:36:16 GMT]]>I understand your pain and frustration. believe me, I know how it feels when you were initially ambitious at the peak of your weakness, and then everything gradually begins to crumble. not only financially but also with all this your moral state. but instead, believe me, I know what I’m saying now, instead of sitting on this caste. start looking for work online. and I give a guarantee you find it without leaving home. or better yet! borrow from your wife for business. and then give and earn more

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1971338https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1971338Wed, 15 Apr 2020 16:36:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Sun, 19 Jan 2020 09:27:01 GMT]]>that’s good news. you are a fortunate husband.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1959837https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1959837Sun, 19 Jan 2020 09:27:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Sat, 30 Nov 2019 13:37:50 GMT]]>its ok… as long as u contribute to the family… its fine

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1950816https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1950816Sat, 30 Nov 2019 13:37:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:26:48 GMT]]>It does not matter at all whether who earns better in the family. As long as you can give the need of your family, you are loyal with your partner, and you are true to the vow you promised on your wedding day, everything will be fine.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1950018https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1950018Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:26:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Sun, 20 Oct 2019 07:37:17 GMT]]>Men are always on the way to money and success. And it's not typical woman doing more for family. Every respected man should make more money then his wife. When i met my bride at https://asian-mail-order-brides.net/turkish-brides/ i was earning very big money and that is one of the reasons she is with me now.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1942291https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1942291Sun, 20 Oct 2019 07:37:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:21:45 GMT]]>

peapot:
Joule, do you know there are woman out there that goes by the mindset \"my money is mine, husband's money is Ours!\" so you should be happy that yr wife do not think that way.

You mean some women think like that !!

For me I am clear, have explained to DH
\"Your money is mine and my money is mine\" 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702997https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702997Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:21:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:23:12 GMT]]>

peapot:
Joule, do you know there are woman out there that goes by the mindset \"my money is mine, husband's money is Ours!\" so you should be happy that yr wife do not think that way.

Oh......... that me. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rotflmao:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702947https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702947Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:23:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:26:18 GMT]]>Joule, do you know there are woman out there that goes by the mindset "my money is mine, husband’s money is Ours!" so you should be happy that yr wife do not think that way.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702830https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702830Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:26:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:47:47 GMT]]>

cherrygal:
carebear:

My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........

and I wouldn't mind too..........

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........

I think my MIL thinks like you... 🤷
She doesn't like me to be a SAHM and leech off her son...

I somehow get the same feeling with my MIL. Sometimes she calls home n find that I m at home, then she will ask: oh, how come today u r not working? ( I m doing freelance work).so at home n not working means no pay.
Whereas with my own mom, she will say: good you can relax today!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702635https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702635Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:47:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:33:35 GMT]]>

carebear:
My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........

and I wouldn't mind too..........

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........
I think my MIL thinks like you... 🤷
She doesn't like me to be a SAHM and leech off her son...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702585https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702585Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:33:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:03:33 GMT]]>Hey Joule,


I think you should step aside the whole ego thing cos it’s going to cause problems for you. Who earns more doesn’t matter as it all contributes to the whole household income. But agreed that it’s easier said than done. Hubby is in a same situation as you. I earn more than him and though he never said anything, I can feel his bruised ego from time to time. So I made it a point to talk to him and reassured him that I think no less of him in any way. I think your wife loves you very much if not she would have asked you to get a better paying job a long time ago. If I can speak for most of the women out there, we love a man who is caring and shows responsibility towards the family and I think you are cos you’re still doing your part taking care of your kid and contributing your share to your joint account. Money is not everything. I sure hate to have a hubby who earns millions but is hardly around at all!
See if you can talk to your wife about it and tell her how you truly feel. I think she’ll tell you she doesn’t mind at all! Good luck!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702397https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702397Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:03:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:35:43 GMT]]>

Joule:

Nevermind, just let me work hard at my contract job that pays 1 mth bonus and start studying for my degree....

Maybe I should become a plumber
Hi Joule. Don't fret. I know it is frustrating but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This situation actually opens up an opportunity for you to start a business in an area you are interested/capable in. Think about it. If you want to stay as an employee forever, it might be hard to catch up with your wife given that the gap is already significant and she is fast tracked as a scholar.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702373https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/702373Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:35:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:12:11 GMT]]>Joule,


Congrats bcos…
1. Ur wife loves u for who u r, ur charm, personality, looks, macho…
2. U can pursue ur dreams without worrying abt being the breadwinner, so go for further studies or start ur own biz…
3. U pay less income tax for same combined household income as working mum gets more tax relief

Mb there r more good things to celebrate. Have a great dragon year ahead!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700777https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700777Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:12:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:55:46 GMT]]>

Joule:


Huh sigh.

I don't want to be a LION or a MALE BEE (drone)

Male LIONS only eat and sleep and the lionesses do all the hunting. Ditto for the bees.

I'm fine. I guess the game is rigged this way, since A-scholars get on the fast track and get promoted to the heavens... I should be happy.

Nevermind, just let me work hard at my contract job that pays 1 mth bonus and start studying for my degree....

Maybe I should become a plumber
Dat's the spirit! I had held off from making the comment, but since the ladies here had already laid into you, I agree that mooching around feeling sorry for yourself is the quickest way to p... off your wife. If you go around with a spring in your step and purpose in life, I'm sure the missus would be appreciative.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700709https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700709Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:55:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:07:09 GMT]]>

Joule:
kiddo:

[quote=\"carebear\"]My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........

and I wouldn't mind too..........

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........

Nowadays a lot of the woman is like that mah ....so driven.,. :hi5:
WHAT a one Super Lucky Man...... :heresmyfish:

my male colleague and male friends wish they have a wife like that . 😉 :celebrate:

Huh sigh.

I don't want to be a LION or a MALE BEE (drone)

Male LIONS only eat and sleep and the lionesses do all the hunting. Ditto for the bees.

I'm fine. I guess the game is rigged this way, since A-scholars get on the fast track and get promoted to the heavens... I should be happy.

Nevermind, just let me work hard at my contract job that pays 1 mth bonus and start studying for my degree....

Maybe I should become a plumber[/quote]glad to know you start studying for your degree
that's was my purpose of reminding you about 'U dropout' that you posted
before

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700062https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/700062Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:07:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:49:04 GMT]]>

Joule:
I'm fine. I guess the game is rigged this way, since A-scholars get on the fast track and get promoted to the heavens... I should be happy.


Nevermind, just let me work hard at my contract job that pays 1 mth bonus and start studying for my degree....
It appears to me that your wife is a grad (scholar) while you have not embarked on your degree?

If that is the case, there will definitely be a disparity in earning. You are still young, if it bothers you that she is earning more than you then you should seriously consider upgrading yourself. If not, this will bother you for the rest of your life. Harsh ? :? but true.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699837https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699837Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:49:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:21:42 GMT]]>

kiddo:
carebear:

My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........

and I wouldn't mind too..........

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........

Nowadays a lot of the woman is like that mah ....so driven.,. :hi5:
WHAT a one Super Lucky Man...... :heresmyfish:

my male colleague and male friends wish they have a wife like that . 😉 :celebrate:

Huh sigh.

I don't want to be a LION or a MALE BEE (drone)

Male LIONS only eat and sleep and the lionesses do all the hunting. Ditto for the bees.

I'm fine. I guess the game is rigged this way, since A-scholars get on the fast track and get promoted to the heavens... I should be happy.

Nevermind, just let me work hard at my contract job that pays 1 mth bonus and start studying for my degree....

Maybe I should become a plumber

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699822https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699822Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:21:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:01:17 GMT]]>

carebear:
My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........

and I wouldn't mind too..........

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........
Nowadays a lot of the woman is like that mah ....so driven.,. :hi5:
WHAT a one Super Lucky Man...... :heresmyfish:

my male colleague and male friends wish they have a wife like that . 😉 :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699808https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699808Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:01:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:40:55 GMT]]>

carebear:
My DH always say if only I could earn more than him........
This seems to be the wish of the males nowadays???? My dh also made the same comments. He went a step further by saying that he hope to have the lifestyle of his ex-boss's hubby. He followed her on assignment in Spore and was her chauffeur and during his free time, he just played golf. They had no kids then. Well, I asked him to dream on.....

He always complained that after paying the hefty tax bills, my net disposable income is same as his. I also need to pay tax just that the tax structure is more favorable for working mothers. My fault :scratchhead:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699790https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699790Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:40:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:23:13 GMT]]>Agree. As long as the wife does not mind, it is fine. You are one lucky man that need not worry about financial burden for the family. Just upgrade yourself through self study or part time private courses and in due time, you will feel better.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699774https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699774Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:23:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:11:04 GMT]]>I have lots of colleagues who earn more than their husband. 😄 They don't mind and is happy.


I feel as long as your wife don't mind than it should be fine. As long as your family is happy. Who earn more, who earn less, why bother? 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699765https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699765Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:11:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:02:15 GMT]]>

carebear:
I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works.... and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him..........

Waaah.... very practical financial planning !!! 😉 :evil:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699757https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699757Mon, 30 Jan 2012 06:02:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:53:58 GMT]]>My DH always say if only I could earn more than him…

and I wouldn’t mind too…

I always tell my DS, in future must get a wife who works… and better still earn more than him, but still love and adore him…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699752https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/699752Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:53:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to help....wife is earning much more than me on Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:39:31 GMT]]>

UncleLim:
Recently I even got to know of a case where the stay-at-home husband was masterminding his wife's political moves in her company where she was trying to dethrone her boss by discrediting him. :heresmyfish:

My... My... What a plot! :rubhands:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/698813https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/698813Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:39:31 GMT