insider:

Hi Funz!

You want to share with us

a) at what age did you/hubby do all the piercing

b) what prompted you/hubby to do so

c) have you/hubby ever regretted doing that?

I am a very open minded person and don't really mind about all these but just interested to know what were in people's mind when they did something and the follow thought about that.

insider:

Son: Oh, X. Ya, I meant to inform you but I forgot.

insider:

Me: Oh, that’s sad. Next time when X comes, you inform me earlier so that I can prepare some delicious snack for him but not at that kind of hour again, OK?

Son: Thanks mum!

insider:

Essence of the exchange:



Me: Son, is there something that I don’t know that happened for the past two nights?

insider:

Rule No. 1 of 'Crisis Management' - Keep Your Cool...


Many things can be learnt from a crisis if one is able to maintain his/her cool at the onset of it...

insider:

Jennifer:

Huh? What abt your maid- not sleeping at 3am?

My maid's room is closer to the main door and she is a light sleeper...

Interesting to know what's actually up his sleeves. It's a pitching of wits later...

insider:

My maid reported something to me this morning about my son. He actually sneaked in a friend at around 3 am for the past two days into his room.

Poonie:

I tried swtiching back to metal earrings and that's how I discovered that I have recovered from my allergy!

Poonie:

Hi All


Going off tangent here for a while.......tryng to give Jennifer some tips on her problematic ears.

Hi Jennifer,

You mentioned that your choice of fashionable earrings are limited due to allergy. I had the same problem for many years until I discovered plastic studs. I wore one pair for a period of 2 months without removing them. To my amazment I can now wear any type of metal (except gold) without the constant itching. Try it!

insider:

PS: Saying ‘No’ is an art by itself. For example if a preschooler crying for an ice cream before dinner, you may say:


“No, you can’t have it until you finish your dinner” or

“Yes, you can have it after you finish your dinner”.

Hearing ‘Nos’ enough frustrates young children and so we need to use language positively to convey ‘negative’ results. Somehow, it works as what your preschooler (or lower primary schooler) prefers to hear is the word ‘Yes’ and not ‘No’ even though the outcome is a ‘No’… (reserve 'No' only on more extreme cases such as danger of going into a deep pool, playing with fire, etc, then the 'No' will be more powerful in a way as the kids know you mean business).

insider:

I observed her skin and it seems like her skin texture belongs to those 'tough' type that makes closing of the holes more difficult (like mine. My earing holes would never close even after so many years of not wearing earings).

insider:

Jennifer:

How I wish I have the info before I pierced mine. I did not know how to care for it, then kena infection. I cant wear anything other than nickel free stubs, also cant wear earrings for prolong period.

I salute you for being such an open minded mum.

Many times forced to be 'open minded' coz saying 'No' will really bring our relationship nowhere (unless something really harmful). It's a negotiation process, he gets something (ear piercing) and I get something (after 16 years old and not on other parts).

My sister was upset because my niece didn't seek her permission and now seeing the two holes (quite big ones) that are now leaving on my niece's face (kids don't really think long term but under peer pressure). But then i asked her, even if my niece seeks permission, would she agree? She kept quiet (coz she would never agree). And so in the child's mind would be, \"What's the point of asking?\"

If my sister would have been more open minded, my niece may ask and from there, they can negotiate. Maybe my sis can consent subject to her doing it after 21 years old. If my niece doesn't agree, at least can offer her all the after-piercing care advice and watch out for infection, study what kind of studs to wear (my niece must have worn those very thick 'needle' stud that have left such big holes on her temple). It's lucky that my niece didn't have any infection else the pierced location at the temple may scar her pretty face.

My 'good girl' niece's action is a true indication of rebellion when she knew very well my sis would jump but she went ahead anyway and prepared for consequences (this is a child who is thinking that she is ready to fly on own). But difficult to advise my sis in a way as she is Chinese educated, sort of highly conservative, etc, and difficult to let down her status from a 'mother' to a 'friend' with her child.

This 'tattoo' thing (pop culture) has been in my mind as I feel sooner or later my kids may ask for it (esp my daughter who sees tattoos as an art instead of anything else. Some of her friends have tattoos in their body hidden away from parents). Like playing with fire, I told my kids I am considering having a tattoo on my hand (I actually feel some tattoos are nice). And my son said, \"Mummy, cannot lah. Later the parents in your centre think you are bad\". We deliberated on the perception of what other people have about people having tattoos. And we went on to discuss about if not on my hand, which part of my body I should tattoo. We explored with a conclusion that better dont coz of the sagging effect that may come soon (for me). I 'thanked' them for their advice.

insider:

Jennifer:

There was an article yesterday on Mind Your Body that runs some facts about developing nickel allergy due to ear piercing. Have your son read that?

Thanks for sharing! (will go fish out the article as I usually only read the main parts of ST).

Nevertheless, I tend not 'frighten' him with such fact (to prevent him from thinking I am actually trying to stop him. If want to consent, he must perceive the consent as a willing one and not otherwise) but will tell him prior to ear piercing about the risk of infection and post-piercing care required.

My son has very delicate skin like a girl ('fair' base) and he is very scared of pain. Once kena a mosquito bite, his skin will swell and takes longer time to recover. He knows his skin condition and I presume he is also aware of the probable pain during piercing and so if after piercing he suffers infection, then serves him right. No pain...no gain...