<![CDATA[Which sacrifice should I made?]]>Hi Parents


I feel helpless at this moment because I lacked support. 😞

I received a call from my son's teacher (he's in P2) and was told that he did badly for his 1st grammar test. I was very disappointed with my son and had a good talk with him last night. I felt very emotional about how he had performed (as if I was the one taking the test). My son got average results in P1 and when he failed his grammar test recently, I felt like the world tumbled down.

My son is the type of boy who would wait for me to come back from work and sit down to do his homework only at night. I have put in so much effort to talk to him to try doing his homework after school (he is in morning session), he tried initially, but gave up when he couldn't do most of the homework himself.

I had earlier submitted my application to take up part time diploma (will take up 4 nights weekly). In this case, my time spent with my son will be very limited. So I'm not sure if I should withdrew my application in order to help my son.

I am now thinking hard - if I should sacrifice my time to help my son or should I still pursue my goal to further my studies?

May I seek the advice of parents here? Thanks.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/32084/which-sacrifice-should-i-madeRSS for NodeWed, 22 Apr 2026 12:04:03 GMTWed, 15 Feb 2012 09:18:04 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Sun, 19 Feb 2012 04:02:28 GMT]]>Wow.. thanks for all the support and great ideas. I am glad to have this online conversation with you and yes.. will do all I can to motivate my son and give him the time he needs. :grphug: :thankyou:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/713167https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/713167Sun, 19 Feb 2012 04:02:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:33:59 GMT]]>

less kiasu liao:
Hi, happened to come across this post. I am a fellow mum of 4, the last having finished PSLE last year. Hope you don't mind that I make a few suggestions concerning your ds's English.


1.Listen to audio books. These are available from the library nowadays. I used them alot when I had no time to read to my kids. When your ds gets used to them, he can listen to them when you are not around. If your family drives, use them in the car.
2.Watch English cartoons. Grammar is picked up while the child enjoys himself.
3.Listen to English kid songs. Again, sentence structure and grammar is picked up in a fun way.
4.If your ds will not read English story books, read English comics. These are available from libraries too.
5.Instead of spending alot of time doing English assessments, read one book to your child everynight. infact, it could be used as an incentive to encourage him to do his homework so there is time for more stories at night. Children who pick up the love of reading do not need to do much English revision at home until the higher levels.
6.Time with your child at night will eventually be needed most to help him do better in Maths.

. Your ds is still in P2, so time is on your side. But you must take steps to improve his English now or his school life will become really difficult.

All the best to you and your family!
:goodpost:

Pinkycheeks, less kiasu liao is right. Considering whether or not to take up the diploma course is one of the decisions you had to make (and have made) and the next thing is how to help your child. I agree that you need not have to sit with him do do assessment for him to improve. There are many different ways, and you could also use this chance to MOTIVATE him and help him to motivate himself - Remember to praise and encourage him on his efforts rather than on getting better scores. All the best!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/712676https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/712676Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:33:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:01:20 GMT]]>Hi, happened to come across this post. I am a fellow mum of 4, the last having finished PSLE last year. Hope you don’t mind that I make a few suggestions concerning your ds’s English.


1.Listen to audio books. These are available from the library nowadays. I used them alot when I had no time to read to my kids. When your ds gets used to them, he can listen to them when you are not around. If your family drives, use them in the car.
2.Watch English cartoons. Grammar is picked up while the child enjoys himself.
3.Listen to English kid songs. Again, sentence structure and grammar is picked up in a fun way.
4.If your ds will not read English story books, read English comics. These are available from libraries too.
5.Instead of spending alot of time doing English assessments, read one book to your child everynight. infact, it could be used as an incentive to encourage him to do his homework so there is time for more stories at night. Children who pick up the love of reading do not need to do much English revision at home until the higher levels.
6.Time with your child at night will eventually be needed most to help him do better in Maths.

. Your ds is still in P2, so time is on your side. But you must take steps to improve his English now or his school life will become really difficult.

All the best to you and your family!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/712573https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/712573Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:01:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:07:21 GMT]]>so glad to hear that!! you don’t have to wait till after PSLE. if your kid gets gd foundation, will be more motivated and might be on auto-pilot after a year or two. then you can go pursue yr education.


no point getting degree faster, more money but kid in bad shape.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711674https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711674Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:07:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 06:11:05 GMT]]>Hi pinkycheeks


I believe you've made the right decision. If I were you, I'll make the sacrifice too! You'll reap the rewards in future! :rahrah:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711439https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711439Thu, 16 Feb 2012 06:11:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 05:02:56 GMT]]>All said and done, i only have this to offer you, pinkycheeks.. :hugs:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711366https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711366Thu, 16 Feb 2012 05:02:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:48:50 GMT]]>Happy to know that u already come into a decision n hv peace with it 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711353https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711353Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:48:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:40:11 GMT]]>

pinkycheeks:
Thanks parents.. I feel more relieved. Last night, I took some personal time (in the toilet - bleargghh!) just to think and reflect. I felt that if I don't start giving more attention now, it may too late later. Once they reach teens, it'll be another set of issues. I agree that English foundation is important. My children mean so much to me and yes I'll sacrifice for them. 🙂

That's wonderful, pinkycheeks! Your sacrifice will certainly pay off! It will be much much more valuable than a piece of paper qualification! Enjoy the time with your DS :rahrah:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711342https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711342Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:40:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 03:10:00 GMT]]>Thanks parents.. I feel more relieved. Last night, I took some personal time (in the toilet - bleargghh!) just to think and reflect. I felt that if I don't start giving more attention now, it may too late later. Once they reach teens, it'll be another set of issues. I agree that English foundation is important. My children mean so much to me and yes I'll sacrifice for them. 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711266https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711266Thu, 16 Feb 2012 03:10:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 02:51:09 GMT]]>hi pinkycheeks


I was in the same situation as you. I was about to submit my training form to my boss to take up a one year polytechnic course which will \"cost\" me 3 nights per week. My DH's job requires him to work late most of the times. In the end, I forgo it, my kids' foundation years are more important than my personal goals and development. Can you look for some online courses? I am trying to source for some online courses now.

My DS1 is also in P2 & so far my methods work for him. I have prepared a time table and pinned it up for him and the time table's generally has the time for his meal, his homework & assessment time, his music practice & nap time (he is in morning session). I realized we have to start drilling him to \"work hard consistently\" then he can also \"play hard\" during the weekends.

Mon to Fri, I will allocate some homework for him to do,mostly assessment books in the afternoon when he is back from school. Initially there were alot of \"bargaining\" from him that he cannot complete his work cause I have given him alot but the \"bargaining\" got lesser and lesser as the routine sets in. It helps that I have a good domestic helper who will call me if my son does not want to do his homework 😂 My son was complaining about her to me just the other day, saying Auntie always nags at him and told me he prefers the previous maid.

At night, when I am back from work, I will go through his work with him and this is also a time to bond. Of course, there will be days when I just do not feel like doing anything but to relax at home and watch TV programs, then he will be very happy.

To be a parents nowadays, we definitely have to sacrifice alot of our times. I do not need my son to be Number 1 but if he falls too far behind, it will be my fault cause my son has only me and DH to guide him as we do not believe in enrichment centres.

I try to console myself, I just need to guide him for primary school and after that, he will be on his own (cause I think is time to let go when he is in Sec Sch) and then I will have more time for myself!!! 😂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711243https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711243Thu, 16 Feb 2012 02:51:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:53:44 GMT]]>Hi Pinkycheeks

My opinion is, put your son first. He needs you more than your job. The PT studies can come later. But your son can only go through childhood once and it is now that he needs you most. I agree with the postings earlier that we need to help our kids build their foundation from lower primary… by the time they reach P5, it will be much harder and a greater struggle - because the school will only be focussed on preparing the kids for the PSLE and the weaker ones will be most stressed as they would still be trying to learn the basics!

Continue to encourage your son to try and do his hw after school - he could leave out those he can’t do and wait for you to go through with him at night. Have you tried using charts and incentives to motivate him? Like giving him a star for every hw he tries to complete (at least 50%?) and when he has achieved say 10 stars, give him a treat or get him a small present to reward him for his efforts? Praise him for every little effort he makes.

If you take up the PT course now, it will add more stress to both yourself and your son, because you will be struggling with your own studies after work and you will feel very guilty for not being able to spend more time with your son and help him. You might get frustrated with everything because you would be so tired and you still worry about your son’s progress. He will feel that your studies/career is more important than him. Right now, he needs you to be there for him, support him and help him build up his confidence in himself. I am not sure if hiring private tutors will help - it didn’t work for my DD. My DH tutored her personally everyday - he persevered, giving up on watching TV etc to spend time with her every night to go through her homework and do revision. That was the only way to help her be consistent and ‘catch up’ with schoolwork. Most kids need guidance in their primary school years. They will also feel more secured when parents are there for them and follow their progress closely.

Lastly, do not be disheartened by the test result, it doesn’t mean he has failed totally. It just means we need to see what are the gaps we might have missed out to help him reach his fullest potential. He is capable of doing well!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711173https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711173Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:53:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:28:28 GMT]]>For me, it’s very imprtant to master the English language. No, I donch mean scoring A*, but having a good grasp of it, and for lower primary, at least try to get a high Band2. Coz everything here in SG is in English…u donch get it right, your other subjects will suffer…eventually.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711149https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711149Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:28:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:53:48 GMT]]>Hi pinkycheeks,


Since your son is taken care by a helper, perhaps you can consider getting a tutor to help him with his work after school. You could perhaps ask around your neighbourhood for students (whom could charge cheaper) just to guide him with his work. However, you need to monitor at least during the initial stage to ensure this tutor is willing to put in effort to guide your child.

However from what you’ve written, I can see that your child loves to have you guide him. I think this is great as it creates bonding between both of you. Children grew up very fast.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711115https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711115Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:53:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:45:00 GMT]]>Thanks all for your opinion and guidance.


My supervisor has been telling me to further my studies because she finds that I have the potential to go further and by upgrading I can help to lift up the financial income. If I do not further my studies now, I will never be able to do so in future (by the time I hit mid 40s if I were to wait for my 2nd son to pull through PSLE).

I'm working full time and my elder son is taken care by an Indonesian helper. Though I emphasised to my son that it is better for him to do his homework in the afternoon so that I can focus on revision at night, he will still wait for me to come back. I guess he's still not so independent yet. I asked him yesterday if he is agreeable for me to study at night, and he doesn't want me to do so. I guess this shows he needs my attention more since I couldn't be with him during day time. Sigh.. 😞

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711110https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711110Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:45:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:18:10 GMT]]>My dd classmate was in student care fr abt 3-4 yrs but unfortunately there he did not get sufficient help and his result was poor yr after year, when his parents finally decided to pull him out at p5 n hire private tutor it was already too late, there is not much can be done as his foundation is very weak n the worse is his confidence level is low n i think its even more serious than merely academic result. Student care is suitable for the kids who are independent enough in studying, not for the weak one.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711033https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/711033Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:18:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:04:22 GMT]]>Both my kids attended sch care but i must say that it really depends on the in charge. My no.1 does not do homework at sch care. The teacher also does not bother to get him to do his work. But my no. Z had a veryteacher and my no. 2’s result is very gd.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710990https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710990Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:04:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:38:05 GMT]]>If your purpose of part time dip is to improve the financial situation of the family, how long do u think u can delay? He is in p2 now, are u going to delay til he goes to sec sch? Is he going to student care? Can student care teachers help in sch wk? How long is your part time dip? U need to be realistic as without support, the chance of u dropping out halfway is high. What kind of help is available at home? What does your kid do while waiting for u at home?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710878https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710878Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:38:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:28:10 GMT]]>If you work full time, it is very taxing to return and coach your kid while fighting against time (since he needs to sleep early). A good alternative is after-school care. They have group tuition there and the teachers will make him finish his school work. When you take him home, you can enjoy quality time with him without any worry about homework.


If you take this option, whether you put your diploma on hold or not, it’s up to you.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710869https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710869Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:28:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:57:08 GMT]]>If you have exhausted all other means (e.g your husband also work late and unable to coach) , the best option is to delay your study. Your kid needs you more now. If he continues not to do well, his confidence level will dip and it will be harder to help him by then.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710843https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710843Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:57:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:18:28 GMT]]>Hi, my opinion is- it’s very impt for us parents to give support to our children. Foundation is very impt for a kid… I think u must support him by guiding him with his hw until he’s stable doing on his own… For myself I will sit down with him during Lower pri & by P4 he’s able to do his hw himself without me calling. I think it’s very impt for you to give full support to yr kid if you want him to do well. If he did well for certain test/exam, praise him.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710811https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710811Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:18:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Which sacrifice should I made? on Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:59:50 GMT]]>Hw abt postponing yr plan for yr further study until yr son hs more confidence on himself, he needs a lot of encouragement frm someone he trust which is his own mom? U wd not be able to concentrate on yr study knowing that yr son is struggling by himself, it wd add up yr stress level hence affecting yr relationship with yr son. Try to be patient with him, my dd perform better when i encourage her rather than when i scold her. Anyway, u know yr situation better, so pray and hope for wisdom in what to decide.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710757https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/710757Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:59:50 GMT