Maid Vs Student Care

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:17:58 GMT

Emelyn — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:17:58 GMT

Xun Ya:
I'm a FTWM wo helper. Used to have a maid for 5 years but i think she changed over the years. Different man is waiting for her outside my house. She even borrowed money and these people come to house to collect every month. So i decided to send her back because she simply cannot oblige to my terms and condition to her.

Initially is really tough but now with good time management i feel that everything is going smoothly.

By the time i reach home is already 730pm. We will take our dinner and after which laundry, ironing (this is the time for my kids to catch some TV programme since in childcare they have no time for their favourite show). At 9pm. I'm done with all housework. 9-10pm i will do some revision with them. By 10pm, bed time and i make it compulsory to read to them.

When lights off, we will chit chat and joke until we fall asleep

I definitely will need to put my son in BASC cause no one to take care of him during the day. Another reason is because i don't want to further stress him when he's back from school in the evening. Morning is the best time to learn. So BASC is still my choice

Hi Xun Ya,

This sounds like a good arrangement. Whatever arrangement it is, as long as you are comfortable, it is the best arrangement for you then.

I am also a FTWM. No maids. 3 kids (K1, P2, P4). K1 in childcare. P2 & P4 in BASC. We usually reach home by 7pm. And would finish dinner and washing up by 8pm. 8pm to 9pm is homework/coaching/activity time with the kids. Kids go to bed at 9pm though they usually REALLY sleep at 10pm, after their bedtime reading and chatting. DH will read to them chapter books. They loved being read to, though they are already capable of reading themselves. After the kids sleep, then it is housework or personal unwind time.

I leave most of the housework to Saturday morning. Of course, DH helps a lot .... vacuum/mopping and toilet cleaning on Wed morning. And I do another time on Sat morning. Laundry is simple cos that's done by the washer ! Ironing... i dislike this... but luckily only need to iron school uniform and minimum DH's clothes. That's done on Sunday night. Usually 1.5hrs.

Well... we have survived 1 yr with this arrangement. And we are really happy that we can manage on our own.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:28:56 GMT

buds — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:28:56 GMT

B : Before

A : After
S : School
C : Care

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:26:59 GMT

sasapanpooh — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:26:59 GMT

Xun Ya:
I'm a FTWM wo helper. Used to have a maid for 5 years but i think she changed over the years. Different man is waiting for her outside my house. She even borrowed money and these people come to house to collect every month. So i decided to send her back because she simply cannot oblige to my terms and condition to her.

Initially is really tough but now with good time management i feel that everything is going smoothly.

By the time i reach home is already 730pm. We will take our dinner and after which laundry, ironing (this is the time for my kids to catch some TV programme since in childcare they have no time for their favourite show). At 9pm. I'm done with all housework. 9-10pm i will do some revision with them. By 10pm, bed time and i make it compulsory to read to them.

What does

When lights off, we will chit chat and joke until we fall asleep

I definitely will need to put my son in BASC cause no one to take care of him during the day. Another reason is because i don't want to further stress him when he's back from school in the evening. Morning is the best time to learn. So BASC is still my choice

hi,
anyone can tell me what BASC stand for?

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:04:54 GMT

Xun Ya — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:04:54 GMT

I'm a FTWM wo helper. Used to have a maid for 5 years but i think she changed over the years. Different man is waiting for her outside my house. She even borrowed money and these people come to house to collect every month. So i decided to send her back because she simply cannot oblige to my terms and condition to her.

Initially is really tough but now with good time management i feel that everything is going smoothly.

By the time i reach home is already 730pm. We will take our dinner and after which laundry, ironing (this is the time for my kids to catch some TV programme since in childcare they have no time for their favourite show). At 9pm. I'm done with all housework. 9-10pm i will do some revision with them. By 10pm, bed time and i make it compulsory to read to them.

When lights off, we will chit chat and joke until we fall asleep

I definitely will need to put my son in BASC cause no one to take care of him during the day. Another reason is because i don't want to further stress him when he's back from school in the evening. Morning is the best time to learn. So BASC is still my choice

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:53:12 GMT

Funz — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:53:12 GMT

Herbie:

Malay does not have maid so how did they manage to do all the chores by themselves....

I know of many Malays who have maids. Likewise, I know of many people of various races who have managed without live in domestic help.

I am FTWM with a helper. DD is starting P1 next year. I am not putting her in BASC or Student Care unless she is not self driven. Much like what David59 says. And even if I have to put her in a student care, I will still continue having a helper.

However, having a helper does not mean that my kids do not have to tend to their own needs. I still expect them to sort out their own laundry and put them in the proper laundry baskets, make their own beds, pick up and pack up after themselves. DD will have to wash her own shoes and pack her own bags, etc. My helper's role is general household chores and preparing meals. I don't expect her to be making sure that dd does her work or picking up after my kids.

Am I dependent on my maid. I don't think so. She went on home leave for 3 weeks and I was handling everything myself. But having a helper around relieves me from all the chores and allow me to spend time reading or playing games with my kids. And yes, it gives me more time to unwind after work as well.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:21:24 GMT

david59 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:21:24 GMT

Hi MMM n Raeyes,

So glad that you are able to juggle the different roles. As long as your children are the disciplined and self-motivated types which I have shared, do not need student care services.
You are very blessed. :udawoman:

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:37:48 GMT

raeyes — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:37:48 GMT

IMO if you are a FTWM: with a helper to take care of the chores, you can concentrate better & spend quality time with your child, be it playing or coaching with child’s work, check child’s school bag or catching up with child’s day at school, etc.

WO helper, perhaps after work, your mind might be swamped with dinner choice (to cook or pack) or chores…washing up after dinner, or other stuff like laundry.

As for myself, as a FTWM with extra help from helper at home, I’ve spare time allowing me to plan lunch (dd’s single session), dinner for the whole family - writing down what to cook daily for the helper, also packing lunchbox for dd’s sch recess, most importantly attending to dd wholeheartedly after dinner every day.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:24:01 GMT

Xun Ya — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:24:01 GMT

Hi David59 & MMM

Thanks for sharing

Currently i will tell my son the homework that he needs to complete before i reach home. After all my housework i will sit down with him and go through what he has done.

I want him to have the habit to do some revision every day when he enters P1 next year

Well he is adapting the new routine and lifestyle... No more crying when going to the childcare.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:07:45 GMT

MMM — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:07:45 GMT

Hi Xun Ya,

We’ve a maid and my pils are staying with us. We cannot depend on them to provide academic support. When my maid went back on home leave for around 3 weeks, everyone chipped in to help. I would get the kids to make their own bed. Despite that my mil is around, I cannot leave all housework to her. I realised that during that time, i had to worry if there will be sun on the weekends (so that I can wash our clothes and the clothes can dry on time), I had to iron the clothes, ensure that the kids’ uniform and school shoes have been are washed and dry in time, etc… those were the things that just bogged me. This is on top of our busy weekend schedule where the kids have lessons.

Personally, I am a FTWM and I classify this as "non value added" activities which my maid can handle. Call me pampered but given a choice, I rather spend my time in a value added way like coaching the kids.

As for drilling the kids, I wouldn’t call it drilling but it’s good to establish a daily schedule so that the child get accustom to doing work everyday. Be it to do their homework or revision. That was my new year resolution for 2009. My kids will have to start doing their work from 8pm and will only be able to leave the room after they complete. They became used to the arrangement that currently (after exams), if I am not back by 8pm (mummy needs a break now), they would call me and ask me what should they do today. They probably feel strange idling around during that time slot. What I am trying to drive is the self-discipline and kids strive on consistency.

My kids are not the top scorers type but I know that they worked hard in their daily activities and we’ve all done our best. There is no regrets and I think their results is not too bad either.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:55:50 GMT

david59 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:55:50 GMT

Xun Ya:
Hi David59

Thanks for your advise.

My sister was telling me that it will be good if i can drill my son for 2 hours every night. Is it necessary? The child will be very tired right?

Can i safely said that BASC will do most of the coaching and as parents we just need to keep track of their progress. I really don't know the poor boy to feel so stressful.

They will. But also u must check out the centres too. You know, there are always the good ones and not so good ones. Some centres do what they are supposed to do - basic care giving plus making sure the kids are doing their homework. Other centres including supervising and helping them to know their school works. Yet there are others that includes tuition which thus charge extra fee.
My centre does not provide tuition. But we are very committed to help the kids to learn as much as they are willing to learn. This is why most of the kids in my centre are in the top three classes in their levels.
Unfortunately, your home is in Jurong, too far to send your kid to my centre. Anyway, I pray that you will find a good one near your area. God bless u n your family.

For more info about the routines in the centre, click here

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6142

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:41:40 GMT

Xun Ya — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:41:40 GMT

Hi David59

Thanks for your advise.

My sister was telling me that it will be good if i can drill my son for 2 hours every night. Is it necessary? The child will be very tired right?

Can i safely said that BASC will do most of the coaching and as parents we just need to keep track of their progress. I really don’t know the poor boy to feel so stressful.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:20:00 GMT

david59 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:20:00 GMT

Xun Ya:
Hi Sasapanpooh

I'm maidless for 4 months. All of us are trying to get used to the current lifestyle.

However, my siblings and hubby feels that i need a maid and they always bringing out this topic of getting a new maid.

Well... there are so many FTWM in Singapore and i guess most of us are coping well w/o maid. In terms of children's academic result, housework, etc... but is really stressful and no time for ourselve

Hi Xun Ya,
As someone who works in the Before n after School Care, I have seen so many parents who send their children to student care after seeing their study grade deteriorating; some very badly. Why is this so? Because the maid or even grandparents are not able to help the kid with his/ her homework. Moreover, they often do not have the authority to make the kid do his/ her homework much less assessment books.
In the end, the kid does not learn time management discipline and good study habits. They just waste the precious time. By the time the parents are home to help them with their homework, they are already mentally exhausted while the kid is already too tired and has to sleep early. :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:
Only highly self-motivated kids will have no problem without student care.

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:19:06 GMT

Herbie — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:19:06 GMT

I never had any maid, my kids are 11 and 9 years old liao.

I sent them to childcare centre and school care when they were young.

I think Singapore are do dependent on maid.

If the policy change and maids are not allowed to come to Singapore then how???

Malay does not have maid so how did they manage to do all the chores by themselves…

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:53:05 GMT

Xun Ya — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:53:05 GMT

Hi Sasapanpooh

I’m maidless for 4 months. All of us are trying to get used to the current lifestyle.

However, my siblings and hubby feels that i need a maid and they always bringing out this topic of getting a new maid.

Well… there are so many FTWM in Singapore and i guess most of us are coping well w/o maid. In terms of children’s academic result, housework, etc… but is really stressful and no time for ourselve

Reply to Maid Vs Student Care on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:23:08 GMT

sasapanpooh — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:23:08 GMT

Xun Ya:
Hi All

My son will be going to Primary 1 next year. I was thinking of doing w/o a maid by then.

Plan to send my daughter to the childcare next to my office and son to the student care beside the school.

Anyone to advice me on whether to continue with a maid or go send the kids to the centre.

Regards
Xun Ya

hi,
if i were u , i will leave the maid out. its time to teach ur child to be indenpdant. every weekends get the children involve in the house work. u will infect slowly build the bond with them. even if they mess up rather than help up. be patient them. remember their still a child. never give a child an ideal to have maid life will work up.