chloecube:

Published on Jun 26, 2012


http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_814996.html

MUCH has been said about Singaporean parents' (over)emphasis on offering their children the best education possible, in a bid to give them a head start in life.


But education is a means to an end. Have parents considered and defined the 'end' and how they see success for their children?


Success, by many parents' definition, seems to centre only on academic achievement, in the hope that it will land their children good jobs with high pay. But does success revolve only around the themes of attaining wealth, material gain, achievement and status?


I would like to offer another perspective to what parents can give their children; one that is often neglected - the quality of their marital relationship.


According to research, a healthy marriage brings many benefits to children. They are more likely to succeed academically, are physically and emotionally healthier, are less prone to behavioural problems in school and delinquent behaviours, and have better relationships with their parents.


Social science research confirms that children grow up happy and healthy in homes where their parents are in stable and strong marriages.


A strong marriage is an intangible and priceless gift to children, which also begets a strong family unit - the bedrock of every society.


The trappings of a successful life charted for our children become hollow without the substance of a strong marriage. After all, our marriage is where our children draw their intrinsic life lessons on relationships, communication and the works.


Agnes Goh (Ms)


Parenting Specialist


Focus on the Family Singapore

Mychildren:

ksi:

I agree to this as well, thanks for sharing.

It is not money, best education etc... children look for family togetherness to thrive. This is why people always say home is where the family is. Holiday to different locations is never an issue for children to adapt to any place because as long as parents are with them.

Yes, I agree to what ksi has written.
Previously, I quite shy to let my hubby hug or kiss me in front of the kids. Now, I don't mind because they can see how loving their parents are and learn to be loving to their husband/wife in future.

ksi:

I agree to this as well, thanks for sharing.

It is not money, best education etc... children look for family togetherness to thrive. This is why people always say home is where the family is. Holiday to different locations is never an issue for children to adapt to any place because as long as parents are with them.

kiddo:

MOKiasu:

Wow amazing. It's easy to neglect this when a lot of attention is placed on the kids right? Does having kids make you and your spouse quarrel more frequently?

Should never be , kids should be one person couple will agree about ,
tell DH , DS is one we never have disagreement about cos both would want the best for him :boogie: ...
the cement in a marriage ......one part of both of us :romance:

MOKiasu:

Wow amazing. It's easy to neglect this when a lot of attention is placed on the kids right? Does having kids make you and your spouse quarrel more frequently?

Divamama:

Good reminder. My parents have a terrible relationship. It was very painful growing up and I am still bugged by quite a few unhappy incidents from those dark teenage years.


Fast forward to a few failed relationships, marriage to the rock of my life, and a beautiful daughter (one more coming!), I've learnt to handle my emotions better. It's easier said than done but everyday, I have to remind myself to cherish my husband and what we have built together. I'm not wife of the year material but I do my best, because I don't want my daughters to ever have to experience what I had been through.

Love one another. Three simple words but so much hard work in reality.

jedamum:

chloecube:

DD ever ask me if i love her or DH more

told her tat i love DH more, he is my husband.
because w/o him, there wont be her
but i assure her that she is the next in the list ..hahah

lol.
OT, but when ds1 asked me if i love him or ds2 more, i told him that given that the amount of love i have for them is equal, and ds1 is 4 yrs older than ds2, adds up the cumulative amount of love, technically the amount is more for ds1.

chloecube:

DD ever ask me if i love her or DH more

told her tat i love DH more, he is my husband.
because w/o him, there wont be her
but i assure her that she is the next in the list ..hahah

chloecube:

alng:

Totally agree with the article. My dd's school ever organised a talk by a male family counsellor 2-3 years ago. He said that the greatest love a father can ever give his children is to love their mother.

:rahrah: :rahrah:
yup, think i heard that too
always place your spouse in the first place, followed by kids, frds,work..etc

alng:

Totally agree with the article. My dd's school ever organised a talk by a male family counsellor 2-3 years ago. He said that the greatest love a father can ever give his children is to love their mother.

ksi:

I agree to this as well, thanks for sharing.

It is not money, best education etc... children look for family togetherness to thrive. This is why people always say home is where the family is. Holiday to different locations is never an issue for children to adapt to any place because as long as parents are with them.

fightingmom:

:thankyou: for sharing!