How to get my 4years old son to be more focus

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:36:00 GMT

Nebbermind — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:36:00 GMT

Or maybe switch to full cream or even condensed milk instead of those supercharged formula....then the brain will not be overclocking :evil:

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:29:24 GMT

pumpkin_pie — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 15:29:24 GMT

Focusing is def a skill; needs to be slowly cultured into daily lifestyle. Nothing can happen overnight. And if you don’t start somewhere, you will always think it can’t happen and will just let it be. It’s can be just 10min a day to 45mins. This is very little compared to the other time they get to play freely and be creative. It won’t take away their childhood for sure! In fact, there’s def no harm done; but only good over the long run.

And it must be a happy thing for them. No scolding but instead, a gentle reasoning to "pull" them back to focus. Lots of motivation and patience on the part of parents… find a good way as all kids are different. On why I think it’s a good skill to start early? When Ds starts something now, he will finish it all the way, without giving up so fast. If no focus, the kid will usually give up faster and not be willing to try. And Ds is always telling me what happens in school-the theme for the wk, what to bring tmr, what he learnt for math and what sight words etc. I attribute these to being able to focus somehow.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 11:03:13 GMT

Imami — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 11:03:13 GMT

kalim:
Just spend more and more time with your 4years old son.

Honestly, from the perspective of getting the child to be more focus, I am not sure if this would work.

But definitely, spending more time with the child brings forth a lot of benefits. For one, the child is more willing to do what you request (pleasing you). The child would Also understand you better and hence, can grab your intention/instruction better.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 11:00:23 GMT

Imami — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 11:00:23 GMT

mumzmummy:
i wonder if rewarding would help the kid to be more focus?

No leh, doesn't work on mine....

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:58:25 GMT

Imami — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:58:25 GMT

Don't rush into getting the child to do it or handling it too high handedly. It may back fires. After all, the child is only four.

What we shd nurture is a life long interest in learning.

Playing puzzles (gradually progress to more pcs) is a good way to train focusing. Jenga or playing the balancing tree will also help.

I heard listening to audio books will help too. Donna how true but now we are trying out. Child can't read alot yet but loves \"complicated stories\" which are meant for older kids. So I bought audio books for him. To read the whole book for him is too much for me :faint:

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:50:39 GMT

Imami — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:50:39 GMT

I agree with pumpkin-pie on the part that the ability to focus need to be taught and nurtured. For young children, it does not come naturally.

But I also agree/understand where 3boys and snow crystal are coming from. Every child is different and in my opinion/experience, "the time" will come. But first, you need to create the opportunity for it to happen. Having said that, if the child is not ready, no matter how much the parent do, it will not happen (because the time is not here yet).
I didn’t know better then (ok, still learning now too) and was wondering why my child couldn’t concentrate on one task for 10min. He was two then. spoke to the cc teacher to understand better (e.g. Was he the odd one out, how long other children of the same age is doing, what can I do to help etc). It turned out, my child was coding fine. He could sit there listened to story telling session and finish his puzzles etc. It was me and my unrealistic expectation.
Upon the realization that actually my child was doing fine and heeding the teachers’ suggestions, I starHTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified
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Connection: ktient). He is four btw. Now he can finish up 20-30 pc puzzles at one go or reading 2-3 readers (16 to 20 pages) on his own.

As for writing, he started to learn to write almost a yr ago (about 3.5 yr old). It was a steep uphill for him but we pressed on. Starting with one sheet per session. It was never against his will. I have this little corner equipped with worksheets/books/activity pads/crayons etc like a little school. Whenever he decides to "come to mummy school", we would do some home learning.

Now he is doing 20-30worksheets at one go - some math, some language related. He decides how many sheets he wants to do. When he says " I don’t want already, the school is closed for the day". Nothing by force. He happy, I happy.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:32:58 GMT

Imami — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 10:32:58 GMT

3Boys:
My dears, what do you really expect from 4 year-olds? Focus? Sense of urgency? C'mon, give 'em a break!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 3boys very stunned. He must be wondering what's wrong with these mummies!?

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 06:53:58 GMT

pumpkin_pie — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 06:53:58 GMT

to add on... I feel you need to explain to your child what is focusing.

I do that by telling him \"do you like it if mummy plays a game with you, but keeps doing other things like going toilet, going kitchen, going to wash clothes....?\" And if you do play a game with him, try that out yourself, so he can see how that feels when you are not focused when with him.
And I also tell him its good to know how to focus, as it helps you finish your task faster. Don;t you want to be the first? .... and all the other benefits. Kids all love to be no. 1.
Hope this helps...

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Sun, 29 Jul 2012 06:46:17 GMT

pumpkin_pie — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 06:46:17 GMT

I have to disagree that 4yo should not be taught to focus. In fact, right from young, this skill should be taught. Since young, I started with letting my ds play with his toys for a good 10mins at least, or finish the task (be it a puzzle, maze, building something). If he plays something for a min, then change to something else, I will try to pull him back to completing his previous "task" first. I do not like him to be taking out so many toys in a short time, as I think this creates a very short concentration span.

Since he was 3yo, I started to let him sit down at his very own small "study" table and he would do simple games like mazes, matching, writing for 10mins, then slowly stretch to 40mins, now that he is 4.5yo. Of course, he will at times be distracted, but it is mummy’s job to gently pull them back into focus, without making them irritated. After a while, they will understand what is focusing all about.
I also have a daily task list on a small magnetic board. I put very simple tasks there like 1) snack, 2) reading a book to mummy, 3) worksheet games, 4) play time, 5) milk, 6) play games/puzzles , 7) dinner, bedtime stories. My ds does not attend fullday CC, so he has a lot of time at home with me. 40mins a day is a fraction of the rest of his other time he gets to play and have fun. So everyday (exclude weekends) after he completes each task, he gets to put a star magnet on the empty square. Ds is very motivated to ensure he gets all his stars. If he gets all the stars in that week, weekend, he gets to choose any snack he wants to eat.
So I find this has helped my ds to focus better in other things too, even at school. And definitely will be a great help when he goes P1 and starts having school homework. (his current sch does not give daily homework).

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Fri, 13 Jul 2012 07:21:35 GMT

kalim — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 07:21:35 GMT

Just spend more and more time with your 4years old son.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Thu, 12 Jul 2012 03:14:42 GMT

mumzmummy — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 03:14:42 GMT

i wonder if rewarding would help the kid to be more focus?

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:45:28 GMT

Snow Crystal — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:45:28 GMT

3Boys:

Much too young my dear! Let him be the distracted, lazy, scattered child that he will be for his age. You'll miss it when it's gone!

Totally agree! Please let the 4yo kid play and slack now while he can... What's the hurry to make sure he focus and do homework! Did we do homework at 4 yo...?! The attention span of kids at that age is very very short. Start with him focusing for 5 min then increase to 10mins after a few weeks gradually ... But at 4 yo, please let him play and laugh becos once he grows older, you will miss that genuine laughter from the heart and you will seldom hear it too...

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:25:52 GMT

Funz — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:25:52 GMT

名星妈妈:
My youngest sonny turning 4 this year. I have placed him in a full time child care centre.

The school will give homework like colouring and writing alphapets and numbers. We face a great challenge whenever sit him down infront of the papers. Immediately he gets restless and start fidgeting. He simply cannot finish his homework (1 chinese colouring and 1 English or Maths).

He can gave his pencil to my care-giver to ask her to finish off for him. Even matching pictures, his elder brother had to hold the ruler for him. Yesterday evening, my brother helped me. My son told me brother: \"You want to do it, do it.\" and gave his pencil to my brother.

Any suggestions?

lll faint

The homework is given by the childcare?
He is already in fullday childcare, which means he would have done the necessary work in the course of the day right? Why is there homework?

DS told me once when he was still in childcare, K1 I think. When I am at school, my job is to learn. When I am at home, my job is to play and relax.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:18:21 GMT

Funz — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:18:21 GMT

Ran1977:
My son is now 4yrs 7mths...same thing...so not focussed and distracted by everything when asked to do his homework worksheets...also gets very angry and impatient over the littlest things?

Also when asked to bathe, wear his clothes or eat, he will take forever....are all 5year old children like this???There is NO SENSE OF URGENCY in them!
Are all 5year old boys this angry and hot tempered???
How do I deal with this as I am a single FTWM and he is the only child??

Could he be picking up vibes from you?

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:00:52 GMT

3Boys — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:00:52 GMT

My dears, what do you really expect from 4 year-olds? Focus? Sense of urgency? C’mon, give 'em a break!

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:31:30 GMT

Ran1977 — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:31:30 GMT

My son is now 4yrs 7mths…same thing…so not focussed and distracted by everything when asked to do his homework worksheets…also gets very angry and impatient over the littlest things?

Also when asked to bathe, wear his clothes or eat, he will take forever…are all 5year old children like this???There is NO SENSE OF URGENCY in them!
Are all 5year old boys this angry and hot tempered???
How do I deal with this as I am a single FTWM and he is the only child??

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Tue, 10 Jul 2012 01:02:20 GMT

3Boys — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 01:02:20 GMT

名星妈妈:
My youngest sonny turning 4 this year. I have placed him in a full time child care centre.

The school will give homework like colouring and writing alphapets and numbers. We face a great challenge whenever sit him down infront of the papers. Immediately he gets restless and start fidgeting. He simply cannot finish his homework (1 chinese colouring and 1 English or Maths).

He can gave his pencil to my care-giver to ask her to finish off for him. Even matching pictures, his elder brother had to hold the ruler for him. Yesterday evening, my brother helped me. My son told me brother: \"You want to do it, do it.\" and gave his pencil to my brother.

Any suggestions?

lll faint

Much too young my dear! Let him be the distracted, lazy, scattered child that he will be for his age. You'll miss it when it's gone!

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Tue, 10 Jul 2012 00:51:45 GMT

XXXX — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 00:51:45 GMT

nansk:
名星妈妈:
Tried many times, he simply not interested. Just walk away.....hard and soft appoach method,not working. I did flash cards in numbers and alphabets, he looks clueless.....

Imho, flash cards are not a good way to teach a child to read words. It is okay for teaching a child to remember numbers. The best way to teach a child to read is through phonics. I used the free http://www.blendphonics.org/ booklet. If you are flashing the letters of the alphabet, you should teach the first sound of each letter instead or (or in addition to) the name of the letter.

Take it nice and slow. Only 2-3 mins to begin with. Then slowly, over the next one-two years, increase the duration to up to 10 mins. My dd learnt to read at 4.75 years. So there is still time.

Firstly to the OP, do you know any young adult that cannot read? They all get there in the end, and I'd suggest that the age 7-10 is more important for this than 4.

My daughter, now 5, was behind on her English reading for a while, which was a little embarrassing for me as I'm British. Her kindergarten gave us the first feedback about it at the mid-year PTA. She was way behind where I'd expected her to be and we hadn't spent enough time with her (I foolishly thought she was getting enough from kindergarten).

So I spent an hour or so putting together a very simple Powerpoint slideshow for her, using her favourite colours etc. After a slow start the first few times, she now reads the whole sentences which are wrapped round the \"sight\" word being tested. She was uninspired by the classroom delivery (lists of words!) by her K1 teachers and is much more keen when she gets to press F5 and launch the slideshow with its pink coloured text, sound effects and sentences that I wrote which relate to her life.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Tue, 03 Jul 2012 02:05:05 GMT

nansk — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 02:05:05 GMT

名星妈妈:
Tried many times, he simply not interested. Just walk away.....hard and soft appoach method,not working. I did flash cards in numbers and alphabets, he looks clueless.....

Imho, flash cards are not a good way to teach a child to read words. It is okay for teaching a child to remember numbers. The best way to teach a child to read is through phonics. I used the free http://www.blendphonics.org/ booklet. If you are flashing the letters of the alphabet, you should teach the first sound of each letter instead or (or in addition to) the name of the letter.

Take it nice and slow. Only 2-3 mins to begin with. Then slowly, over the next one-two years, increase the duration to up to 10 mins. My dd learnt to read at 4.75 years. So there is still time.

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:16:16 GMT

adoreachild — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:16:16 GMT

As he is of only 4 years old so, try to be friendly with him. If you want to make him read properly then you will also have to read with him. Draw pictures with him and also play with him. Then only he will follow your instructions :rahrah: .

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:32:12 GMT

.08977.08977.08977.08977 — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:32:12 GMT

Tried many times, he simply not interested. Just walk away…hard and soft appoach method,not working. I did flash cards in numbers and alphabets, he looks clueless…

Reply to How to get my 4years old son to be more focus on Mon, 02 Jul 2012 05:41:14 GMT

nansk — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 05:41:14 GMT

I think his behaviour is quite appropriate for his age. What would you prefer - that he knows the work or that he shows the work? If it is the former, then just do the worksheets with him orally for now. With age, his patience and perseverance will improve.