beanbear:

I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.


I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.

Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.

I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.

For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.

All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.

I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.

beanbear:

I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.


I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.

Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.

I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.

For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.

All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.

I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.

beanbear:

Breadandmuffins:

Hi bean bear


I like your post. May I know how old are yr kids? Do you find them asking to play more often than once a week as they grow older? My worry is that when they are older, they may slowly play more often and became an addiction given that such games can be very addictive.

My ds1 is good at following the limits I set and will stop when the time is up. My ds2 , 6 yr old, on the other hand cannot control himself. During school days , they don't play any computer games excep when we are at friends house or when we hv friends over. They played only during school hol. Ds1 has started to ask to play more frequently such as during school days since p4. Ds2 will ask to play a few times each week so I let him play some educational stuff on CDROM.

My 2 older kids are in Upper Primary and DS3 is in P1. I found that when they were younger, they will test the boundaries, try to use extra 5mins here and there even though I've a timer. At upper primary, they are keenly aware that Mummy follows through on consequences so it's easier for the older kids to exercise self-control. When they suffer the consequences which came swiftly, they soon realize that the cost is not worth it because they get banned for 3 days or a week. When my DD2 misused her phone this year and was not able to exercise self-control, she was banned for one month!! She learnt that lesson very well. It's not worth it. But interestingly, my kids were not resentful of us punishing them. They took the punishment in their stride and we were on good terms.

I'm more relaxed during school holidays. My kids get to play Wii a few times a week. You should see my children's grateful faces and how they thanked me when I alllowed them 1 hr on wii or on PC. They are clear these are privileges and not rights.

My oldest DS will ask to play computer every week but because it's PSLE year, he doesn't always get it every week. He must demonstrate he's been disciplined in his revision.

I'm anticipating that when secondary school comes, DS will need to use the computer more often because of school work. I've not problems with that. We're very strict on internet use. I don't even have a facebook account, nor twitter. Call me archaic. I believe in old-fashioned face to face conversations to build relationships. KSP is the only forum I participate in and my children also know that.

As long as I maintain open communication with my children, I'm expecting they will respect the boundaries I've set up and why I've done it. I make sure that as a family, we do things that are non-technological eg sports, go to the park, watch movies, board games. Very old-fashioned stuff. At the dinner table, it's all about having good conversations - what's on the news, what happened during the day. At night, we read books together, pray together and hug each other. Old-fashioned stuff. Hopefully, these memories will carry through to when they are in Secondary school when my kids have more freedom but they will remember the family things we do together.

I really believe that kids turn to the computer or tech toys as a substitute for family love. When these toys are the babysitter for the kids, after a while, these toys become an addiction. My kids will prefer to go to the beach and pool with the family, much more than playing these toys because we do it frequently enough for them to experience these outings as fun and enjoyable. I think when families do these things infrequently that children reject going out with their parents after a while.

Breadandmuffins:

Hi bean bear


I like your post. May I know how old are yr kids? Do you find them asking to play more often than once a week as they grow older? My worry is that when they are older, they may slowly play more often and became an addiction given that such games can be very addictive.

My ds1 is good at following the limits I set and will stop when the time is up. My ds2 , 6 yr old, on the other hand cannot control himself. During school days , they don't play any computer games excep when we are at friends house or when we hv friends over. They played only during school hol. Ds1 has started to ask to play more frequently such as during school days since p4. Ds2 will ask to play a few times each week so I let him play some educational stuff on CDROM.

jeslinc:

Oops I feel like I'm one those bad moms who keep my dd occupied with gadgets especially when driving or at big dinner group when adults are more into the dinner conversations.


Sometimes they serve as a distraction when we mummys need free hands, but too much distraction isn't surely a good thing. Pros and cons I guess.

beanbear:

I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.


I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.

Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.

I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.

For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.

All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.

I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.

beanbear:

I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.


I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.

Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.

I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.

For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.

All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.

I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.

beanbear:

I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.


I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.

Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.

I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.

For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.

All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.

I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.

cherrygal:

Yah, my in-laws thought my kids were deprived and even offered to buy them an ipad when she saw her other daughter-in-law whip out the ipad for her 2yo son.


DH and I immediately said no thanks... hahaha...

We dun mind TV - educational programmes - but the ipad, iphone, xbox, online games etc are a no-no to us coz they can cause addiction.