JennyP:

smurf:

totally agree wth u. but hor, easier said than done. sometimes, when u r mad, u would think of nothing except anger. :stupid:

Yes, i agree too, i try to calm down too, but i cannot, too angry and keep thinking how come when i was small i never retort my parent, but now why so different, i keep quarrel with my son every day, sometime i really feel very tire and hate to fetch him :?:

Best regards
Jenny

Eagle-Ladybird:

In my DD's class (N2), there's this boy, Boy A, who has a tendency to \"attack\" other kids unprovoked. He will for no reason, pushed, hit and even bite other kids around. The teachers are aware of his behaviour, and is watching him closely.


Just yesterday, he landed his denture marks on my DD's back :x . According to the teacher, they were forming a train-line with hands over the shoulder of the person in front of you, and the \"attcak\" happened without ny DD even knowing it.

Wanted to ask my DD to punch him in the face, or break his leg :!: . But of course, NATO. My DD took it quite well, knowing it's wrong, and was not \"intimidated by it\". She cried, and yelled at him. Teacher intervened and so on.

My wife spoke with the teachers today, and they suspect some \"neglect\" at home. Apparently some tell-tale signs of parents not \"involved\" for whatever reason. Letters from school can be \"undelivered\" for days, and left \"unopened\" in the school bag. They suspected that he's just traped in this little body of frustration and unable to express properly or did not know how do - and ended up with such aggression.

So my anger died down, and felt for this little guy.

mummy of 2:

I hope you will not take offence at what I'm going to say next. This is my personal opinion and I'm not saying you have to do the same.

If I were in your sitaution, I would try to minimise conatct between my nephew and DS, because I want to protect him from unnecessary injury/harm, and to reduce the tendency to imitate undesirable behaviour. I did that before when I realise DS1 was picking up undesirable behaviour from a friend's kid. i stopped inviting my friend to come over for awhile. Also told DS1 that the behaviour is wrong, and he should not do it.

Kids learn very fast, whether the role model is good or bad. Of cos we can't eliminate all negative behaviour as it is impossible. As much as we can teach our kids what's right and what's wrong, it's only natural to imitate. So an alternative is to reduce the influence.

Having said that, it's tough in your case as it's your sister's kid. Mine is easier cos it's only a friend.

Funz:

I am having the same problem. Only thing is the aggressive one is my nephew(3+yrs old) and the victim usually my DS.


Just to cite certain incidents,

DS was happily singing a new song he learned in school. Nephew who was walking beside him suddenly turned and punched DS in the chest. I asked him why he did that and his answer was I don't like that song. My sis was there to scold him.

DS and nephew were happily playing and talking and suddenly I heard DS howling in pain. Upon checking, we realised that my nephew bit DS in his penis. This incident was really bad. BIL immediately dragged my nephew aside and gave him a really bad caning. DS, penis was swollen and slightly bruised for a few days.

As both my kids and my nephew attend the same childcare, and I will send and pick them up from the childcare, the contact with my nephew is very high. So the incidents of DS being attacked by my nephew is very high as well.

Both my Sis and I have been trying to correct his aggressive behaviour, we kept telling him it is preferable to talk about how he feels if he is unhappy rather then attack the person. According to my sis, it was only with DS and his own elder sis that he is like that. But recently, the teachers have been reporting that he is hitting out at his classmates as well.

And due to all these attacks, I see DS behaving in a rather aggressive manner with my nephew too. Instead of telling his cousin off if he is not happy with what is said or done, he chose to hit him instead. And he is also starting to display this tendency towards DD and my helper.

This aggressive tendency in my nephew did not just happen overnight. He was like that from the time he was able to engage in play and DS has been scratched, pinched, punched, pushed and slapped countless times. We have tried many methods, we tried distracting him when he gets worked up but he is one kid who will remember the incident and find a chance to still hit back at the person for whatever happened earlier. Canning, talking to, giving him methods to control his anger all did not work out too well.

DH thinks I should not let the 2 of them play together too often but I do not agree, I feel that their play needs more adult supervision but DS will have to learn to handle his cousin better. As for my nephew, I will of course discipline him if he misbehaves when my sis and bil are not around but if they are around, they are the ones who will have to correct his behaviour. Our challenge will be to make sure that DS does not adopt the same behaviour. And hope that as my nephew matures & with his parents guidance, he will learn to control himself better.

JennyP:

Yes, i agree too, i try to calm down too, but i cannot, too angry and keep thinking how come when i was small i never retort my parent, but now why so different, i keep quarrel with my son every day, sometime i really feel very tire and hate to fetch him :?:

Best regards
Jenny

smurf:

totally agree wth u. but hor, easier said than done. sometimes, when u r mad, u would think of nothing except anger. :stupid:

smurf:

totally agree wth u. but hor, easier said than done. sometimes, when u r mad, u would think of nothing except anger. :stupid:

Kathong:

Hi there, can someone help me out...?


My son is 3 yrs 6 mths. Recently, he has been very aggressives at home, at grandparents place but ok in school. He will shout for things that he wants, cry aloud and throw trantrum. He even beat whoever that tries to calm him down from all this nonsense. The situation ended up with me angry, scolding and beat him at his hand or leg.

I know the logic that i should not beat him for beating others. But, i think this is the only way to stop him for doing so. My hubby mentioned abt canning him. But i dun think is a good idea. i think tit wil hurt him physically and emotionally.

Pls help...