concern2:

Funz:

I was brought up with these practises. Must give mum and dad allowance, must be home for dinner at least once a week, must celebrate CNY with family, must be present for any formal family gatherings which usually means death anniversaries, qing ming.

These traditions are good to keep. Complication often arises when members choose different religion, or start thinking all these as old-fashioned. That is when values start to differ and the 'system' starts to experience hiccups. In such cases, the individual's character within the family is tested, and you start seeing some true colors showing. Good or bad , but it sure makes things less than ideal and less straight forward.

Funz:

I was brought up with these practises. Must give mum and dad allowance, must be home for dinner at least once a week, must celebrate CNY with family, must be present for any formal family gatherings which usually means death anniversaries, qing ming.

Funz:

I was brought up with these practises. Must give mum and dad allowance, must be home for dinner at least once a week, must celebrate CNY with family, must be present for any formal family gatherings which usually means death anniversaries, qing ming.

Funz:

I was brought up with these practises. Must give mum and dad allowance, must be home for dinner at least once a week, must celebrate CNY with family, must be present for any formal family gatherings which usually means death anniversaries, qing ming.


These will be some of the norms that I wish to pass on to my kids. Especially the once a week dinners. As for the allowance for parents, I will assume that it will be within their means. Of course if they are having financial difficulties, they have to take care of their own family first and stop giving us that allowance. And we as parents will definitely be happy to extend any help if they really need them.

concern2:

sleepy:

[quote=\"Lilac66\"]
But for SAHMs, do you still give any allowance to your parents?

Yes I do.
My parents said only sons need to provide. Furthermore, I'm not working.
I disagreed. Must give la, token sum also better than nothing. I feel guilty if never contribute.

However, my brother provides the biggest chunk. I'm glad he can afford and even more grateful that he is willing to provide.
I'm a small contributor compared to him but a bigger contributor than my youngest brother

sleepy:

Lilac66:

But for SAHMs, do you still give any allowance to your parents?

Yes I do.
My parents said only sons need to provide. Furthermore, I'm not working.
I disagreed. Must give la, token sum also better than nothing. I feel guilty if never contribute.

However, my brother provides the biggest chunk. I'm glad he can afford and even more grateful that he is willing to provide.
I'm a small contributor compared to him but a bigger contributor than my youngest brother

Lilac66:

But for SAHMs, do you still give any allowance to your parents?

keroppi:

dophinsiah, hugs to you. :grphug: Why your mum like that? You spoil her lah.


Some of the cleaners I know make only $600 per month and they are able still survive on it (that's my perception though).

keroppi:

Lilac66:

Aiyoh Nebbermind, everwhere you appear, topic cannot be serious liao.. I was trying my best to keep a straight face and discuss. :slapshead:

Sorry, Lilac66. :imsorry:

Will try to be serious. Each time I see that Maple Leaf ... reminds me of the times when I used to pick them up and use as bookmarks :please:

dolphinsiah:

I have already planned and put my children and elderly parents welfare...if tomorrow I am gone.... :censored: :censored:

I have placed a lump sum of money to my mom's retirement account, which she can withdraw every month about SGD600...
This sum can last her until her 80s.... :roll:

I feel bad used to give her SGD2k....but now I earn ...4 person spend...so cannot afford to give her so much....

But SGD600 to survive in Singapore is not possible.... :gloomy:
But my mom I know she has keep a substantial amount in the FD/stocks... :moneyflies:


I told her about it and she rebutted me....
\"What !!! You are only going to support me until by 80s....I want to live until 100... \"\" :spank:
\"You only want me to live until 80s only....blah...blah....\" :spank:

That moment I felt like an idiot....
Cannot blame Mom... :scared:

She is getting old , uneducated...so money :moneyflies: :moneyflies: is her security.... :love:
She had a very unhappy childhood...was sold to work as a servant when she was 6....

Aged Parents can be so sensitive..... :?:

I put my kids and parents welfare first....
I now fear my retirement....really drain out... :snooze: :snooze:

Nebbermind:

keroppi:

[quote=\"Nebbermind\"]
even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

alamak, you undressed like that walk around the house all day, cheap cheap also nobody wants to rent. :rotflmao: Better think of alternative income.

Lilac66:

Aiyoh Nebbermind, everwhere you appear, topic cannot be serious liao.. I was trying my best to keep a straight face and discuss. :slapshead:

Nebbermind:

keroppi:

[quote=\"Nebbermind\"]
even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

alamak, you undressed like that walk around the house all day, cheap cheap also nobody wants to rent. :rotflmao: Better think of alternative income.

Nebbermind:

that's why must at least have a roof over our head...better if have extra 2 rooms...


even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

So like I said, if kids still unmarried (say, >30 yrs old) and living together, must supplement household and pay rent.

Some kids very act-blur...outside buy apt, rent out and continue to live with parents. Collect rent but give nothing to parents who are putting them up!!

keroppi:

Nebbermind:

even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

alamak, you undressed like that walk around the house all day, cheap cheap also nobody wants to rent. :rotflmao: Better think of alternative income.

Oppsgal:

Cheap cheap rent out also must cover the utilities costs. What happens if kids cannot manage to find a job, or lose the job?

:imdrowning:

Lilac66:

dolphinsiah:

If parents nowadays , do not expect their children to take care of them when they are old....


Why in the first place did I want to get marry and have kids.....I always ask myself.... :siao:
20 years ago being a naive lady, nobody tell me being somebody's wife/mother is not a bed of roses....


But I hold myself responsible to bring up my 2 kids......

I guess this is the place where I can only vent my anger....

I always tell my girls do not marry for the sake of marrying...
Do not give birth for the sake of giving....

Bringing up a child means losing your freedom....sometimes even yourself...

dolpinsiah,:snuggles:

But for SAHMs, do you still give any allowance to your parents?

Nebbermind:

even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

Nebbermind:

that's why must at least have a roof over our head...better if have extra 2 rooms...


even if cheap cheap rent out, still can have a few hundred $$$ and need not rely too much on our kids.

So like I said, if kids still unmarried (say, >30 yrs old) and living together, must supplement household and pay rent.

Some kids very act-blur...outside buy apt, rent out and continue to live with parents. Collect rent but give nothing to parents who are putting them up!!

keroppi:

Oppsgal:

Have one kid then cannot push away responsibility, as no siblings to push to.

Still can. That is why the Maintenance of Parents Act is in place.