Would you keep her?

Reply to Would you keep her? on Sat, 15 Sep 2012 02:38:37 GMT

Blessedwife — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 02:38:37 GMT

Hope you get a good replacement maid soon

Reply to Would you keep her? on Fri, 14 Sep 2012 03:39:35 GMT

nms1 — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 03:39:35 GMT

Sun_2010:
Hiaweh:
Actually there have been occasions where she took our kindness for granted but we just let it pass coz it's a small matter. But this time she really went over the limit and it compromise our safety although our place has security surveillance.

We still have time to find a replacement but it's just that we might not have enough time to train her and for the kids to get used to the new maid before my bb comes along. And also it's very tiring for me to run the household all alone given my current condition. But we have decided to let her go but now it's whether we want to hang on to her a little longer until we find a replacement.
If she is behaving well now, keep her till you find replacement.
Are you a SAHM? Then Take the door keys and access card from her. Hand those to her only when it is necessary for her to go out and then take it back.

While I do trust my maid, every night after checking the main door locked, I take the keys and keep then in my bedroom drawers. Just as a precaution. And when I go on vacations, i add another lock on the door whose keys she never has access to. So no one can have a complete set of duplicate keys to my house. I think so easy for a maid to be manupilated into giving her key to a guy who may get a duplicate set. Maybe I am paranoid. :siao:

It is a safety risk to lock the doors and conceal the keys at night. What if a fire breaks out? Do you want to be searching around in your drawer in a smoke-filled flat? The keys should be in or next to the door at all times. I have a friend who was nearly trapped inside a burning flat for that reason.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Fri, 14 Sep 2012 00:41:31 GMT

Hiaweh — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 00:41:31 GMT

I am thinking of trying a Phillipino for my next candidate. I guess with every nationality there's always their own set of problems. We will be sending the current one off today so we will be without help for a while until the new one comes. But dh said it's more important to have a peace of mind than some minor inconvenience and of course :moneyflies:

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 16:15:27 GMT

Power Puff — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 16:15:27 GMT

My second helper, a Filipina, interacted well with my son (before my younger girl was born) and was efficient in housework. She was previously working in Kuwait (where there was a chauffeur and gardener too). We thought we could leave her alone to do some chores and get rest while our family went out. One weekend afternoon, we came back earlier than usual and guess what? We saw a well-dressed, perfumed woman coming out of the other lift walking towards our main gate. Our helper was there opening the gate and smiling away. Then she noticed us and had no choice but to introduce her sister (also a dw working for a Caucasian family in Bt Timah) to us. From that time onwards, we kept our keys. Everytime we went out without her, we would lock up the gate (but of course, that didn’t prevent her from sneaking out our things through the gate to pass to her sister (and goodness hwho else) - yes, just like how one of the forummer’s experienced earlier - a few of my clothes, in fact one of my already so few existing dresses which I kept for special occasions eg. son’s baptism, wedding reception etc. I didn’t realise the pilfering until she left and I was unpacking my clothes to put in the wardrobe. We were preparing to move to a new place and I was in my 2nd trimester when she said her husband was unfaithful and she was worried about her daughters being left with him so she wanted to go back. She was emotional - spent a lot of time crying, sniffing in her room at night…made me fed up. Anyway, despite my persuasion, she insisted on going so I said she could leave, but only if she paid for her own airfare back. I bought her a ticket, and deducted the cost form her salary. She later claimed that it was unfair, and expensive (it was during June school hols) so I told her it was even MORE UNFAIR TO ME as she was the one breaking the contract and I had to waste much time and money to find another helper, in my pregnant condition, and just when we were preparing to move house. She changed her mind a few days later asking if she could stay. I said no. On the day she left, a whole entourage consisting of her sister and friends came to send her off. Wow. What a short but wonderful holiday she must have had in Singapore.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:05:14 GMT

autumnbronze — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:05:14 GMT

My ex maid came down here on WP on the pretext of contacting her boyfriend, a local, whom she hooked up with in her previous contract with another employer.

Even after discovering that he was involved with another maid, she still persisted. Right down to the day she checked in at the airport, she kept looking out for him, telling me that he had promised to meet her there. I told her to get her butt in to the immigration or I will call security.

She skived, she lied, she went through our stuff, you name it, she did it. My skirt that I wore for my DS's first birthday is missing. It has great sentimental value. She had no off day, yet she conspired to meet him, possibly even bringing him into my flat on Sundays when we left her alone to do work.

She was either absolutely fearless or indifferent.

I was really under tremendous stress then :sad:

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:41:48 GMT

hquek — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:41:48 GMT

I nearly fell off my chair in shock…hee hee

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:23:53 GMT

peapot — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:23:53 GMT

Oops I mean my ex-colleague’s maid. To be honest we did wonder whether he was the one who got her pregnant at first haha…

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:21:34 GMT

peapot — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:21:34 GMT

Power Puff:
I understand your present diffivult condition. That the maid has compromised your family safety intentionally leaving the main door umlocked and hoping to sneak back into the house is enough reason for me to immediately terminate her employment. You'd never know what else she could be sneaking out of or into the house.

It was a good thing you found out before you delivered! Find a local part-time nanny in the meantime while looking for a new helper. The current one may take greater advantage of your vulnerable condition and heavy reliance on her to also start demanding this and that.

hquek could be right that the maid might not have gone out but stayed within the compound or even block. Just to share with you..my cousin who lives in Malaysia was also puzzled how his maid who was married with kids got pregnant despite staying in most of the the time. Found out later that she had been having an affair with the compound's security guard. They had their nocturnal adventures in the guard's rest room within the compound.

Your story reminds me of my ex-colleague who also got pregnant even though no offday. However she uses the excuse of washing car for sir.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:07:12 GMT

autumnbronze — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:07:12 GMT

Peace of mind should be your utmost consideration.

As one poster mentioned, you can get a nanny and a part time maid to help out.

All the best!! :hugs:

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:04:00 GMT

hquek — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:04:00 GMT

if you know who is on the management committee and on good terms with them, go and ask them to help expedite, i find it's helpful.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:02:45 GMT

Hiaweh — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:02:45 GMT

I have approached the management regarding the cctv but they have yet to come back to me. I think regardless of whether she’s in the compound or not, our safety was compromised and more so during the times when my dh is not in town.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:52:07 GMT

Power Puff — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:52:07 GMT

I understand your present diffivult condition. That the maid has compromised your family safety intentionally leaving the main door umlocked and hoping to sneak back into the house is enough reason for me to immediately terminate her employment. You’d never know what else she could be sneaking out of or into the house.

It was a good thing you found out before you delivered! Find a local part-time nanny in the meantime while looking for a new helper. The current one may take greater advantage of your vulnerable condition and heavy reliance on her to also start demanding this and that.

hquek could be right that the maid might not have gone out but stayed within the compound or even block. Just to share with you…my cousin who lives in Malaysia was also puzzled how his maid who was married with kids got pregnant despite staying in most of the the time. Found out later that she had been having an affair with the compound’s security guard. They had their nocturnal adventures in the guard’s rest room within the compound.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:26:04 GMT

hquek — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:26:04 GMT

It sounds like you are leaving in a condo, and based on what’s been shared, I kinda think she may be in the block all that time. If you want to know what went on, and the lobbies have cameras, go to the management office and ask. They should have cctv footage - if she was seen exiting the lobby, you know she went out; else it could be someone who came IN. In that case, you may like to consider if the safety of your family is worth it.

All the best to your impending delivery!

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:05:16 GMT

POA Teacher — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:05:16 GMT

straffan23:
I think you can approach this calmly when your DH is back. Just sit her down and ask her nicely. Maybe she did something innocent - like going out to cry (homesick); or to borrow someone's phone? Instead of saying you saw your front door unlocked, can you bluff and say that you have a camera at the front door. You know who comes in and out and when. So if she is up to mischief, she will think twice. Or, if it makes it more believable, you can say your neighbor has a camera on their front door and it caught her going out?

Sorry, but you are a gullible one aren't you?
Going out to cry? borrow someone's phone? ... in the dead of the night?

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:51:53 GMT

Hiaweh — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:51:53 GMT

Sun_2010:
Hiaweh:
Actually there have been occasions where she took our kindness for granted but we just let it pass coz it's a small matter. But this time she really went over the limit and it compromise our safety although our place has security surveillance.

We still have time to find a replacement but it's just that we might not have enough time to train her and for the kids to get used to the new maid before my bb comes along. And also it's very tiring for me to run the household all alone given my current condition. But we have decided to let her go but now it's whether we want to hang on to her a little longer until we find a replacement.
If she is behaving well now, keep her till you find replacement.
Are you a SAHM? Then Take the door keys and access card from her. Hand those to her only when it is necessary for her to go out and then take it back.

While I do trust my maid, every night after checking the main door locked, I take the keys and keep then in my bedroom drawers. Just as a precaution. And when I go on vacations, i add another lock on the door whose keys she never has access to. So no one can have a complete set of duplicate keys to my house. I think so easy for a maid to be manupilated into giving her key to a guy who may get a duplicate set. Maybe I am paranoid. :siao:

Yes she is still behaving normally but dunno when she will be up to her mischief again. We dun use keys in the estate. All with key access card so even if she doesn't bring our key card, she can still go out but that means leaving our door unlock so that she can come in again without making too much noise. But the only question is that if she had left the lobby then she won't be able to come in again because lobby need card to access unless someone else is also coming in.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:45:49 GMT

Sun_2010 — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:45:49 GMT

Hiaweh:
Actually there have been occasions where she took our kindness for granted but we just let it pass coz it's a small matter. But this time she really went over the limit and it compromise our safety although our place has security surveillance.

We still have time to find a replacement but it's just that we might not have enough time to train her and for the kids to get used to the new maid before my bb comes along. And also it's very tiring for me to run the household all alone given my current condition. But we have decided to let her go but now it's whether we want to hang on to her a little longer until we find a replacement.

If she is behaving well now, keep her till you find replacement.
Are you a SAHM? Then Take the door keys and access card from her. Hand those to her only when it is necessary for her to go out and then take it back.

While I do trust my maid, every night after checking the main door locked, I take the keys and keep then in my bedroom drawers. Just as a precaution. And when I go on vacations, i add another lock on the door whose keys she never has access to. So no one can have a complete set of duplicate keys to my house. I think so easy for a maid to be manupilated into giving her key to a guy who may get a duplicate set. Maybe I am paranoid. :siao:

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:25:11 GMT

Hiaweh — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:25:11 GMT

Actually there have been occasions where she took our kindness for granted but we just let it pass coz it’s a small matter. But this time she really went over the limit and it compromise our safety although our place has security surveillance.

We still have time to find a replacement but it’s just that we might not have enough time to train her and for the kids to get used to the new maid before my bb comes along. And also it’s very tiring for me to run the household all alone given my current condition. But we have decided to let her go but now it’s whether we want to hang on to her a little longer until we find a replacement.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:00:42 GMT

peapot — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:00:42 GMT

Hi hiaweh, I will let her go immediately. She left the door unlocked jeopardise your family safety and believe me there will be a second time. Infact inform agent to let her know her mistake so that she won’t repeat it in the new employer’s house. I will always send bad maids back so that they won’t have any chance to try their tricks on new employers.

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 05:09:39 GMT

verykiasumummy — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 05:09:39 GMT

but whatever it is, discuss with your dh and see what he thinks… maybe he has better solution for u since he knows u better…

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 05:08:57 GMT

verykiasumummy — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 05:08:57 GMT

hi hiaweh,

my experience is that i’m always slapped in my own face whenever i give chances… u may think that since nothing happen, u should give chance to her… exactly what i have thought initially… but when things happen, that’s too late…

i can understand the dilemma u r having since u cant afford to lose a helping hand… i suggest that u let her go and look for a replacement… if money is not a problem, hire a nanny after ur birth and therefore the new maid with the nanny will be tiding u through the whole period…

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 04:17:44 GMT

straffan23 — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 04:17:44 GMT

I think you can approach this calmly when your DH is back. Just sit her down and ask her nicely. Maybe she did something innocent - like going out to cry (homesick); or to borrow someone’s phone? Instead of saying you saw your front door unlocked, can you bluff and say that you have a camera at the front door. You know who comes in and out and when. So if she is up to mischief, she will think twice. Or, if it makes it more believable, you can say your neighbor has a camera on their front door and it caught her going out?

Reply to Would you keep her? on Thu, 13 Sep 2012 02:24:45 GMT

mamago — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 02:24:45 GMT

Hiaweh:
My maid has been with us for 6 months. 2 days ago I caught her sneaking out of the house at midnight and my guess is that she came back between 4-5am. I have no idea what she did or where she went and she didn't bring her hp nor the key access card with her so my front main door was left unlock the whole time she was out.

I have not confronted her on this issue yet and still pretending that I have no idea of her \"adventure\" coz my dh is out of town. So far she has been doing what is required of her and my kids are ok with her, although lacking in initiative and sometimes shoddy work.

I am expecting another kid in 2 months and we really need an extra pair of hands as I have 2 other children an the younger being only 15 months.

Would you keep her until another replacement comes or let her go immediately?

Should let her go immediately, since you are in a position that you can't confront her nor can you seek verification to her whereabout when she sneaked out. Sneaking out without consent and proper document for identification has already breached the employment contract.

Your family safety is at stake, no one knows what she is capable of, next she might invite some strangers into your house, 2ndly she has not taking your household safety at heart by leaving your door unlocked in the middle of the night...

Please phone the agent to seek a replacement asap...