Crying 5year old son

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 01 Nov 2012 12:22:44 GMT

tearsofjoy — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 12:22:44 GMT

ruohoo97:
Ran1977:
Hi parents,

I want to as k if you have ever encountered this situation before - my 5yr old son is an extreme crybaby. Tell him can't do this - he cries; can't do that - he cries. for example, can't go playground - he cries; can't eat sweet now - he cries...
It's not enough that he cries, he whines and complains over the littlest things (like just an old grandmother and he is ONLY 5!!!).
Worse if he does a mistake he cries...yesterday he fought with a few friends in the bus and while the aunty bus told me, he ended up crying...even the aunty bus told him \"You made a mistake, why are u crying\"...he said that he knows that mummy will give him a punishment cos of this...

How do any of you parent cope with this. I am a FTWM and am pulling hairs already cos of his attitude...after a hard day's work, it is very stressful taking care of such a kid...Any advice given will be extremely helpful.. :please:
My DS3 was a crybaby, really bad one. He is P4 now, even now he still has tendency to whine over small matter, though much better.

While I was tried to find out why he is so crybaby, I also came across many theories and advises...

But one thing worked for me, NEVER encourage him being a crybaby, some says crybaby is very sensitive so we parents must be sensitive toward them, no, I found if I consoled him once, he would cry more often; I used to tell him that if he wants to get something by using crying, he will never get it. So I just hardened my heart let him CRY till he stopped.

When he was a bit older, in primary school, I realized that sometime he cried because he could not express his feeling well. So I asked him to write it down, or draw a picture. I bought him a beautiful sketch book, and some cute stickers, like sad face, happy face, so on. Whenever something made him upset, I would signal him to write or draw. That worked wonder. He cried less and less, instead, I received many ANGER letters, mostly started with \"Dearest Mummy, I am very very sad because....\" Later by later, you know what, one day, I received a love letter from him.

Now this young man, he writes me love letter regularly, so much MORE often than my DH. Wish your son be better soon.:celebrate:

This is so sweet!

My 4+ boy is not a cry baby, but on the occasions when he does cry, my DH and I will encourage him to articulate his feelings and why he cried after he calms down. Personally I feel it's important for kids' emotional growth to be able to express why they feel what they feel.

Thanks for sharing Ruohoo! Yours is another avenue which we can explore with DS to express his feelings.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:27:14 GMT

Kostum50 — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:27:14 GMT

Hi,

every babies like something different.Ex:playing,music,http://www.karneval-fasching-kostuem-kostueme.de/kostueme-kinder.html,and other things we can use for babies.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:46:27 GMT

Imami — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:46:27 GMT

ruohoo97:

My DS3 was a crybaby, really bad one. He is P4 now, even now he still has tendency to whine over small matter, though much better.

While I was tried to find out why he is so crybaby, I also came across many theories and advises...

But one thing worked for me, NEVER encourage him being a crybaby, some says crybaby is very sensitive so we parents must be sensitive toward them, no, I found if I consoled him once, he would cry more often; I used to tell him that if he wants to get something by using crying, he will never get it. So I just hardened my heart let him CRY till he stopped.

When he was a bit older, in primary school, I realized that sometime he cried because he could not express his feeling well. So I asked him to write it down, or draw a picture. I bought him a beautiful sketch book, and some cute stickers, like sad face, happy face, so on. Whenever something made him upset, I would signal him to write or draw. That worked wonder. He cried less and less, instead, I received many ANGER letters, mostly started with \"Dearest Mummy, I am very very sad because....\" Later by later, you know what, one day, I received a love letter from him.

Now this young man, he writes me love letter regularly, so much MORE often than my DH. Wish your son be better soon.:celebrate:

haiyo... So sweet.

Mine is not a cry baby. He cries of course, but a lot lesser than most kid's at his age, I guessed. Even when when he needed stitches for a laceration, he was not crying (because of the location and his age, the surgeon decided he could not be administered with anesthesia. Only numbing glue was used). So yup, u get the idea when I say \"he's not a cry baby\".

Yours is a very good idea which I would introduce to my child, to give him another channel to express himself. :goodpost:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:00:24 GMT

angel64 — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:00:24 GMT

Hi.

I have similar problems. Both me and my hubb has rhinitus and nasal allergy. Me added with sensitive skin which the knuckles on my fingers can get so itchy that my scratching will result into blisters on the skin and the skin will thicken. Seen skin dr, only steroid cream and anti itch med.

Yes moisturising is very important for all these area. I use shea butter very rich ones, pure 100% and apply to these area. I can see the area get less red and itch also subsided. I seldom use the steriod cream as I know it will has adverse effect.

For bath, I use very mild and yet antiseptic wash. Originally I buy from skin clinic. it was so expensive. I realised it was a german product. I can bulk buy in at a lower price. If any mummies are keen to try this. pls PM me.

My kids inherited our trade mark. No2 boy, very easily suseptible to marks on legs. If mosquito bites him, the marks can swell and took a long time to subside. I use the same stellisept to wash him. Use a soft bath sponge and about a 50cents amount of stellisept to wash all his body. It is effective.

As for their nasal allergy, we have to use an anti histamine to control. If not, they get congested nose, coughing non stop at night, as for me, the post nasal drip while I sleep will get me sore throat next day.

This was our finding all these years. Thanks goodness my chronic sore throat is due to nasal allergy … and nothing else. These days, if there is any chronic pain that does not go away have to seek dr checking…

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 23:31:51 GMT

ammonite — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 23:31:51 GMT

Oic. Dust and smoke itself will irritate most people’s nose and lungs. But if you find that they have a chronic sinus problem even in a normal setting then it may be worth checking to see if they are allergic to dustmite or mold. The cleaning guidelines are quite specific for these and the doctors will advise you according to the severity of your child’s allergy. It is a slightly different ballgame.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 12:14:57 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 12:14:57 GMT

ammonite:
Sean wife, your daughters have eczema and sinitus as well? And dustmite allergy? It is a bit of a bind actually. My son is the same and it took us a while to find the right environmental balance for him.

The aircon-sinus link depends on the individual trigger. For those whose lungs are just sensitive to dry air, or has only mold allergy, it is relatively easy to get a handle on. For those with sensitive airway and eczema with dustmite/heat trigger, it is a bit more complicated because the easiest environmental controls contradict.

High humidity encourages dustmite and mold population, so I don't actually want to put a bowl of water in the room. I'm not familar with steam cleaning, but i amwary of not being able to dry the insides properly, and still having to vacuum the dustmite debris off since that is what trigger the allergy, not the dustmite per se.
But aircon on its own can aggravate dry skin and sensitive lungs. Heat and sweating also make them scratch.

One doctor's suggestion to me and which I have been following, is to use the aircon only for an hour or so to cool the room down, and then switch to fans for the night. We have floor fans for each of our kids. Dress lightly and powder. On very hot days, if you must, use the aircon during the day time for a while to mitigate the heat. In any case, the skin doctor, allergist, sinseh, all told me no aircon through the night.

But where his sinus is concerned, the best management plan has been a lot of sunshine and running, along with anti dustmite measures. For his eczema, managing the triggers and keeping him cool through quick showers and cool towels help a lot.

They hv eczema and sensitive airway problem and will cough badly when trigerred with certain food and environment conditions, though I must say that we have not really nailed down to what exactly those allergens are.... At one point of time we were thinking of doing allergy testing but did not proceed in the end... We do observe that they will cough badly in dusty and smoky places and have been trying to keep their bedroom as clean as possible including having a air purifier in their room... So far we have been keeping their eczema under control with lots of moisturiser but when it's get too warm they will start to scratch themselves even when they sleep. ...ya really not easy to find the correct balance in the environment to suit their needs....

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:52:03 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:52:03 GMT

Ran1977:
ruohoo97:
[quote=\"Ran1977\"]Hi parents,

I want to as k if you have ever encountered this situation before - my 5yr old son is an extreme crybaby. Tell him can't do this - he cries; can't do that - he cries. for example, can't go playground - he cries; can't eat sweet now - he cries...
It's not enough that he cries, he whines and complains over the littlest things (like just an old grandmother and he is ONLY 5!!!).
Worse if he does a mistake he cries...yesterday he fought with a few friends in the bus and while the aunty bus told me, he ended up crying...even the aunty bus told him \"You made a mistake, why are u crying\"...he said that he knows that mummy will give him a punishment cos of this...

How do any of you parent cope with this. I am a FTWM and am pulling hairs already cos of his attitude...after a hard day's work, it is very stressful taking care of such a kid...Any advice given will be extremely helpful.. :please:
My DS3 was a crybaby, really bad one. He is P4 now, even now he still has tendency to whine over small matter, though much better.

While I was tried to find out why he is so crybaby, I also came across many theories and advises...

But one thing worked for me, NEVER encourage him being a crybaby, some says crybaby is very sensitive so we parents must be sensitive toward them, no, I found if I consoled him once, he would cry more often; I used to tell him that if he wants to get something by using crying, he will never get it. So I just hardened my heart let him CRY till he stopped.

When he was a bit older, in primary school, I realized that sometime he cried because he could not express his feeling well. So I asked him to write it down, or draw a picture. I bought him a beautiful sketch book, and some cute stickers, like sad face, happy face, so on. Whenever something made him upset, I would signal him to write or draw. That worked wonder. He cried less and less, instead, I received many ANGER letters, mostly started with \"Dearest Mummy, I am very very sad because....\" Later by later, you know what, one day, I received a love letter from him.

Now this young man, he writes me love letter regularly, so much MORE often than my DH. Wish your son be better soon.:celebrate:

:goodpost:[/quote]I dun need this anymore but I too think this is a :goodpost:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:30:27 GMT

Ran1977 — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:30:27 GMT

ruohoo97:
Ran1977:
Hi parents,

I want to as k if you have ever encountered this situation before - my 5yr old son is an extreme crybaby. Tell him can't do this - he cries; can't do that - he cries. for example, can't go playground - he cries; can't eat sweet now - he cries...
It's not enough that he cries, he whines and complains over the littlest things (like just an old grandmother and he is ONLY 5!!!).
Worse if he does a mistake he cries...yesterday he fought with a few friends in the bus and while the aunty bus told me, he ended up crying...even the aunty bus told him \"You made a mistake, why are u crying\"...he said that he knows that mummy will give him a punishment cos of this...

How do any of you parent cope with this. I am a FTWM and am pulling hairs already cos of his attitude...after a hard day's work, it is very stressful taking care of such a kid...Any advice given will be extremely helpful.. :please:
My DS3 was a crybaby, really bad one. He is P4 now, even now he still has tendency to whine over small matter, though much better.

While I was tried to find out why he is so crybaby, I also came across many theories and advises...

But one thing worked for me, NEVER encourage him being a crybaby, some says crybaby is very sensitive so we parents must be sensitive toward them, no, I found if I consoled him once, he would cry more often; I used to tell him that if he wants to get something by using crying, he will never get it. So I just hardened my heart let him CRY till he stopped.

When he was a bit older, in primary school, I realized that sometime he cried because he could not express his feeling well. So I asked him to write it down, or draw a picture. I bought him a beautiful sketch book, and some cute stickers, like sad face, happy face, so on. Whenever something made him upset, I would signal him to write or draw. That worked wonder. He cried less and less, instead, I received many ANGER letters, mostly started with \"Dearest Mummy, I am very very sad because....\" Later by later, you know what, one day, I received a love letter from him.

Now this young man, he writes me love letter regularly, so much MORE often than my DH. Wish your son be better soon.:celebrate:

:goodpost:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:24:47 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:24:47 GMT

ammonite:
Sean wife, your daughters have eczema and sinitus as well? And dustmite allergy? It is a bit of a bind actually. My son is the same and it took us a while to find the right environmental balance for him.

The aircon-sinus link depends on the individual trigger. For those whose lungs are just sensitive to dry air, or has only mold allergy, it is relatively easy to get a handle on. For those with sensitive airway and eczema with dustmite/heat trigger, it is a bit more complicated because the easiest environmental controls contradict.

High humidity encourages dustmite and mold population, so I don't actually want to put a bowl of water in the room. I'm not familar with steam cleaning, but i amwary of not being able to dry the insides properly, and still having to vacuum the dustmite debris off since that is what trigger the allergy, not the dustmite per se.
But aircon on its own can aggravate dry skin and sensitive lungs. Heat and sweating also make them scratch.

One doctor's suggestion to me and which I have been following, is to use the aircon only for an hour or so to cool the room down, and then switch to fans for the night. We have floor fans for each of our kids. Dress lightly and powder. On very hot days, if you must, use the aircon during the day time for a while to mitigate the heat. In any case, the skin doctor, allergist, sinseh, all told me no aircon through the night.

But where his sinus is concerned, the best management plan has been a lot of sunshine and running, along with anti dustmite measures. For his eczema, managing the triggers and keeping him cool through quick showers and cool towels help a lot.

:goodpost: the part in red...

The steam cleaner is a pressure kettle. It heats water up to 105 degrees and shoots high pressure steam out a nozzle. Mould cannot develop because everytime it is used... everything that is mould or bacteria dies a horrible death.

You may be referring to the water catchment vacuum cleaners. These REALLY have a mould problem. We use Dyson instead for vacuum cleaners... or just a wet cloth so that there is litle displacement of dust.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:18:33 GMT

ammonite — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:18:33 GMT

Ruohoo, this is such lovely advice! Thanks for sharing!

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:16:21 GMT

ruohoo97 — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:16:21 GMT

Ran1977:
Hi parents,

I want to as k if you have ever encountered this situation before - my 5yr old son is an extreme crybaby. Tell him can't do this - he cries; can't do that - he cries. for example, can't go playground - he cries; can't eat sweet now - he cries...
It's not enough that he cries, he whines and complains over the littlest things (like just an old grandmother and he is ONLY 5!!!).
Worse if he does a mistake he cries...yesterday he fought with a few friends in the bus and while the aunty bus told me, he ended up crying...even the aunty bus told him \"You made a mistake, why are u crying\"...he said that he knows that mummy will give him a punishment cos of this...

How do any of you parent cope with this. I am a FTWM and am pulling hairs already cos of his attitude...after a hard day's work, it is very stressful taking care of such a kid...Any advice given will be extremely helpful.. :please:

My DS3 was a crybaby, really bad one. He is P4 now, even now he still has tendency to whine over small matter, though much better.

While I was tried to find out why he is so crybaby, I also came across many theories and advises...

But one thing worked for me, NEVER encourage him being a crybaby, some says crybaby is very sensitive so we parents must be sensitive toward them, no, I found if I consoled him once, he would cry more often; I used to tell him that if he wants to get something by using crying, he will never get it. So I just hardened my heart let him CRY till he stopped.

When he was a bit older, in primary school, I realized that sometime he cried because he could not express his feeling well. So I asked him to write it down, or draw a picture. I bought him a beautiful sketch book, and some cute stickers, like sad face, happy face, so on. Whenever something made him upset, I would signal him to write or draw. That worked wonder. He cried less and less, instead, I received many ANGER letters, mostly started with \"Dearest Mummy, I am very very sad because....\" Later by later, you know what, one day, I received a love letter from him.

Now this young man, he writes me love letter regularly, so much MORE often than my DH. Wish your son be better soon.:celebrate:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:12:29 GMT

ammonite — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 09:12:29 GMT

Sean wife, your daughters have eczema and sinitus as well? And dustmite allergy? It is a bit of a bind actually. My son is the same and it took us a while to find the right environmental balance for him.

The aircon-sinus link depends on the individual trigger. For those whose lungs are just sensitive to dry air, or has only mold allergy, it is relatively easy to get a handle on. For those with sensitive airway and eczema with dustmite/heat trigger, it is a bit more complicated because the easiest environmental controls contradict.

High humidity encourages dustmite and mold population, so I don’t actually want to put a bowl of water in the room. I’m not familar with steam cleaning, but i amwary of not being able to dry the insides properly, and still having to vacuum the dustmite debris off since that is what trigger the allergy, not the dustmite per se.
But aircon on its own can aggravate dry skin and sensitive lungs. Heat and sweating also make them scratch.

One doctor’s suggestion to me and which I have been following, is to use the aircon only for an hour or so to cool the room down, and then switch to fans for the night. We have floor fans for each of our kids. Dress lightly and powder. On very hot days, if you must, use the aircon during the day time for a while to mitigate the heat. In any case, the skin doctor, allergist, sinseh, all told me no aircon through the night.

But where his sinus is concerned, the best management plan has been a lot of sunshine and running, along with anti dustmite measures. For his eczema, managing the triggers and keeping him cool through quick showers and cool towels help a lot.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:47:51 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:47:51 GMT

Problem with DIY is that sometimes we don’t know whether we are doing a good job…in fact the aircon unit is their room is having problem now. It does not seem cold even if we lower the temp to 16-17 degC, so we have to call in the service man this weekend, and it is so expensive…at least $115 just for transport and check only… :skeptical:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:23:33 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:23:33 GMT

sean wife:
Ha, ya off-topic liao…

Anyway, we also started the practice of putting a basin of water in their room…and we also have a Karcher steam vacuum cleaner which the daddy used to vacuum and steam their mattresses, pillows etc and also he will dismantle the aircon and vacuum/steam the inside of it…(no choice, he wants to save money, so DIY). Problem is he is not that regular nowadays, can drag up to a few weeks before I start nagging at him… I don’t think I can handle the big monster machine…hahaa…

Ok ok, better don’t OT too much :spank:

Save money is good what. Virtue!

If aircon is not steam cleaned by 2 week mark, sinus comes back. My old machine went kaput and I waited so long for the Karcher service centre to get new parts that both kids' AND hubby's sinusitis came back, and I had to rush down and get a new machine before their noses dropped off. Again, all sniffliness disappeared.

I put the monster machine on top of a table, then I (or my maid) climb up the ladder with just the nozzle. I'll try and request to mod to split this thread. Might need to give 'em some time 'cos they may be busy at work.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:15:06 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:15:06 GMT

Ha, ya off-topic liao…

Anyway, we also started the practice of putting a basin of water in their room…and we also have a Karcher steam vacuum cleaner which the daddy used to vacuum and steam their mattresses, pillows etc and also he will dismantle the aircon and vacuum/steam the inside of it…(no choice, he wants to save money, so DIY). Problem is he is not that regular nowadays, can drag up to a few weeks before I start nagging at him… I don’t think I can handle the big monster machine…hahaa…

Ok ok, better don’t OT too much :spank:

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:57:03 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:57:03 GMT

I resolved my kids’ sinus problems by steam cleaning the aircon with a Karcher steam cleaner every Monday (or rather… I taught my helper how to do it). Very often, the sinus is linked to mould being blown out of the aircon vents. Our results were dramatic. From the very first day I steam cleaned the aircon blowers in the rooms… NO MORE sinus.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:53:24 GMT

Dora1 — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:53:24 GMT

I think we are a bit :offtopic:

But anyway just to share, both me and DD have eczema and sinus problems. The reason for having blocked nose in aircon is because aircon tend to be too dry. So have a humidifier in the room helps. Actually can just take a basin of water and put near the bed if your room is not very big. There was one time when DD had very serious sinus problem at night. We tried eucalyptus oil (put in those aromatherapy with water circulated). So kill 2 birds with one stone - aromatherapy and humidity. But have to make sure the eucalyptus is of good quality. We used for about 8 months and DD is now ok. We stopped using after she's ok because its very noisy, and the smell of the eucalyptus lingers on all her pyjamas and bedsheets even after washing.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:24:20 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:24:20 GMT

Usually on weekends or when I am at home, I can get them to nap earlier, so they tend to wake up in a better mood…but on normal weekdays, somehow my MIL will insist that they finish the lunch portion which she thinks they should be eating and after eating, must rest before showering…so all in all, it takes a longer time for them to settle down to nap…

I can identify with the part about not daring to wake them up…I have also tried to let them wake up by themselves by leaving the door open…sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t.

Ammonite, how do you ventilate the room to make sure that it is cool enough (so that the ecezema does not act up) and at the same time keep the sinus problem in control? We turn on the aircon when they sleep, but keep it at 25-26 deg C. We have a ceiling fan, but find that they can’t sleep well when the room is not cooled down.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 05:48:39 GMT

ammonite — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 05:48:39 GMT

sean wife:
…a little bit of noise they will wake up, thus disrupting their sleep patterns…and coupled with their sensitive nose and allergy issue, I think sometimes the quality of their sleep affects their mood too…and due to their nasal issue, they have dark eye rings which always make like they are sleep deprived...

hi, one of my sons is like that, and he too has sensitive nose and allergy issue. The pd shone a torch light up his nose and explained to me that it is so swollen inside that an ant would have difficulty crawling up.

The quality of sleep does make a big difference to how he wakes up. We have blackout blinds as well, it's not a bad thing. You have to get a grip on the nasal issue and try following sleep cycles. Like Chen, I do not (actually dare not, haha) wake him up abruptly. I will raise the blinds and stroke his cheek lightly and then leave the room. My husband and mother do not dare to wake him up at all.

Preschoolers sleep cycles are about 90 minutes. So if my son wakes up at 7.30am for whatever reason, he will next wake up \"happily\" by himself at 9am. If he is woken up in the middle of the cycle, he will feel groggy and very tired. You should cut out your daughters' naps, or adjust the length. The body has its own rhythm.

For the nose, other than a strict cleaning routine, sunshine and working up a sweat has been helpful in clearing out the sinuses, along with accupressure. I recently had a bad cold/cough, and for the first time, I could really empathise with how terrible my kid must feel whenever his sinuses are all clogged up.

On days when his sinuses are in tip-top condition and his eczema recedes, he sleeps well and wakes up cheerfully by himself. So on off days, I just try to do what I can to make him more comfortable.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 05:18:25 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 05:18:25 GMT

Thanks Chen and slmkhoo…

Yes, we do have blackout curtains and we draw them shut during their nap times….actually since young, I think we have spoilt them in their sleeping habits…to ensure that they have a good sleep, we try to keep their room dark and quiet as far as possible, maybe that’s why they are quite light sleepers now…a little bit of noise they will wake up, thus disrupting their sleep patterns…and coupled with their sensitive nose and allergy issue, I think sometimes the quality of their sleep affects their mood too…and due to their nasal issue, they have dark eye rings which always make like they are sleep deprived…

Snack – yes, we use snacks to entice them to wake up to good mood…but they always need new snacks to get them interested…maybe will give the classical music thing a try.

Thanks again!

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 04:27:31 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 04:27:31 GMT

sean wife:
My 5 year old gals also have the 'habit' of crying especially when they wake up from their naps...it is not like they do not have enough sleep as their naps can be like 1-1.5 hrs each day. Sometimes when they nap more, they wake up with better mood, however the problem is it takes them very long to get to nap (can be like 45 mins each time), so if they nap any longer, they will be waking up almost dinner time liao…they only finish their lunch and shower like 2.30pm in the afternoon(takes long time to eat their lunch…), and by the time they really sleep, it is like 3.30-3.45pm liao…I know many 5 years old are not napping liao, but as far as possible, I want them to still nap so that I have more time with them in the evening when I am back from work….but sometimes come back to see 2 crying kids, really ask myself why I rush home every day after work. Their mood gets better later and later in the evening, and by bedtime, they are usually in their best moods and very fun to be with, but then it is time to put them in bed again…

Have you tried using classical music to wake them up? Something soft and mellow that will come on about 15 minutes before they wake up... that will nudge their consciousness slowly awake? Then, give them an extra 15 minutes AFTER they wake up to lounge in bed... cuddle you... kiss kiss kiss. I like this part best - Mommy gets to cuddle too. And when they're ready, they'll get up by themselves.

Especially if you arrange it so that they're a little hungry at that time, and prepare a favourite snack on a small table nearby.

You can also play with lighting. If you have opaque curtains, then they get to sleep in darkness. When you need them to wake up, just draw the curtains about 15 minutes before wake-up time.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:48:38 GMT

sean wife — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:48:38 GMT

My 5 year old gals also have the ‘habit’ of crying especially when they wake up from their naps…it is not like they do not have enough sleep as their naps can be like 1-1.5 hrs each day. Sometimes when they nap more, they wake up with better mood, however the problem is it takes them very long to get to nap (can be like 45 mins each time), so if they nap any longer, they will be waking up almost dinner time liao…they only finish their lunch and shower like 2.30pm in the afternoon(takes long time to eat their lunch…), and by the time they really sleep, it is like 3.30-3.45pm liao…I know many 5 years old are not napping liao, but as far as possible, I want them to still nap so that I have more time with them in the evening when I am back from work….but sometimes come back to see 2 crying kids, really ask myself why I rush home every day after work. Their mood gets better later and later in the evening, and by bedtime, they are usually in their best moods and very fun to be with, but then it is time to put them in bed again…

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:19:50 GMT

Dora1 — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:19:50 GMT

Yeah, everyone at home must have the same thinking. It's probably easier for me cos I brought up DD myself, I was a PTWM with CC. So it's a lot easier for us to be consistent when there's just DH and me. I still remembered that DD even at 2 yo, knew that she can play punk in IL's place. She was throwing tantrums at my IL's place to get what she wants, because she knows my ILs will give in to her. My MIL always say I am too harsh with her etc. I remembered there was a few incidents at my IL's place that I told my MIL not to interfere and I had to bring DD to a room and locked the door to discipline her as she was getting out of hand. Luckily DH is supportive and told his mum to stay out of it. But most of the time, if it is not too serious, I will just stay out of it, if not my MIL will say I dun even let her sayang her granddaughter once a week.

Those kids that are taken care of by grandparents will be very tough. I have a friend whose DS was totally spoilt by her MIL. It was so bad that my friend decided to quit her job and be a SAHM to try and salvage the situation (when DS was about 4+). But her MIL refused to go back to her home (her MIL used to stay with them Mon-Fri to take care of the children). So when my friend disciplined her DS behind closed door, her MIL will cry hysterically outside, banging on the door, pleading with her not to bully her grandson :yikes:
So 1 year after my friend quit, not only did her DS's behaviour not improved, her relationship with her DS deteriorated cos her DS will go to the grandma and not to her. Then there was one time the MIL taught her DS to tell a very big lie to her, and was discovered by my friend. The MIL still denied. So my friend finally did the unimaginable - she drove her MIL out of her house. My friend is a peace loving and normally very meek person. That's why all these years she didn't really extensively interfere with the way her MIL discipline her DS. Now 6 mths after the MIL left their house, I can see that the DS is a much better boy. More confident, reasonable and matured. The DS used to be very scared to try new things, won't socialise, and always hide behind the grandma.
I'm not advocating that everyone chases their mother/MIL out of their house. But I think even if the grandma is the main caregiver, the parents should still set the rules, and communicated periodically to the grandma. Don't wait until things get so out of hand to take drastic actions.
Alternatively, send the DS to a CC so that interactions with the grandparents will be minimized.

Reply to Crying 5year old son on Thu, 11 Oct 2012 01:18:30 GMT

Chenonceau — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 01:18:30 GMT

PhoBIA:
Dora1, you are right!

Being firm and persistant is the hardest part. Everyone in the family must help to execute punishment for the child to learn.
The worst is when a child gets chided by a parent, other family members reprimand the parent instead of reprimanding the child.

I can so relate to this. Doesn't happen anymore because the other family members have by 2 decades of marriage... been dealt with... but man! It used to drive me NUTS!