How to make your child sleep better in the night?

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:02:07 GMT

tutormum — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:02:07 GMT

My 3 DS never take naps since they were toddlers but sleep at about 930pm to wake up at 6 or 630am when they need to go school the next day. Otherwise, they’ll sleep later and wake up later. They sleep very well at night. I believe that as long as they have the required amount of sleep which is minimum 8 hours, and function well in the day, they don’t need the nap.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 07 Apr 2010 09:12:44 GMT

happychick — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 09:12:44 GMT

wow ! thanks everyone for sharing their experiences !!

can someone help with my "problem" ?

DD (4Yo) gets back from Nursery at 12noon. She will try to eat and bath but will refuse to sleep - i think this stemmed from last yr when i placed her in childcare and they "forced" her to nap from 1 - 3pm. Apparently, she wld kick up a big fuss (uhhh, now i’m making her sound like a ill behaved kid : ) and not nap - she eventually would lay down on her mattress (in Childcare) when everyone was sleeping.
I’ve since taken her out of CC, and she comes back home every afternoon. She will drink her milk (2 bottles sometimes) and do colouring, cutting, playing in the sitting room quietly but NOT SLEEP !!!
Should i be concerned ? She wld go to bed at abt 9 - 10 plus and sleep till 7 in the mornings - undisrupted so i think she gets a good nights rest.
i’m in two minds about quitting work and staying home to try to get her into a routine.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:18:22 GMT

schellen — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:18:22 GMT

Kathong:
Hi schellen,

I think he naps too late too. but he would only comes back from sch at abt 12.30pm to 1.30pm. Maybe should let him nap earlier like 2pm to 4pm..?

thanks for your advice. Btw he will be joining childcare in end nov, hopeful all these issue will be solved.

Oh... the children at the childcare will nap from 1 to 3 pm. Hopefull this will work.

:celebrate:

Yes, 2-4pm is good at home. We used to do that too when we got back after lunch after enrichment. Childcare will generally stick to 1-3pm for naptime as teatime is usually about 3-3:30pm, otherwise the children will get hungry. Childcare will help to \"train\" him, I guess. Hopefully, he listens and obeys more easily when it's someone (not a relative) in a person of authority, and the childcare should not have TV on its schedule, except maybe in the last hour/half-hour of the day, when there are few children left waiting to be picked up. Maybe he'll be weaned off his addiction to TV. Good luck!

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:19:47 GMT

Kathong — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:19:47 GMT

Hi schellen,

I think he naps too late too. but he would only comes back from sch at abt 12.30pm to 1.30pm. Maybe should let him nap earlier like 2pm to 4pm..?

thanks for your advice. Btw he will be joining childcare in end nov, hopeful all these issue will be solved.

Oh... the children at the childcare will nap from 1 to 3 pm. Hopefull this will work.

:celebrate:

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:03:41 GMT

firsttimemummy — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:03:41 GMT

when is the best time to really train a child into goos sleeping habits?mine is jus 6 weeks ?m i being too kiasu?should i just let my baby b a baby? :roll:

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:02:22 GMT

schellen — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:02:22 GMT

I can see the problems already:

1. He naps too late in the day. When DD1 was 3, and if she napped from 3pm, she'll end up sleeping late (9-10pm). We always get her to nap from 1 and wake her up at about 3.

2. She used to watch a lot of VCDs/DVDs (my fault) but we never let her watch past 6pm. Luckily, she watches more VCDs/DVDs than actual \"live\" programmes because the former format makes it easier to \"control\" her schedule. 6pm is the time she gets ready for bed. Yes, at 6pm but the routine has many steps and we do not rush them. She has her shower, milk, brushes her teeth and we read her bedtime stories before lights out.
When your son watches TV till late at night, he will be too excited for bed. You will need to spend a lot of time to calm him down before his body winds down. Young children have difficulty realising this and knowing what is needed to calm down for bedtime so adults must lead. He may not be jumping around but his brain may still be buzzing due to what he saw on TV.
When DD1 (now 7) wants to play near her bedtime, we restrict the activities she does. She has to choose something that is quiet and requires her to sit down. For example, she can draw, read or play a quick game of cards with us. If your son plays by imitating what he saw on TV, his body will still be full of adrenalin when it is time for bed.

3. I don't think that switching off the lights and playing soothing music helps some children, especially if the child has to switch suddenly from an energizing activity to something that only requires him to lie still. Even when we exercise, we still need to cool down before actually stopping, right?
You will have to wean him off the late night cartoons. No choice. He doesn't know what's good for him but you do so you have to enforce it. He is too young to understand the reason behind it so there is no need to explain it to him. Just do it and bear the initial tantrums, refuasal to sleep, etc. You can even \"lie\" to him by saying that his programmes have been cancelled or something like that. Eventually, he will realise that no matter what he does to get out of sleeping early, you will not respond. When he does co-operate, even if only a little, praise his action. Don't just say, \"Good boy!\", as he will not know what he did to receive that praise. Be specific; you can say \"I'm happy you are lying here quietly.\" Remember not to overdo the praise or it'll backfire on you.

The realisation that parents have to do something before the situation worsens is the first step. Subsequent steps to remedy the situation will be difficult but not impossible. You must be firm and confident, and have the support of your family. It will not help to have other family members undermine your efforts in anyway. Good luck!

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:22:14 GMT

Kathong — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:22:14 GMT

Hi schellen,

My son wakes up at 8am. His sch bus picks him at 8.45am and comes back at 12.30pm. He will take his lunch, bathe and watch tv till abt 3pm. he will nap from 3.30pm to 5pm or sometimes 6pm. he will play and follow by dinner. He watches tv again from 9pm to 10.45pm. In between watching tv, he will play his toys, trying to imitates the tv’s action. i will off the light slightly before 11pm, on the music and massage him. he will then sleep at abt 11.30pm…

You may think that i should off the light earlier. But prior to this, i used to off the lights and start the soothing process at abt 9.30pm. btm he will still sleep at 11.30pm. thereafter, he releases that there are his fave cartoons at 9 plus, the more he refuses to sleep.

Pls advice

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:09:12 GMT

schellen — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:09:12 GMT

Kathong:
My son is 3 yrs plus. He is sleeping with us in the same room on a mattress beside our bed.

He always want me to accompany him to sleep. The only problem that he has is that he sleep very late. He will sleep at abt 11.30pm if he has any afternoon nap of 1 to 2 and 1/2 hrs. the only time he sleeps early is when he did not nap in the afternoon. In such cases, he will sleep at abt 8plus till the next morning.

How to make him sleep earlier?

When does he nap? What time does he wake up in the morning? What does he do during the day? What does he do before bedtime? Is there a bedtime routine? How long has this been going on?

I'm sorry for asking so many questions but if you can answer them, it'll help in looking for the solution(s).

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:43:57 GMT

Kathong — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:43:57 GMT

My son is 3 yrs plus. He is sleeping with us in the same room on a mattress beside our bed.

He always want me to accompany him to sleep. The only problem that he has is that he sleep very late. He will sleep at abt 11.30pm if he has any afternoon nap of 1 to 2 and 1/2 hrs. the only time he sleeps early is when he did not nap in the afternoon. In such cases, he will sleep at abt 8plus till the next morning.

How to make him sleep earlier?

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:05:14 GMT

mishamisha — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:05:14 GMT

The combination of bedtime stories and warm cup of milo seemed to work for me. Although i have to make a point of making the milo less sweet to ensure my daughter does not develop a sweet tooth.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Sun, 26 Jul 2009 08:24:43 GMT

Acidica — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 08:24:43 GMT

Thanks Funz for sharing your experience. I look forward when she can sleep on her own but I know it may take longer than I would expect. I will preserve. Now I treasure my sleep and free time when possible - things I take for granted before I have children. However with the little ones around, my world and prospective has definitely change. They have taught me alot - how to tone my temper down and how to treasure little things around me.

Having said that, I keep my fingers cross and look forward to days my DD sleeps soundly by herself and I give myself a pat for job well done

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:06:40 GMT

Funz — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:06:40 GMT

My girl now 6yrs old had very bad sleeping pattern up till about 4+. At 1 point, it was so bad that she will be waking up crying and screaming almost 2 hourly and will take about another 30-45mins to settle down again. And after she falls asleep, it will take me about another 20mins b4 I can get back to sleep and just when I doze off, she starts again. That dragged on for a good 6mths that both DH and my health suffered due to lack of sleep. Even in the childcare, teachers say that her afternoon naps are disturbed as well, she will wake up crying like clockwork after about 45mins into her sleep and will settle down again after about 30mins by which it is time to wake up oredi cos she takes about 30mins to fall asleep to begin with.

I tried the scientific way (making sure she gets enuf time for nap, no exciting activities, enuf wind down time b4 bedtime, establish bedtime routine, no scary movies or stories, etc) and the superstitious/religious way (ie, my mum went to the temple to consult them, kenna drink ‘holy’ water, bath in flower water, even teach her bedtime prayers, etc) nothing seem to work. Or rather, nothing seem to work fast enuf. But I think to some extent a combination of the scientific and religious way did help settle her over time.

To give both me & DH a chance to sleep undisturbed, we take turns to sleep with her at nite. And on some nites, the maid pitch in. She started getting better only when she was about 5yrs old. Looking back, we have no idea how we ‘survive’ that period but we did and these days, we treasure our sleep!

what schellen said does help in that try to give enuf wind down time. As for asking for milk or drink, you just have to try to wean her off. You can start by weaning her off the bottle in the day first. Talk to her first before you embark on the ‘project’. Tell her she is a big girl already, and big girls drink from cups. Once the bottle is out of the way in the day, then talk to her about no waking up for milk at nite. You can expect her to still wake up for the milk and protesting when you say no, but persevere and she will eventually adjust to the arrangement. As for peeing, get her to empty her bladder b4 she sleeps and get her to go another time b4 you hit the sack. And if she is not drinking any milk in the middle of the nite, then maybe she won’t wake up to pee.

Hope you will be able to find a way to improve your dd’s sleeping pattern. It took us 5yrs but these days, dd is sleeping thru the nite on her own. I still put her and ds to bed and stay with them till they fall asleep but thereafter, I am back in my own room.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:13:12 GMT

Acidica — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:13:12 GMT

Hi sunset_dae, I agreed it becomes a bad habit. She used to sleep with my parent in law and the habits starts then.

Her last feed is about 10pm and I going to try to play the soothing music to see if it works for her. I'm keeping my fingers cross and pray hard!

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:08:48 GMT

Acidica — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:08:48 GMT

Thanks schellen for your post! I did the similar thing too like dimming the light before bed time to wind her down and no scary or violent movie before that.

She goes to nursery for 1.5 hrs in the morning and she naps for about 2 hours in the afternoon. I am not sure is it because she is light sleeper but I will try to monitor her activities like what you suggest.

Would anyone thinks that putting light lavender scent in the room would helps? Personally I like lavender very much. Make me feels good and relaxing

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:06:51 GMT

sunset_dae — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:06:51 GMT

i think waking up in the middle of night a few time asking for milk and water has become a habit instead of need. What time is their last feed?

What i suggest is continue to pat them when they wake up to ask for milk or water. ( i tried this way and it works, DD now is 2 yrs old and wake up at 6am for milk and his last feed is 8.30pm)

u can also play soothing music before they sleep

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:56:45 GMT

Acidica — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:56:45 GMT

buds:
One question :-

Is your child sleeping WITH you and hubs

OR

is your child already sleeping IN HER OWN ROOM?

Hi buds, my daughter sleeps with us in our room. She keep asking for me to accompany her every night so that is why she is still rooming with us.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:51:52 GMT

Acidica — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:51:52 GMT

Bowie:
Hi, not sure if this is applicable for a 3 yo. Since baby, I always have some background sound (a mini fan) on when my gal sleep.

Keeping the room too quiet make any small noise very amplified in night time.

Maybe can try.

Thanks for the suggestion. I will try anything to get a good night sleep.

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 10:45:45 GMT

Jav — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 10:45:45 GMT

Hi,

I have a slight different difficulty in putting children to sleep by themselves in their own room. My boy is 4 & my girl is 3, both of them sleep in the same room. They refuse to sleep through if I don’t sleep in between of them. My helper or myself can put them to sleep and I tried to get back to my room after they are in deep sleep but then in the middle of night, I would get all the cryings. So, in the end, I keep sleeping with them so that everyone have some peace. No matter how I tell my son, he is always so afraid to sleep without mummy. But then, I don’t prefer this arrangement as one day, they would have to go to bed their own. Anybody has any tricks or ideas to share?

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:45:18 GMT

buds — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:45:18 GMT

One question :-

Is your child sleeping WITH you and hubs

OR

is your child already sleeping IN HER OWN ROOM?

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:41:17 GMT

schellen — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:41:17 GMT

Is your girl napping well in the day? If she doesn’t, then she may be overtired by bedtime and will not be able to sleep or sleep properly. When people (not just children) get overtired, our bodies compensate by having a shot of adrenalin. This makes us energetic again but actually is not good for health as it is only a temporary measure. The best is to let her nap well in the day so that by bedtime, she will be tired but not overtired. Once her body’s adrenalin has kicked in, the only thing you can do is to slowly wind her down again. Getting her to bed immediately will backfire on you.

If this is not the case, examine her activities for the day, especially those in the late afternoon and evening. For my DD, if she does something that keeps her excited and "on high" during these times, it is very difficult to get her to sleep soundly at night. She will tend to wake up often and sometimes may get nightmares/night terrors. She is already 7 this year but her sleeping behaviour has remained the same for so many years. To prevent this, we schedule calmer activities for her nearer bedtime. Our parents also know about this so they co-operate.

My DD is also prone to nightmares if she watches/reads something scary and/or violent. This may persist even a few days after the actual thing has happened. Therefore, we are very careful when screening stuff for her to watch/read. Now that she is older, she understands and doesn’t want the nightmares so when we decline her requests to watch/read something, she doesn’t insist on it. Perhaps you can check your daughter’s exposure to media? Don’t take the G/PG rating for shows at face value. You know your child best so check the show out yourself first. Same for books. Some seemingly tame stories may have a scary illustration right in the middle of the book so we always check first. Kids’ programmes on TV may be interspersed with trailers/ads for adult shows so be wary. My DD has learned to change the channel or mute the TV and shut her eyes when that happens.

What I mentioned here may not be what your child is experiencing so the best way is to observe your child during the day as well to get an idea why she behaves like that at night. Good luck! ^_^

Reply to How to make your child sleep better in the night? on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:08:37 GMT

Bowie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:08:37 GMT

Hi, not sure if this is applicable for a 3 yo. Since baby, I always have some background sound (a mini fan) on when my gal sleep.

Keeping the room too quiet make any small noise very amplified in night time.

Maybe can try.