Handling Timid child

Reply to Handling Timid child on Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:23:22 GMT

bbforest — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:23:22 GMT

Hi all,

Thanks for all the sharing. Now he is 5yrs old, manage to send him for swimming lesson. intially he refused to go into the water, but his coach was very patience with him. Now he enjoy his lesson and looking forward to it.

Recently I have a thought of sending him to Phonicsread at AMK. Last year, we bring him to KKH for assessment, and was told to have speech delay and suspected sign of autism. After a year of therapy, there is sign of improvement. I wanted to send to Phonicsread, but was very worry that he will be scare to enter the class. Last time, i tried sending him to a trial lesson, less than 10 mins, the teacher send him out, as he was crying non-stop, they do not know what to do and I can’t coax him to go back to the lesson. Whenever we walk pass the school, he will look scare. I was in a delimma whether to send him to Phonicsread. His grandparents keep saying nevermind, and say that he will learn when he get older. And keep saying is genetic that he is like his father, and will out grow it eventually. I feel helpless and depress whenever they say that.

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:04:22 GMT

ooptimizer — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:04:22 GMT

hquek:
Sigh...one of the things about being a parent is that I no longer have licence to scream in fear.

Whenever there is flying insect or cockroach, however I quake inside, I still have to act brave and nonchalant and just take a slipper/magazine to whack the offending fella, and then use a tissue/toilet paper to clear up the mess.

I don't handle with bare hands, but feel quite proud that I've tried. Although end up my 2 sons still quite scared of insects....

Funny thing, my 2 sons not scared of insects, in fact they like to catch and torture insects. My DS1 ever catch a lizard with his bare hands and DS2 took a photo of him. They then proceeded to toture the lizard...

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:59:58 GMT

ZacK — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:59:58 GMT

Mum_2Gals:
Hi bbforest,

My N1 is also very timid \"at times\". When we went to Disneyland, she's really afraid of the Disney characters. Most children will rush up to take photos, but she just cried and struggled to get away :stupid: My K1 used to be afraid too, now she's ok with taking photos together with those cartoon characters but she can be very timid at playgrounds. I need to hold on to her when she climbs up ladders, and 'catch\" her at the bottom of the slide. :oops: My N1 is super brave when playing at playgrounds, climbing up ladders and going down slides on her own. :?

I remembered earlier this year, we brought DS1 (5yrs old then) to Disneyland HK and paid for the fancy breakfast buffet where they have disney characters walking and mingling ard on the restaurant.... DS1 was so scared and literally turned green and started screaming whenever one of the characters came up to our table.... So :oops:

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:36:55 GMT

hquek — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:36:55 GMT

Sigh…one of the things about being a parent is that I no longer have licence to scream in fear.

Whenever there is flying insect or cockroach, however I quake inside, I still have to act brave and nonchalant and just take a slipper/magazine to whack the offending fella, and then use a tissue/toilet paper to clear up the mess.

I don’t handle with bare hands, but feel quite proud that I’ve tried. Although end up my 2 sons still quite scared of insects…

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:32:22 GMT

BlurBee — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:32:22 GMT

coolit:
Hi Kiasimum,

Sounds very familiar but sometimes I ask myself how to raise kids who are fearless when I am so scared of lizards, cockroaches and all creepy crawly stuff myself, I will scream like a hyena when I see one..

Hi coolit, you made me remember an incident.
There was once a little lizard \"visits\" my house and I screamed the moment I saw it. DS2 (was 1+yo then) was initially walking toward the lizard but when he heard me screamed, he also cried out & running towards me saying he is scared too.
I was scolded by my hubby for scaring DS2.
After this incident, he started to afraid of small inserts, even an ant.
Now I have to re-educate him not to afraid of small inserts.

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:00:30 GMT

mrswongtuition — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:00:30 GMT

My boy’s very timid too. And he’s not even 3yo yet.

1. Afraid of moving rides like those merry-go-rounds.
2. Afraid of anything that creepy crawlie (but he’ll be a good boy and step on cockroaches to save mummy).
3. Afraid of heights.
4. Afraid of water.
5. Afraid of ‘ghosts’.
6. Afraid of mascots.

So far the improvements made after we tried to encourage him to play:
1. Willing to sit on merry-go-round if it’s not moving. Will stand there and watch other kids play and cheer for them.
2. Will pick up insects to inspect before screaming for daddy to kill it.
3. Not too afraid of heights, willing to climb up ladder on his own without help.
4. Still afraid of water, but he can swim! Yes! After 4 swimming lessons, he can swim a distance of around 1m on his own. Still cry in the pool but at least he can swim.
5. He knows that ‘ghosts’ are just characters in the show and will act afraid by hiding under the blanket and giggle.
6. Still does not like mascots but will not cry when asked to give the mascot a ‘high five’.

It takes time and exposure to let them get used to it. I also had to face my fear of insects and set an example by not acting scared when I see them. I even had to calmly pick up a beetle and ‘dispose’ it to show my boy that there’s nothing to be scared off.

Reply to Handling Timid child on Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:08:16 GMT

coolit — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:08:16 GMT

Hi Kiasimum,

Sounds very familiar but sometimes I ask myself how to raise kids who are fearless when I am so scared of lizards, cockroaches and all creepy crawly stuff myself, I will scream like a hyena when I see one…

Reply to Handling Timid child on Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:21:27 GMT

Mum_2Gals — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:21:27 GMT

Hi bbforest,

My N1 is also very timid \"at times\". When we went to Disneyland, she's really afraid of the Disney characters. Most children will rush up to take photos, but she just cried and struggled to get away :stupid: My K1 used to be afraid too, now she's ok with taking photos together with those cartoon characters but she can be very timid at playgrounds. I need to hold on to her when she climbs up ladders, and 'catch\" her at the bottom of the slide. :oops: My N1 is super brave when playing at playgrounds, climbing up ladders and going down slides on her own. :?

Reply to Handling Timid child on Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:42:38 GMT

autumnbronze — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:42:38 GMT

bbforest:
Thanks for all your sharing, now i try to bring him out more often, parks and play ground. Hope that it will help to build up his curiosity and courage to play with the children.

Hi bbforest,

Yup, I am sure that will help.

I do think its a phase too.

My son is almost 2 and a half and he is what my DH term as a cautious boy, but it bothered me cuz my ILs are v v overprotective about him. They don't let him run ard so much, are constantly hovering ard him etc..(guess thats what grdparents do :D) and he was always hesitant to try out things eg the slide at the playgrd. He was also using the word \"scared\" alot too whenever he was reluctant to try out stuff.

I decided to sign him up for gym then. Its been 3 mths plus and there's an improvement. Initially - \"scared\" - quoting him :lol:, to try out stuff like the monkey bar or the balancing bar, he has become more receptive.

I guess for my DS's case, perhaps he was going thru a phase, but it didn't help that ILs were compounding the matter instead of encouraging him to be more adventurous (of course with limits lah). Hence, my 'rectifying' action. He is still cautious, but there seems to be more of a balance in him. For example, today, while walking on the road, he asked my DH to carry him as the staircase we were going to walk down was \"steep\" and \"dangerous\" in his own words :lol:

Reply to Handling Timid child on Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:57:58 GMT

kiasimom — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:57:58 GMT

My DS is probably the most timid boy.

He is scared of practically everything!
Darkness, cockroaches, cats, dogs, insects…etc

Haiz, hope he can be braver!

Reply to Handling Timid child on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:22:54 GMT

bbforest — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:22:54 GMT

Thanks for all your sharing, now i try to bring him out more often, parks and play ground. Hope that it will help to build up his curiosity and courage to play with the children.

Reply to Handling Timid child on Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:32:37 GMT

ZacK — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:32:37 GMT

bbforest:
He is now 3 1/2 yrs old. He like shopping, but if we happen to pass by any moving object like merry go round at some shopping mall or coin- operated machine cars, he will be scare. He don't allow me to walk near to it.

My boy is 4.5 now... He is still timid compared with some of the other kids I've seen... But definitely a lot better now... So I would say that it's a passing phase for your little one.

Mine used to be even afraid of mannequins on display when he was younger and I remembered once there was a life sized horse and carriage on display during one xmas... He just freaked out and started screaming and clinging onto me tightly... My wife and I were embarrassed of cos :oops:

Reply to Handling Timid child on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:03:25 GMT

ChiefKiasu — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:03:25 GMT

bbforest:
He is now 3 1/2 yrs old. He like shopping, but if we happen to pass by any moving object like merry go round at some shopping mall or coin- operated machine cars, he will be scare. He don't allow me to walk near to it.

It's a phase which kids will grow out of. My daughter used to be scared by the most harmless cartoon characters (eg. cuddly penguin, polar bear, etc) up to 2 years old, but now I couldn't get her off Disney channel with the more scary cartoon characters in things like Scooby Doo, etc.

She got frightened by the big chubby robotic things that walked around during the World Book Fair last month... but I'm sure if I had brought her to Disneyland or Warner Brothers, she will quickly rid herself of that fear too.

Just take her out for walks or shopping as much as you can. No need to spend money for that (except if you actually buy things from shopping, of course).

Reply to Handling Timid child on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:31:29 GMT

bbforest — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:31:29 GMT

He is now 3 1/2 yrs old. He like shopping, but if we happen to pass by any moving object like merry go round at some shopping mall or coin- operated machine cars, he will be scare. He don’t allow me to walk near to it.

Reply to Handling Timid child on Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:04:42 GMT

Fettuccine — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:04:42 GMT

How old is your son? My K2 son was timid too when younger, but he is now ok and dare to watch Lord of the Ring series on TV. I think its just a phase...preschoolers can be imaginative at this stage...

Anyway, bring your kid out to zoo, swimming, cycling, science center, or even shopping, etc. He should be generally ok if he has no problems with learning/socializing with his friends or in school...