cherrygal:

Not just the angmoh shows, think the parents watch too many K-drama and idol dramas with too much kissing. It was reported in Wanbao that we shouldn't watch such dramas in front of kids or they will \"mature\" too quickly.

HopeandSorrows:

too much angmoh tv and movies with such scenes which normalized the behaviour in our culture... our young are influenced. did you inform your DD's teacher?

Funz:

Not sure how is the communication process like with that centre. Can call or sms the teacher if you do not get to see her?

At this age, the kids actions are usually harmless, so there really is no reason to make too big a fuss. While you take the chance to tell the boy, you can also teach your DD to be firm and tell him she does not like being hugged and kiss.

SBKS:

Funz:

If this happens in front of me, I will tell the boy that this is not how DD likes to be greeted and proceed to show how to greet DD. Tell him I think he can be a very good friend to DD but DD simply hates to be hugged and kissed like that and task him to tell others not to do that to DD if he should see that happening.


At the same time, I will highlight to the teacher that though I know it is harmless, DD and my preference is for this boy to stop the hugging and kissing and for the teacher to help monitor the situation.

task him to do other things...hmmm distraction is the best. :rahrah:
bad thing is teachers not around for me to \"signal\" or \"tell\".

What about video recording it as evidence? if i cant stop it in time.

TeachingMyToddlers.com:

When dealing with these kinds of situations, I train DD to *put her hand up* and say *Stop!* and then say whatever she needs to say. In this case, that might be \"I don't want to be hugged today\" and then offer an appropriate alternative if she feels okay with that, like \"We can play blocks instead.\" If he's really troublesome to her, I wouldn't even tell her to offer that. It may seem blunt, but our girls are is going to be dealing with men the rest of their lives and some just do not have a clue. I would tell her to keep a close eye out for when he seems like he's coming close to her and she can stop him before he begins to hug her. Have her practice using her hand and forcefully saying \"Stop!\" at home.


http://stockfresh.com/files/h/habman_18/m/17/416377_stock-photo-stop-young-woman-holds-hand-up.jpg\">

If a more gentle approach is effective, then by all means use it, but I am overprotective when it comes to my kids.

On a semi-related note, I always tell my kids that I will never force them to give hugs and kisses to someone they don't want to, even an uncle, grandfather, etc. I feel like it will set them up to feel like it's okay to be pressured into giving affection. So I ask them, \"Do you want to give a hug good by or a high five?\" and wait for their response. If it's just a wave, that's fine with me, too. My kids' comfort level is more important to me than hurting someone else's feelings and forcing affection.

Funz:

If this happens in front of me, I will tell the boy that this is not how DD likes to be greeted and proceed to show how to greet DD. Tell him I think he can be a very good friend to DD but DD simply hates to be hugged and kissed like that and task him to tell others not to do that to DD if he should see that happening.


At the same time, I will highlight to the teacher that though I know it is harmless, DD and my preference is for this boy to stop the hugging and kissing and for the teacher to help monitor the situation.

cherrygal:

I think the best is to train your gal to tell the boy firmly not to go near her and if he doesn't give up, she should just avoid him or walk away. Telling teacher is useless coz she can only tell AFTER the kiss. Too late... better to be proactive than reactive.


If you witness it, you could tell the boy that your gal has a cough / runny nose to scare him away. If you tell his parents, I guarantee you that his parents will laugh it off and say you are too sensitive. <pull hair>

You could tell the teachers and some will try to separate them but you cannot expect the teachers to monitor them like hawks, so the best way is still to train your gal to protect herself.

When I read your post, the first thought in my mind was not the mental discomfort of such close interaction, but rather the germs that could be spread. I would tell the teachers to prevent such close interactions as HFMD could be spread easily. Preschools are very afraid of such things so it may work better than trying to convince them that your kid is plain \"uncomfortable\".

mummy of three:

It sounds like she’s not comfortable with it, maybe let the teachers know so that it won’t happen anymore.
As parents, I don’t see what’s wrong with protecting our children

slmkhoo:

I am probably old-fashioned, but I feel that this kind of behaviour is just not appropriate between a boy and a girl, even of this age. I would tell the teachers so, and also tell your daughter that she is perfectly entitled to say that she doesn't want him to hug and kiss her. The boy is probably just exuberant and doesn't know that it's inappropriate.

TeachingMyToddlers.com:

When dealing with these kinds of situations, I train DD to *put her hand up* and say *Stop!* and then say whatever she needs to say. In this case, that might be \"I don't want to be hugged today\" and then offer an appropriate alternative if she feels okay with that, like \"We can play blocks instead.\" If he's really troublesome to her, I wouldn't even tell her to offer that. It may seem blunt, but our girls are is going to be dealing with men the rest of their lives and some just do not have a clue. I would tell her to keep a close eye out for when he seems like he's coming close to her and she can stop him before he begins to hug her. Have her practice using her hand and forcefully saying \"Stop!\" at home.


http://stockfresh.com/files/h/habman_18/m/17/416377_stock-photo-stop-young-woman-holds-hand-up.jpg\">

If a more gentle approach is effective, then by all means use it, but I am overprotective when it comes to my kids.

On a semi-related note, I always tell my kids that I will never force them to give hugs and kisses to someone they don't want to, even an uncle, grandfather, etc. I feel like it will set them up to feel like it's okay to be pressured into giving affection. So I ask them, \"Do you want to give a hug good by or a high five?\" and wait for their response. If it's just a wave, that's fine with me, too. My kids' comfort level is more important to me than hurting someone else's feelings and forcing affection.

SBKS:

Hi,


I have a 4.5yo DD in child care. My DD has mentioned to me that she is hugged and kissed by a boy in class. I told her once should be ok.

She just nodded.

But when I witness it myself, its not acceptable to me. The boy is like putting both arms ard her neck infront of her and trying to kiss her. almost like an adult. My DD try to push him away but he hold on tight.

Thats not acceptable right? Or m i being overprotective?