<![CDATA[Extra Marital Affair]]>Hiya Insider,


Thanks for sharing something that is so personal to you for the benefit of everyone here.

You did the right thing... Whatever the wrong done to us, man will be man and will make mistakes... sometimes just need to put the pride and hurt aside... Search our hearts deep inside and ask what do we want to happen ... Do we want to carry on or go separate ways ... If the decision of both is still to carry on together, then will just have to draw strength from whatever good that can come out of a bad situation.

More often then not... By being angry with ourselves or others over a bad situation... We end up being miserable.

Takes a lot of courage to forgive and kudos to you :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/4725/extra-marital-affairRSS for NodeSat, 18 Apr 2026 12:36:45 GMTMon, 03 Aug 2009 16:56:05 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sun, 15 Jul 2012 23:45:11 GMT]]>A romantic affair, also called an affair of the heart, may refer to sexual liaisons among unwed parties, or to various forms of nonmonogamy. Unlike a casual relationship, which is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have sex without expecting a more formal romantic relationship, an affair is by its nature romantic. Affair may also describe part of an agreement within an open marriage or open relationship, such as swinging, dating, or polyamory, in which some forms of sex with one's non-primary partner(s) are permitted and other forms are not. Participants in open relationships, including unmarried couples and polyamorous families, may consider sanctioned affairs the norm, but when a non-sanctioned affair occurs, it is described as infidelity and may be experienced as adultery, or a betrayal both of trust and integrity, even though to most people it would not be considered \"illicit.\"


http://www.cashvouchers.net,http://www.cashvouchers.net

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/797080https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/797080Sun, 15 Jul 2012 23:45:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sun, 15 Jul 2012 04:20:16 GMT]]>

cfan:
When the love is gone, whatever you do or don't do is \"shit\" to the other person.


Doesn't matter whether there is valid or no valid reason as the other person simply does not want to understand anymore.

Everybody chooses his or her own life.
Nobody can tell you what or what not to do.
You are guided by your own beliefs and teachings.
If you think that SEX is the biggest deal, so be it.
It only goes to show that your brain is linked to \"you know where\" only.

All husbands or wives, yes it is always tough when the children comes.
If your partner shows you the understanding and helps you with the upbringing, you are lucky you have found the right person.

It is only when the going gets tough that the tough gets going.
Thus when the going is tough and you don't help out to last the ride, sorry to say you are just not mature enough to handle children. You ought to have remain as children.

Parenting is a learning process, don't expect one party to handle all the job when it takes two to create.

Sorry just ranting.
Don't need to agree or disagree

Cheers
Hhahhaahhhh cfan well said :hi5:
some of us just dont want to grow up
and want everything for ourselves ...they make the worse spouse...
take all the time donno how to give...
a relationship take 2 to clap.... šŸ˜„

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/796693https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/796693Sun, 15 Jul 2012 04:20:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Fri, 13 Jul 2012 06:51:22 GMT]]>When the love is gone, whatever you do or donā€™t do is "shit" to the other person.


Doesnā€™t matter whether there is valid or no valid reason as the other person simply does not want to understand anymore.

Everybody chooses his or her own life.
Nobody can tell you what or what not to do.
You are guided by your own beliefs and teachings.
If you think that SEX is the biggest deal, so be it.
It only goes to show that your brain is linked to "you know where" only.

All husbands or wives, yes it is always tough when the children comes.
If your partner shows you the understanding and helps you with the upbringing, you are lucky you have found the right person.

It is only when the going gets tough that the tough gets going.
Thus when the going is tough and you donā€™t help out to last the ride, sorry to say you are just not mature enough to handle children. You ought to have remain as children.

Parenting is a learning process, donā€™t expect one party to handle all the job when it takes two to create.

Sorry just ranting.
Donā€™t need to agree or disagree

Cheers

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/795522https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/795522Fri, 13 Jul 2012 06:51:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Thu, 12 Jul 2012 04:58:06 GMT]]>

LostInWoods:
What if husband has sexual needs but wife keeps pushing him away? For months he was deprived of his needs and resorted to masturbation until he met one who is willIng to satisfy his needs? Or even resort to commercial sex if he can't find one? Is man to be blamed because of his needs and wife depriving his needs?

That is precisely the reason one of my wife's colleague keep harassing her, said his wife never give him he very poor thing & trying very hard to ask wife to go for lunch, or drink after work. Wifey never bother abt him & told me everything. fyi his wife just gave birth 2 months ago.

what I cannot understand is why he married his wife in the first place, and since the wife just gone through the hardship of giving birth (his kid) - why dont he spend more time to take care both the wife & newborn, instead flirting around with other married woman. :mad: what a baxxxxx

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794408https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794408Thu, 12 Jul 2012 04:58:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Thu, 12 Jul 2012 02:21:22 GMT]]>

LostInWoods:
What if husband has sexual needs but wife keeps pushing him away? For months he was deprived of his needs and resorted to masturbation until he met one who is willIng to satisfy his needs? Or even resort to commercial sex if he can't find one? Is man to be blamed because of his needs and wife depriving his needs?

Would it be ok then for the wife to turn to another man because she is not getting her emotional needs met by her husband? Because the husband fail to see what is the issue between them, the reason why intimacy is becoming a problem for them?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794235https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794235Thu, 12 Jul 2012 02:21:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Thu, 12 Jul 2012 02:08:24 GMT]]>

LostInWoods:
What if husband has sexual needs but wife keeps pushing him away? For months he was deprived of his needs and resorted to masturbation until he met one who is willIng to satisfy his needs? Or even resort to commercial sex if he can't find one? Is man to be blamed because of his needs and wife depriving his needs?

Warnings:
If you cheat on your partner it will ruin your own life, so make sure to always be honest with your spouse!
Always listen carefully. Some fights ruin the life even both sides do not know the cause of the fight.
Communication is the key to a relationship. One should feel free to discuss all things with out fear of repercussion at any time.
All issues need to have a solution and be resolved at the time of the conversation. Finish what you start other wise things just hang in the balance,which leads to future problems.
Learn to know one another understand you are not the same get to know eachother and the way they are. Respect that we are all individuals.
http://www.wikihow.com/Live-a-Happy-Married-Life

101 Ways To Tell Your Wife, \"I Love You\"
http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/101ways2sayiloveyou-wife

Married Women Hate Sex
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/sexless_marriage_surv

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794222https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794222Thu, 12 Jul 2012 02:08:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Thu, 12 Jul 2012 00:08:13 GMT]]>

friendship:
Getting divorce very easy mah?


heard that so many paper works, going here and there to meet the lawyer, being interrogated as if like a criminal. Looks like the children will suffer.
Divorce is not easy. It affects people's life beyond the two adults. So let's salute all those who left bad marriages in order to protect their children from physical, emotional abuse, or financial ruin.

Divorce should not be the easy way out. But it is sanctioned because sometimes, marriage partners DO need a way out, sometimes children ARE better off without one irresponsible parent. Children need good ROLE MODELS from both sexes, unfortunately not all adults are good role models.

One of my son's classmates' parents divorced last year. He said she used to cry in class last year. This year she is more cheerful and both parents have remarried. She is glad that her parents don't quarrel all the time anymore.

For those who stay together \"for the children\", make sure it is really good for the children. Do not turn around on difficult days and say to them \"I did all this for you, I suffered for you\", because this is unfair emotional blackmail. If it's \"for the children\", clarify that your spouse is indeed a good parent and then work on strengthening the relationship because you want to go on being a family.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794121https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794121Thu, 12 Jul 2012 00:08:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:50:29 GMT]]>Be an adult, have a frank discussion, and lay down the cards. If it is so important, there is no need to sweep it under the carpet or act secretively. We are adults, act like adults.


As one of my gfs who divorced said to her ex - "if you have a problem with me, tell me in my face and letā€™s see what we can do. You donā€™t run off and do things behind my back." For the record, she is a beautiful bombshell cum career woman, but the husband couldnā€™t do it in bed. When she asked him to go for counselling together he refused because he has already taken up with a younger girl with the help of viagra.

Donā€™t take on a victim or matyr complex. Nobody appreciates it and nobody benefits from it. Frank discussion is better than deception. With frankness you can clarify your priorities and move forward, be it divorce, open marriage, counselling or making more efforts.

If you are afraid to bring things out to the open, remember that through deception, you are already setting a time-bomb on your relationship anyway.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794108https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/794108Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:50:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:47:25 GMT]]>What if husband has sexual needs but wife keeps pushing him away? For months he was deprived of his needs and resorted to masturbation until he met one who is willIng to satisfy his needs? Or even resort to commercial sex if he canā€™t find one? Is man to be blamed because of his needs and wife depriving his needs?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/793227https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/793227Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:47:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Fri, 06 Jul 2012 08:36:05 GMT]]>

deminc:
mummy of three:

Iā€™m somewhat in the same situation as you. Are you really happy? Did you really forgive him? I look at him and he feel like a total stranger to me. I kept calm too. Just to ā€œsave faceā€ in front of everyone else. But in my heart, heā€™s no longer the one he used to beā€¦


:hugs: I understand what u mean.

:grphug:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/790623https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/790623Fri, 06 Jul 2012 08:36:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Thu, 05 Jul 2012 08:03:45 GMT]]>Getting divorce very easy mah?


heard that so many paper works, going here and there to meet the lawyer, being interrogated as if like a criminal. Looks like the children will suffer.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789829https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789829Thu, 05 Jul 2012 08:03:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 04 Jul 2012 18:27:52 GMT]]>

mummy of three:
Iā€™m somewhat in the same situation as you. Are you really happy? Did you really forgive him? I look at him and he feel like a total stranger to me. I kept calm too. Just to ā€œsave faceā€ in front of everyone else. But in my heart, heā€™s no longer the one he used to beā€¦

:hugs: I understand what u mean.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789432https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789432Wed, 04 Jul 2012 18:27:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 04 Jul 2012 15:11:54 GMT]]>

deminc:
The first time i forgave. The second time i beat him up. If there is a third time, I will smash the windscreen and his laptop before calling the lawyers.

This is not EMA its addiction :gloomy:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789370https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/789370Wed, 04 Jul 2012 15:11:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Mon, 25 Jun 2012 03:08:59 GMT]]>- deleted-

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/782799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/782799Mon, 25 Jun 2012 03:08:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Fri, 22 Jun 2012 08:37:38 GMT]]>Well, I just come across this tread which I would like to share as a man. I do feel sad for those who have their husband EMA. I am trying to share with you about men and hope to share with you on what I learn about relationship.


In terms of biological, men are make to be more sexual desire than women. If the world have only one man and ten women left on earth. The survival of mankind would be able to last as a man can make ten women to have more babies. But if there is only one woman but there are ten men, the survival rate for mankind would be very dangerous. Therefore, the biological of human being are made in this way. This is just talking about only biological. I do not say that I would agree to this kind of behaviour.

In terms of ethics, a man should be faithful to his wife as this is constitute in the marriage.

Before I was married, I was afraid of marriage. I saw the divorce rate is higher and higher. I do not want to be one of the number. Therefore, I do think about marriage as there is no security in marriage. I would cohabit if I have a partner.

Luckily, I had talked to a pastor and he told me that the difference between cohabit and marriage is responsibility. If I love someone, wouldnā€™t I should be responsible for the one that I love? From then, I do not think about cohabit.

From research, a lot of them had proved that those who cohabit have a higher rate of divorce than those who do not cohabit.

So I asked myself what makes a marriage long lasting. I had found out there are 3 essential things that would make a marriage last but it would takes two to clap.

First, is both the couple must have high level of commitment to the marriage. I noticed that nowadays many people have very low commitment towards marriage. Anything wrong, divorce would come to mind. This mentalility is very bad which also resulted higher divorce rate. Many people think that divorce could solve the problem but I would said that it would solve partial problems. If the couple do not have any children, then it would only affect the couple but those with children, the children would be hurt the most.

If the commitment is high for the couple, any problems could be solve Together. Yes, to solve the problems TOGETHER.

Even with the problem of EMA, couple can sit down and solve the problem together. What went wrong that cause EMA? Do you think men would like to flirt and have EMA if his wife treats him very well? Even though a man has higher sexual desire but if his wife knows how to respect him and treat him well, he will not want to have EMA. I believe some women would disagree with me and said that didnā€™t I treat him well? I cook, wash and take care of the house for him yet he dare to said that I do not treat him well? I believe wife would love to hear nice thing from husband like " I love you", " you are so beautiful" and etc even though husband may have work very hard to bring bread home. So men also need to hear nice thing from wife.

Second, is the communication. Problems arises due to poor communication. Men and women are really different and they see and hear things differently. I give a few simple examples. Wife told husband to find something but husband always could not find the thing. Men have better direction than women. Men and women are made differently therefore there are many different opinions between each other. It is the communication that set things right. Do not keep any dissatisfactory in the heart but do voice out tactfully and gently. If you are feeling very angry about something, please cool down first before raising the problems out. Shouting and quarrel do not solve problems but instead give more problems. Therefore, communication is very important in marriage but it is also important in all kinds of relationship.

Third is Trust. If there is no trust in any relationship, it is difficult to maintain. I really cannot imagine if a marriage do not have any trust in it. If husband buys a present for wife, wife might think that their husband might have done something wrong therefore buy something for her. This kind of distrust is really not healthy for marriage. I do not mean to have 100% of trust but at least the trust level should be there is no doubt between the couple.

The above 3 essential elements are what I think would help people in their marriage. I would like to share another bad mentality of "not my fault". When a problem arises, do not pinpoint whose fault but focus on how to solve the problem.

Well, I admit that men are weaker sex when comes to sexual so instead of blaming men, why not help the men? No matter whose problem, it is the coupleā€™s problem therefore both should help to support and help each other instead of pinpointing whose fault. Forgiving also help in a relationship. Learn to forgive and forget whatever fault the other party had done.

Hope that those wives facing EMA learn to forgive and forget. I know it is easier to said than done but forgiving would be more helpful to you than the other party. Well, that is all I have to said.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/781893https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/781893Fri, 22 Jun 2012 08:37:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sat, 26 May 2012 09:50:47 GMT]]>

peapot:
Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I can't tell their wife. It's really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didn't cross their mind they will have EMA. It's the company they mixed with that causes the influence.
Agree! I have seen enough of such men, especially in mine industry, it's so common. These idiots are so nice in front of their wives and children and you can't tell they have PRC gf or frequent fling at the clubs. Their wives seem to trust them 100% and yes, i cant bring myself to tell them and also do not wish to be the one to \"break up\" the marriage. When these idiots go business trips, it's even worse. Anyway I always believe what goes around comes around. They definitely will have their retribution someday! Perhaps it's easier said, I feel women need to be independent and more importantly financially independent. If really encounter such mishap, we will have the capability to bring up our own children. Sometimes I will tell my husband, if he ever do such a thing and I found out, I will kick him out permanently and he will never get to see his precious children anymore!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/770029https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/770029Sat, 26 May 2012 09:50:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sat, 26 May 2012 08:12:21 GMT]]>

peapot:
Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I can't tell their wife. It's really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didn't cross their mind they will have EMA. It's the company they mixed with that causes the influence.
Speaking of these china girls, the counsellor who conducted our marriage prep course last time shared that these girls know exactly what men want. They will speak in lower voice because wives tend to nag in higher pitched voice and they know to say things that stroke the men's egos.

But anyway, I believe if one strays, the seed is already planted even before marriage. That is why must be wary already during dating if bf/gf likes to flirt or spend long hours out there 'entertaining'.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/770006https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/770006Sat, 26 May 2012 08:12:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sat, 26 May 2012 03:47:06 GMT]]>Good Article on Adultery:

http://www.family.org.sg/default.aspx?go=article&aid=652

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/769915https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/769915Sat, 26 May 2012 03:47:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Sat, 31 Mar 2012 14:45:51 GMT]]>Yes, nowdays pretty common. I know my customers who has China girlfriend and hide from their wife. Not just one man like that but a handful of them. Girlfriends always from china. Some tell me the china girl treats them well. When I meet their wives in company functions, I canā€™t tell their wife. Itā€™s really sad. I feel sorry for their wife. Most of these men know their china girlfriend from nightclub.

I think when they got married it probably didnā€™t cross their mind they will have EMA. Itā€™s the company they mixed with that causes the influence.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/738765https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/738765Sat, 31 Mar 2012 14:45:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:53:40 GMT]]>Sad & scary that there are soooo many EMA these days.

Make me kinda worried too. Ladies who are/had experienced it, be strong. Itā€™s always easy for one to sayā€¦but still until one has a personal experience, we can only encourage you to stay strong.

Hope you can share what are the warning signsā€¦

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736584https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736584Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:53:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:25:27 GMT]]>Hey insider,


Thanks for the share. Broken family has been around lately. I,for one is a product of it. Though, Iā€™ve been in my entire life. Iā€™ve always adore my mom for being so brave. Their story is different from yours thus my mom did try to forgive and forget my dad. But, the extra marital affairs occurred more than many. That my mom finally decide to let go.

We are happy now, and I believe my dad too (with his other family).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736561https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736561Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:25:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Wed, 28 Mar 2012 01:18:00 GMT]]>Hi OrangeBelt,

Dun mind can you pls PM me the contact for your PI and the lawyer as well as the cost incurr ?

Am having the same situation. Iā€™m vey very heart pain as DH lie to me again.
He tell me the relationship with her is few years back and they are no more contact.
But this morning i saw a sms that he send the "that" woman to say that he will stand by her side until "that day" coming and he will always love herā€¦

My heart broken , seems like no point th keep this marriage anymore although i am still love him very muchā€¦

thanks in advance

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736419https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/736419Wed, 28 Mar 2012 01:18:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:29:06 GMT]]>LOLmum,


I did check with my lawyer, she will be summon to court tooā€¦ But she is a china workerā€¦ I dunno what court will do to herā€¦ I did tell my lawyer I want to repatriate her back, but lawyer say she did not commit adultery, is my DH commit. she will just be send to court coz she is the co-defendent. But PI says can, they will help me raise a report to MOM and she will be investigate, most likely out of SG forever coz she is not suppose to commit this under her WP regulationsā€¦ Kind of confuse tooā€¦

But am just worried, dunno in future my maintainence will be also having a hard timeā€¦ coz he will nv save and always anyhow spendā€¦ reading thru the forum just now, seems like alot of ex-wifes find it hard to claim alimony and maintainenceā€¦

anyone going thru this and can share experience what if ex dun pay?

thanks.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/731574https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/731574Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:29:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Extra Marital Affair on Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:18:20 GMT]]>hi urgenthelp,


not only will you survive, you are definitely going to have a better life without him. he is the liability, not you.

:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

i wish we would have a law here to enable us to sue the third party for breaking up marriages. :mad:


this song for you........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/731569https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/731569Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:18:20 GMT