<![CDATA[How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help!]]>My brother has been jobless for more than half a year. My sis in law is not helping in anyway except giving him some more problems. He vents his problems on his friends and family. Calling us stupid, moron, idiot for no reason. He has become so withdrawn that I’m afraid that either they are heading for divorce or maybe worse things might happen. Can anyone offer some advice? Appreciate it!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/48188/how-to-help-someone-who-is-constantly-depressed-helpRSS for NodeTue, 16 Jun 2026 17:17:26 GMTWed, 26 Dec 2012 16:25:09 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 14:37:31 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
Funz:

:hugs: Sorry to hear that it is back again.


Has he sought any counselling or even seen a psychiatrist?

Not really. He thinks that he can manage.

saw u dug out this thread again......
Feel sorry for him again....
Doesnt this period of time alrdy proved that he cant manage himself...self-treat ??
Pls tell him to seek appropriate treatment soon....dont delay anymore....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037638https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037638Sun, 14 Jul 2013 14:37:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:49:56 GMT]]>

teaberry:
Your brother has nothing but self-pity for himself.


This attitude problem has to stop before more damage is done. He needs some sense to be knocked into him, that is, he can only save himself, not others. At his age, he should wise up and start to think for others, especially his loved ones, not waste life away by wallowing in self-pity. That will give him some direction in life and it will help him see life from a different perspective. True courage is when you learn to pick yourself up and get out from the doldrums of life.

Meanwhile, pray for him.
I agree with what you say. I tried many ways to talk sense to him. In my opinion, there are a lot of people who are having it worse. Just look at the people with long term chronic illness or handicapped person will do. Being an able bodied person is already a blessing. A person with a strong spirit is someone who can withstand trials.. Not someone with the top qualifications..

Our parents still worry about his life... Always telling me to look out for him..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037485https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037485Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:49:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:36:22 GMT]]>

Funz:
:hugs: Sorry to hear that it is back again.


Has he sought any counselling or even seen a psychiatrist?
Not really. He thinks that he can manage.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037482https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037482Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:36:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:13:25 GMT]]>Your brother has nothing but self-pity for himself.


This attitude problem has to stop before more damage is done. He needs some sense to be knocked into him, that is, he can only save himself, not others. At his age, he should wise up and start to think for others, especially his loved ones, not waste life away by wallowing in self-pity. That will give him some direction in life and it will help him see life from a different perspective. True courage is when you learn to pick yourself up and get out from the doldrums of life.

Meanwhile, pray for him.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037476https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037476Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:13:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 04:46:42 GMT]]>:hugs: Sorry to hear that it is back again.


Has he sought any counselling or even seen a psychiatrist?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037289https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037289Sun, 14 Jul 2013 04:46:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 01:05:24 GMT]]>

Jennifer:
hugs

Now when my brother calls, I get my son or hubby to talk to him. The sound of his voice irks me. I only respond to him on watsapp. Even then, I get fuming mad.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037166https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037166Sun, 14 Jul 2013 01:05:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 01:02:54 GMT]]>hugs

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037162https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037162Sun, 14 Jul 2013 01:02:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 00:49:55 GMT]]>Probably need some counsellor who can guide him on how to reflect on why things didn’t worked out his way.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037153https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037153Sun, 14 Jul 2013 00:49:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 14 Jul 2013 00:25:08 GMT]]>I hate to dig up this thread.

Just do not know what to do with my brother. He is already in his mid 30s but he seems to be still in a slacking mode. Work not going smoothly. Attitude sucks. Wife divorcing him. Now selling house. Always complaining about life being unfair to him.

He made all these wrong choices. Who to blame except himself? How to help him?

He is always saying that my money comes easy. He never thinks about how I establish myself in the last 10 years.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037139https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1037139Sun, 14 Jul 2013 00:25:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Tue, 26 Mar 2013 11:23:14 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
Last year, my brother literally stayed at home for 9 months. Now thankfully he got a job. He is also more cheerful now. He is now trying to save up more money. He used up quite a bit of his savings last year.

Good to hear that your brother is okay now! 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/975531https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/975531Tue, 26 Mar 2013 11:23:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 17 Mar 2013 11:45:40 GMT]]>Last year, my brother literally stayed at home for 9 months. Now thankfully he got a job. He is also more cheerful now. He is now trying to save up more money. He used up quite a bit of his savings last year.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/971452https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/971452Sun, 17 Mar 2013 11:45:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sun, 17 Mar 2013 10:09:49 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
Augmum:

[quote=\"Augmum\"]
All the best to his recovery journey.... 😄

TheAnswer, so how is yr brother now ? still working, i suppose ?

Ya. He is. Full of complains about his job. Complain stressful. Complain paycut etc. Which job isn't stressful right? 🤷[/quote]Well......perhaps, that's his nature.... 😉
at least keep him occupied, it's better than he sitting at home and sink deeper into depression, right?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/971434https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/971434Sun, 17 Mar 2013 10:09:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Sat, 16 Mar 2013 02:17:14 GMT]]>

Augmum:
Augmum:

[quote=\"TheAnswer\"]He is starting work this coming Friday. We will see how!


All the best to his recovery journey.... 😄

TheAnswer, so how is yr brother now ? still working, i suppose ?[/quote]Ya. He is. Full of complains about his job. Complain stressful. Complain paycut etc. Which job isn't stressful right? 🤷

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/970969https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/970969Sat, 16 Mar 2013 02:17:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Fri, 15 Mar 2013 15:35:34 GMT]]>

Augmum:
TheAnswer:

He is starting work this coming Friday. We will see how!


All the best to his recovery journey.... 😄

TheAnswer, so how is yr brother now ? still working, i suppose ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/970853https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/970853Fri, 15 Mar 2013 15:35:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:16:07 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
He is starting work this coming Friday. We will see how!

All the best to his recovery journey.... 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937767https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937767Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:16:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:15:16 GMT]]>

Joule:
great!

but I recommend - still need counselling and professional help

this is to reinforce the recovery
Agree....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937763https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937763Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:15:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:29:08 GMT]]>He is starting work this coming Friday. We will see how!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937528https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937528Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:29:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Mon, 14 Jan 2013 03:17:42 GMT]]>great!


but I recommend - still need counselling and professional help

this is to reinforce the recovery

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937454https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/937454Mon, 14 Jan 2013 03:17:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:14:16 GMT]]>

TheAnswer:
Hello all,


Just want to thank everyone for their imput here. Things are under control now. The past week bro has been attending some interviews. We r hoping for good news!
Hi TheAnswer
It's great to hear that yr brother is taking a positive action now.....
Continue Keeping close monitor of him as not to let his depression to cloud his thinking and judgement....

Hereby , wish him picks himself up quickly and step out of the state of depression....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/935935https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/935935Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:14:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Wed, 09 Jan 2013 07:44:51 GMT]]>Hello all,


Just want to thank everyone for their imput here. Things are under control now. The past week bro has been attending some interviews. We r hoping for good news!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/933901https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/933901Wed, 09 Jan 2013 07:44:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Mon, 07 Jan 2013 08:47:58 GMT]]>When a person is into depression, he is stuck in his own lalaland and it is not that he do not want to listen, there is some kind of inner world stopping him to think like normal us. He will keep to himself, feeling inferior, paranoid and refuse to admit that he is having signs of mental abnormality.


The most important thing now is to persude him to seek medical consultation, and of course, still up to himself, he have to break through, no one is able to force him except himself. The medicine is only to calm and let him feel better for a short period, he have to pick himself up in order to get out of his "own world" and face the reality.

Beside lending a listening ear and giving love and concern hopefully he will feel it and sort his thoughts out soon.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/932262https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/932262Mon, 07 Jan 2013 08:47:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:56:17 GMT]]>Constantly provide a listening ear?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/929185https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/929185Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:56:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Tue, 01 Jan 2013 05:56:28 GMT]]>Hi TheAnswer,


One of my family members had a depression few months ago. We did not know that it was depression. Her temperaments were bothering us. She did not want to see psychiatrist at IMH because of stigma. So, we brought her to Community Wellness Centre at Queenstown which is run by IMH but does not bear any name linking to IMH. At first she refused but I was ready to force her to see a psychiatrist even at the risk of being ostracized by my family because it is either she gets well or all of us will be driven insane by her (she made me cry everyday and I was worried whenever I hear phone rings just in case the phone call is from her.) It is easy for people to ask us to lend ears to depressed people but in reality it is not easy as the depressed person can’t see our view. They are in their own loop. They don’t see the light to get away from their current situation. Although at one point they may agree with us, a few hours later or the next day they will just go back to their original position. It is draining. Imagine we have to do this a few times a day.

The psychiatrist gave her some medications to improve her mood. But before the medicines take effect (it needs minimum of 2 weeks to show some improvement on mental wellbeing), she became worse. I felt terrorised by her phone calls. I felt guilty if I don’t pick up her calls but on the other hand I felt I am at the verge of mental breakdown myself. So I dragged her to SGH. I think I did threaten her that I will call an ambulance from IMH if she does not obediently follow me to SGH.

She was hospitalised at SGH for 5 days. She is a much better person now and she still takes her medicines. She continues to see the psychiatrist at the Community Wellness Centre at Queenstown.

The Centre is above Queenstown polyclinics. You need to get referral from any polyclinics to see a psychiatrist there. There is also another Centre at Geylang. All are run by IMH.

Previously I am sceptical that mental wellbeing can be improved using medications. Now I have seen how the medicines improve my family member’s mental wellness. At least it helps in the beginning. Maybe once she can solve her issues, she does not need the medications. It is just to open up her mind that there are solutions to the problems she is facing.

Do try bringing your brother to see a psychiatrist. Just say it is for a chit chat or something like that. You know your brother better. Do accompany him to the psychiatrist so he won’t feel lonely in facing his problems. At least in the first few visits until he gets better with the effect from medications.

I hope my sharing helps.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/927258https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/927258Tue, 01 Jan 2013 05:56:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to help someone who is constantly depressed??? Help! on Fri, 28 Dec 2012 14:38:21 GMT]]>I assume your brother has an inferior complex....

Especially he is jobless and his wife is still working.....
Quite tough for him to face it.....

Seems that he does not like to share his woes ....

Here is some of my suggestions.
a)Send him to a Retreat to pick himself up
b)Borrow Motivation DVDS and watch it with him , our Public Library has a lot and is free
c)Ask him to accompany you for long morning walks.
(I took a 2 hour morning walk from Alexandar Bridge to Mount Faber then to Sentosa)

Mornings walks are very awesome it really can brighten a person thoughts.
Have the walks before Sunrise, so that you are able to catch the morning Sunrays....listen to the birds, crickets....really very calming

Tell your Brother that his well beings is much important than him finding a job.....

A happy person , will be able to clear all difficulties....

Life has its Ups and Downs....

Most important must be Happy....

Depress will make him withdraw himself even more.....
So how to find a good job?

http://i45.tinypic.com/34skxlv.jpg\">[/quote]

Hello, I agree with you that his well being is far more important than his job. I also like your ideas of morning walks. In fact last month, we went for a few outings in the mornings. During those trips, we chat about life and how we can make things better (Job search and study). I know his resentments (very rarely he shares). He is an introvert with few friends. I understand that guys do feel unbalanced when their wife is earning more or doing better in their career. I believe in positive thinking and I also believe that when u r at the rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.

My brother is a super stubborn person. I cant seem to talk sense into him!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/925353https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/925353Fri, 28 Dec 2012 14:38:21 GMT